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Saturday Live

Stewart Henderson

  • JP
  • 8 Dec 06, 04:24 PM

Stewart Henderson is a poet, songwriter and broadcaster. The Sunday Times described his children’s poetry as ‘essential reading’. Widely anthologised, Stewart’s verse is set for both GCSE and Key Stage in primary schools in the UK and the Republic of Ireland. His best selling ‘Who Left Grandad At The Chipshop?’ and ‘All Things Weird and Wonderful’ alongside his various collections for adults have seen him become a festival favourite at literary events.

Stewart is also a regular broadcaster on BBC Radio 4 and has presented ‘Questions, Questions’ for four years.



Let’s face it, my face doesn’t fit
though the Surgeon assured me it would
Happy Christmas to interesting bruising,
and occasional seepage of blood

And with visage embroidery complete
Yet the soul is as fragile as lace –
for enhancement defers what will be,
this temporary gain, losing face

Copyright Stewart Henderson 2006


I was once derelict and discarded,
with distemper, and mange, beyond cure
but, one man’s healing mission
and knowledge of Titian
turned this mutt into art connoisseur

Thanks to him, I now pant with discernment
I’m appalled by the ‘daringly new’
I’m waspish and learned
and unlike a St.Bernard
I don’t drool at some grand private view

I can discourse on Reubens and Dali
dissect Vermeer’s pearl adorned girl
at Cubists I growl,
and just simply howl
at a Pollock kaleidoscope swirl

I’ve learnt to be arch about Damien,
praise Turner, no ordinary Joe
on Hockney, I’m waggish
quite Melvyn Braggish,
why he’s in this poem, I don’t know

And as we curl up of an evening
just Rembrandt, and Brian, and me
his diction, oration
and rich intonation
now ensures that my bark is RP

Copyright Stewart Henderson 2006


Here I am not being dreadful
or provocative
or argumentative
because of the situation
here I am not being dreadful

here I am not being
deprived of substance
and presence
and control
here I am not being

here I am not
at all
reading this poem
have been taken
here I am not

here I am
back again
Of course I’ve changed,
wouldn’t you?
here I am

here I
there you
here I am not being dreadful
willing you to understand
the full dread.

Copyright Stewart Henderson 2006

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