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jimthegeezer

Listed below are comments made by jimthegeezer between Saturday, 11th October 2008 and Wednesday, 24th December 2008.

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We are the banks 09:39am on 24 Dec 2008 Double or Quits!

Gordon Brown says to Mervyn King, "Could you help me Mervyn? I'm a bit short of money at the moment. I've taken on this business of saving the world, and a prime minister's expense account goes nowhere these days."

Mervyn says, "Well we're not doing much on loans these days, you know, but I'll make an exception for you. What sort of money were you thinking of?"

Brown says, "A hundred thousand, Mervyn."

Mervyn says, "That's an awful lot all at once....."

"Well, I'll tell you what I'll do," says Brown,"I'll open a savings account with you, and when you lend me the hundred thousand, I'll put it all in my savings account, and draw on it when I need it. And the interest on the savings can go to help pay off the loan, you see."

Mervyn hums and ha's a bit, and says, "Well Gordon, as your Bank Manager, I have to ask you, when would you be expecting to pay all this off?"
Brown declares, "When I've saved the world, of course."

"But Gordon," says Mervyn, "what will you do if you don't save the world before you spend all the money? or if we have a general election before then?"

"Well that's easy," says Gordon. "In that case you lend me two hundred thousand. Then I pay off the first loan, and fill up my savings account, and we go on from there."

Mervyn thinks about it and says "Well that seems reasonable, Gordon. I'll make it a hundred thousand pounds available to you right away. There now."

"Pounds!" says Brown. "I was talking about MILLIONS!"
A global solution needed 2:21pm on 11 Oct 2008 Crisis? What crisis?

Mervyn King comes up to Gordon Brown and says, "I'm in terrible trouble! the Bank of England is nearly broke! I've only enough for next month's salaries and if I can't pay the rates, Boris'll be mad at me, and there's nothing coming in! What'll I do?"

Gordon thinks for a moment and says "Don't worry Mervyn. This is easy. Two things: first of all, don't tell anybody else. Second thing: get your printing presses going and print up as much money as you need. I can't really get any more off the taxpayers, you know."

Mervyn says, "That's a great idea Gordon! Why didn't we do this sooner! But, " he says, "supposing somebody comes to me with a twenty pound note, and says 'Can you give me twenty real pounds for this note, like it says on it?' - and I haven't got the money?"

Gordon says, "Well that could be a problem. I tell you what," he goes on," You can fix it with a wee change in the notes. Where it says 'Promise to pay the bearer...' just put 'We'll do our best...'"

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