Alas Gallas!
Not long ago I was busy buttering Arsene Wenger's parsnips after his team of international children turned over Man U at the Emirates. It was all an Arsene side should be: swift, neat, attractive... and it looked as though the crisis was over.
But there was a serious oversight in my analysis. I forgot that William Gallas was still skipper. If Wenger made one serious error this season it was retaining that fella as captain.
I can't think of any other person who's ever been given the armband shooting his mouth off with quite such a high level of plain stupidity as William.
Some people may have sympathy with his opinion that Arsenal are a little bit too flimsy when push comes to shove. The evidence at Eastlands would suggest that's true - taking candy from a baby would have been a Herculean task in comparison.
And it's pretty clear that Wenger watches these games with one eye closed. "It was a tight game"? About as tight as John Sergeant's undies on Cheryl Cole.
Mind, I happen to think that the greatest betrayal in football is when a player or manager goes public about the people he's working with and slags them all off. Hoddle's stupid World Cup '98 book was bloody scandalous and entirely selfish.
David O'Leary's opportunism in releasing Leeds United on Trial was so obvious it was the managerial equivalent of goal-hanging. Gallas has put himself in the same boat and for a lot less cash.

I always feel uncomfortable when footballers talk about needing to be 'soldiers'. By all means spend the close-season in battle fatigues in the wilds of Afghanistan if you want to, William. I think it's a damn sight harder than losing 2-1 at Stoke City.
Also, there's summat right juvenile about saying that he won't reveal the name of a disruptive player but "I'm 31, the player is six years younger than me". Ooo, William, you're such a tease!
It's hard to know how you can moan about bad influences in the dressing-room when you are the one who's blabbing to the press about it. A case of Monsieur Le Pot et Monsieur le cafetiere if you ask me (the French don't have kettles, do they?)
His behaviour at St Andrew's last year was a joke. There's a lad with his leg virtually snapped in two on his way to the hospital and he's stropping on the half-way line like a lass. If he was my son I would have clipped him round the ears and grounded him.
The incident with the ciggie is a fuss about nowt, frankly. As long as he's not passing round the ready-rubbed at half-time, who cares?
I'd be more worried by the laughable accusation that Wild Willie threatened to score own goals at Chelsea if they didn't let him go actually had a grain of truth in it. He wasn't backward at telling the world that he hated being left-back too. Mind you, on £90k a week most of us would, I dunno, just cope somehow.
When I'm fit - which at the mo is about as frequently as Michael Owen - I'm skipper of me pub side The Blue Bells. (Currently I'm struggling with an upper thigh injury sustained whilst watching Strictly Come Dancing - ermm, don't ask! Suffice to say if the wife sees Rachel Stevens attempt another rumba she swears she's going to throw the HD wide-screen on the tip and scoop out my greedy little eyes with a teaspoon).
Still you never catch me talking out of school about the lads just 'cos we've had a dodgy run of results.
If I did I could go on all night about what a blinking flapper Terry 'Gomes' Thompson is in goal and how our creative midfielder Zorba goes missing more often a packet of Bourbons at a Slimmers' Club coffee morning. And don't get me started on the whingeing winger Armstrong - he works for the Post Office which probably accounts for his bloody awful delivery.
The most disruptive player in the Blue Bells however is... no I couldn't say... You can't force it out of me... what? There's a packet of Superkings and a Rachel Stevens DVD in it for us and I won't have to play left-back again?... OK, his name's ....(deleted for legal reasons - Ed).
As I've said before, I don't think Wenger's position could possibly be under threat. He's done the right thing by stripping Gallas of the captaincy and giving it to his best player, Fabregas - even if it's way too late in the day. I'd kick him out full stop, me. Trouble is, he's a top defender, if he can keep his gob shut.
In the meantime, Wenger could do with his team butching up a bit for Tuesday. I reckon Gallas'll play - even if he thinks that the young lads are too chicken for Kiev.
And you mark my words, I've got a feeling that somehow, from somewhere, Wenger might just chivvy his little lads along to another Champs League final next year. At least, I'm more confident of that happening than Alas Gallas.

I'm Derek Robson. People call me Robbo. Legend has it I was raised in the furnace and smog of Teesside. Some might say I took the hard road. I like to tell folk I had trials for Middlesbrough, for Hartlepool and for burglary (not guilty). I've always loved sport. My job is to say it as I see it - whether it's in the bar of the Blue Bell or on this blog. You won't find me calling a spade a soil-redistribution implement.
~RS~q~RS~~RS~z~RS~31~RS~)
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Well done Robbo, another hilarious blog! Too many funnies to single out just one but the " John Sergeant's undies on Cheryl Cole" bit particularly made me laugh. Thank the Lord that it wasn't Sergeant wearing Cheryl's undies!
Gallas will have to do a lot of grovelling to get out of this one. I wonder if he will just get on with it or if it will turn into a situation like the one at Chelsea? Would any other manager be prepared to put up with his behaviour?
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Wenger really had his hand forced on this one...I'm sure he would've preferred to have stuck to his guns with Gallas, and there was some truth in what Gallas said after all.
But when you're complaining to the press about it rather than dealing 'in-house'...and even more so when you're the captain, supposed to be the person the others look to for guidance and how to behave. Well, you're on a hiding to nothing really. Even Roy Keane got ditched by Fergie after one angry rant too many.
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Good article Robbo!! I can't believe Gallas. Maybe AW will get the cheque book out and buy an English centre back in the Adams or Terry mold and get rid of Gallas and the stupid money he's on.
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This is not the perfect time to meet Arsenal,Chelsea vs Arsenal is the next big game and i think for Chelsea this might look like a perfer timing but i guess wounded Arsenal will win this match and prove that this was indeed a worst time to meet them.
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Another great article Robbo.
Gallas is setting a terrible example, and i will lose what little respect i have in Wenger if he dosent get rid of him. He has a very young and impressionable squad, and Gallas is the last person they need in that changing room. Considering Fabregas is still so young, he seems like a very mature and down to earth individual. Very good choice for captain. A club like newcastle would be interesting for Gallas
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Making Cesc captain is a god move, it ties him to Arsenal a little more, making it harder for him to leave anytime soon. He's certainly more mature than thicko Gallas, even if is just out of nappies!
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Oh give it a rest - you got who you wanted as captain lets pray that you dont give as hard a time to Cesc as what you did to William.
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gallas is a complete muppet. i cant believe he harps on about the team needing to be like soldiers when he's the one sat on the pitch crying like a complete t*t at st andrews last season. this whole thing riled me up and i don't even support arsenal!
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#6 - "Making Cesc captain is a god move, it ties him to Arsenal a little more, making it harder for him to leave anytime soon"
like it tied former captains Viera and Henry to the club?? Fabregas will go, probably to Barca or Real - if not this summer then next.
Gallas has once again just shown that he is a childish muppet.... i guess he is either clever and angling for a move or just very stupid!
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As a rival fan I have to say I'll miss Gallas' captaincy, they'd of been better off with captain Birdseye or captain caveman to be honest, the guys a complete tool.
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I cant believe my license fee is wasted on this etc etc ZZZzzzzzz
Excellent as ever Robbo - keep it up!
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Hey Robbo, do you choose the hyperlinks on you blog yourself or does a nice subeditor choose them for you. Nice blog mate.
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#10 Just like Gomez eh....now there's a complete tool!
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#9 - not a chance in hell he will go to Real
you're column is nauseating to read, and in rseponse to anyone saying "well don't read it," i won't
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The sooner Gallas is out of the league the better.
Not that Fabregas is a saint as we saw in his entirely disrespectful run-in with Mark Hughes at the start of last year, but how many players are saints? And I don't see Fabregas behaving in the way Gallas has.
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Another great article Robbo...its helped a boring Monday afternoon pass more swiftly.
I think Gallas could do with spending a few months in Afghanistan. Maybe then the big crybaby would get some kind of perspective on life.
Totally agree about Rachel Stevens...she's gorgeous. I used to have a similar thing for Jet from the original Gladiators.
You do have to worry about Arsenal though when they go to Man City (who haven't exactly been pulling up trees lately) and lose 2-0. They are looking very fragile at the moment and if Arsene doesn't get a couple of sturdy defenders / midfielders come January, I think they could struggle to hang on to 4th place.
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Excuse me - it was 3-0 to Man City...
@SternButFair:
Hey - if you don't like Robbo's articles...don't read 'em!
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Well Wenger has a reptuation for being a moaner and when his captain moans he reacts like this? I find it hypocritical. I think Gallas fancies himself as Roy Keane, He has been let down by the boss, and I reckon he is a soft in the Head as Stephen Ireland. Still a good player though.
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Gallas is a good player but there's this balancing act you have to have with this sort, isn't there? Is he so good that he's worth the bother? Wouldn't it be better to finsih seventh and not have to look at the great nana every weekend? I mean he might improve your side but does he improve your day? I doubt it somehow.
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i find this whole situation at arsenal rather amusing actually. firstly just to clarify im not a spurs fan but rather a liverpool fan, who over the years has always had a soft spot for arsenal as they were the one's challenging the likes of united and chelsea for the title!
cast your minds back a year or two ago wen arsenal sold cole for gallas and all arsenal fans are raving about the best centre back pairing in the league and cole was playing badly at chelsea. slowly but surely, cole has picked up form at chelsea and gallas has quite literally lost the plot! on top of that toure doesn't seem to be getting in the team at the moment and as cover for them you've got a past it ex united defender!
big question is... where has it all gone wrong for arsenal? i wudnt dare blame wenger for all this and any so called gooners calling for his head need to think back to the boring days under george graham and how far mr wenger has transformed your club.
however the failure to replace flamini has left you short on defensive cover from midfield and also you have lost that bit of fight which gallas ranted on about! and although you let senderos go on loan but he was your cover and a big strong defender u wud quite like to hav in your team away to the likes of stoke. instead you got rid of him and replaced him with an injury prone player quite similar in style and stature to gallas and toure.
every manager makes bad signings and i hope thats all it is because arsenal, on their day are the best team in the country to watch but they could certainly do without the antics of mr gallas. good luck cesc!
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about time we got rid of gallas. the guy is no good. he is a bad influence on his team-mates and has made too many mistakes to claim to be a world class defender. plus, he is about aas quick over 10 yards as my 86 year old grandma.
maybe the public kick in the preverbials will do him the world of good, i hope so. for arsenal's sake
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William Gallas typifies Frech football at the minute; looks the part with a huge reputation but always seems better on paper.
The way he was burned by Agbonlaghor the other week shows he is all talk and no substance. He claims to be a leader of a group of youngsters who sooner than later will be all better than him. Arsenal should punt him and buy someone like Sergio Ramos or someone of that ability.
And some of Gallas' antics on the pitch (when getting involved with fans or officials) makes the team a laughing stock.
Get rid ASAP!!!
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We get used of English culture when they dislike or like something, media plays great role in demolition of someone’s ability, as if the reporters could do something when they are on the field, they used to know more than the managers, they have not been questioning about Gallas ability on the field but they use to scrutiny all the evils they think, if 3 mistakes irrelevant in the football, makes the skipper out of his role, then how many should we count for managers? After Gallas who will they choose to go? It’s true as Shakespeare said:” evils that men do, lives after them, but the good things go through their bones when they die"
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Good article Robbo!! I can't believe Gallas. Maybe AW will get the cheque book out and buy an English centre back in the Adams or Terry mold and get rid of Gallas and the stupid money he's on
---------------------------------------------
like who though. certainly not any from the other big three, and man city dont need to sell richards, and nor would they since they have eyes on competing in the CL in the long run. maybe upson? i feel he may have to look further afield for a top class centreback
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What I find interesting is that at the time of the Cashley/ Gallas swap (plus a few quid between friends) first couple of seasons it looked like Arsene got the better deal. However, surely in the last year you'd have to say not. I'm sure Gallas was offered the captaincy as part of the deal, so he'll likely move on now (although it won't be to Inter!). Which will complicate Arsenal's problems of having to add steel to the silk even further.
Personally, I think Arsenal need the replacement for Patrick Viera, they haven't looked the same since he left. Easier said than done.
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top stuff, very well said
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Gallas' has little choice but to knuckle down and win over his critics. Leaving this winter in protest at his demotion will only see him go to a lesser club or lesser league; who'd sign a defender that is 31 and fallen out with both Mourinho and Wenger?
If losing your captaincy to a 21 year old stings, then play well for 6 months, raise your stock a little, then leave in summer with some credibility restored.
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Wasnt It Stoke 2 Arsenal 0 Not 2-1 Robbo
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Whilst watching Sky sports news ( sorry )this morning in my school canteen, i saw that Gallas had odds of 100 / 1 to cry on the pitch. How can such a man lead an example to the many youngsters at Arsenal ? It is a pleasure to see him leave.
However , I do think it is a hard choice for Arsene , as there is no obvious captain . Fabregas is clearly favourited by the fans , but i personally believe his various talents do not include leadership. Fair enough , he's a great player , but i dont think that he is ready to take charge of the new Arsenal generation , which has already proved to be a considerable force.
I have been getting weary of Arsenal of late , especially in the last few days , they're inconsistency has now driven me to think that they do not deserve a place at the top. Although this could also be said for Manchester United, but as champions , im certain they'll find a way to fight back. For Arsenal though , they're future may look bright , but it is this season they should be worried about . I wouldn't be surprised if they struggled over the next few games.
Top four ? im not so sure.
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This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the House Rules.
More importantly, if Jonathan Ross is worth 1000 BBC journalists, how many Jonathan Ross's is Robbo worth?
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Great as ever!
Perhaps a swap Gallas for Gomes?
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A belly laugh (plus coff) not once but twice and almost a third belly laugh. Keep it up Robbo, lolololol!!
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Schitt - I can't stop laughing. Brightened my morning.
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U11148453 (really rolls off the tongue that one) - if you hate the 'English people and their media' so much why are you here on the BBC reading Robbo's blog?
Why not stick to your wonderful American media? At least you won't have to deal with "over analysis" there.
BTW, seeing as you know so much about him it's actually Gallas not Gallass, unless that's American spelling.
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Re rosey05
Not so much a Liverpool fan then, more an "any one but United fan" judging by your opening and slating of Sylvestre
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Do you not get the distinct feeling that U11148453 (Post 30) is not getting enough roughage and certainly not getting enough you-know-what, or any of the latter, for that matter?
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U11148453 (post 30)
England in 2006 were well average, yes. Some of us thought the knee-knocking ninnies who couldn't score a penalty were pretty much to blame too, but as you can tell from recent results, a top coach helps.
England in 1986 were average too, but had just had two successive 3-0s v Poland and Paraguay (I think). Lineker was on a hot streak and he and Beardsley were on top form. Even the dullest brains on God's green earth might suggest that when you lose 2-1 and one of them goals was an outrageous piece of cheating, that you might feel hard done by. Nevertheless the Argies - and Maradona in particular - were the best team there and deserved to win a very good final.
As for any defence of Gallas on the basis that it's only us French-baiters that think he's got a screw loose. Donnez une chausette dans ta bouche, sunshine. Gallas is a terrible captain not cos he's French but because every so often it seems like he's a couple of moules short of the full mariniere, if you get my meaning.
No one on here, as far as I can tell, has said William is a bad footballer - he's just a really lame skipper and should've lost the captaincy ages ago.
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Re 30:
A-FREAKIN-MEN to that!
Captain. Pfff. What is this cricket? When was the last time the choice of captain had any bearing on the performance of a football team? We're talking about a bunch of PROFESSIONALS here. In the Prem of all leagues. The money alone should be motive enough.
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Oh and to 35 and 37:
Could your responses have been any more predictable? "We don't agree with him and we haven't got an argument; what do we do? Why, attack him personally, of course!"
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40: Attack him personally?
By personally, do you mean something along the lines of "something deeply nasty and sinister in English people", or "English losers"? Guess that's simply reasoned debate to you.
Think Robbo dealt with his "points" well, but not much point in trying a logical debate with someone who talks about "escape goats" and generalises about a whole nation based on a couple of articles and blogs.
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On the evidence of previous comments, 'waldovski' you seem to have delivered the most predictable response of the night.
Why simply spew a torrent of vitriolic abuse towards British football and journalism on the British Broadcasting Corporation website?
If you worked out a template to post on every blog on here you could save yourself a great deal of time you know. If you leave blanks wherever you need a noun you can simply pick the one most suitable from a condensed list.
Here's some help getting started:
Capello
Rooney
Lampard
Gerrard
English Premier League
FA
licence payers' money
BBC
It shouldn't need too much more work.
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Robbo, like your blogs. They're always more interesting than anything Hansen has to say on his and a fun easy read. Can you post a picture of the Blue Bells one day? The pub gets a lot of mentions. I drove past what I thought was it the other day on the way to a Hatlepool game and would be fascinated to know if it was THE Blue Bells. It's the most famous place I know in Middlesbrough (or Stockton?). Really want to know if that grim looking pub is the inspiration for some of your blogs!!
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I think what Galas said was right but we all thought he does it the wrong way, we are not sure if he has spoken to AW without any changes before he came to the press.
AW needs to change his system by assemblying young and up coming players and selling them as soon as they matured.
We do not want him to turn Arsenal into breeding ground for Europe elites clubs.
Arsenal has beome a laughing stock for all clubs, beacuse they all believed they can beat Arsenal at Emirate stadium, what they can not do at Highbruy.
All European clubs now target Arsenal players beacuse they knew AW will sell as price is right not thinking of replacement, which i believed is wrong.
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I want to respond to the comment made by "u11148453" first of all your anti english comments are not welcome, where you from and which team do you support? Give yourself a shake bud because you are clueless
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A lot has been said about Williams’ captaincy. In particular, I quote Lee Dixon:
"To be fair what Gallas has said is not a million miles away from the truth, I'm sure that privately Wenger is going 'well I kind of agree with quite a lot of it'.
"The area where Gallas has let himself down is coming out and saying it in the press."
Lee and all, believe me not. We really needed someone to come out and say something. This is a wake-up call to Wenger who must go out there and strengthen the team with a bit of experience in the team. As an economist Wenger is right to take a long term view through the youth policy and improved capacity [ie move from Highbury to Emirates]. However, he is being less prudent and naïve not to address the short term objectives of the club…that is buying finished articles to win us trophies now not tomorrow.
Well done William for sacrificing the arm-band. I know they say when you are in Rome do what the Romans do, but stuck out and thought and acted like a Frenchman. Ignore the English press and enjoy your football, you know how and your boss seem to have forgotten how to win medals.
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We can only hope for things to get better. Just hope at the moment...
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#39,
Judging by your choice of words you're a yank, or maybe a plastic-yank, who thinks the Magnum PI is the coolest thing on tv. Either way, your idiotic suggestion that the captain of a professional football team has no influence on the squad is, well, idiotic.
A few obvious examples from recent times:
Robson (the other one)
Keane
Vierra
Zidane
Gerard
.....
Stick another supersize burger in youre mouth so I don't need to waste any more effort responding to your nonsense.
Oxygen thief...
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Hey Robbo, Donnez is the plural of the verb to give, or the polite form. So you told that guy to give a sock to his mouth.......I get the gist but I doubt the french bloke would have a clue what you are talking about.
:-)
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kgo13x i dnt c y you think im just an anti united fan?! all ive said is that silvestre did not play for united in the last two years and thats who they chose to have as their centre back cover! no digs at united at all! don't know wot u were reading mate!
i was also just sayin in my opening that i always favoured arsenal coz liverpool were never in the running so of course i wanted them to win the league over united... find me a liverpool fan who didnt!
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49
collie21. Hold up you're right but ylou;re wrong. 'donnez' isn't the plural of anything, but it certainly doesn't mean 'put' which was what I was going for. Mettez, maybe?
Perhaps the 90k a week Gallas could Mettez son monnaie ou sa bouche est ce soir, innit?
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30
Your post might have a little more weight if you didn't claim the english were obsessed with 'escape goats'
There are some idiots out there that solely blame ronaldo for the 06 performance, but outside of the sun readership most of us are well aware that we were dire in 06
as for mclaren - Capello has done an incredible job fixing england, it's taken years and years of finding new players and getting rid of those overrated ones after mclaren's bad timing...oh wait, he's got us playing very well within a year, with pretty much the same squad sven had - spot the correlation
as for Gallas- you're an idiot, all the top teams have leaders on the pitch - Terry, Gerrard, Carragher, Dunne - how many of them have you seen have a hissy fit and sit in the middle of the pitch because of an injury to a team mate and a late penalty? - the man is emotionally unstable, and in a team of arsenal's inexperience he has had a particularly negative effect
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I'm not an Arsenal fan but I'd be gutted if Wenger was to leave with all the criticism he's getting at the moment.
Besides - Arsenal are in crisis at the moment, which roughly translated means after a bad patch they are in fifth place - I wish my team were in such dire straits.
Fair enough they may not win a title this season or even next but long term they look the most stable of the big four with talented youngsters coming through season after season, some of them are even British!
As for Gallas - well yes he's a big sulker but I'm sure if he was on the transfer list come January there would still be a fair few takers.
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The 'jokes' about the pub team were, quite honestly, appalling.
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The royal mail effort wasnt too shoddy
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