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Bobtrainman

Listed below are comments made by Bobtrainman between Tuesday, 28th October 2008 and Monday, 1st December 2008.

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Map of the Week - Community Life 1:54pm on 01 Dec 2008 I think we shouldn't forget the absence of the male in family life and the ever-increasing trend towards single life, with or without children.

Social Services would regard a 16 year-old girl with a baby as a 'family unit'. The recent awful case in Sheffield and here in Lincolnshire highlighted that no-one asked about a 'father of the baby(ies)'. Anyone old enough to remember the CSA ?

My Son is married to his Wife but when she recently gave birth, he was counted as one of the two visitors at the bedside. Fair enough, but when his Wife went to the bathroom, he picked up his Daughter and walked about the ward. Immediately there was panic amongst the nursing staff and he was questioned about his relationship to the child ! If officialdom does not recognise old-fashioned families, how can surveys like this possibly be acted upon ?

Sad that we have to be so over-protective and yet achieve less than before the legislation arrived. Relationships are very hard work (hope my Wife doesn't read this!) but opting out in favour of future loneliness is not the answer.

Bob
Is depression an embarrassment? 8:13pm on 28 Oct 2008 My breakdown came in 1989 and lasted until 2003 when I found a new job and met my new boss who taught in a male prison. No disrespect to the inmates but if she could make the hardest criminals speak to her then I was probably an easy subject.

My experience tells me that you have three sorts of friends.

1. Those who steer clear of mental illness sufferers as people they do not want to know about. Kiss them goodbye.

2. Those who know exactly what you are going through because they have been there - and there are a lot of those ! Keep them close.

3. Those who don't understand but to them you are the same bloke you always were. Stick with them as they are diamonds !

My previous employers in 1989 were very good but eventually I had to give up a good career with a contributory pension scheme. Hard yes, but I am now a different person and I no longer feel the need to take responsibility for the whole world. I am still great friends with stress and probably always will be but I am happy !!!

I would like to see better support groups and I would be happy to, as I am already, assist those still in the depths of despair. In 1989, the hospital sent me home to 'get well' which was impossible since my Wife had panicked about our future and sought a job after 14 years at home. Being on your own is the worst scenario; okay you maybe don't want to speak to them but you still need someone there for you. Depression and anxiety remove your natural limits; you feel like a jelly that won't set. You cannot rationalise anything, least of all the immediate future.

Bob
Stickney
Lincolnshire

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