Haka-attack!
Right that's that then. Next time you're down the local shops and you come across a bunch of big Kiwis doing a haka, no staring OK?
According to Graham Henry, staring's just disrespectful, in which case I disrespected me telly for three hours last night. It could be worse, mate. You could turn your backs on it, drop your shorts to it, possibly even Didier Drogba it by pelting it with coins...
Frankly any time the opposition responds in any way to the haka, there's this uppity reaction from the New Zealanders. Now I understand the tradition argument. They've been doing it for years so let 'em get on with it. But clearly there's more to it than that.
There's an attempt to dominate the pitch, wind themselves up and intimidate the opposition. It's great entertainment but I don't see why their opponents have to doff their caps and go scurrying back between their own posts until the big lunks from the Land of the Long White Cloud have finished shouting at them.
To my mind, there's two ways to approach this issue. One, ignore it completely (which is also insulting, apparently). Two, give 'em some of their own medicine. It's not as if the rugby-playing nations of the world aren't stuffed full of their own traditions that might help counteract any benefit from the haka.
English rugby players seem to be quite good at the old mincing when you look at Dawson and Healy on Strictly, and I've been saying for nigh on 10 years now that an aggressive Morris dance (no ribbons but a lot of big sticks and a big wicker man) should do the trick.
They could finish the dance by asking the Antipodeans the question a lot of Englishmen ask their colonial cousins: "Can I have two pints of bitter and a bag of pork scratchings please?"
The Scots are underplaying their traditions too. I think if they added another three verses to Flower of Scotland and had some piper drone it out for a good 15 minutes the All Blacks would be left somewhere between despair and a coma and you could run in two tries before the poor devils had shaken themselves out of their torpor.
The Welsh can do a lot better than just stare. Make them sit through a full Eisteddfod complete with a guest performance by that bird Katherine Jenkins (easy on the eye, hard on the ear) and the All Blacks will be jelly by kick-off.
And wait! Who's that lining up at centre alongside Brian O'Driscoll? It's only Michael bleeding Flatley... and by God if that isn't the first XV doing a Riverdance special while Eddie O'Sullivan plays the fiddle and Keith Wood gets the black stuff in for the All Black front five.
Other countries will have more creative ways than us home nations, you can be sure of that. The French will pave the halfway line and pull out some tables and chairs and sit there puffing on their Gitanes and sipping their café au laits and countering the hollering with a moustachioed accordionist. Or come to think of it they could go for the ultimate all-out insult and look the All Blacks in the face and do some hardcore mime.
There'll be tangoing Argentines, a full-blown Rigoletto from the Italians, the Japanese can host a massive endurance quiz (complete once again with three hours of bagpipes)... I mean frankly we're all missing out on a treat and a half.
Now I'm not saying the haka shouldn't be done, although I'm not sure about the one they did against South Africa a while back - which ended with a slitting your throat gesture - was particularly pleasant. Still that version is rarer than a banker's apology so I won't harp on about it.
However I'm never quite sure whether it helps the All Blacks or not. It looks pretty terrifying when 18-stone blokes with thighs the circumference of a hula hoop (the 50s craze, not the crisps) start bawling at you with their eyes staring like Maradona, 1994 style.
But it seems to me the team is so weighed down by all this tradition that sometimes they bottle it, particularly at World Cups. I'm no expert but at their best NZ make rugby union very watchable, which is a blinking triumph in itself.
But then again they've only won the Webb Ellis Trophy once despite being the best team going into every competition. So summat's up. The next tournament is on their own patch and given their capacity to crack under pressure, perhaps they should drop the haka in favour of some less oppressive pre-match routine.
Perhaps a sheep-shearing demonstration and a top recipe for New Zealand lamb would do the trick. Or some brains-for-mush Kiwis could bungee jump from off the top of the goalposts. Just a thought.
The haka is a spectacle in itself, that's for sure, but can Henry and so on stop whining about how teams react to it and if they feel narked then maybe they could use that as fuel to drub the opposition (which is pretty much what happened in Cardiff any road.)
In the meantime, it doesn't matter what they do before the whistle at Twickers - they could sashay on sideways and do an All Black Swan Lake and they'd still win by 40 points.
I'm Derek Robson. People call me Robbo. Legend has it I was raised in the furnace and smog of Teesside. Some might say I took the hard road. I like to tell folk I had trials for Middlesbrough, for Hartlepool and for burglary (not guilty). I've always loved sport. My job is to say it as I see it - whether it's in the bar of the Blue Bell or on this blog. You won't find me calling a spade a soil-redistribution implement.
© MMIX~RS~q~RS~~RS~z~RS~57~RS~)
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I think Pompey will get beat, son. But only by the odd goal. 2-1 to Milan. That tip's guaranteed you a victory.
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Nice Blog Robbo, love the bit about the French paving the half way line, lovely. But no mention of the Blue Bell or the missus?
tut tut
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I agree that the haka is incredible to watch and it has its place in the sport but to whinge when a team does not 'respect' it properly is just stupid. Graham Henry sounds like a spoilt kid who didnt get something exactly his own way.
Robbo I love reading your blogs but do you have to fill so much space with your lists of stereotypes? its begining to become a regular feature.
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Absolutely hillarious peace robbo. I thoroughly enjoy reading your pieces every time.
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racist towards the scots?and flower of scotland is about what exactly?
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If the All Blacks want to do their Haka, then other teams are well within their right to stand up to them and show they aren't intimidated by it. As the bloke says, it's a war dance; perhaps they should think about that before whinging about the response of other teams to it. Here's hoping the England boys stand up to the dancing with unflinching stares, in the end it's not going to make a difference to the result.
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Richie McCaw said on NZ TV that he thought the Welsh reaction was great. Most NZers do.
As long as it doesn't go for to long then great!
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"I'm no expert but at their best NZ make rugby union very watchable, which is a blinking triumph in itself." - Shocking Robbo, if your not into your rugby, don't write a blog on it. Some funny stuff tho...
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Katherine Jenkins is hard on the ears if your speakers are useless.
I do agree with you that it's a bit tedious the Kiwis complaining about teams' differing responses to the Haka, surely it is there to be responded to? And surely the team responding to it has the right to respond to it however they see fit, as they are being subjected to a culture that is more often than not (when I say that I'm allowing for Kiwis who are representing a country apart from NZ) foreign to their own, so why can't they subject some of their own culture on the All Blacks?
I have nothing against the Haka in and of itself, it's just the coaches and politicians making a fuss about it which I object to. And that's probably what has happened, it is Graham Henry trying to stir the pot abit, he knows that NZ got off to a bad start against Wales, and he doesnt want it to happen again, because if England can get some momentum in this game then they might actually be able to carry it thru the rest of the whole 80 in a way that Wales didnt. Henry can't take that chance.
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3 points:
* Not original
* Not funny
* Not original.
I realise that technically that's only 2 points, but the lack of originality is definitely worth mentioning twice.
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I think the England boys should get out the pom poms and give us a full monty cheerleading exibition during the Haka.
They did it all game last week against the boks minus the props (by props i mean the pom poms but admittedly it did look like we were missing 2/3 of the front row at the breakdown!)
Seriously from now on if i were playing for a team against the All Blacks i would think of ways to offend the Haka from lying down and pretending to sleep to bending over and tying my shoes laces so they have to chant at my backside.
They could go as far as the scots did in Braveheart and expose their buttocks followed by sychronised slapping of cheeks.
But on second thoughts why would you want to wind up a Human Wall just minutes before they are allowed to batter the hell out of you. It would be like telling Tyson you slept with his granddaughter live on radio before a boxing match.
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Why can't we just let them get on with it and just respect it for what it is to most of us, Entertainment.
If people start to wind them up and get to them by disrupting it then they will just revert to what they did here in Cardiff a couple of years ago and do it in the chainging rooms meaning the Fans won't get to experience it. Its one of the great parts of the day when any team are playing the Allblacks.
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The New Zealand lads have been upset for the past few weeks, not only in Union. During the League WC, our boys completely ignored them and the Kiwi's whinged like mad for the next few days.
If they want to perform a caveman-sounding, stick-out tongue, walk like you have cement on your feet 'dance', then be my guest, just don't expect the rest of us to seem interested.
It is a great spectacle for the fans though.
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Not racist to the Scots Villains_are_Angels; just a tad xenophobic like all the classic national anthems out there! Personally I thought it was great theatre and everything has subsequently been blown out of all proportion and taken far too seriously.
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Totally agree with Medieval-Evil's comment.
Love the haka, but it's a war dance. Why should other teams have to sit by and just take it? Show respect, but All Blacks - understand that if you issue a challange - other teams are well within their rights to answer it.
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In the RL World Cup, NZ played England in the group game. England turned their backs on the haka - NZ won.
In the semi-final, England watched the haka - NZ won.
In the final, the Kangaroos marched up to the haka and tried to face it down impassively.
Guess what? NZ won.
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Bloody kiwis are always harping on about the haka. The only way to take it is to respnd otherwise they get a massive psychological advantage. I thought what Wales did was great.
On the contrary cockneywire France faced down the haka in 2007 and won, so maybe there is something in it.
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NZrepublican - Any RU World Cups recently?
;op
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Ok NZrepublican, maybe next time we should invite a thousand welsh archers, wait for the haka, duck and then fire upon your "warriors". Game over. Now that will give king henry something to whinge about!!!
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Typical, English media and the people of these shores....try to distract from the real thruth and admit that they stand to get taught a rugby lesson again by the All Blacks, I find it unfortunate that everytime New Zealand are in the UK, the only thing that seems to crop up is the Haka, because the media try to hide form the fact that they can't play rugby (bar 2003 fair dues). New Zealand has a culture and a strong heritage, it's not like New Zealand have just decided to perform the Haka over the last few years, it's a tradition older than most people on the planet. Typical of the English sporting ethos you think you deserve better from your sports team. Overhyped and fail time after time, one again your just clutching at straws to try and gain some sort of edge heading into the game knowing full well if you poke a stick at a dog it will bite. When you look at your own culture and traditions then you can talk. Oh know that's right if you haven't sold it your thinkning about it, it all really pathetic really.
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NZrepublican,
Get lost.
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'If fifteen men danced like that round ours on a Saturday Night they'd get seven 'bells' whacked out of them.
War Dance? Get a grip girls and stop prancing like a bunch of woofters :)'
These are 15 rugby players, not football players. They would perform the Haka, drink you under the table and then beat sevens bells out of you.
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this whole thing about the haka is just a beat up by the media. It really is not an issue for the team, they just answer the questions put to them by the journos who keep bringing it up. The latest round of debate over the haka was started by a columnist for the guardian who openly insulted it and called for its demise.
Honestly! it really is not a big deal, just let them do the haka and get on with the bloody game.
Tho I will say - The way a team responds to the challenge say as a lot about the psyche of the team, do you turn your back on a challenge or do you face up to it like a man?? think about it
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I recognise the use of stereotypes in here but to be fair Englishmen doing the morris dance would be just crap and that the All Blacks will give the England boys - and boys a lot of them are - a right hiding on Saturday. That said, they'll still bottle the WC on home soil, much like the Kangaroos did in RL.
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Robbo your an idoit who knows nothing about New Zealand, the Allblacks or Rugby. Stick to what you know, which quite frankly appears to be sweet f.a. What a clown and a disgrace to his country.
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Oh dear NZpublican,
you really fell for it didn't you ?
We entice you over here with a few measly baubles, ripping you from the bosom of your beautiful homeland in order to spend your best days in a grey and dismal land, doing the work we can't be bothered to do ourselves. Hahaha
Slavery is dead, but there's always the antipodeans to do our chores for us.
When you are old and grey, you won't care about the few quid you earned, just the time you wasted trying to keep dry and warm, when you could have been in NZ in the sun with a beautiful girl and a beautiful lanscape.
So you're going home now ? Ah well, there's sure to be another anzac mug to replace you. hahahaha
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hahahaha few measley baubles, i don't work in no pub matey mate, i earn enough cash here in a year than i would make in 3 in Paradise
and i ain't going home either, i'm just being transfered to europe, but yes, i am still taking the good ol' pound
my bird is hot anyway (good russian lass)
i take vacation in southern italy
and when i return home in 5 years at the age of 30 i will be able to retire, unlike you chumps who will be stuck here forever!!!
hahahahahahahahaha
i love my life!
and cheers for my retirement!
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funny thing is we have somewhere fantastic to return to, you lot have here to return to
now you know why the british empire was so great, they were all looking for new homelands, and once they had enough people in those lands, they became independent, and stopped anymore of you lot from being able to come!!!
hahaha i come from paradise and shall return there!
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I think the haka is a fantastic spectacle and hope it continues. I also think that as a war dance teams are entitled to accept the challenge without being seen as disrepectful. Hopefully they then can back it up on the field
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What was really wrong with staring back ? Is accepting the challege they obvously laying down an insult ?
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I am a Scot, I live in England. I always support Scotland against England, but then England against anyone else. I find Scots who support anyone against England a bit dull, like they have not grown up yet, and Kiwis who bang that really boring winging pom thing, they are the same, Kiwis and Aussies are great, the Brits actually love them, but there is something 'wee man' about the Scot, the Kiwi, or the Ausssie, who just boringly barracks the English cos they're there.....and a big boy/girl on the world.
Grow up a bit everybody, beating the English is great, but they are not generally whingers, nor lots of other things, it is our own self of inadequacy we show when we just ....whinge at them, and why feel that if you are an Aussie, a Kiwi, or a Scot? It's the one thing you are not.
PS, I like the idea of combat Morris Dancing to respond to the Haka, and indeed combat SCD, about time the Kiwis stopped winning the psycho prep game under the slightly clever yet deceitful pretence of tradition - we all know what you are up to guys.
OK, that should be a good maiden speech....
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THIS IS JUST A WIND UP AU REVOIR JE VOUS AIME MES ROSBEEFS!
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NZrepublican,
Is that the best youve got . Most Kiwis I know are intelligent and articulate.
Your rugby team look great at the moment but we are not playing for the world cup at this time, (we know what happens then).
Ps
I do not support England , Im Irish and we were awful in the recent games.
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ok something intelligent, as i am trying not to be retarded but this whole computer wind-up business was fun for a few moments, now back to real stuff
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real stuff
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The haka is an essential part of Maori culture even to this day, since maori people were still a race heavily involved in war up until the end of WW2 (most of the Maori men in those days wanted to fight as the opportunity to be a warrior was and still is essential to maori culture, even if it is in more of a non-violent way)
it is now a tradition of the AB's especially when a significant amount of Maori influence is involved in the squad
to be honest i think the media hypes these things up more than they are, and we sheep generally follow what the idiots who never played rugby write (LIKE ROBBO!)
to be honest from a kiwi point of view, NZ played pretty poorly (by our standards) in all the games except the 2nd half of the wales game
to be honest if your a professional rugby player you shouldn't be effected by the HAKA, and you lot have the home crowd anyway, and South Africa didn't do the HAKA and they whipped you guys
anyway NZ, AUS, and SAF aren't playing at our best (due to overtiredness)
so you lot have alot to work on
(especially speed at the break downs)
Tobby Flood is much better than Cipriani (who i think they want to become some kind of David Beckham of Rugby)
Good luck, but the Writing is on the wall
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I am surprised any team playing NZ ever watches the haka, I'd be inclined to throw the ball about and let them get on with looking ridiculous.
Anyway, thankfully Cipriani is out the team - he needs to learn how to be a fly-half before he gets picked to start an international at 10 again.
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I'm English and live in Wellington NZ.
Repatranised pacific islanders (Fiji etc) are not maori.
And as for doing the Haka all over the shop the simple answer is this tell them to do it in the changing rooms before they come out to play. Last i heard the home team has to give permission to do the Haka on the pitch anyway the problem with that it looks like sours grapes if you dont let them do it and the croud expect to see and NZ spit out there dummies.
Look at it like i do, they choke and keep choking at the WC long may it continue and yes i do expect us to get stuffed at the weekend Haka or not.
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Katherine Jenkins is very hard on the ear. Her voice reminds me of an electric tin opener with a wobble. I am Welsh and love singing but am fed up of people saying how marvellous she is.
I thought Wale's response to the Haka was brilliant. I was at the Wales v NZ match in 1963 and this was Wales best response.
If Mc Caw had been yellow carded when killing the ball before half time on his own line it might have been different.
England are not as far away as people think, but I dont think they will beat NZ.
I hope Wales have enough left to play as they did in the first half versus NZ, then they will win on Saturday.
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I appreciate that turning your backs would be disrespectful, but just standing there. What's wrong with that? Good on Wales for showing their response to the Haka.
Its a competition and a battle for god's sake, they are supposed to show defiance to the All Black war dance. What do the moaners think they should have done? turned round, bent over, and prepared for a beating?!
It really annoys me that some players said they were upset, or annoyed about Wales' response. Yes its a tradition, but teams should be able to react however they want. Those who complained are just being arrogant, and petty. Speak up next time you win a world cup...chokers.
I think the england team's equivalent of the Haka could be eating a pork pie, and downing a pint of bitter.
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All of a sudden when Southern Hemisphere teams are in the ascendency, the Northern Hemisphere teams complain about something else. Let them do the Haka, give the respect it desrves as its a cultural tradition. I have seen teams turn their backs on the haka and get absolutely slaughtered in the match. It says something about the professionalism of teams who are intimidated by the haka...
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superblue32 what an absolute disgrace you are!
Those Anzacs fought alongside our lads to keep this part of the world free from nazism and tyranny.
Quite frankly youre a muppet!
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Ok First off I think the Haka is LAME! It's just like american footballer dancing after a touchdown. (which has been outlawed). The haka is not part of the game, it was then each team would have there own version of it. If the New Zealand team wants to dance around and stick out there tongues fine! But, it's a what there tribes did before going into battle right? So, why can't the English do what they would do facing New Zealand Warriors.... Just shoot them before they start throwing spears.
The haka is stupid! It's grand standing! I can respect a team for it's performance on the pitch! Not there dancing! If other teams are getting in trouble for reacting to the Haka , the answer is simple.
BAN THE HAKA! Problems Solved.
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Great blog, Robbo. I absolutely agree with what you said. The Haka is nowadays taken for granted as tradition and a real spectacle, but if something like that were to be introduced to football or cricket, it would simply be strange.
The Welsh (or any other opponents) should be allowed to respond in whichever way they wish. The Haka in itself gives the ABs an "unfair" advantage since they get to legally intimidate the opposition while the opposition does not have anything in response. Bring on the Morris Dance!
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Mods: What is the justification of removing my comment?
It was VERY mild compared to what you have allowed NZrepublican to get away with.
Are you kiwis?
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I thought it was great and Wale's cold eyed stare technique looked far more intimidating than a bunch of big blokes in shorts poncing about in a manner which has more than a touch of the homo-erotic about it.
Grow up NZ and stop being a bunch of whingers.
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i dont understand why teams stand for watchig the kiwi's doing the haka.
why not just go into your own half, do some excersise, and let them sing their little song to themselves. either that or just turn your back at them and ignore them.
that or start your own dance at them at the same time. i think the macarena would be appropriate, or maybe the can-can!
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One thing puzzles me....
After all this time you'd have thought the AB's would know which pocket they've left their car keys in.
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Henry is a right whinging idiot, as is old Nononooonooono (not that I'd tell them that). If they want to pull that out, fair enough, but pretty much any response is ok. The Welsh just stared them down, I think they'd have been better with something physical. Thing about the haka is, it gets the blood moving, and already starts trying to dominate the space.
Obviously, the french should link arms and do the can can though. Preferably while the haka is happening.
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Next thing you will be saying the naitonal anthems are silly and need to be banned. Grow up and let the haka be. If your team cant handle it and get intimidated then they shouldnt be on the pitch in the first place (cant believe some people actually suggested that...) and if you think its silly - who cares? These are not reasons to ban it. Those arguing against the tradition probably dont even know why the All Blacks are called the All Blacks so there is not much point in discussing that part as they obviously have no appreciation for how these things get started and why they are important. They are not part of the rule book but they make things interesting and since it doesnt hurt anyone - whats the big deal? When England get thumped by the AB on the weekend, they will probably claim it was the haka...
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Much sooner watch that scene from Zulu when they do that chanting and shield banging
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Eddie o'sullivan isn't the Irish Manager anymore Robbo - Declan Kidney but good blog! If they can put a challenge up to the opposition through a Maori war dance then why can't the opposition stand up to that!! Do any of the NZ players actually complain about opponents staring at them???
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Great piece!! really loved the end.....:)
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Simplest answer would be a loud snoring through the stadium speakers. Would get the crowd fired up!
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The idea that the Haka is a tradition is rubbish. If it really were, why don't we see their hockey teams and volley ball teams doing a Haka? The audacity they have to suggest that we insulted them by staring at them on Saturday is incredible! Ma'a Nonu said he was 'upset' about it! I mean, does he realise he's taking part in a war dance?! It has no place on a rugby field full stop.
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The Haka. A Maori war dance. Fair enough. But who decided that it was to be the last 'event' before the kick-off? It seems only fair that the opposition should have the chance to reply, if they wish. Graham Henry has asked teams to respect the Haka. What did Wales do? Showed absolute respect.. Standing still, staring forward, willing to meet the challenge. But they stayed there a little too long. Oh dear, Graham.. They should have dispersed before the ABs, shouldn't they? Nonu wouldn't have been upset, then. How rude, still standing there after the Haka had finished. Show more respect next time, Wales - run away straight after the end and cower beneath the goalposts.
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Me, I think the opposing team should do the the conga - - do do do
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I have no idea what Henry is having a moan about. The All blacks laid down a chanllenge and Wales accepted it. They could have done far more disrespectful things and to be honest it set up a great atmosphere and the game lived up to it in the first half. The haka is incredible specacle however Henry should be more concentrated on the rugby that is produced, which in the first half wasn't that good from a New Zealand point of view.
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The best response to the haka would simply be to win the game - how silly would the All Blacks' war dance look if they did it before every match, but it was no help to them and they lost.
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Why oh why does Graham Henry draw all this attention to himself? It only builds up the pressure for the whole squad, hightening the sense of monumental underachievement when it actually matters.
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A psychologist would tell you there are two ways to deal with a haka.
At the end of the day NZ do it for one reason alone - to get a psychological advantage at the start of the game. Tradition may be a good excuse but it's really all obout eking out an advantage.
Standing there and taking it is not the thing to do. Just lets them get their tails up. Either you:
1. Face it and challenge it back - which Wales did last week and others have done before. But you have to end up ahead if you try that. Wales were fortunate that the ref made NZ step back, so Wales won in that instance. Marginally, NZ blinked.
2. Ignore it completely. Go do something else in another part of the pitch. Do a warm up passing drill or similar. The message simply is 'we're not interested in what you're doing'. If you pull that off properly then the guys sticking their tongues out can feel rather silly when the objects of their war dance are concentrating completely on something else.
Personally I'd go for option 2. The Campese option, actually. Don't know why his other team mates didn't do it with him.
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I do not understand the reverence shown to this outdated and cumbersome tradition.
We've seen it all a hundred times or more (especially with the amount of rugby coverage now available on TV) so why are we still bothered with it?
Would it really be so offensive if we just let the AB's carry on with their tribal dance? Instead of the "oooh I've heard Wales are doing this..." or "Scotland should line up fully kilted and flash their behinds ala Braveheart " etc, why dont the opposition teams simple go into a group huddle and ignore this "Challenge to War"?
Im sorry but to me its no more than a pre match ritual now...Celtic FC may go into a huddle before every game (yet unfortunately we still get hammered away from home regardless) whilst other sporting teams give high fives all round, hug team mates, point to family members in crowd and kiss their lucky medallions etc. There really is no difference between this and the Haka in modern day society!
Just let the All Blacks do their thing...I see no reason why others should have to stand and watch them! Why not carry on in deep discussion with your team in a huddle, hear what your captain must say/ go over the tactics one last time...or at worst simply a few star jumps/ stretches to get yourself prepared for the 80mins ahead? If the AB's soon realised that no-one sees it as a challenge to war, they themselves would gt tired of it as well, further accelerated by the fact they would be constantly moaning at it!
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Wales is a land of legend and song. Perhaps nowhere else in western Europe have these things been so well preserved. During the Haka we should sing! 75.000 of us at the top of our voices. I don't care what the NZs do. I care about what we do. We should sing!
If the NZs get upset and have a cry, well I'm sorry. They need to send less sensitive individuals. In Wales we should sing.
No country is greater than any other. No tradition is more important. Every nation has pride in it's traditions. We should sing.
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Respect the Haka, respect the Eisteddfod Robbo. Just because it is a culture and a language you dont understand doesnt mean you need to criticise it. I would love to see the England team Morris Dance as a response to the Haka. That would outpsych them!
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Couldn't agree more HuwLlew - it's just that every reaction to the haka seems to be taken with a lot of umbrage by the All Blacks. They are of course addicted to it - although when the NZRU tried to send them to rehab the ABs said No-No-Nu!
To be fair Zinzan and Fitzpatrick have said that the opposition should be able to do what the hell they like during the haka so it's probably just a few moaning minnies making the rest of them look a bit prissy.
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Sing the "Hokey Cokey" at full volume while the "Haka" is performed. That is the answer!
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I think you mean mush-for-brains not brains-for-mush. A bit mush when a kiwi needs to correct your english
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I don't want to ban the Haka, it's great to watch. I do want the Kiwis to stop whinging though every time a team does any sort of response to them though. What DO they want us to do?
Personally I think we should respond as the Brits did a couple of hundred years ago. It seemed to work then. Land on the beach ... watch the Haka (with respect) ... draw weapons ... and open fire!!
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Great blog. I don't often see eye to eye with you especially when you comment on Rugby, but this is spot-on.
Rubertos_08 likened Graham Henry to a spoilt kid. Well that is what a lot of NZs are - they seem to think that they are God's gift to this world and anybody that stands up to them is, by definition, evil. Having said that, I have to admit that I love the country and in fact have a Kiwi son-in-law (who is great) but there is a strong undercurrent of resentment (and an inferiority complex related to their cousins across the ditch)amongst a large proportion of the population.
And what was Ma'a Nonu implying when he said that Wales' response to the Haka indicated a challenge to a fight! Isn' t that what the Haka is??? It's almost as though he is saying that any positive response is disrespectful and the only way to react is to go and cower in the corner. I love the Haka as pure theatre but I feel that the ABs have now adopted it as a form of psychological intimidation, in much the same way that Aussie cricketers have developed sledging.
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It seems that whatever the opposition do the ABs will find something to complain about. Stand and watch it? Insulting. Turn your back? Insulting. Group hug? Insulting. Staying in the dressing room until they've finished? Making them do it in the dressing room/car park/airport arrivals terminal?
If the ABs get so touchy about what the opponents do regardless of what it actually is, then perhaps they could always try not jigging around and shouting for a change. Mind you, shouting about not a deal is what the Antipodeans seem best at......
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did u jus call ireland a home nation??
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Quality article Robbo. Best for a while and extremely funny!
"They could finish the dance by asking the Antipodeans the question a lot of Englishmen ask their colonial cousins: "Can I have two pints of bitter and a bag of pork scratchings please?".....Class
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Ok, a few points on this - firstly, the Haka shouldn't be banned. It's part of world rugby. Why isn't there such a fuss about Tonga and Samoa etc doing their own 'war dance' before a match? Simple - because they don't beat everyone, so other teams don't try to come up with lame excuses. Second, former players like Will Greenwood and Jerry Gusscot say that facing the Haka is one of the highlights of their careers, something that will always stand out in their memories.
People say it gives the All Blacks an advantage, which I don't believe because I think if I ever faced off against the Haka it would give me a massive adrenalin rush as well and get me pumped up to face them. It doesn't make them invincible. People say it's a form of intimidation, but I can tell you as a rugby player that nothing an opposition player says or does before the match is intimidating. The way to do that is as soon as the game starts, get a huge tackle on the opposition. That's what NZ do. They play with so much enthusiasm and power that it intimidates opponents into making mistakes.
Apart from anything else, it's a good way to get the crowd going and build up a great atmosphere for a game kicking off.
In terms of how to react to it, I would say that the only sign of disrespect is turning your back on it. But that to me makes you look like a coward cos you're not facing up to the challenge. But also, don't do what o'driscoll did with the lions and throw some grass at them. That's just lame. Do what the Aussies do just before kick off in home games - a rousing rendition of Waltzing Matilda! That'll get them! I'm Scottish, by the way, and supported England in the RL World Cup after Scotland went out, then supported NZ in the final. I always support the home nations as long as they're not playing against Scotland or if the result will have a detrimental effect to the Scots, like Argentina against Ireland, where I wanted the Argie's to win. Which they didn't anyway.
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The 'proper' response to the Haka is to tear up a few blades of grass and throw them in the direction of the Haka-doers.
This symbolises picking up the gauntlet and accepting the challenge.
It's what Brian O'Driscoll did on the Lions' tour and his recognition of their traditions was met with a spear tackle - probably because the NZ players are too thick to have understood the gesture and thought he was, in some way, disrespecting them.
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I thought that the Irish version would involve marching to the pitch via the opponents dressing room , whilst banging very loud drums and shouting obscenities.
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@angry_beaver
Why do you continue to read his articles then? It really doesn't make any sense, having a personal vendetta against a fictional character...
Not looking is insulting? Wow that's crazy. I say, insult away!
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Why is it only the English that cry and whinge about the Haka? Okay staring isn't disrespecting it and opposing teams should be able to answer it in some way. The best way would be to beat the Kiwis.
On Saturday on Talksport they did nowt ut say the Haka should be banned or curtailed at least. But it's only you English that seem to have a problem with it.
Oh yeah robbo, Flower of Scotland is far better at getting players and crowd fired up than that durge you lot play. It's not even the English anthem, it's British!
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What bemuses me are the third generation white/european immigrants performing this Maori tradition that has pretty much nothing to do with them.
Still, I enjoy the Haka, and watching the All Blacks play.
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Robbo - great blog on a topic that i have been banging on about for ages and ages... i know it is "tradition" but why are they allowed to do it? the ref wouldn't let any other side hold up the kick off for any reason - i.e. Wales blasting out Tom Jones' greatest hits as it is "tradition" so why New Zealand... and even the "tradition" argument is stupid... i accept the Maori's had it in their history .. but watching white people clearly of European origin do it as "tradition" is up their with Americans claiming to be Irish - it is laughable and ridiculous and quite frankly annoying... if i moved to Africa i wouldn't need to immediately adopt local tribal rituals...it's bonkers....just because something is in a countres tradition doesn't mean it should be done before the strat of a sporting event... especially as it is "war" related... how would they like it if as the ref was about to kickoff we drove 5 tanks onto the pitch, flew over some harrier jumpjets and said "we are invading your country"... it's in our tradition!
that said i love it for what it is and i don't want it removed as a specticle... but likewise it should be disrespected... as "traditionally" it is (can be amongst other things) a statement of intent for war ... so that should hardly be welcomed with open arms and smiles... as i doubt that was the traditional British troops response if they encountered it... they would more likely just shoot the Maori tribe to death and say "we now own this"... and i don't think we really want to see that before a game... or do we??
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Well, if its tradition people want, the next time England face the All Blacks, they should ride onto the pitch on cavalry chargers and perform a jousting exhibition, followed by some sword practise.
That ought to get the England players in the mood for a battle and give the Kiwis something to think about.
Fair play about the Morris dancing...it might actually be more effective. I imagine the Kiwis would find it hard to play while they're doubled over with laughter.
Another good blog Robbo. A little heavy on the stereotypes, but amusing nonetheless.
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94 - ScottishScouser .. very rarely do scottish people get a rise from me but you have managed it...
1st... you seem very quick to moan about "you English" but clearly have a link to England - hence the "Scouser" bit of your username... maybe you just want to be English or maybe just like our football more than your own pub league, etc
2nd - it was Wales that disrespected the Haka - not the English... but once again thanks for your input... now please get back to eating fried mars bars, getting drunk, beating your wife, spending our taxes and looking up which cub scouts team Celtic/Rangers are going to beat 100 nil this week
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Forgot to mention - the England players would be dressed as Crusader knights for the pre-match exhibition (just in case anyone didn't get it).
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I always thought the Haka was about 'throwing down the challenge' (not that i'm a Rugby Union fanatic). If im right than accepting it is in order in anyway an opponent see s fit surely?
A straightforward one finger salute from each opponent should do it! I cant see how gestures of throat slitting and whatever else it means can possibly be 'disrespected' however a team responds. Its arguably disrespectful of the Kiwi's to do it to the opponent in the first place.
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I think what Wales did is the "only" way of responding to the Haka. It's certainly not disrespectful standing up to the "enemy", and especially not when they're performing a ritual of war.
Anyone remember the World Cup semi final when France faced up to them? The look on Chabal's face said it all. Don't recall ever seeing anyone so pumped up and focussed before. And look who won that match.
Facing up to them is they way ahead in my opinion
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boomshakalak, Post 98,
Talk about stereotypes! If you read my post again mate, I said nowt about the English team or any team whinging about the Haka and you are quite right about Wales. What I was getting at is the 'English' media; every time the Kiwis play at Twickernam this debate is trotted out. Thus my referal to 'you English!' Possibly a bit rude but non-the-less true!
I also said that the NZers moaning about it being disrespected is rubbish, teams should be able to answer it by stiring or getting into a huddle or do what ever they like.
My only gripe is that it is English media crying about the situation, like Robbo and Parry from Talksport. They have a right to do so but why trot out ridiculous stereotypes in the process. I'm not particularly touchy about stereotypes but maybe if the blog was a bit more original or indeed funny I wouldn't have felt compelled to have a moan mysel.
In addition, Robbo taking the rise out of the Flower of Scotland is a bit rich considering the English Sport teams don't even have an anthem of their own to get them fired up.
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ScottishScouser...fair play for coming back at me and i'm glad my deliberate stereotypical drivvel got a response from you mate!... it was only posted to do just that...
for what it is worth - i know exactly where you are coming from - i couldn't agree more... but it isn't all of us English that are whinging about it... i said i like it .. but just don't know why they are allowed to do it?? so please don't lump us all in the same boat... as not all you scots eat fried mars bars either!
RE Flower of Scotland, etc - i agree with you ... but whilst i don't like God save the Queen - England are technically the only team to line up to their official National Anthem... as whilst we are only Engalnd and not Britain our national anthem is still the British one, hence GSTQ and not anything else... no matter how rousing, melodic or preferred it is... Flower of Scotland is pretty much on a par with The Proclaimers 500 miles... :)
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