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In a dark, dark town, there was a dark, dark street

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…in that dark, dark street there lived a dark, dark man, who’d spent years evading the cops and the best efforts of a certain DCI. But things were about to get even darker for this master of the criminal underworld, in ways he could never imagine…


…And luckily for us, it all happened at Halloween!  Anyone else scared witless by this week’s goings on in Shieldinch, the new Fear Capital of Scotland? What with new gangsters roaming the streets, ghosts and ghouls wandering aimlessly through the local pub, and Wee Bob a shadow of his former self, there’s plenty to be scared of on Montego Street at the moment.


First in the fear-factor line up, Gareth. Now we’ve never met a Gareth who’s managed to scare the beejesus out of us before, but man alive, this one managed it. This reckless crazy cat had no foibles about busting Lenny Murdoch’s chops, stealing all his money and mouthing back at The DCI. And we don’t even want to think about those freaky masks. But worst of all, WORST of all, he thinks it’s okay to beat on a poor defenceless old woman.  Good ole Molly, giving him what for, but that might have been her downfall. Just watch it Gareth, we’ve got your number. As Craig said, everyone’s got a Granny…


But it was Lenny who was in trouble when his MS secret finally came back to haunt him. And it fell into the worst possible hands – Craig has been holding out for the weakness he could use to bring Lenny down…and he finally found it at the worst possible moment. But The DCI is no fool – he knows how to play the long game. And now we’ve got a whole new - and surely dangerous - pact between these once deadly foes.


But one face we NEVER expected to see again was a certain Shady Sean, back from the dead. Thankfully, this was just a freaky figment of Raymondo’s grief-stricken and emotionally drained imagination…or was it?! The Ship now holds so many nightmare memories for Raymond; it’s no surprise that going back there proved so difficult for him and Stevie. And he had his own demons to deal with (Billy The Butcher’s torture chamber, anyone?) but Stevie Burns Shieldinch Superhero™ was determined to make this work for Raymond’s sake. Given Raymondo’s foetal position in the bathroom after his run-in with a ghoulish Shady Sean, we’re pretty sure nothing Stevie does can make this better right now…


(By the way, when we come back as ghosts to spook the corridors of RC Towers, we want to have the soundtrack of Thriller too. That’s cool. If anyone starts playing Monster Mash we’ll be right back to haunt you.)


Next week – DING DONG THE BELLS ARE GONNA CHIME! It’s time for Wibby to get hitched!  But Edward’s back in town, and that can surely only mean bad bad things… love is definitely in the air, but will anyone else get bitten by the bug?


Quote of the week:

This week, another classic made better by Stevie’s reactions...


Zinnie: Halloween Resurrection? What, like zombies? You should just wear an old suit, some fake blood. Go as a dead gangster.


Oh Stevie’s face. Just Stevie’s face. Always.

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