Ready Freddie?
The return of Fred! Flintoff is back! No booze, no niggles, no arm-bands necessary! But who's he in for?
Will Collingwood step aside? We all like the Durham lad - we watched Colly flower and then Colly Wobble - but surely now he needs a little time on the sidelines with Harmy trying to remember how the game works. Plus he's not been lucky and we want jowsers in the team right now.
But will the selectors drop Sidey instead? The man who looks like he's just stepped off the set of Tommy has had a dodgy back, so it could make things straightforward.
Jimmy A is here to stay now. We've all watched him be as consistent as an English summer but he deserves awards for gallantry for trying to flog that dead horse of a track with twice the vigour of a well-paid escort in a Chelsea cellar.
And what of Broady? Chris's lad is blossoming, that's for sure, but he doesn't bag enough wickets for me and if he's in for his all-round abilities then the bloke who's just joined the 12 is a useful replacement. That'd be my pick. Plus I'd bring in Bopara or Shah to replace Colly.
Meanwhile the selectors are having a stubborn turn over Ambrose. If you're going to have a wickie that can't catch, pick Prior. Matt can bat. You could put five men from cover to gully against Ambrose and he'd never score. If you want a wickie then pick Read or Foster.
But regardless of who makes way, isn't it grand to see Fred back? Some prophets of doom are telling me that he's never going to reach his former heights and has never been the same since he staggered into Number 10 and his eyes glazed over while listening to Tony Blair (not an uncommon experience, surely?).
Nonsense, I tell them, he's back at full pace, the ankle's fine, the bat's broad and there's not an untethered children's water-vehicle in the whole of Leeds! Any road, if ever there was proof that we needed the fella back it was Sunday and Monday at Lord's.
A mate nearly tempted us down for Monday's play but I made the right decision. No ta, I said, I've got some garden shears that need sharpening, I've got to arrange my CDs into chronological order and then I'm going to watch these planks warp.
Seventy five quid for that stuff all day - you could get bored for the same price but half the time at the opera, couldn't you?
On the other hand, if the tables were turned we would be talking about a heroic rearguard action, wouldn't we? The usual hearts of oak, stomach of lions, minds of steel garbage we throw around when English batters cover up the deficiencies of English bowlers.
The doughty Athers, the scrapping Jack Russell, the straight-backed Stewart, Crofty and Gus, etc, etc. Trevor Bailey batting three-and-a-half-years for his 22 not out. Marvellous eh? Bravo. Rah-rah!
Frankly the South Africans owe us at least three days of tedium, don't they?
Mind you dull is what we're going to keep getting at Lord's if the groundsman Mick Hunt (funny how he doesn't call himself Mike) keeps preparing these gentle little tracks for cricketers to play on. I swear to God there's a 15-tog duvet just under the surface.
People are already telling me that Freddie would have got something out of this pitch... like what? A good night's kip? Trying to get a wicket was not dissimilar to attempting to dismantle the Berlin Wall by pelting it with cotton buds. Had Smith and co not batted so uselessly first time around we'd already be praying for rain to bring an early conclusion.
Any road, why go 200-odd miles when you can listen to Test Match Special, which goes from strength to strength. Boycott is great value, especially just after a fortifying lunch when it sounds to me, and I could be guessing, that the Yorkshire Knight has been on the Pinot Savignon or whatever they call wines these days.
He's blessed with as much tact as the Duke of Edinburgh. In fact it'd be great to see the two of them in a room together, wouldn't it?
Boycott: "All right your 'ighness! Bet you 'aven't gorra clue what's going on, 'ave yer?"
D of Ed: "Eeeeee - I pleeyed a lot of crickit at school, ye little oik!"
Boycott: "Yer c'udn't 'av. You're Greek, you! Don't think I've 'eard of Greece in Test cricket, not unless it were slicked through Freddie Trueman's hair!"
And Tuffers is just plain funny and doesn't mind playing himself up either. CMJ often sounds like he doesn't know whether to get Tuffers' thoughts on Panesar's line of attack or simply ask him to if he could bring tea and tiffin in during the next change of ends .
How refreshing it is to not be constantly thwacked around the ears by the public school conveyor belt of opinion which all too often resorts to a clubby little chat over all sorts of obscure garbage - like the commentary's coming from Lord Snooty and his pals.
Which school has provided the most left-arm over bowlers in England's history? Who had the all-time Varsity record for catches taken whilst carrying a partridge? And whatever happened to that once-vital position, made notorious by the Aussie scallywag Walter Crudley, of silly third leg?
And with Aggers in nominal charge of the caked-up rabble, what could possibly be better? So unless I can lay me hands on a ticket to join the Western Terracists, I'll be curled up next to some more TMS come Friday. And whatever you do, Fred, sir, stay well!
I'm Derek Robson. People call me Robbo. Legend has it I was raised in the furnace and smog of Teesside. Some might say I took the hard road. I like to tell folk I had trials for Middlesbrough, for Hartlepool and for burglary (not guilty). I've always loved sport. My job is to say it as I see it - whether it's in the bar of the Blue Bell or on this blog. You won't find me calling a spade a soil-redistribution implement.
© MMIX~RS~q~RS~~RS~z~RS~33~RS~)
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Everyone bangs on and on about Flintoff, and he can be an excellent player. A talisman at times, even if his batting has gone down the pan. However, the real England bowling star of that Ashes series is on the return too.
Simon Jones is the quickest and most devastating England bowler available. If changes are being made to the bowling lineup, then he should be ahead of Flintoff in the pecking order.
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Its simple drop Vaughan...he has been in terrible form...offers nothing with bat or ball and needs a kick up the rear to remind him he's not bullit proof from the selectors!
Make Strauss captain and bring Freddie back. I would like to see Bopara or Shah in as well and that agreed Robbo would be at the expense of Colly...
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Drop Vaughan and Collingwood they need some time the middle at the county level, replace with Freddie and Shah, also with sidebottom not 100% bring in Jones as he can be devisatating.
The starting line-up should be:
Strauss (c)
Cook
Bell
Pietersen
Shah
Prior (Wk)
Flintoff
Broad
Jones
Anderson
Panesar
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This article is not about the selection of Michael Vaughan. Go and start another duffer thead if thats the axe you want to grind.
Do you hear the saffers screaming for Kallis' scalp after his low score?
I agree on all points, especially TMS and Tuffers, however, if I hear Aggers tell me what school Broad went to again I think I will sue the BBC for illegal advertising.
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Drop Monty, spinners don't take wickets at Headingly
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Agree entirely re TMS - I don't often listen but I thought they were good value this last test match; and I agree with post #1, Simon Jones was the star of that Ashes bowling attack for me - so if he's fit enough, he's worth a shout.
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Arsenal (#5), the myth that spinners don't take wickets at Headingley should be forgotten.
I was at Headingley a couple of years ago to see Monty take three vital wickets on the last day to help England beat Pakistan (including such terrible players of spin as Younis Khan and Inzy). He'd also taken 3 in the first innings.
Granted he only took 1 last year against the Windies but that hardly counts as he only bowled 7 overs (the abject Windies were twice bowled out for less than 150 in a massive Innings and 280 run defeat) so the seamers did the trick. However, the Saffers will almost certainly prove much stiffer opposition and over the last two days we will probably need Monty.
It also means he can tie up one end so Fred doesn't have to bowl long spells and risk breaking down again.
Always have a balanced attack, mate - you need someone for all the possible conditions over the five days.
p.s. young Mr Rashid doesn't do too badly there either.
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Arsenal, you might want to check Monty's record at Headingley - which includes 6 wickets in one test against Pakistan in 2006 (including 3-39 in the second innings), and then against the West Indies in 2007 he bowled only 7 overs in the entire match as we skittled them cheaply twice.
So in two tests Monty has 7 wickets at Headingley, and he only bowled 7 overs in one of those.
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Idiots - Drop Vaughan? Are you mad?
He's the best captain of the Test side since Mike Brearley!
And whoever said drop Monty needs a frontal lobotomy. He'll be excellent - just you wait and see.
Collingwood has to go. Broad looks to be as good a batter and should bat higher up than Fred.
End of story
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Simple decision, the way Broad has been batting put him at six, Flintoff at seven, Ambrose at eight.
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It was £20 for Monday - it was dull but if you're with your mates, it's fine!
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Spot on Robbo. TMS has surely got to be the greatest radio programme we got.
Tough one on who to drop. I think either Sidebottom or Colly could be dropped, but if you drop Sidebottom then would that leave the attack too inexperienced? Broad and Anderson are slowly becoming quality test bowlers, but they are not there yet. That puts even more pressure on Freddie in his first game back.
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Especially hilarious today, Robbo ;)
Loved the Chelsea cellar reference and the Boycott repartee!
Fred's got to be in for Colly, Jones for Broady and Prior for the short'un. Ruthless and effective, me thinks.
Tickets are prohibitively expensive - would've liked to have sneaked into the Lord's dining room for a snack, though and a wee dram of
what Sir Geoffrey was imbibing....
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Talented Freddie and the ever reliable Prior have done well in the past. Matt can bat.
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Quite simply do the following....
Colly out (out of form) - Freddie in
Sidey out (unfit) - Hoggard in
Ambrose out (not good enough) - Foster in
Anderson out (inconsistent) - Jones in
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Hang on, what about switching the bowlers around to look like:
Flintoff
Hoggard
S Jones
Harmison
Its the first time this has been possible since 2005! Sidey is unfit, Jimmy would be unlucky, Broad would cope...
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yeah
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