The Battle of the R2 Lagoon
Deep within a secluded lagoon of pre-recorded time, there awaited an intrepid vessel preparing to be launched into the continuum. 1st mate Matt had diligently applied his "mane and tail" shampoo and was ever ready for any foreseeable event. Captain Brand had meanwhile opted for the full body defence option to protect him on this mission. He sported the much coveted "Boyce Behaviour Armour" (circa 1984), which was considered to be most formidable.
The ship set sail through the magical "Rainbow of Georges" (where the legendary Boris Dancers dwell) and made its way up the "Westwood River". But before it could reach "Hatton island" a mighty crash occurred and a huge fog descended. Amidst the mahyem could be heard the oh-so-familiar cackle of the pirate Captain Ross and his first mate Pudsey (boooooo). "Where's Bwand?" he shouted.
A gruelling battle ensued as the mighty titans clashed. There were black toilet rolls and Ferrari keys flying all over the shop. Pudsey was the victim of an extreme cuddle and left weeping in the corner (to be later consoled by Matt) and the poet Gee was thrown overboard to drown in an unforgiving sea of metaphors and similies.
Finally, the mist cleared and all that was left was a solitary Rainbow George who prayed for all our souls. Amen.
This week: I celebrated my birthday by going to see my favourite MC Ice Cube do his first UK show in a decade..... Awesome!
The Grand Pianist
Like the echoes of a piano's final notes of symphony,
Attracting those who're in the throes of a black bog roll epiphany,
So cry Matt a river,
He'll get aroused just like Trigger,
Will Sweep awake from his sleep,
When a Rainbow George speech is delivered,
Our Souls face an alien attack,
Tinkling the ivories with Boyce,
As Ross sees sharp to be flat,
And love is in the air as Westwood reacts,
If a kiss is just a kiss,
Just ask Ricky and Frank!
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Hello Guys,
Hope you are well and enjoying the lack of sunshine here in crappy ol England, I think there`s a storm brewin today as I got attacked my flying ants on the way home from work (feisty little buggers!!!) Russell im so heart brokien now that you have a new love interest in the form of an `aussie bird`!!! I was secretly hoping you would discover me on match.com and we would live happily ever after with my bezzie mate bex were we could spend the rest of our lives writing ridiculously funny scripts well we could get matt to write them while we just recite them and lark about the whole time!!!!)
I need a new job, im throughly fed up at the moment, not with my precious client group who I adore with all my heart (i work in mental health in case you had`nt heard!!!!!) You see my job is as you can imagine very emotionally demanding sometimes you hsvr to listen to some pretty horrific stuff. Im well over allocated on my client group, but i never moan because the clients make it all worth while.Anyway Russell now you will be disgusted in this bearing in mind the nature of the job and what we deal with on a daily basis!!! i was having my supervision and my manager pointed out that `I had left serveral coats on the rack outside the office and asked me if i would take them home. I took the jackets home but I did think it rather petty to mention this in my one to one time. To make matters worse I recieved my supervision notes that mentioned I had left my jackets `lying around` (two jackets on a coat rack) and was asked to take them home. It was`nt the fact I was told to take my jackets home it is the spiteful intent behind that comment. NO thankyou for all the hard work that has been put into the service, no mention of the fact that my client group is over allocated and im still reaching my targets in the office, just trivial nonsense about a couple of lousy jackets!!!! I wrote a very sarcastic e mail back and will bring my entire wardrobe in if i feel like it!!!!!! I do believe it is the mentality of most companies, and also in politics to highlight the `trivial things in life` my philosiphy is that smokescreens are then put in place and this prevents more important issues being dealt with, My pet hate is pettiness I hate it i hate it i hate and yet I have to deal with everyday in the office, I suppose lack of intelligance makes on small minded!!!!!!!!! Im sorry t go on Russell but I know you would love our little service we try so hard we do and then we get patronised by the high arachy!!! Never mind God is the boss and I should be humble to be wrorking in such a rewarding job, I just needed to sound off coz Ive been feeling very frustrated. I thought you were lovely on Richard and Judy the other day Russell, you looked all mellow and had a lovely calm vibe about you, maybe that new girl is doing you the world of good, does`nt matter if it dont work out, me and bex should you need a shoulder to cry on ha ha ha!! Hey I would love to see you and Noel Fielding at the gig on 28th July in aid of Focus 12 (bit of free PR!!!) but I cant get anyone to go with me, so hopefully yo will make a dvd and Il buy it, might be too over whelming seeing the two of my most favourite men in the world together in one room, I might pass out with the sheer excitement of it all!!!!!! You lovely saucy onions!!!!!!
Love you.
Kara xxxxxxxxx
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