Gags, grins and golfers
- 24 Sep 06, 08:53 PM
K CLUB – Admittedly, they had mostly had a few drinks, and Ian Woosnam more than made up for those who hadn’t.
But the European Ryder Cup team demonstrated in their final press conference the togetherness and camaraderie that swept them to victory.
And they proved the perfect finale to the Dublin comedy festival. In fact they stole the show.
Forget Little Britain, Ross Noble and the rest who played the capital this week, these guys do gags AND golf.
Witness this little exchange for starters.
Local hero Padraig Harrington was asked how he felt about the week and he replied that he was glad it had gone well because there was so much expectation beforehand.
“I’m actually quite relieved,” he said. At which point, David Howell, leaving the stage to use the facilities, quipped, “I’m about to be relieved too.”
Howell also starred in another great sketch. Responding to a question about his partnership with Paul Casey, the man who has just overtaken him at the top of the rankings, the son of Swindon insisted several times that he was “pleased as punch” about this, that and the other.
Finally, in conclusion, he added: “To be honest with you, I just wish I’d stop saying 'pleased as punch'.” Colin Montgomerie nearly had a heart attack at that one.
Some of the more ribald exchanges took place, not surprisingly, between Woosnam and Darren Clarke.
Clarke was asked to reflect on Woosnam's captaincy, and also rate the wee man's performance in downing his pint amid the celebrations on the balcony.
“He took 10 seconds too long,” said Clarke, who also drained a glass.
Indignant, Woosnam fired back: “I was quicker than you, and I’ll prove it now if you want to get them out on the table.”
Clarke: “I’m a little bit younger than you. Just mind your age.”
Woosnam: “There’s nothing like experience.”
Clarke: “If you can keep up with me later you’ll be doing ok.”
Garcia: “There’s a challenge here.”
Woosnam: “No doubt about it.”
Clarke: “Guinness ability, that’s why they picked me for the team, there was no other reason whatsoever.”
Woosnam: “When I said we were going to have a party, WE’RE GOING TO HAVE A PARTY BOYS.”
Clarke: “What was the question?”
Later on, the whole team were asked who would be the last man standing at the party.
Clarke and Westwood both raised their hands. And Clarke said: “I may not be standing but I’ll be there.”
Luke Donald, in his captain’s corner for the who-can-drink-most debate, interjected with: “Woosie’s got an advantage with his low centre of gravity.”
The diminutive Woosnam, perhaps acknowledging that he may have taken some drink, admitted: “I’m already on the ground anyway.”
Westwood is no slouch in the banter department either, despite reports that he was feeling ill all day. He was also sick at the last qualifying event in Munich, and The Sun man asked what the problem had been.
Clarke interjected with a long-winded rant about how Westwood was always sick. When Clarke had finished, Worksop’s finest said simply: “I’m feeling all right, thanks.”
There were plenty of other little cameos too.
It was suggested to Paul McGinley that had he not agreed a half with JJ Henry on the final green, Europe may have achieved a record victory.
“Yes, it has crossed my mind. I have been told on several occasions,” said the Dubliner.
“And I tell you what, it’s not finished yet. I asked Des (assistant captain Des Smyth) what to do. He wouldn’t make a decision. Thanks, Des.”
A Spanish hack asked seven-time Ryder Cup star Jose Maria Olazabal how it felt to represent his country.
“Well, it’s not the first time,” countered Olazabal.
The players were also quizzed on what it meant to have someone like Montgomerie on the team.
“They (America) have got Walt Disney, we’ve got Colin,” said Garcia, somewhat ambiguously, but funny nonetheless. "I think I'll take that as a compliment," added Montgomerie.
Of all the great things that I’ve seen, heard, done, drunk and eaten this week, that 30 minutes in the presence of these guys with their guard lowered a bit was without doubt the most fun.
Hopefully, you’ve also enjoyed some of our blogging (don’t you just hate that word though) from the K Club this week, and to sign off I’ll continue the showman theme.
“I’ve been Rob Hodgetts. Thanks for reading. Good night.”
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