It's come to this, boys and girls. Thierry Henry, a man who lit up our league with runs so mazy you'd expect to find them at Hampton Court, the King of the Va Va Voom, charming, eloquent, possibly a bit up himself but you can forgive that... a player whose cut-in-from-the-left-curl-it-in-to-the-far-corner finishes almost have his patent on it, has cheated his team into the World Cup finals.
I'm in a state of utter shock. I remember Henry getting flak for a 'dive' in the 2006 World Cup to win a free-kick from which France scored a winner against Spain and I gave him the benefit of the doubt. Well, not anymore.
It's not good enough to say 'I handled it, but I'm not the referee.' It's like an admission of guilt from a petty thief when he knows it's too late for the police to arrest him.
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Poor wee Georgie Burley. He never really convinced, and there was always summat a bit whining about his pre and post-match conferences that suggested being a member of his squad might mean you ended the week chewing legs of tables as Burley whirred on at you.
Nevertheless, there is no doubt that even with Derren Brown and David Blaine up front, this Scotland team couldn't conjure a win from anywhere right now. And the reason is simple. They're more than a bit hopeless.
If James McFadden is your major creative force then you're in deep doo-dah. Johnstone, Dalglish, Souness, Gemmill - they all seem a lifetime ago. If you're Scottish, thank the Lord the Home Internationals aren't still on.
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I can't help feeling sad for the lad Luke Young, having revealed that he doesn't want to play international football anymore at the age of 29.
Undoubtedly these are difficult times for him having lost a much-loved brother over the summer. Nevertheless he apparently made his decision in February. Aston Villa are said to be annoyed by the enquiry as to his availability but I am not sure they need to be.
Speaking as someone who still occasionally wakes from a euphoric dream in which a fit and fleet Robbo has been plucked from obscurity to replace a shot-shy Lampard or a groin-tugged Gerrard during a vital World Cup fixture - and gone on to curl home the winner from 25 yards - I find it right difficult to understand why any player wouldn't want to pull on that jersey.
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