Oh no! It's Kevinsgate!
Well that didn't take long, did it? Came in like a breath of fresh air, went out like a bad smell.
Remember that massive movie flop called Heaven's Gate. How long before they make KevinsGate and make all their money back?
What is it with Kevin Pietersen? I'm all for confidence but did he have to go and try and switch-hit Peter Moores - England cricket's Steve McClaren - out of a job? Couldn't he have nurdled him down to cow corner where Moores's buddy, Hugh Morris, could have consoled the bloke?
Michael Schumacher had a fair say on who his whipping boy was - if you drove in the same team as him you were number two (and sometimes it looked like he treated you like you were a number two 'n all) - but I don't know any sport where a team captain gets to tell his employers who the coach should be.
There's been intimations about the power of the players when Sven was in charge of the England team but, that feeble effort by Becks to be a footy quarter-back aside, Sven picked the team and the squad (not even Rio would have thought Crouch, a wounded Wazza, a dodgy Owen and a lad who managed to find cover for his paper-boy round was the best choice for the front players for Germany '06).
Pietersen may well have had good grounds for his grievances about Moores's style. Moores is not exactly a legend in the game (unlike KP who is already a legend in his own lunchtime).
On the other hand everyone seems to have grounds for their grievances against the skipper.
My little grandson Wilf has a few pals he brings around from time to time and the ones that are from posh stock have parents who let them get away with blinking murder. One tantrum and they get a bag of sweets. They're not stupid these nippers, so it's non-stop stropping.
Looks like it must have been the same with baby Kev. You just wonder how many times, as he learnt his trade in that hotbed of English cricket, Pietermaritzburg, that the little Kevin sneered at the other kids, scooped up his bat, his ball and his stumps and tottered back home, stopping only to have his barnet restyled on the way.
No wonder it appears that not everyone in the dressing-room was 100% behind him. I'd be amazed if he bothered to ask.
The ECB were right to get shot of both KP and Moores, but why didn't they call an end to the civil war before this point was reached, people might ask? Perhaps they reasonably thought that no one in their right minds would go and tell the papers about it.
Nah. This is KP's fault and it's a shame cos as a skipper he had his strengths, not least the fact that he managed to get the full squad out to India following the Mumbai atrocities. All the players deserve credit for that, especially given the well dubious reasons for some previous English cricket tours to other places beset by political problems and violence.
KP's relentless positivity was refreshing, although it's not very English to just accentuate the positive all the bloody time. I wonder how much gallows humour was permitted in the dressing-room during that one-day thumping when Yuvraj was increasing the wealth of the average Indian citizen by sending them free cricket balls every five minutes.
Strauss'll do fine as captain though. He did last time and should've been skipper for the last Ashes catastrophe. He's got the well-bred chin of a chap who knows when to keep it buttoned. He's a safe pair of hands - except when he's at first slip.
I'm sure he'll consult Kevin as and when he needs to: batting tips for example, as KP's probably a slightly better left-hander than him!
As Aggers has said it'll be a funny old atmosphere in there during the Windies tour, but I think it might work in England's favour. Pietersen will want to spend as much time in the middle so expect some massive hundreds - that's how Sir Geoffrey used to deal with problems.
Meanwhile, England need a new coach. Everyone's mentioning Moody - but I thought he just resigned the captaincy, ho-ho. Ah, but that was Mean'n Moody, you mean Tom Moody, right? The bloke who should've been asked in the first place, except there was a whiff of the old boys network back in play so Moores was the Merrier.
Can we really expect an Aussie to support our boys through an Ashes series? Hell, why not? Get Troy Cooley back too, maybe Warney'll help where Mushy leaves off with our spinners. Actually that Stuart Law fella could replace Bell, and let's give Pattinson another fling. Surrounding that Saffer with Aussies and it might shut him up a bit.
Whatever the problems with KP, and he's proved that when it comes to captaincy material he's right up there with Ahab, he's the best batter out there, and, more fortunately, he's batting for England.
Let's hope he can take it out on the Windies in two weeks time.