It's now or never
'Squeaky-bum time', Sir Alex Ferguson called it. I tell you, in the Blue Bell on Monday night it'll be a flaming concerto for backsides and bar-stools as we cheer on the Boro against Newcastle.
The tellies'll be on full blast in the Last Chance Saloon Bar, the No Turning Back Public Bar and even The Well Uncomfortable Snug. We will call on the greats that have strode before us: Mannion, Hardwick, Maddren, Boam, Juninho, hellfire even Danny 'Dark Satanic' Mills if it'll help.
Hull have done their bit. Ever since Phil Brown did that on-pitch team talk, the Tigers have lost their bite. Brown was a swaggering dandy early doors, but Hull have sunk almost as deep as their manager's tan.
They could nab a point at Bolton, although they are the natural forefathers of Stoke and they were pretty hopeless against them. I can't see them surviving now, but at least they have the chance to be patronised by the Champions on the last day of the season.
The Boro'll be off to Upton Park by then, hoping to see more of the di Michele Shuffle (right, left, dive!) and a sneaky last-ditch winner. Mind, there's no point in looking at other teams' results anymore. It's what our boys do that counts.
And the road to St James' Park will be lined with itinerant peddlers of false nails, urging fans to save their own cuticles and gnaw on the fake replacements instead. Actually that could be a well lucrative business so if you're thinking of starting it up, I demand a cut.
Southgate and Shearer have made the usual banal statements: biggest game; time to step up; players know their responsibilities. Thing is, I don't think there's a man or child from the Tyne or the Tees who doesn't in their heart of hearts know that neither club deserves to scrape a finish above the drop. Both teams have been hopeless. But at least you Geordies have had four different bosses making the excuses all season.
I think Boro have gained and lost in the run-up to this fixture. Barton's absence will be a huge blow for us. It's going to be a tense game and having some empty-headed muppet flying into tackles for no good reason would have been a right boost for us.
Then again at least we've got Iain Dowie - Mr 'Bouncebackability'- and looking at his profile it seems he's been bounced back off a few hard surfaces in his time. It was a huge surprise when Shearer arrived, but it was probably even more alarming that he brought Dowie in with him 'cos he'd 'been there before'.
Yes, Al, he'd been there, he'd failed and he'd got the boot. Dowie's relentlessly positive, but if you're wading waist-deep through a main sewer, there's something a bit blinking tiring about the bloke who keeps saying "Come on lads! At least we're not walking on our hands, eh?"
Of course the Toon Army can feel confident, too. Owen is so overdue that he'll have to be induced (all right I nicked that one off Ian Wright) and Viduka and Martins should cause problems for the Boro defence. Mind you, at times this season, an infant with a new-found ability to stand upright could have made Pog and Wheater look a tad uncertain.
With Duff at left-back they lack touchline-huggers - Victoria Beckham's got more width - but the barcodes have another thing undoubtedly in their favour: Boro's front three. You can't criticize any of Aliadiere, King, Tuncay or Alves for lack of effort. They're four of the most trying players I've ever watched.
But as the children's song goes 'Oh the Big Miss Comes From the Aliadiere, the Aliadiere, the Aliadiere!'... and I know training this week has involved Afonso Alves popping down to the local dairy farm at milking time with a banjo in his hand. (Word is, not one of the cows left the barn smarting from the experience.)
We'll be hoping the Turk goes berserk, mind, 'cos a goal from the rest of them would be asking too much. Perhaps Stu or O'Neil could grab one for us.
A Toon fan who dares to live down our way tells me he can foresee a goalless draw as it's a battle between two misfiring attacks. On the other hand, the defences have been pretty ropey 'n' all so it could equally be 5-5. There'll be chances, that's for sure.
I have a feeling that the neutral is behind the Boro too. We're a pretty pessimistic bunch on the whole. When Smiler was in charge and we went on that unbelievable run to the Uefa Cup final, there were still loads of my mates who were quick to assure anyone who'd listen that it'd all come to a juddering halt.
The fact that a final had to be reached before that happened was of little compensation to some. (By the way, barcodes, a 'final' is like the last game in a knockout competition - they were very big in the 90s down your way.)
Your neutral fan is hoping that the Toon soldier will get a bit of perspective following relegation. That the cult of the Revolving Door Messiah and Divine Right to the Top-Flight might be replaced by a little more of the 'ho, hum let's see if we can't get into the play-offs for next season'.
Despite the rivalry, I like the Geordies being in the Prem. It's an ongoing saga that Eastenders script editors would blanch at, and I'd rather it carried on its topsy-turvy way than sank without a trace. Thing is, they'll have to go down for us to stay up, so that sort of compassion can go burn in hell for now. 'Cos I'm convinced that whoever wins it will escape.
Even if the Baggies appeared to have signed Lazarus on loan, I think it's a tad late for them and Liverpool aren't going to let up anyway.
So though my throat tightens with anxiety and the smooth leatherette of my pub perch moistens at the very thought of it, still I bark out these three agonizing, recklessly positive words. For where there's life, there's hope...
Up the Boro! (We'll win 2-1)
I'm Derek Robson. People call me Robbo. Legend has it I was raised in the furnace and smog of Teesside. Some might say I took the hard road. I like to tell folk I had trials for Middlesbrough, for Hartlepool and for burglary (not guilty). I've always loved sport. My job is to say it as I see it - whether it's in the bar of the Blue Bell or on this blog. You won't find me calling a spade a soil-redistribution implement.
© MMIX~RS~q~RS~~RS~z~RS~16~RS~)
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Sorry, I have to disagree. 1-1 draw. Late late Newcastle penalty.
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I personally feel that Boro should stay in the prem instead of the (car)toons. This is a case of heart ruling over the head. I just think that for a change, nice guys should not finish last. Gibson and Southgate are decent blokes even if some of the team are not so serious about what is happening. (See the Wheater dance on YouTube).. Its a surefire way to banish your fears and laugh all the way in to the chmpionship.
I think a season in the championship should be good for newcastle to regroup and put a proper structure in place.
My bets for relegation: West Brom, Newcastle United & Hull
on another topic robbo .. i was looking forward to your comments on the pouting of the gelled tumbler this week.. im a united fan and i was ashamed. I guess, the match of the century tonight is keeping you busy !..
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i'm looking forward to tonight - good luck to both teams ... i'm really torn between wanting both Boro and Newcastle to stay up due to the size of the clubs etc - and then to thinking it will be funny if they go down....
prediction - 0-0 draw
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Good Blog as ever Robbo!
The Di Michele shuffle (right, left, dive!) LOL
Sadly for yourself Robbo i would have to say i think the match tonite is going to be a draw. If either yourselves or newcastle or going to save themselves from relegation i would back the Boro! Good riddance to Newcastle and West Broms mini revival will well and truely be halted on sunday when they will get a good hiding from the Reds! My prediction is the Boro saty up while West Brom, Newcastle and Hull will go down. Think you might settle for that result Robbo eh? lol
YNWA!
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also - why have you put a photo of the worlds biggest idiot towards the bottom of the article... i couldn't read the second half of your blog for the fact that i was caught staring at the grinning bafoon thinking of how i would like to run him over in my car....
please BBC can you remove the picture so i can read the blog....
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While I'm hoping we beat your lot tonight Robbo, I still think that it's a tragedy that all three North East clubs are in trouble. Deep down I just hope it's not a draw, so that at least one of us has a chance to get out of it.
Oh, and while fans of other clubs might not want to hear it, not every Newcastle fan has delusions of Grandeur. Just the idiots that Sky Sports News gives airtime too!
Honest!
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Good blog Robbo..... 'mon the Boro!!!!
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So poor Ronaldo wanted to stay on the pitch or perhaps it was his ball? He didn't need the sweatshirt he was steaming.
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Is it me or does the picture of McClown remind you of Jim Carey in that film, the mask?
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It's got bore draw written all over it
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I think Newcastle will get the 3 points tonite.The teams for relegation are HULL,MIDDLESBROUGH AND WESTBROM.
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Another great blog Robbo. Ronaldo and Drogba are sulkier than two 2 year olds who have had their milk taken away.
Tonight I hope Boro win and it's an exciting game, but I think it will be a boring and toothless 0-0 draw.
Hope I am wrong !!
Up The Boro!!
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Hope its a draw today so WBA have got a chance. For some reason I like them.
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boomshakalak
While McClaren may have failed with England, it's quite clear to see now though that what he did at Middlesbrough was pretty remarkable.
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I love the way 'Lazarus' is dragged up again and again at this time of year. Still makes me me laugh though!
As for Ronaldo and Drogba I doubt either of them will still be in the Premiership next season anyway. Good Riddance I say.
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Bartons tackle on Alonso kind of severed any "neutral" fondness for the Magpies current plight. At least they have a chance of winning something next year if they are in The Championship....not the Championship, just a few games. As for Boro? Twinned with Chelsea as far as I am concerned...i.e.no one really cares.
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Robbo, keep the faith. Until the arrival of the Messiah Moyes our bums annually squeaked like Joe Pasquale on helium.
The omens aren't great though. There's never been 3 teams that play in stripes dropping out of the top flight since the Premiership began - useless information thrown in for free.
I'm still banking on Baggies, Barcodes and Tigers fella.
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Always makes my day a bit brighter getting to read a decent down-to-earth, no-punches-witheld blog for a change.
I've stuck with the Toon for 13 years already (started supporting them when I was 11 and surrounded by Manchester United and Blackburn fans, back in the day when Blackburn were like Real Madrid without the glamour) so I'm not going to go switching allegiances if we get relegated. In fact I think it'll give us a nice breath of fresh air and a harsh slap in the face at the same time to snap us out of our pompous airs and graces. Plus can you imagine it? Next Saturday's fixture, Newcastle vs. Doncaster! Champion! Opposition more at our level!
Prediction for tonight is 0-0. But it would be nice to get a good game with a few goals... but I'm not banking on it.
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Cmon Boro Robbo, but sadly i think the Toon might just have enough to scrape past Boro. I just cant see you getting a goal even against them sadly!
Hull and the Toon deserve to go. The Toon because they are well past a joke and Hull becasue they have an ignorant,foolish and vain oaf in charge and players who rightly or wrongly said to him 'up yours' since the orange headed fool belittled them in front of 40000 in the stadium and TV viewers too.
West Brom don't deserve it. They have been true to the footballing principles of their Club, but just haven't been good enough, whilst retaining their dignity. Toon lost their dignity a long, long time ago. Boro still have theirs, but alas youre only slightly better equipped than WBA where it counts on the field of play.
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Toonights the night Robbo!B4 I get down to brass tacks-usual top notch blog as you didn´t get too carried away!talk about the match of the season.Sir Bobby might defend Fatshley,wonder if hes not on his lonesome though!poor finishers and dodgy defenders sums it all up really but 5-5?I hope the lads in black and white stripes pull through,could be administration otherwise according to rumours! - the Hull result was huge for both of us.Regardless of the outcome of the season your blog WILL be read by me and many others!keep em coming Robbo!
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Sorry Robbo, but the Neutral is pulling for Hull to stay up by the skin of their teeth.
Newcastle need to go down to be able to clear out the squad and start again. Only S Taylor, R Taylor, Carroll, Harper, Nolan and Bassong should be kept out of the current squad (though Bassong will leave probably). Coloccini, Jose Enrique, Cacapa, Barton, Martins, Owen, Duff, Guthrie, Smith, Gutierrez, Xisco, Geremi, Beye, Butt, Ameobi and Lovenkrands should all be shipped out ASAP.
Boro did their clearing out already but forgot to replace them.
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I stand to win money if Newcastle win.
Both teams have been woeful of late but Newcastle have probably edged it chance wise. Boro's strikers are terrible so I reckon Newcastle to win probably with a dodgy goal deflected in off Owen's knee. A little farewell present as it were...
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My heart says Newcastle to win purely cause I've got a lot of mates who support them so I've lended my own support on many occasions.
Head says Boro simply cause I believe they have more desire as a team (just!) and a more experienced manager. I say that because Shearer hasn't done much so far although I think he would have with more time, I don't really rate Dowie, and Southgate/Boro have been a bit unlucky in quite a few games this season leading to their form now. Newcastle have just been shoddy and the players just don't seem to care.
I know the derby factor comes into it (as well as the home advantage for Newcastle) but both teams are dire right now and I expect Boro to just edge it
Sorry to my Newcastle mates
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Come on Boro ('s defence), come on Newcastle ('s defence).......I'm praying for a nil-nil!
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training this week has involved Afonso Alves popping down to the local dairy farm at milking time with a banjo in his hand. (Word is, not one of the cows left the barn smarting from the experience.)
HAHA Brilliant.
Excellent as ever Robbo. All the best for tonight, make it a fascinating run in if you get 3 points tonight and fingers crossed that you do.
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If I had to choose who to support tonight, it would be Boro. Southgate's a likable character...and surely life wouldn't be so cruel that his two biggest legacies to the game become 'Euro 96 penalty misser' AND 'the manager who relegated his first club in charge'?
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5. boomshakalak: Sorry, I'm to blame for the McClaren picture. Robbo's out and about till five so won't be able to reply to any of you until then. He claims he's working but I reckon he's in the Blue Bell having a couple of liveners to calm his nerves.
12. LoveQPR: Me too!
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Newcastle fan in peace (probably in pieces by full time)
I personally think, if it not for the fact we'd probably "do a Leeds" relegation would do us good.
Get rid of all the overpaid slack and dump a load of the fickle fans... they'll probably go support Gateshead or Whitley Bay if we go down (10,000 WB fans at Wembley, the town only has a population of about 4,000...)
But... if we beat you, lose to Fulham and scrape past Villa
You can scrape past Villa and beat West Ham
Let the Mackem's get beat off Pompey and Chelsea and Hull can flop against Bolton and Man Utd - and we can both undeserevidly stop up...
Course... knowing our luck - Sunderland'll beat Chelsea and Hull'll beat Man Utd's Z-Team and we'll both end up going down anyway...
*Still* at least we'll have a Tyne-Tees Derby to look forward to next season! Every cloud...!
Good luck mate - I enjoy your blogs (even if they are a tad bias at times) and anyone who gets upset you're having a joke about their team takes football far more serious than it should be took - and probably should remove their cranium from their anus and get out more...
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I think Hull have saved Newcastle, home games v Middlesbrough and Fulham, only 4 points required as Hull wont win at Bolton, nor will Utd do them any favours, so goal difference to keep Newcastle up after a 2-0 win tonight.
I would prefer Newcastle to go down, it seems that Geordie fans are one of the problems in football. They are too loyal, dont do anything to harm the club is the motto (a fine sentiment) BUT that attitude allows those in charge to do exactlythat, those in charge at Newcastle typify the arrogance of those in charge generally in the EPL, they take the fan for granted, and why ? Because those fans insist that they MUST back the club whatever, there is keeping the faith, and there is being led up the garden path. Relegation might bring a dose of reality back to Tyneside.
Would also prefer Boro to stay up because their chairman is one of the few chairmen who still seems to have some semblance of dignity about him.
Mind you, as someone said the other day, there is a case for all teams below Stoke to be relegated because the standard has been so depressingly poor
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2 inept defences, 2 inept attacks.
They'd be better off having a game of 'supercars' top trumps.
It would be more interesting for the neutral spectator, and more chance of a winner.
Still, if the Magpies stay up, Mick Mcarthy wont be the manager with the worst points per game percentage in the premiership, assuming Shearer stays on.
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I hope that the Toon stay up. Purely because Shearer is a legend and Southgate is a complete numpty. I hope that the boro get relegated so the bloke with a nose as long and high as the grand canyon is deep gets sacked. just cause he missed that penalty. He cost me a chance of happiness so he should loose one also!!!
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I would love a Boro win tonight, but I just can't see it. Both teams have terrible defences, but offensively, at least Newcastle have players who can score. Neither team does deserve to survive and a draw, sending the pair of them down with West Brom, is the most deserving result. But Newcastle's strikers will, sadly, save the day. 2-0 Newcastle.
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Sorry Robbo, but the Neutral is pulling for Hull to stay up by the skin of their teeth.
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Not this neutral! Hull play the worst football I have ever seen in the top flight and in Phil Brown have one of the most arrogant managers in history!
Would love West Brom to stay up and HUll, Boro and Newcastle go down, but based on fixtures that aint going to happen. So in that case im cheering on the Boro and hope Shearer and Brown get what they deserve!
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Thanks Robbo! I was in stitches reading this (not to mention nearly choking on my lunch).
"Concerto for backsides and barstools"
"Danny "Dark Satanic" Mills"
"With Duff at left-back they lack touchline-huggers - Victoria Beckham's got more width - "
Fantastic!
Sadly, much as I'd love Boro to nick the win, I see it being the other way around.
Boro get off to a nervy start and Newcastle, urged on by the Geordie faithful, get an early lead. Boro start the second half the better and thanks to some laughable defending by the Magpies, Tuncay nets an equaliser.
Boro then hang on by their fingernails as the Barcodes come back at them, only to concede in the 4th minute of stoppage time.
I also expect there to be at least 1 penalty and a sending off.
Up the Boro (sounds fairly desperate to me too!)
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"Boro then hang on by their fingernails as the Barcodes come back at them, only to concede in the 4th minute of stoppage time."
I missed the words "a penalty" in that sentence...
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Sorry Robbo but I have a sneaking feeling that Newcastle will suddenly spring to life and I see them winning 3-1 or 3-0. I don't like (or dislike) either team although I would actually prefer 'boro to survive.
Why? For the simple reason that Newcastle have a long track record of hiring then firing managers for inexplicable reasons. (Just in case some stalwart attacks this statement, it is possible some have resigned but then you would have to ask, why?) Anyway, the outcome tonight does not guarantee anything for the winner, although I expect a draw or a loss *will* consign whoever to relegation or at the most "the misery of hope."
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Has anyone noticed how Steve Maclaren has taken a relatively mediochre dutch team en got them in the Champions league next season, aswell as into the Dutch cup final. not bad for a clown.
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Great blog again, Robbo,even though I'm on the opposite side of the fence.
Could I just say, though, that not all Newcastle fans are like the mindless ijits that get trotted out by the media every time yet another crisis rocks the club, or a new manager is appointed (every other week).
We are not all deluded into thinking we have a divine right to be in the Premiership, or that we should be an automatic top four club just because we have a good fan base.
The vast majority just want to see exciting attacking football from a team that wants to play for the love of the game and not just to increase their already inflated bank accounts.
Sorry, now I'm just bitter and twisted, HTL
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Great Blog and always brightens up my work day.
As a Man Utd fan, Manchester born, married to a Middlesborough fan, I will be sad to see any team from the North East go down, not just Boro. Apart from the fact we normally get guaranteed points from Newcastle and Sunderland and Boro mostly, the teams are supported by fans as fanatical as any in the Stretford End. So are the ones up the East Lancs road, but Mancunians are by nature non forgiving of Scousers. When Utd were relegated in the 70s we came back stronger, (eventually), and look where we are now.
I think Boro will win 2-1 but I hope Newcastle stay up, and give Utd a game next season.
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This should be some good game which could easily turn ugly at any time.
Possible, Boro might just just get away with something but watch out for that diminutive striker from Nigeria, he can be a handful sometimes
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I hope they both get relegated. Newcastle have had too much instability, that prat Barton should be shot and of all the people to get them to safety? - Alan Shearer with NO experience. Big Sam lead Blackburn out of trouble, and Newcastle want the same optimistically hoping morale will get them out.
Boro sing that stupid song before every match DUT DUT DUTT DUTT DUT DA DUHHH DUHH. Just shut up and go down and save my ears.
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...a bit torn, really - i quite like Shearer, and enjoy Martins play... but any team that employs serial hacks like Barton and Guthrie (still can't believe he wasn't banned for the year) can go take a walk, as far as i'm concerned.
and the notion that this lovely little bloggo could be no more, or merely less relevent due to Boro's banishment, is a bit depressing. but perhaps an insider's look into 2nd tier football would be rewarding - who knows?
ah, i'll go for a Boro 1-0, just out of good will, Robb'Boro.
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Dear Robbo
You must really be frightened to death to see your beloved Boro go down as there is no mention of Drogba and Ballack antics and Wenger predicamment. I was looking forward for you to have a field day.
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Not this neutral! Hull play the worst football I have ever seen in the top flight and in Phil Brown have one of the most arrogant managers in history!
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Kevthered
The worst football in the top flight you have seen? Obviously not been watching long..Watford, Sunderland (Under Mcarthy) Derby last year....
Would love to see Newcastle drop down a division just to see if the "best fans in the world" fill out the ground week in week out!
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There's that old Chinese tale, about the man who asks what happens when a spear that can't be stopped meets a shield that can't be pierced.
Tonight's game should provide the answer to the exact opposite of that - what happens when an attack(s) that can't beat anything meets a defence(s) that can't stop anything? That's the level this game is at - ancient philosophy! Unfortunately, with both teams likely being more worried about not losing rather than about winning, I see it being about as entertaining too...
If there is a winner, I can ~just~ see Newcastle edging it. It'd probably be a moment of luck rather than brilliance that swings the match, though.
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If Boro were playing anyone else tonight {including WBA or Hull} I reckon you wouldn't have a hope, but you are playing the toon who, in all honesty, are actually a worse side than your lot, you still won't win though because both teams are cack, it's got relegation certs written all over it mate. I'll still read your blogs though.
ps. I predicted on 606 after Hulls loss to Everton in January that they {Hull}, would pick up no more than 13 points in the remaining fixtures, they've only managed 10 since, I should of had a bet.
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33. At 1:50pm on 11 May 2009, kevthered83 wrote:
Sorry Robbo, but the Neutral is pulling for Hull to stay up by the skin of their teeth.
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Not this neutral! Hull play the worst football I have ever seen in the top flight and in Phil Brown have one of the most arrogant managers in history!
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I totally agree and hope that Hull go down.
I'm hoping for a decent game tonight as a neutral and hope whoever wins the game stays up.
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Good blog Robbo. I am surprised you didn't mention big John Hickton in the list of Boro greats
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Let's hope that the game doesn't become cagey tonight. Both teams will be fighting for their Premiership lives and I want them to show it with a good game. Fingers crossed :-)
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In an ideal world for me West Brom would stage a late comeback and stay in the Premier League at the expense of Hull, who get relegated along with Newcastle and Boro. As that's unlikely I suppose the next best solution would be Boro staying up at the expense of Hull, I'll basically be happy so long as Newcastle and Hull are relegated.
This is pure schadenfreude, I make no excuses for it, it's a great British pastime. I'd love to see Newcastle go down as I'm fed up of hearing about what a big club they are, fed up of them thinking they have some unique understanding with their club and fed up of hearing how the next ex-player manager is going to be a hero. They also add nothing to the League with their squad and style of play as it is. Hull I'd like to go down because Brown is too cocky for his own good and because they've done absolutely eff all since November or whenever it was. I'd love West Brom to make an epic comeback as I feel they've found their feet now and I appreciate their style but it's unlikely and if Boro stay up I'll be happy enough as I like their squad and their manager.
Those are my views, feel free to care as little as you like.
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One more thing- Hull will go down because there is NOTHING for them right now and West Brom will too. This is because I can't see them taking anything off Liverpool (better damn not) and Blackburn wil edge them. Never mind.
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I would think Hull given their first half season performance would have stayed up, I didn't see them as relegation candidates, yet Stoke seem to have done the job the right way. The reason Brown gave them a ball icking was because they already lost that great form. I think he was right.
Newcastle? Nough said, down and don't come back till you have perspective.
Boro, sorry for you mate, but I would be shocked if they escaped.
Brom, too little too late, and what ever happened to the mighty Wigan, they have fallen apart.
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"I have a feeling that the neutral is behind the Boro too."
Wishful thinking Robbo?
We've had some good old ding dong battles with Newcastle (when they used to be good), I'd be sorry to see them go. Can't say the same about Boro I'm afraid
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robbo - im still waiting for you to explain to me how Ryan Giggs could have played for the english?
we all know the answer - HE COULDNT. but you seemd so sure.
I await your response (again).
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Victoria Beckham's got more width
Top Class.
Only beaten by:
"I was sold a club that would challenge in the top half (of the Premier League) with a good chance of doing well in the cups," wailed Fabricio Coloccini this morning, explaining how he was persuaded to join Newcastle in August. Coloccini himself, though, was advertised at the time as a competent defender, so all's fair in love and transfer dealings"
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As A Boro fan i'd love to see us win 3-0 and get out of the relegation places tonight. However I feel that this game will be played like an Extra time period in the world cup when we still had Golden Goals. With both teams too scared to go forward.
I noticed a few Liverpool fans saying they were rooting for Newcastle because they've had better games against them over the years. It has nowt to do with us costing you the title at the riverside this season then??
Come on Boro!!!
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You mention nutters losing their heads (barton),i suspect that if newcastle go a goal down then alan smith and duff could easily lose their respective heads as they have both lost it in the past and both are overdue for a red card (assuming they play).
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Both gone with hull - west brom have the great escape again
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Half an hour after reading the article I'm still laughing!
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Robbo, great blog and I share your feelings. I'm a Boro fan currently working in the USA and I'm now trying to decide whether to sneakily watch the match on the net (6 hours behind here so it's during the working day) or not watch and leave it to prayer.
I have warned all of my workmates that come 4 O'clock (local time) they will either be the recipients of offers of free beer for weeks or they need to stay well away for the rest of my time here!!
I just have a feeling Alves is gonna come good today - 3-1 Boro!!
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@31 - yes Southgate missed the penalty but don't forget Shearer's elbow eliminating England from France '98 when Campbell scored.
It'd be great to see Newcastle to go down as a lesson to any idiot who thinks they can run a club by sacking a manager every week and appointing managers based upon who the bar is named after!
I'm not sure Middlesbrough should go down, but if it means Stewart Downing will never, ever play for England again I'll accept it!
Mourinho-in-his-own-mind Brown is one of the most arrogant managers ever to come into the Premiership, and at least Ferguson, Mourinho, Wenger etc. have the medals to prove their worth!
McClaren ain't looking so bad atm is he? OK, so his international management skills aren't great, but he had Boro in the UEFA Cup Final and he's taken FC20 into the Champions' League!
Of course, next season the relegated 3 ought to be Man U, Chelsea & Arsenal (with Liverpool 4th bottom), but hey, we can but dream...
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Robbo, top blog as usual!
As a thank you, I immortalised you on wikipedia:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lazarus#In_popular_culture
haha
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Robbo, top blog as usual!
As a thank you, I immortalised you on wikipedia:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lazarus#In_popular_culture
haha
Hopefully wikipedia doesnt take it down before you read it.
Anyways, in the section "In popular culture' of the article "Lazarus",
I added a bullet point. This is how it looks right now (look at the last point):
-----------------------------------------------
In popular culture
Well-known as an established tale, Lazarus has appeared countless times in music, writing and art.
* Among the painted depictions of Lazarus is the work Lazarus Breaking His Fast by Walter Sickert.
* Several bands have composed songs titled "Lazarus", including Chimaira, I Am Ghost, and Placebo.
* Lazarus is mentioned in several notable works of literature. A few prominent examples include Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoevsky, "The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock" by T. S. Eliot, the novels of Robert A. Heinlein, A Separate Peace by John Knowles, Moby-Dick by Herman Melville, A Canticle for Leibowitz by Walter M. Miller, Jr., and "Lady Lazarus", a poem written by Sylvia Plath.
* Lazarus is also referenced in other media, including the movie Casper, the television series The X-Files ("Lazarus"), Doctor Who (The Lazarus Experiment), and the Batman comic books.
* On 11 May 2009, BBC Sport blogger Derek "Robbo" Robson referenced Lazarus in a blog where he reflected on relegation issues in the English Premier League, referring to a possible, but improbable, escape for West Bromwich Albion from the jaws of relegation (to the Championship) for the West Midlands football club.[22]
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"in the Blue Bell on Monday night" - Get down there and give em some stick!! They can't hear what you shout at the screen in the pub!!
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#63
I can't thank you enough for having my name appear on what is after all the most reliable and informative website on the net.
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Have to agree that if we do go down I'd love the Baggies to make an epic escape too... just don't see it meself.
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Robbo
Commiseration on your plight, but you are wrong - the neutrals want the Baggies to prevail.
On a positive note I think you can do it and win by a single goal. If you do ''it'', it could be decided by goal diff/golas scored and Hell City have an 'extra' point in this regard (more goals/better diff). But you know all this anyway, I bet you have shredded tha analysis like DNA strands. It could come down again to how many goals Man Utd under 21's (1st choice 11 having won the league by the last game) beat Hell City by. On balance I hope you stay up. If only because Asley and Barton and Owen are so yesterday.
Good Luck.
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Decent blog as usual Robbo but as an Hull City supporter of 40 years standing, surprised at your lazy journalism regarding our demise since PBs on the pitch 'team talk' at Eastlands on Boxing Day.
Factor in Jimmy Bullards knee injury, Anthony Gardner's broken back and our decison not to replace bad boy Marlon King in the January transfer window and you would be nearer the mark.
As for kevthered83 an GUNN3ER71 views that 'Hull play the worst football I have ever seen in tdhe top flight' - I would suggest they look at the records of Derby and Sunderland in recent years but in the Arsenal's supporters view of us I don't suppose that has anything to do with the Fabregas incident has it or the fact the we beat their lot at the Emirates early on in the campaign has it?
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Youre welcome robbo.
Their moderators have taken it down though.
Sad.
But yes, i'd love to see the baggies stay up... again!
It would be, undoubtedly, epic. Mowbray is a top man who has stuck to his philosophy and its the least he deserves.
It has been nice to see none of the promoted 3 have had to sack their managers this season, when theyre often gone by Christmas thanks to their bosses' knees jerking.
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Hi Robo,
I'm from Syria and i want Newcastle to survive by thrashing your Boro side tonight!
It's a disgrace for a club like Newcastle with such passionate, noisy fans and a breath-taking stadium to get relegated, because simply i feel that they have the same passion for the game the kopites hold!
And because they'll face your pathetic side(despite beating Liverpool)
Toon 4-1 Boro, MARK MY WORDS, come on Owen!!!
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Newcastle United - The graveyard club for all once strong players and managers to become rubbish overnight. Cannot wait for them to go down to a league where most of the clubs have still won more than the so-called 'big' club.
Shearer is a headline snatching, money grabbing, uncharasmatic cameo who has done nothing since taking over. No club in the world (other than the all heart no brains NUFC) would offer a 3 yr contract to someone who's done nothing since arriving. Big Sam must be very smug with his Blackburn side right now....
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4-4 anyone?
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Robbo top blog again, makes the beginning of the week a little easier with your gem to read.
Unfortunately as a magpie myself I'm hoping for three points for us tonight, I want it to be a pulsating frantic derby match, full of end-to-end football but..realistically I can see it being a boring scrappy 0-0 bereft of any quality at all!
I think this season has given the club the wake-up call we need, the clearing out will start in the summer & as of next year we will be taking strides forward (whether from the Prem or Championship). Not all fans are deluded - we have been dire this year and deserve to drop, but it doesn't mean I want us to at all!
Howay the lads!
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How nice it is that the Boro boys and the Barcodes can have a civilised mutual commiserations session before such a massive game, eh? United and 'Pool fans take note!
Now come on the Boro, let's whip the hides off them work-shy, self-deluded, bottling Toonsters. Sigh - sometimes you just can't help yourself.
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Great blog, as always! Good luck, Robbo!
No matter what happens, you will still support your team. Likewise, no matter what happens we will keep reading and enjoying your blogs!
Maybe we will get to hear more funny stuff about the Championship! ;-)
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haha Robo
it's 2-1 for the barcods
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Breaking News:
Boro are sinking!!!
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Is the information that fills in the blanks available?
For example my vision of trying to start an enviromental technologies
business (98) and stuff like the broken limb, co-op job in europe
during 9/11, already famous, (I dazzle like movie "21") that obtained
this position.
Hey I control the interest rate. I did put the oil to $147, then $40,
not $200 -it was a choice I made.
Kristina Brooker (126 395 086)
-functions are shapes, what do the shapes say to do for safety.
-I don't understand talking that way.
-takes a year or two, maybe less with the computer.
What to expect?
-an engineer (99386493 - U of Waterloo) would say...
The graph of the fuctions indicates all expectations.
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Sorry Robbo, the fat lady's sung the last verse - probably watched by another billion people on You Tube!
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They reckon that Susan Boyle's never been kissed, but Fellaini looks like the result of her drunken weekend in Bruges with Hercule Poirot.
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***!???@fff&&^^@!?/!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Oh dear Robbo... I'm afraid that is that.
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Poor Robbo! Tell me: have the tears come yet?
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The bum has squeaked it's last squeak.
That'll be Never then ?
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I look at you all see the lovenkrad there that's kicking
While my Robbo gently weeps
I look at the floor and I see it need sweeping
Still my Robbo gently weeps
I don't know why nobody told you
how to unfold you love
I don't know how someone controlled you
they bought and sold you
I look at the world and I notice it's turning
While my Robbo gently weeps
With every mistake we must surely be learning (but are we?)
Still my Robbo gently weeps
I don't know how you were diverted
you were perverted too
I don't know how you were inverted
no one alerted you
I look at you all see the lovenkrad there that's kicking
While my Robbo gently weeps
I look at you all
Still my Robbo gently weeps
Oh, oh, oh
oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
oh oh, oh oh, oh oh
Yeah yeah yeah yeah
yeah yeah yeah yeah
I am sorry for Boro and Robbo. I really am.
p.s. apologies all around for the shoddy effort at nicking from the Beatles.
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So are you going to be blogging on the Championship next season Robbo?
I've said from the start of the season that Boro's problem starts with the letter "G" and ends with "ARETH SOUTHGATE". I'm sure he's a top bloke and loves the club to death, but take a look at him Robbo! He looks like he's going to burst into tears. About as intimidating as a wet hankie.
The only reason I wanted the Boro to stay up more than the bar codes is that I don't want to be put through the pain of hearing how their "messiah" saved them from the drop. You can bet one of McNulty or Fletcher will turn in some garbage about how the heroic Shearer managed to turn their season around. Someone pass me a bucket.
Ah well. Que sera sera, whatever will be, you're going to Swansea / Barnsley / Derby and maybe even Burnley, etc.
It was good to see Dukes put in a top performance against you lot. The bloke's a legend.
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Well, Boro can now move to the championship to play their kind, good riddance.
Robbo, are you moving over to some other media near the blue bell in solidarity with your team
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I think we should lay off Robbo. His silence is indicative of his deep pain. I feel for you, Robbo. Its a very painful pill to swallow. But that's football for you. It can be sweet, yet cruel. Take heart, sir. Things can only get better.
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it saddens me that all three NE teams are in trouble, I want us all to stay up. really wanted a draw last night though, I don't want to have to go into the chelsea game needing something.
think thats it for the smogs now though robbo. there hasn't been the fight or the skill all season i'm afraid, and i think n*******e will probably scrape through like they usually do so the mindless section of the toon support can keep crowing about being the best club in the land.
was looking forward to a North East 1-2-3 in the championship next season n'all
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Looks like you're going down then... Shame, I really would have like Boro to stay up. As yourself and others have said, the Chumpionship would have been good for Newcastle, reliveing them of their high horses for a year.
Assuming you lot do go down, I hope you keep Southgate. I like him and have no doubt that he'll bring you straight back up again.
But it's not over yet...
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"Things can only get better". Not if they do a Southampton.
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Gutted
Absolutely Gutted for you Robbo, and all the other boro fans out there!
Comical own goal, met with 6 minutes of constant laughter, and then it all went wrong!!
I suppose that you can bank on Hull firing blanks until the end of the campaign, but what odds that the barcodes carry on winning!
To be fair to Shearer though, dropping thug Barton and Collocini (hair like columbia's Valderrama, anyone??) was nothing short of a masterstroke, but WHY leave Martins on the bench?
By far their most dangerous player!
Oh well, catch you down Selhurst way next year mate, i am already looking forward to blogs on the highs and lows of a championship season!
Far more exciting than hearing about how many times Drogba falls over, or how many times Ronaldo cries after being subbed!!
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"but WHY leave Martins on the bench?
By far their most dangerous player!"
Does his 55 second goal not answer your question? haha
Don't worry Robbo, by the looks of it us Tigers are coming down with you!
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Thanks lads for being more than sparing in your derision... it is much appreciated. Boro's season encapsulated in ninety minutes... some pretty passing, some desperate panicking every time they lobbed the ball in the box... and some toothless no-marks up front doing nowt when an opportunity did crop up... (sadly the lad Emnes - first Prem start of the season - looked like the best forward we've had in the first 45 minutes).
To be honest I'm not all that gutted cos we saw it coming oooh... about three moths ago. I still think we can drag the barcodes down with us. Up the Baggies!
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Btw The Spitfire, the beatles can pretty well cover everything I'm feeling... Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away, now it looks as though [THE WRITER HAS BROKEN OFF HERE TO SEEK OUT SOME MANSIZE TISSUES]
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Robbo... this is a pain all to familliar to us fans of the lower tiers of the football league... All i would do is remind you its not quite over yet and that it is a funny old game (sorry for the Cliches, but if any time ever warrants thier use?).
Anyways, fingers crossed you bring Newcastle down with you, seeing Shearer branded as "brave" first thing this morning on the beeb website almost brought me cornflakes up...
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Hang in there Robbo. The fuller-figured lady may be tuning up, but she hasn't starting wailing yet (so don't you start either!)
Slim chance yes but your last two fixtures could be worse.
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I'm touched by your attempts to pull me back up the precipice on soem cotton threads of optimism. The fat lady may not be singing but the sound of her clearing her throat is downright deafening. Quite right #96! I'll be having words about the use of the word 'brave' to describe big Al. Bleeding desperate more like given Owen's non-appearance. You don't keep a dead-slow has-been on the park when you need a goal.
I can remember McClaren being called 'brave' when Boro needed to score four in ahome leg in the Uefa Cup so he played out and out 4-2-4. What the hell else was he supposed to do? Still old Smiler is looking like a pigging genius right now.
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Looks like never mate!
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I think you need to have a word with Phil McNulty then Robbo - His blog is all about 'Brave' Shearer!!
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