« Previous | Main | Next »

Plot: The Road to Eurovision

Post categories:

The One That Doesn't Speak The One That Doesn't Speak | 14:40 UK time, Friday, 5 June 2009

Thanks to Benedict who has obviously thought long and hard about this epic plot. Send us your ideas please to scott.mills@bbc.co.uk


The Road to Eurovision 

by Benedict off of Swansea


Act I

After discovering he has the winning numbers whilst hosting the lottery, Scott decides to fund his ultimate ambition of entering the Eurovision Song Contest. With the help of his Radio 1 listeners he composes a rock ballad about the secrets to a perfect smile. However tragedy strikes in Oslo the night of the big final. Before performing Scott has a piece of cake backstage which assassinates him. A national week of mourning is declared. Listeners travel across the world to pay their last respects bringing large buckets of fake tan to dunk their fallen hero's body in. Before Scott is laid to rest The One That Doesn't Speak whispers something in his ear. The power of The One That Doesn't Speak's voice is enough to temporarily revive Scott. He reveals his dying wish to be cryogenically frozen (using his remaining lottery winnings) so he may be brought back to life in the future. Scott's wish is honoured.

Act II


The act opens with the song "It's Only Bley Heaven!" Scott is at peace and spends his days swimming in lakes of Pinot Grigio. Suddenly the lakes start to drain creating a whirlpool that drags Scott into the vortex. Scott wakes up to find himself in a cryogenics lab in the year 3010. Scott does not find the future a welcoming place as not only is everyone pale with bad teeth but Pinot Grigio and the name Barry and have become extinct. Scott's fortune changes when the time machine manufacturers contact him apologising they could not cross the timeline to pick him up in 2009 despite receiving his Paypal payment. With his time machine Scott travels back in time and prevents his own assassination. The course of history is altered and Scott wins Eurovision in turn saving the world's teeth. Scott off of the future realises he must return to his own time to prevent a universe destroying paradox that would spell the end for Eurovision. However before parting ways the Scott's realise they each have a single glove for different hands that combined make a pair. They swap gloves and get matching "hello sailor" tattoos. Destined to be separated their bond transcends time. The devastated 2010 Scott devotes the rest of his life to securing the future of the other Scott by using his lottery money (no longer spent on cryogenics) to set up a Pinot Grigio conservation charity and starts the annual Barry Song Contest. Most songs that win the Barry Song Contest are about spray tans. Meanwhile the future has become a Scott Utopia and future Scott is very happy and grateful for the work of the other version of himself.

During the musical as plot holes become apparent Becky and Chappers appear and perform "Oh, What's Occuring?" to provide necessary exposition. Each offers their interpretation of what has happened in the plot. The audience can also play at home by retrospectively thinking of their own plot remedies.

I best get back to revising, hope you enjoy and use some of my ideas.


  • No comments to display yet.

BBC © 2014 The BBC is not responsible for the content of external sites. Read more.

This page is best viewed in an up-to-date web browser with style sheets (CSS) enabled. While you will be able to view the content of this page in your current browser, you will not be able to get the full visual experience. Please consider upgrading your browser software or enabling style sheets (CSS) if you are able to do so.