Amanda
is editing tonight.
Yesterday her voice was going a bit...there was a lot of honey and things.
Today it's almost gone. Barely a whisper, but very husky. She sounds like Fenella Fielding in a library.
When she answers the phone she whispers "I'm sorry, I'm losing my voice".
But she is soldiering on to make PM the best she can.
She is the best of British.
I am going to look for a flag to put here. Hang on.
Found one.
Listen to PM
© MMX~RS~q~RS~~RS~z~RS~46~RS~)
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All together now:
F F G E. F G_
A A Bb A. G F_
G F E F_ (F G A B)
C C C C. Bb A
Bb Bb Bb Bb. A G
A. Bb A G F G. A Bb
C Bb A G F_
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mittfh (1):
Isn't that part of the script from series 2, episode 3 of Open All Hours?
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F F F F F Fetch a cloth!
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If her voice is that husky, shouldn't that be 'smouldering' on?
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Looks like there'll be a lot of people on Amanda in the recent comments. Hope the poor girl doesn't mind.....
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Three cheers for Amanda and her fighting spirit!
Mittfh was that a deliberate B natural, it does add an interesting twist to the tune!
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Well, that's what happens when you attempt to 'play' the tune on a desk, relying on memory for the notes, rather than in front of an actual piano / (musical) keyboard...
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Eddie,
You mean Mariella Frostrup don't you - not Ms Fielding.
Get Amanda to say..."hello I'm Mariella Frostrup" and you'll see what I mean.
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Well I like it mittfh - it's rather daring!
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Mittfh,
I recognise the national anthem when I...er...see it!
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Of course, I could have added an Ab and turned it into the melodic minor :)
(Considers sparing a thought for non-musicians, but decides to let the thread hijack stand)
What do you get if you drop a piano on an army officer?
A flat Major
What do you announce beforehand?
"Be flat, Major!"
What do you say afterwards?
"See flat Major!"
Of course, the joke can also work if the piano's dropped on a coal extraction facility (with subtly different results!)
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I hope you're all standing while you post here! :)
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Well done mittfh!! God save her indeed!
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Mittfh (11)
If you drop a piano on a coal extraction worker I thought you got
"A minor diminished"
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fjd - that does sometimes happen. More usually you just get a flat miner.
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Sid (15)
Thats just what I told the officer,
"A flat minor major"
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He said,
"Couldn't the piano have been sustained"
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I said,
"I'd just got out of hospital with mi false set toe"
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He said,
"Did you try and 'improvise'".
I said "yes but we ended up Jammin' it".
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Please somebody stope me!
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A pianist and singer are rehearsing "Autumn Leaves" for a concert and the pianist says:
"OK. We will start in G minor and then on the third bar, modulate to B major and go into 5/4. When you get to the bridge, modulate back down to F# minor and alternate a 4/4 bar with a 7/4 bar. On the last A section go into double time and slowly modulate back to G minor."
The singer says: "Wow, I don't think I can remember all of that."
The pianist says: "Well, that's what you did last time."
Piano Tuner: I've come to tune the piano.
Music Teacher: But we didn't send for you.
Piano Tuner: No, but the people who live across the street did.
There was a pianist named Dougherty
who played on a piano-forte.
He played on and on,
made the audience yawn,
and died when he was about forty.
There once was a pianist named Damon
wrote a limerick he thought was a great one.
But his friends and associates
thought it quite atrocious,
so they bade him go back to his playin'.
A note left for a pianist from his wife:
Gone Chopin, (have Liszt), Bach in a Minuet.
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Joe - Get off Amanda NOW!!!!! :o)))
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Why was the piano invented?
So the musician would have a place to put his beer.
Why is an 11-foot concert grand better than a studio upright?
Because it makes a much bigger kaboom when dropped over a cliff.
What do you call a fish musician?
A piano tuna.
he audience at a piano recital were appalled when a telephone rang just off stage. Without missing a note the soloist glanced toward the wings and called, "If that's my agent, tell him I'm working!"
Now here's one to sort the true musicians (guitarists are probably at a distinct advantage) from those playing around:
Three notes, a C, an Eb, and a G go into a bar. The bartender says: "Sorry, but we don't serve minors." So, the Eb leaves, and the C and the G have an open fifth between them. After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished: the G is out flat. An F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but is not sharp enough.
A D comes into the bar and heads straight for the bathroom saying, "Excuse me. I'll just be a second." An A comes into the bar, but the bartender is not convinced that this relative of C is not a minor. Then the bartender notices a B-flat hiding at the end of the bar and exclaims: "Get out now! You're the seventh minor I've found in this bar tonight."
The Eb, not easily deflated, comes back to the bar the next night in a 3-piece suit with nicely shined shoes. The bartender says: "You're looking sharp tonight, come on in! This could be a major development." This proves to be the case, as the Eb takes off the suit, and everything else, and stands there au natural.
Eventually, the C sobers up, and realizes in horror that he's under a rest. The C is brought to trial, is found guilty of contributing to the diminution of a minor, and is sentenced to 10 years of DS without Coda at an upscale correctional facility. On appeal, however, the C is found innocent of any wrongdoing, even accidental, and that all accusations to the contrary are bassless.
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I love getting pm newsletters, but shall be very glad if and when the jokes stop. Sometimes they're longer than the newsletter. Not what I signed up to.
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Women are like pianos. When they're not upright, they're grand.
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fjd: "Fenella Fielding (born 17 November 1934)[1] - "England's first lady of the double entendre"[2] is an English actress popular in the 1950s and 1960s and known chiefly for her seductive image and distinctively husky voice."
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From today's PM Newsletter:
"Explosion in Huddersfield Pie Factory.
3.14159 people dead"
Well, I guess it's fiction...
22 / 7 = 3.14285714 etc, etc, etc
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Three Cheers for Amanda !!
Better than listening to Sarah Montague whingeing about the weather in our only decent weather month of the entire year..
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fjd (20): "Please somebody stope me!"
Really?
Stope (n): An excavation in the form of steps made by the mining of ore from steeply inclined or vertical veins.
(Sorry, couldn't resist!)
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Which just goes to show, mittfh, that Joe really wanted to get down. ;)
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Is Amanda feeling any better?
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Is it true that Amanda was feeling a little hoarse?
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Sid
...horse.
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My best wishes for Amanda and her excellent work on the edition of PM...
~Dennis Junior~
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Sounds like the first sign of swine flu Eddie. She can given a blow by blow account (geddit?) as an OB from her London bed-sit.
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Oh, I wish.
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Anyway, on with the music:
How do you stop a violin from being stolen?
Store it in a viola case!
The organ is the instrument of worship, for in its sounding we sense the Majesty of God, and in its ending we know the Grace of God.
Why is a bassoon better than an oboe?
It burns longer.
What is an oboe good for?
Setting a bassoon on fire.
What is the range of a tuba?
Twenty yards if you've got a good arm!
A drummer, sick of all the drummer jokes, decides to change his instrument. After some thought, he decides on the accordion. So he goes to the music store and says to the owner, "I'd like to look at the accordions, please."
The owner gestures to a shelf in the corner and says "All our accordions are over there."
After browsing, the drummer says, "I think I'd like the big red one in the corner."
The store owner looks at him and says, "You're a drummer, aren't you?"
The drummer, crestfallen, says, "How did you know?"
The store owner says, "That `big red accordion' is the radiator."
What's the difference between a soprano and a terrorist?
You can negotiate with a terrorist.
What do you see if you look up a soprano's skirt?
A tenor.
How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?
Four. One to change the bulb and three to bitch that they could have done it if they had the high notes.
Oh, in case you're wondering, there's a nice collection of musical jokes here (and despite being a professional violist himself, he's dedicated an entire page to viola jokes...)
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