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clodaghrubbish

Listed below are comments made by clodaghrubbish between Tuesday, 1st December 2009 and Wednesday, 2nd December 2009 (5 Hours Ago) .

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Bonjour Madames et Monsieurs. . . 11:16pm on 02 Dec 2009 ..or disgracefully, MTF..

Marvellous.

Clodagh.xx
Bonjour Madames et Monsieurs. . . 11:02pm on 02 Dec 2009 Indeed, Beez! That sounds like the way I want carryin' off.

Or maybe strapped to a bi-plane wit me goggles an' flyin' helmet on. Hurrah!!

Knowin' my luck, mind, I'll get run over in me jammys by a milk-float.

Clodagh.xx
Bonjour Madames et Monsieurs. . . 10:55pm on 02 Dec 2009 Absolutely right, MTF.

Just a thought, though.

I don't know about you, but I intend to 'ave a damn good attempt at gettin' as old as I can.

Who was it said, "The alternative is too bleak.."??

Clodagh.xx
Bonjour Madames et Monsieurs. . . 10:41pm on 02 Dec 2009 Indeed, Deev; don't let her get to you.

I well remember a few years back, being drafted into one of the major ladieswear houses on a short contract to assist a brilliant young designer, who had had all the confidence battered out of her at the hands of the ageing lady boss, bitterly resentful as she was that the board had decreed they wanted fresh blood to lower the age of the customer base. This woman was a notorious and classic bully, and reduced Lizzy to tears virtually every day. When I arrived I found a design room full of dour, stressed people, fearful for their jobs; and of course, being the type of eejit who will fight to the death on someone else's behalf, and knowing I was only there for the short-term with little to lose, I took the boss full-on, whilst Lizzy got on with producing her brilliant and beautiful designs. It wore me down eventually, of course, and I was only slightly less relieved to leave at the end of my contract than the said nightmare boss; but such mmories as the face on 'er as I appeared in the boardroom with me storyboards and bouncy, flashin' snowmen on me head, doctored up with a sprig a mistletoe, coupled with the lovely friends I still have from that time, I wouldn't trade for anything. So keep your spirit and your integrity, sunshine. The world is a dour enough place at the moment, it needs the likes of you.

Now where's that cuppa.

Clodagh.xx
Bonjour Madames et Monsieurs. . . 10:20pm on 02 Dec 2009 Ah tanks girls, yes she's fine, joking apart, am relieved. It's not nice for the aul wans is it, when they hit the deck like that. Fortunately Renee has a more robust spirit and sense of humour than the rest of her so she'll survive. It'll be ME losin' the will to live.

But can I have it on record that the shiner is on her right hand side. I am right-handed, therefore use the fryin' pan with me right hand. Therefore am NOT responsible. Am SO goin' to be reported to Social Services at this rate.

And I forgive that cheeky young whipper-snapper doctor who responded to that by sayin "Ah yes, but you might have a damn fine backhand.."

Anyway, tanks again, am off for a well-needed decent cuppa, not in a plastic cup. Ah NO, RIP Blanche.

And. All this fuss the papers are makin' over Tiger Woods; In the words of Roy Keane, GET OVER IT.

Clodagh.xx
Bonjour Madames et Monsieurs. . . 9:58pm on 02 Dec 2009 Well Blinky blimey by the crin.

As I was sayin' earlier; have spent the day with Renee. But not torturin' bed shop assistants, oh no.

In A&E.

Yup. Once again she's fell on 'er 'ead. This time in the bath. Seems she decided to try out some evil-smellin' bubbly bath tincture plus a dash a Olbas Oil (natch) without first securin' the bath-mat, and SPLAT. Triple Salko straight on to 'er engine room. By the time I've sprinted up the stairs in response to the squelchy thud, she's there, legs akimbo, cursin' about the lack of suction on the bat-mat an' roarin' at me to turn the shower off. I swear. Gettin 'er outa there was like wrestlin' a baby walrus covered in syrup.

Any road up. 12 hours, several doctors and a CT scan later she's back in 'er reclinin' chair with what started out a comedy egg on her head, which has now morphed into a lovely big purple shiner. And delighted wit herself that the nurses liked 'er funky leopard-print cardi, an' the doctor refused to believe she was 86. Me, I was delighted 'e told 'er the good news that there was nowt in 'er 'ead.

"I've bin' sayin' that for years.." says I lividly under me breath.

So. Time for the aul John Lennon Mantra.

Life is what ruddy 'appens to yous when yous are busy makin' other plans.

Or words to that effect.

Aw bless, look at 'er. She'll 'ave to wear 'er 'at at a jaunty angle tomorrow alright.

Clodagh. (Who is SO not goin' to Heaven.)xx
Bonjour Madames et Monsieurs. . . 11:33am on 02 Dec 2009 Oooo Deev hun, we can't 'ave that. Stand by your phone. Hurrah.

C.xxx
Bonjour Madames et Monsieurs. . . 11:31am on 02 Dec 2009 Oh yes, tanks a million chaps for your kind comments on the evidence a my grippin' poor Christophe Lambie-Pie like the Boston Strangler, bless me.

Look. It's not MY fault. When yous get to my age an' a chap stands still for longer than 5 seconds, yous 'ave to go for it. If I 'adn't bin' surrounded wit other big burly chaps I'd 'ave rugby-tackled 'im an' kissed 'im to within an inch of 'is life, the big aul daft streak a ginger Adonis.

Clodagh.xx
Bonjour Madames et Monsieurs. . . 11:25am on 02 Dec 2009 Mornin' Christoff. As Bingo would say, Whatta coincidence!!!

A new bed is exackly what I'm gettin' for Renee, and boy am I havin' to psyche meself up for it.

I have suggested we order the thing on line or I'll go sort it out but she's adamant she wants to go round every bed shop in the North-West, torturin' an' bamboozlin' the poor assistants to within an inch a their lives, an' plonkin' 'erself down with a thud on every bed, thumpin' 'em like she's trapped an angry ferret therein, an' leppin' up an' down in a way she'd never dream of in the privacy of her own bedroom. While I stand there, arms folded, sayin' "Look. I've 'ad this for 54 years. You can stand it for 20 minutes."

And lord help us if any of 'em get ambitious an' suggest one a them remote-controlled beds that unpredictably spring to life, nearly projectin' 'er mate Joan right out the window an' into the garden right in the middle a Midsomer Murders, then almost immediately folded back on itself, leavin' 'er fumin' an' roarin' for the window-cleaner.

Am not goin' there. Oh no. Besides, the next-door neighbour has a pacemaker, am not bein' held accountable when she interferes with it, tryin' to change channels with the remote.

By the crin.

Any road up. Now then. This dessert conundrum. Hows about the chocolate mayonnaise cake wit a nice dollop a custard. Not for the noncy feint-hearted, sticks to the ribs that one. Oh yes. One mouthful a that an' yous'll look like one a them Galapagos turtles at ruttin' time.

Clodagh.xx
Cripes on a bike, now it is really cold out there... 9:36pm on 01 Dec 2009 Hahahahahaha aw stop it Rips. How embarrassin'. Sill, I did promise...

C.xx

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