BBC Blog Network

User Profile

veralidaine

Listed below are comments made by veralidaine between Friday, 20th June 2008 and Wednesday, 8th October 2008.

«Newer
Older»

Toilets, farts, hair and what 'must be done' 6:28pm on 08 Oct 2008 As the token AB in the room, I'll cop to not realizing how many things go along with disability until I entered the disability blogosphere and made some friends. But I think this all goes back to the same damn misconception that leads ABs to think people with disabilities don't have sex, or even big sloppy makeout sessions.

I'm not sure exactly what the root of that is, but I think it has to do with some sort of denial reflex. Some people find the idea of acquiring a disability so scary that they keep a solid chunk of emotional brick in between them and anyone with a serious disability, so as to be able to hang onto the idea that, "This will never happen to me!"

So many questions. Whyis it more scary to be disabled than to age, when age IS a disability? Why can people buy a house and plan ahead for kids even if they're not seeing anyone, but can't plan ahead by buying an accessible house in case they ever have a friend who uses a wheelchair visit?

So many things wrong with our society, not least of which is the ability to laugh at an able-bodied man's farts and see them as a crude form of humorous communication, yet pretend the disabled person farting in the corner doesn't exist. I think that would hurt much more than having a bodily function laughed off.
PWD's: SHUT UP! You're not inspirational enough! 6:03pm on 20 Jun 2008 Took me a few days to make it over here and comment... hope it's worth the wait (ha).

I remember hearing about that book, My Stroke of Insight, and while I am glad that she recovered well, I think it may be in some ways harmful. The book itself as far as I can tell from what I was told about it doesn't glaze over the stroke and the time during which she was severely impaired by its effects, but it does use a lot of uncomfortable language and inaccurate generalizations.

One line that stuck out to my SO's mother, whose father is a stroke survivor and cannot stand or use a bathroom on his own was, "I was happy even though I was drooling," referring to the author's state of contentment following her stroke. I don't like that. Maybe I am being too picky, but do you have to have a stroke to be happy even while drooling? Some people don't have great swallow function and yes, sometimes those people will drool-- and it's not good to plant the idea that they must be cognitively impaired if, even though they're drooling, they're happy.

I also think it gives some false hope to families of people who have had major strokes. Her recovery was unusual, and while the book seems to offer good advice on caregiving and helping a stroke survivor regain old memories and create new ones, I fear that families and caregivers might expect her results in their own loved ones, when it's really just not that common after such a major stroke. I can just see a family member thrust into caregiving by a stroke becoming angry and accusing a stroke survivor of intentionally refusing to recover.

«Newer
Older»

^ Back to top

BBC MMVI

The BBC is not responsible for the content of external internet sites

BBC.co.uk

BBC Blog Network

Find and talk to the BBC's bloggers.

User Profile

veralidaine