Feel the Urn!
Well it's all kicked off. The Ashes. The biennial fight for the most ridiculous trophy in world sport - and since the passing on of Morecambe and Wise, everyone's favourite Little Urn.
Can't they just make a bigger one? I mean every time I see a picture of Vaughany and Punter holding that tiny little toy pot it reminds me of how me mam used to buy me a tiny cheap choccie egg at Easter while Tony Thompson was tearing apart a giant Milk Tray jobbie. She said we were poor, I say she was tight.
Day one began with an almighty sing-song. Of course it being Wales they had to wheel out Katherine Blinking Jenkins. A bonny lass for sure but I'm sure if she was built like Harry Secombe circa 1972 we wouldn't have to be listening to her warbling every time anything of significance happens on the other side of Offa's Dyke.
Still I joined in with Jerusalem. I'm not the most regular church-goer in the land but I blooming love that tune. So much better than 'God Save The Queen' - which is not too horrible a sentiment but I always think that the line is begging to be followed with the phrase 'And to hell with the rest of us'. But I tell you, I'd pay top dollar for a bow of burning gold and some arrows of desire.
Then the cricket began. No Harmy so everyone from wickie to gully could take their hard hats off. The lad Johnson bowled a tame over and I thought 'aye, aye, no probs' but he came back well just before lunch.
It's hard to know what to expect from this series, mind. All these new faces but still that rather squinty-eyed Aussie expression in the new boys' eyes, like they've spent their entire lives blinking into the sun. It also gives them an Eastwoodesque meanness. The lad Siddle had that look in spades. A good man to have on your side, by the look of him.
Hauritz looks as average as the press predicted but then that worried me. Four years ago we had the undisputed master of anonymous spin. No not that bloke Gordon Brown had to sack a while back, but Ashley Giles.
Remember him duping Ponting into an unwise sweep? Well substitute rubbish spinner Nathan and top batter KP and it's the same sucker punch. The only difference is that you can be sure Ponting went back to the dressing-room knowing he'd been a right twerp whereas Pietersen comes out and tells interviewers that's just the way he plays.
Can't he at least say 'That's the way I play and sometimes it makes me look a bit silly.' In the past I've thought that big Kev has every right to do his own thing when the rest of them are leaving the hard work to him. But it's not good enough anymore for him to cockily dismiss the fact that he played like a bit of a numpty when he just needed to a bit of sensible stuff while Prior got his eye in.
KP says he likes playing the sweep - but not from three feet outside off stump, you plank! I mean I like a late-night kebab but I wait 'til I find an appropriate outlet, know what I mean?
KP is like the hare in the fable. Bring on a tortoise and he can't help but get complacent. Until he gets rid of his tendency to be a complete dolt when well set he'll never quite earn the tag of the World's Greatest Batsman. Well, outside of his own head, that is.
Still, it kept the day in the balance and Matt and Fred's late show, followed by the wagging tail of Swanny and Anderson (!) has put England on top. Now we'll see how that pair bowl. Flintoff and Broad will bend their backs and Monty will appeal almost as much as the Jenkins lass, but Jimmy can swing it and Graeme can spin it and I think the Aussies could struggle if they get it right.
It's already on a knife-edge, all the memories of '05 have come flooding back, and all the memories of 06/07 have been conveniently forgotten.
Even my missus was hiding behind the sofa during KP's show-stopping 158 at the Oval. Old ladies who didn't get close to the back pages of a newspaper were telling me how much they liked that Mr Flintstone. Kids on concrete housing estates were starting to draw stumps in chalk against ground floor walls and council officials were turning a blind eye to the 'No Ball Games' signs.
More of the same please!
I'm Derek Robson. People call me Robbo. Legend has it I was raised in the furnace and smog of Teesside. Some might say I took the hard road. I like to tell folk I had trials for Middlesbrough, for Hartlepool and for burglary (not guilty). I've always loved sport. My job is to say it as I see it - whether it's in the bar of the Blue Bell or on this blog. You won't find me calling a spade a soil-redistribution implement.
© MMIX~RS~q~RS~~RS~z~RS~01~RS~)
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Great work Robbo! Top notch as always.
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Spot on with Pieterson. As annoyed as I was with his dismissal, his defence of it in the post-match interview just showed what he's all about..."me, me, me" (or maybe that should be "him, him, him").
Still, all 4 results are still on and I think (weather permitting) this one could go all the way to day 5.
Rather like the snooker matches where both players keep missing, the fact that both these teams are pretty average means this match, and hopefully the whole series, will be competitive and entertaining...
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Love the blog Robbo but I wish people would stop getting on KP's back for getting out with stupid shots considering most of the runs he scores are with completely untextbook (is that a word) strokes.
Keep doing exactly what you are KP, you wont find me repeatedly criticising our best batsman for top scoring!
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The reference to "No Ball Games" reminds me of our ancient, and not too bright, Assistant Headmaster during school assembly. Our school had a busy road at the other side of the high wall which surrounded the playground, and our footballs kept soaring over the walls and disrupting the traffic. A school rule was introduced, whereby we could only play footy with a ball which was less that four inches in diameter - but, of course, that was largely ignored. So, our aforementioned AH declared, severely, at assembly, "Boys whose balls are more than four inches in diameter are reminded that they are not allowed to play with them in the back quad."
And quite right too.
I hope the Taffs aren't too disappointed that Lillee of the Valleys didn't turn out for the Aussies.
England to win a tight series.
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Sorry #3 but I cannot agree. By now KP should have learnt that when the ball is a wide outside off stump you don't try to sweep it even if that was what you had planned, and when you are on 69 you should be seeing the ball so well that there is plenty of time to change the shot.
If the game it tight then the extra 60 runs he should have got could prove crucial. I don't say 'drop him' but he needs to be told that he is a plonker when he is one.
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Ahhh Robbo man... thats more like it, lets just pretend the last couple of weeks didn't happen, and this glorious tournament can take us nicely up to the footy...
Quality blog as ever mush but have to disagree with almost everyone on KP. Yeah he plays some prety divvy shots from time to time, but he consistantly delivers. And that fact he's got a bit of arogance behind him is good thing... Thats what we need, preferably closer to four inches in diameter! Ay Zoots!?!
Oh but totally agree on the national anthem, may be risking a bit of abuse here, but i honestly beleive we have the worst national anthem of any nation on earth... Nothing against the queen, just a bleeding awful tune, i blame all of our sporting downfalls on having that to get us in the mood... Hardly Eye of the flipping Tiger is it!
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Ref 6 RedBlueArmy92
"Eye of the Tiger" as national anthem? You're on a rocky one there, mate. Or, more precisely, a Rocky IV.
I personally think that all the good national anthems disappeared with the collapse of communism. That Russian thing used to have me all dewy-eyed about swaying cornfields, and Joe Stalin in his white suit...
Robbo clearly prefers "Jerusalem", but that's because the "dark satanic mills" bit reminds him of home.
The Ashes crowd have clearly made their decision: Freddie takes the first Aussie wicket, and someone in the crowd is playing "The Flintstones". Maybe it's one of those old ladies that Robbo hangs about with.
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Brandyrecovery... 4 results?
Aussie win, England win, draw and...?
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#7...
If it helped beat Ivan Drago, just imagine what Eye of the Tiger could do for us come the Olympics or even the World Cup next summer!
As for Robbo and The Flinstones... I heard it was Robbo bringing up the subject with the old ladies... Saying "I aint Fred Flinstone, but baby i'll make your Bed Rock!" ???
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#8
Er, tie. Both scores equal at the end.
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#8 - albeit rather unlikely, a tie is also possible
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it happened twice alrady, the tie... you never know http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tied_Test
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Completely agree about Jenkins. Every time there's a sporting event in Wales they trundle her out and get her to warble. Whatever happened to that nice Charlotte Church?
Don't agree at all about KP though. Maybe it was a stupid shot with the benefit of hindsight, but most shots he plays are stupid yet he manages to get away with them. He's just fine playing the way he is. http://www.loserscomesecond.com/
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Redbluearmy92, God Save The Queen's not that bad, esp. when Stuart Pearce's singing. Our Tanzanian national anthem has a similar tune to the Zambian & South African ones, so when we play either of those two teams, you can insert words in either anthem and it would fit! Don't know who owns the copyrights to the tune, he should've sued by now, so that we get a new anthem...Good blog Robbo, it's strange to read cricket on your blog though!
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14: Well, anythings better if Stuart Peace is singing it...
But i still hold strong, it is the worst national anthem ever! All through the last olympics i watched as many medal ceromonies as possible trying to find a more dire tune... Alas one was not found.
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Guys, yes the 4th possible result is a tie and I think the 2nd one was c.1983 India vs Australia. Possibly the greeatest ever test match (although Headingly 1981 and Ind vs Aud 2001 where the teams following-on ended up winning will also be up there, of course)
Aussie's application seems to be spot on...if they get to stumps day 2 on 230-2, and bat all of day 3, then Pieterson's shot will look even more stupid.
If it wasn't for the tail wagging, we'd be in even more trouble. I don't understand people saying "that's just the way he is" and he seems to believe it himself.
People need to understand that cricket, despite all the contributions being of an individual nature, is a TEAM game. In this current England team Pieterson is the only batter in the top 6 who is International class. When Collingwood got out he should have decided to drop the anchor and establish the innings, as 500 was still a possible score.
Being 1-dimensioned is a weakness, and one that could be easily rectified. If it's possible for someone to explain to him that ENGLAND WINNING is the prime objective for the whole team...
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Re 'The Tie possibility' that can't happen because Stuart Broad will be bowling or fielding and the laws of Quantum cricket mean that 'Broad being on the pitch and fielding'...and 'a tie' can't exist in the same space time contuinuum.
I don't want to see a crazy, Aussie, panicky, no-run, run attempt of the final ball ...turned into a win by one wicket thanks to a Broady excocet special speared toward the opposite boundary through the massed ranks saving one....!
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Urgh, cricket. And even worse, The Ashes.
Is there any other contest in the world where it is alwyas only decided by 2 participants? Well apart from marriage, obviously. Given England have only one once in 20 years I think we can safely say they are the man in the Ashes relationship.
And before you all threaten my privates for pointing that out, can I just remind you that if England are the man then that makes Australia a great big girl.
When they were inventing cricket I wonder how they decided how long a game should be?
"All right chaps, that's the rules decided, now how long should we play for?"
"I know, how about 5 days?"
"Ohh, I don't know, sounds a bit long, tell you what if we can have a rest day in the middle for the boys to recover from the physical endurance of standing in a field all day then you're on."
Roll on the footie.
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Good God, did I just say one once?
I'm off down the nearest river.
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# 18
GazUtd, I assume you have posted this entry to elicit a reaction from cricket fans... I would have thought in the soccer, sorry football, off season you would be lying on a sunbed in Magaluf.
Cricket has long been the superior game. Even Robbo has acknowledged its attraction.
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It's a good job it's only two teams that qualify, or else we wouldn't be innit, cos were not as good as we think we are (and i don't mean just at the cricket !!).
Good blog Robbo, but i think youv'e talked the bowling dept up a bit, just seen the score, and they look to be batting better than we did, pieterson included, could be a long spell in the field this summer.
Only other event i can think of with only two teams allowed to enter is the Boat Race, is it an English thing or what ????
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Firstly, I agree that it seems odd to berate Pietersen for shot selection seeing as A) he was top scorer and B) his batting style has never been exactly what you would call orthodox. But time and again he seems to lose the plot and forget about the long game altogether, giving away his wicket cheaply, its all well and good being a free flowing maverick but were it not for the wagging tail we could have been ruing the wrecklessness.
Secondly, i don't mean to be a pedant, but i think you'll find while Eye of the Tiger would make a far superior national anthem, albeit we would need to work in some reference to Queeny, god bless her, it was not used in Rocky IV. Rather the iconic classic did not make it's first appearance until Rocky III, and if it does feature in IV, it would only be by way of a fleeting montage moment. I'll get my coat...
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22: If it is as you say in Rocky III and not IV, it's still the tune that beat CLUBBER LANG! I would have to say beating Mr T is far greater feat than beating Dolph Lundgren... Though he did kill Apollo Creed???
Still, point is your up for the fight with a bit of Survivor ringing in your ears...
And looks like our boys could do with a bit of fight as well... 2007 coming back to any one else or just me!
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Wasn't it Rocky II?...
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No it was Rocky III. I'll get my coat...
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The font of knowledge that is Wikipedia states:
"Eye of the Tiger" is a song performed by the American rock band Survivor from the album Eye of the Tiger, released in 1982. It was written at the request of Sylvester Stallone for the film Rocky III. The original mix of the song, heard in the film, features tiger growls, though these are omitted on the album and single versions.
This definitely has to be the new anthem, particualrly if we could get the original featuring "Tiger growls" - now that really would instill some fight in the lads!
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YES... with growls!
We've started something today, someone on Friendface get an appeal launched!
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Good blog Robbo.
Ponting and Katich are showing the ' pretender' Pietersen how to bat , build a score , be patient and play for the team.
Our bowlers seem to be in the doldrums and I expect the Aussies to get 500 easily , this match has draw written all over it.
So much for the overnight optimism and euphoria, maybe if the big ' P' had passed 100 ,things would be different.? Good tailend though.!!
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Sure, we can have a bigger Urn. Who are we cremating?
May I propose, the Queen?
That way, 'God save the Queen' will have a new meaning. And considering, she is the Queen of Australia as well, might liven this up an extra notch.
*propose as in suggest. Proposing the queen is illegal (Well, it should be)
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Wonder if Thommo is regretting his assessment of Ponting, after today. Probably not. As my old maths teacher used to say, "You know, boys, you can always tell an Australian. But not very much."
Oz's day. At least two wickets before lunch tomorrow, or it's pleading looks at the clouds, with the possibility of "The Lion Sleeps Tonight", instead of "Eye of the Tiger", as the new National Anthem.
Although that "Wimoweh" bit is bereft of any dignity. Queeny, God Bless her, would disapprove, and the Duke would be convinced that somebody was throwing spears at him.
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#28 They're on 249-1 and you're talking about them scoring 500? You're an optimist. I'd say we're looking at about 700! Unless somebody start bowling something decent tomorrow.
Only 2 possible outcomes then, draw and Aussie win.
2/3
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Ref 29 Spitfire
Hang on: you're concerned that "proposing the Queen" is illegal, but you're casually recommending cremating her? And you have the effontery to call yourself "Spitfire"? You're badder that Bader and more Baden Meinhof than both.
Off with your head!
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Bader Meinhof, of course. Made an "r"s of that.
The sentence is different but the sentence remains the same.
Off with his head!
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Good one Robbo.....i was expecting some blogs on ronaldo/kaka and madrid and the transfer mayhem going on now....what happened, no more blogs on football???
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This is yet another 'lets have a dig at KP blog'. Top scorer in the innings again, looks the most likely batsman to consistently score us runs..again. However, its just not good enough? (what!!!) When we have a team full of consistent batsman maybe we can have a moan; lets get behind him and hope he goes on to score many runs throughout the series.
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ref 35 astrosoccer
I don't know that this is exclusively a "let's have a dig at KP blog". Robbo was a bit scathing in some of his assessments about the KP temperament, and about a certain vanity and arrogance. Equally, he did pay tribute to "KPs show-stopping 158".
I think that we all accept that you don't face up to Aussie bowlers, and succeed, without having an adequate arrogance and vanity. As for comments about temperament, and a degree of recklessness at key times in a test match, there are concerns.
I suspect that we are all a little frustrated that an outstanding batsman sometimes loses his wicket cheaply, and that clouds our recollection of the things he has done really well.
As far as postings are concerned, my count is that four criticise KP, and three, including yours, speak out strongly in his favour. The score is now four all. In my opinion, there are two really enigmatic show-stopping stars in the current England team, KP and FF. They each have the capacity to drive us up the wall, but they are always liable to be the inspirational match winners in any situation, and they are compulsive viewing when they are performing.
There's a long way to go in this match, and an even longer way to go in the series. It would be a lot less attractive without anticipating KP at the crease.
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Well Robbo its more of a superficial rant than an article of any insight. Criticise two people of quality (Jenkins and Pietersen) and not much else really.
It would be good to know what you make of England's top 6 not going on to make hundreds, despite good starts.
Its such a yawn reading about the shot to which KP succumbs, without analysis of the 69 runs preceding that. What do you make of the pitch? Do you feel that it could be worrying for England that all their players (Monty aside) reached double figures, and hence what will the Aussies do on a pitch like this?
Perhaps Pietersen's compliment to Hauritz yesterday evening was well founded (3 English wickets), and Swanny/Monty have yet to fire on this wicket.
Anyhow, this test match may well develop into an exciting contest as is befitting of the Ashes!
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I'm fed up with the likes of Robbo and the rest of the so called media experts slagging KP off. Once again he is our highest scoring batsman and once again he gets all the criticism from the know alls.
Perhaps they would all be happy with KP if he had succumbed earlier in the innings to the plumb LBW that the umpire happily missed. Naturally gifted players because they have so much talent will often try the outrageous and we need them to continue to do so because they are the entertainers , the ones we come to watch, the ones who can do things that the other players can't.
Perhaps the experts would be happier if we went back to the dark days of Chris Tavare and bat for 5 hours before succumbing LBW for 17.
We should rejoice in the talents of Pietersen,Flintoff etc. These are the players that the aussie media and players worry about because they know that they have the ability to turn matches on their own. Hence the Aussie press castigating KP for "giving up" his wicket.
Leave him alone......I'm glad he doesn't play for them!
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Them people who are whingeing about people like me having a go at KP for throwing it away. Look at Katich and ponting and now tell me he's allowed to play stupid shots. 100 each. KP - we all like a 69 but on this occasion a ton would've put them out of sight!
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I often wonder what comes over people when they analyse the performance of our national teams.
Only in this country could the person who achieved the highest score in an innings, against one of the best test teams in the world (albeit with a weak bowling attack), be picked out for criticism while the rest of his largely underperforming colleagues are ignored. If they all got 69 before giving their wicket away i'd be delighted!
The thing that sets him apart from the rest of our batsmen is the fact that he will try something different or risky, if you take that out of his game you'll be left with just another mediocre batsman for our middle order.
And as for the people who criticise him for thinking he is the best player in the world, name me a player in any sport who got to be the best player in the world without believing they were before they got there?
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#2 Of course KP is going to be "Me, me, me...." he's not called FIGJAM for nothing is he?
It was a lousy shot but I suppose we should be grateful that he played it at 69 and not a lot earlier in the innings
I had to get retaliation in early at work today - I live in Geelong nr Melbourne - by commenting that at least Australia made it past the follow on. This distraction prevented comments from my Aussie colleagues on the apparent paucity of the bowling yesterday
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#32.
I never suggested we should actively pursue cremation while she is, well, alive.
Just that it should be considered as one of the available options.
And cremations dont have to be boring, in the oven, out of the oven, affair either. We could hire the blokes who did the Olympics opening fireworks last year and we are on to something.
Highest viewer ratings for a Royal Goodbye ever.
Plus, we could carry on singing God save the Queen (from the Australians, because remember she will be in the Urn at that point) and not God save the big eared one.
We are stuck with the big ears for a while, arent we? :(
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I am so sick of all the idiots having a go at pitersen. HE GOT THE MOST RUNS. He is a our best player on a regular basis yet we slag him off more then any other player. He is special and will try the speical.
When the over batsmen start to do well then have a go.
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The problem with KP is that whilst having a maverick batsman is great for the game it helps if he is surrounded by other blokes who can notch up some steady runs whilst he does a bit of showboating. Maybe we rely a little too much on KP for the runs.
On the more serious debate of the national anthem. Eye Of The Tiger just isn't English enough. We need to replace the tiger aspect with a lion somehow. I propose we either use the old "In The Jungle The Mighty Jungle The Lion Sleeps Tonigh" - The "awimbaways" will be awesome when sung by the Rugby Team in answer to the Haka, or we should get Chaz and Dave to do an English themed cover of the "Eye Of The Tiger" may be "Eye Of The Lion" - it could work....maybe.
By the way as it's the British national anthem shouldn't all the home nations sing the same anthem?
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akaBigfella
I don't know that the Cardiff crowd would be prepared to sing along with Chaz and Dave. They could re-name themselves Charles and Dafydd on the off chance of winning local favour, but, even then, they'd be on a stickier wicket than Monty, so to speak.
The real problem is the "Charles", Prince of the same name, who apparemtly has the right to sleep with newly married Welsh virgins, since his purchase of the Llwynywormwood Estate, unless the husbands give him 50p. That presents a real dilemma for two guys in Wales.
The 50p levy is true. I am making a serious point. And I don't want any dubious replies questioning levels of Welsh virginity, or using second-rate puns on the thenme of "Llwynwormwood scrubbers".
Now, THERE'S lovely.
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Why are you all slagging this South African bloke Pietersen, whoever he is?
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Nice to read you on home soil this week Robbo. Oxford for the weekend and all the world's abuzz with urns and erns.
My personal favourite was Benny Hill's milk man and I fully expect that if he really had the biggest chopper in the West thenhis balls mst have been all of 4" in diameter.
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Ref 47 TrotterUSA
I remember well that milkman. His adversary was Two Ton Ted From Teddington, who drove the baker's van. With him, the problem wasn't just the diameter; it was the weight.
The other great literary milkman was Pat Mustard, who delivered to Father Ted, and who wanted to put his big tool into Mrs Doyle's box.
Bloody milkmen. It's little wonder that we buy the stuff from the supermarket these days, and keep the blighters away from our women. Mr Kipling now drives the baker's van and, although his poetry was banned for over-use of the "if" word, he's promised to be exceedingly good.
Early wickets today, or it's up the Swanee. Which would be an outlandish reaction against Thursday's hero.
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I can see I'm a bit late joining in here (they hid your blog Robbo, sort that out) but 'two team only contests'.......I'm sure there are more but I can think of:
Calcutta Cup (England V Scotland, RU)
Bledisloe Cup (Australia V New Zealand, RU)
State of Origin series (Queensland V New South Wales, RL)
Charity Shield....
If you're going to include The Boat Race then pretty much any boxing match surely counts as well.
If I want to be pithy, Scottish Premier League, anyone?
Look at the time I'm posting this and you'll understand why I daren't comment on the bloody cricket.
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ref 49ControlledMagic
No relevant comment CAN be made on the bloody cricket. It's become a one team only fixture. Bloody 'ell.
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Dear Robbo, please crush Becks about his return to the US. We all know that Donovan is a bit of a wet rag and should've kept his yapper clapped, but the point stands. Do your (Brat)wurst.
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[Unsuitable/Broken URL removed by Moderator]yep, donovan should have just kept quiet or at least talk to him face to face.
http://wedontknowfootball.com/
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