The Beach.
"Welcome to The Beach, a very special place on the PM Blog. The sun shines, the drinks are free, there are more than enough sun loungers and hammocks to go round, and the camels are friendly. So, take a break from your day to day stresses and strains and relax.
There are only two rules; 1) be nice to everyone, and 2) don't eat the petunias."


~RS~q~RS~~RS~z~RS~48~RS~)
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Have I been here all night? Yikes!
I'll leave some porridge bubbling on the NC Bar for you sleepyheads, with orange juice, while I go off for an early swim.
...or is it early enough to count as a very late swim?
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Morning Feefs, love your new cozzy but surely sea water will disolve.....OH.... MY....... GOODNESS!
*quickly looks away*
Nice porridge btw!
DiY :-D
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SPLASH!!!
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Sid! You did that deliberately didn't you!
Here you go Feefs
*holds out big fluffy towel*
Wow, nice Beaver
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I am so glad the Beavers have taken to the beach!
Camels are fine but you can't beat a good Beaver for generating piles of wood for the camp fire.
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Eddie - was it Isaac Newton who conceived the laws of graffiti..?
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DiY how comfortable is it on that Naughty Step? Because I fear you may be there for some time...... :-P
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I refer the Hon. Froggers to this song by Burnd:
http://www.online-literature.com/robert-burns/2458/
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Argh. BurnS. With an S.
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Frances!
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Yes?
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Hamas is that doggie in the window...
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YooHoo...
*waves from the Naughty Step*
When it comes to lunchtime can someone get me a portion of fish and chips a can Irn Bru?
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Anyone got a snorkel handy? I fancy taking a dip to see if I can spot any Histiophryne psychedelica...
Meanwhile, IRL I'm sure I can see a strange bright yellow disc in the sky - I'm sure I've seen it before, but it's been so long I can't quite remember its name...
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MrsEff(12) Hamas: Isn't that what geordies use to bang in nails?
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Nah... mittfh it is a steet light at the bottom of your road!
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FF (15) Talking of geordies, of Paul Gascoigne and his friend 'Five Bellies', which was Fatah?
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Fred Gan Canny with them accents.
Diy Does the Irn Bru can not explode in the fryer?
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There you go DiY - I have your fish and Chips but there's a bit of a twist - they were prepared by the Masterch*f finalists. Hope you don't mind pan-fried jellyfish with a seaweed tuile and a side order of sea cucumber chips. Plus a can of especially selected Irish seawater (it's very like Irn Bru, I believe)
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DIY (16) - since when were streetlights several miles high? I have a vague recollection the disc in question shares its name with a tabloid newspaper, but I can't quite place the name...
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If you've only got a hamas, every problem is rael?
;-)
ed
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TIH (17): Not forgetting their pronunciation of "Yee-hah!" when mounting their steeds comes across as "Ji-had!"
I'll get my coat...
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mittfh - You're quite right. Streetlights are sometimes attached to Daily Telegraph poles.
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Mittfh, Is it a Daily Mirror?
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GM (19): Reminds me of a bottle of shower gel I bought recently said to contain "Volcanic extracts". The only ingredient I could spot that wasn't common with other gels was "Maris Aqua" (seawater). Similarly, "Sea minerals" translates as "Maris Sal" (sea salt), although puzzlingly it was listed separately from Sodium Chloride...
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Thinking about it, I'm sure the name of this mysterious disc I can see rhymes with "Currant Bun"....
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Eddie,
The chef is showing me his speciality - I wish he wouldn't do that...!!
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mittfh is it the Daily Wail?
anyhoo, lurve the lunch gossipmistress!
Can I get down off the Naughty Step now?
I wont mention Beavers again!
DiY :-)
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What ho!
See what you miss when you're not around for a few days? A double whammy of Beach introduction and tag-line. Goodness, I may need lie down in a darkened Gin and Tonic...
;o) []
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Diy Someone on the book of faces place has felt teddy's (though the apostrophe was missing)
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I'm sorry I shall have to leave y'all to your puns, am off fiddling (not a banking conference) have a lovely weekend and see you sunday!!
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Who nicked the sand?
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Mrs Edd (27) - Make sure he washes his hands.
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Mrs Eff - You make sure as well.
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Stewart M - I hope Teddy didn't mind ;o)
Did he feel a bit cold? He might have done, if he was a little bear.
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Yipee I have escaped the Naughty Step!
Those Froggers that use the book of faces place know that we have two cats.
Mrs DiY has just called to say her Pussy is damp. I have told her to nip outside and let the sunshine dry it out. But if it is not dry by the time I get home there is an old towel in the garage she could use to give it a rub down.
DiY :-D
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DIY (5):
Camels are fine but you can't beat a good Beaver...
Rubbish, I beat mine regularly. How else can you get them all light and fluffy?
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My wife's beaver was buried in the beach and she asked me to dig it out. When I asked what was in it for me if I did her that favour, she replied "SAND"
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Anyone not on the naughty step?
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Dear all,
Hope you like this week picture of Glen Moar beach. Yup, it's the sunny Isle of Man again..
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TssC! Have any idea the mental image that conjours up!
And I bet the RSPB aren't too happy either!
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Thanks to the earlier activity by the Beach Beavers I have now gathered enough fire wood to keep us all warm on the Naughty Step this eveing.
As Stewart M has so far remained untainted by the outrageous behaviour he can shuttle the nibbles, goodies and drinkies from NC's to us!
Good on yer Stew!
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Right, on my way with the nibbles (I originally had that spelt with a double p).
Apparently these beavers are edible.
So shuffle up on that step.
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Gobbling everything in sight, eh?
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Just thought I'd check out the beach as I'm so in need of a wind down after such an awful week BUT the naughtiness! What's got into you all? DI_Wyman at 36! Plus all this talk about beavers! Glad you are already on the naughty sand dune-step! Think you should wash your keyboard out with seaweed.
Or, perhaps we should suggest an underlap of 100 meters of the sea? That would be swimming Australian crawl, upside down.
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Lady-Sue.....100 meters of the sea....
I thought this Beach was powered by solar panels, not tidal energy ;o)
No wonder DIWyman takes so many dips - he has to keep putting fifty pences in!!
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Roll up, Roll up, fifty p a go, rummage in DiY's Speedos and help to keep the Beach alight!
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Hey, Frogs, the News Quiz has stolen your tune.
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More News Quiz overspill. Almost as funny as old ISIHAC:
Round our way, there was a huge bloke with a Steptoe overcoat, an open disposition and a busted zip who used to hang out here, with his appendage doing much the same. He who used to walk the streets shouting like Dom Joly but without a mobile phone.
I phoned social services.
'What do you expect us to do about it?'
I suggested an underpants distribution but they said it wasn't in any of their briefs.
One summer a friend was working as a Park Ranger in Bristol.
A woman with a pram waved him down.
'I think I ought to tell you. A man popped out of the rhododendrons over there by the Camera Oscura, and flashed me'
'My goodness, how terrible for you, whatever did you do'
'Well, I said 'Is that all you've got to show? If my husband only had that, he'd be ashamed of himself' I hope he's all right, is all. He bunched himself back in painfully, I thought, and rushed back into the bushes'
He'd been a Downs regular but was never seen again. At least, a little less was seen of him from then on.
I think the Spike M. joke should be spiked.
Spike has his back to the camera, walking away., opening his mac to every woman whom he passes. They all run off screaming. Eventually he turns to us and flashes the full length mirror he has tied to him.
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I'm not on the Naughty Step. I've been good all day and worked hard all afternoon. So nyerrr.
Gossymrs, I hope you enjoyed having a fiddle.
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*in falsetto*
Crikey...PLEASE warm yer hands first!
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Ye Gods me Sprouts have shrivelled!
You all know perfectly well that come winter Spouts need TLC and keeping them in Speedos does fit the bill.
I dread to think what Sid is going to think when he sees the state of them.
DiY :-(
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DI_Wyman - your last comment gives a whole new meaning to the song ''I'm a little teapot'' ;o)
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Turn me over, pour me out
Same one?
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Sprouts!
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Not for breakfast thanks, DI - I've brought custard brioche for elevenses ;o)
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Thanks Gillianianianian, I was rather peckish.
Anyhoo, Chicken Flied Lice for tea this evening seeing as it is Saturday 'n all.
First, catchy Chicken.
Secondly, whip out yer wok.
*bluddy good job k is long way from g on keyboard*
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How the dickens did you manage to get the kay-letter accepted, DI?
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Ahem! He's right here beside me..... ;o)
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For information: I have read the news about the sprouts. I am considering my response.
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Beach reading:
He now lives in Scotland. Check out the blog.On the matter of self-identity (and much more), I commend this blog, and the author's book, which I have just finished reading. Simply brilliant!
Slainte!
ed
(apologies if it's not trivial enough for the beach..., but it's been an un-put-downable read) Off soon to watch the rugby... ;-)
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Roger, can you move to your left a bit? I can't quite see the score......
SIXTEEN-THREE TO SCOTLAND???????
* faints *
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Wooohaaayyyyyyyyyyyy guys! Now the Ireland vs. England rugby match just starting!
Who's in charge of the Barbie? Throw on another prawn and open the champers (hope I'm not being premature here...).
Who do I want to win? Well, I love my English friends but I do live in Ireland in RL and it will cheer everyone up a treat if the Irish team wins.
Budge up on that sand dune and all you naughties are all released (by decree) from the naughty-dune-step to come and watch.
Take your speedos off your head please, DI_Wyman...
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Sorry my Lady, force of habit!
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Look, I 'ave been there soooo long you can see an impression of me bum on the NS!
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Come on yoooou greys!
*I am watching the match on B and W TV*
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Did Scotland win in the end? I was so riveted by the game that I wandered down the garden and started hacking brambles and things.
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IRELAND 14, ENGALAND 13.... bu**er!
Anyhoo, anyone for a pint or two of the 'Black Stuff'?
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Don't know buy looks like England just lost. Curry (restaurant style) last night. Curry home made tonight. Mmmmmmm
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ps I wuill happily do Home visits. But considering the aroma in the bedroom this morning you may not want me to.
Now, red wine, G&T or beer?
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Lady Sue....you still awantin' yer roof afixin'?
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Phaaaaaaaarrp, crikey Stew me ol' 'windy' Frogger!
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I used to have a Johnny Fart pants T-Shirt. Always a commotion in his underwear
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Well! I have got a Vibrating Bum Faced Goats T-shirt.......with knobs on, so there Mr Smarty Pants!
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And me Go nads are swell!
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(71) Yes please DI_Wyman! Place is totally falling down around ears. I could keep a dozen men here busy for six weeks. Perhaps you could visit in your guise as 'Speedoman' and do everything really fast?
Oh hang on, where am I? ... on the beach, relaxing ...
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I'm filling in for Little Red while he's away - there's a basketful of croissants, pain au raisins and brioches on the NC Bar.
Takes a deep breath of sea air and counts to ten.....
That's better ;o)
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I'm looking at the lovely sunny afternoon and thinking:
'..gardening .. Bond .. gardening .. Bond ..'
Whatever's a girl to do?
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Do some Bonding in the garden, perhaps?
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My other half has just come up with an innovative 'do something funny for money' idea:
Torture a banker, till he gives all HIS money to Comic Relief!
I think it needs a little work, not the least that the 'torture' might need to be made suitable for family viewing - such as tickling, or being made to listen to Barry Manilow records.
If enough froggers support this idea I will put it forward...
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(80) Fifi: just loving your/your other half idea.
BTW: have you heard... in RL the final of Uni Challenge is being "disqualified" (potentially) because one of the winning team had already graduated.
Thinking: joy of joys... perhaps a re-match with a replacement on the "Human Google's" team, beginning way back at quarter final stage.
What are your thoughts, my sand-baked friends?
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My brother in law burnt his sprouts the other night. Just thought I'd mention it.
Fifi - I think your other half's on to a winner!
Lady Sue - yes I heard it on the news when I was driving back from RL earlier. I wonder if they'll add up all that person's points and see if it made a difference?
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I wonder if the Universally Challenged problem has happened before? But as the tabloids seem to have a thing against "clever" people they just have to pursue it.
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Morning Peeps, another RL Monday to be spent on the Hell Desk bah!
Anyhoo, the coffee is ready.
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Anybody about, it's nearly lunchtime and I'm starving. I'll make some sarnies and soup. Ready in 15 minutes.
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Psychedelic Frogfish Found at Ocean's Bottom
Marine biologists haven't seen anything like it “since the sixties.”
;-)
ed
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Ed I , 'spose it beats licking toads
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gossipmistress 82. re inhumane treatment of small spherical green veggies.
Have you contacted the RSPBS and it would be best if we kept Sid in the dark about this. You know it will only upset him.
DiY :-(
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cripes !!! A bit of a lean ol' day on the Beach, so I am going to russle up a fine selection of pasties and chips, with loads of side orders, followed by Jam Roly Poly pud and custard, peaches and cream, followed off with a delicate tier of patisserie.....
:-)
tuck in!!!!
n-n
xx
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*sings*
A frogger would a -scoffing go
Hey ho! Jam Roly
A frogger would a-scoffing go,
Whether his mother would let him or no.
With sprouts, a pastry, peaches and custard,
Heigh ho! for Jam Roly Poly
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Gillianianianian, don't give up yer day job!
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Which one, DIWyman??
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Optician Reprimanded for performing insufficiently wierd eye examination
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Watch and learn, Stew, watch and learn!
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Also an article on personalised Personalised Postcodes
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Truth can be stranger than fiction...
According to the EU, wine can only be called wine if it contains at least 9% alcohol. Below that, you cannot call it wine - and if you do, you'll face having it withdrawn by the Food Standards Agency, as a company called Sovio have found out...
http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio4/youandyours/items/06/2009_09_mon.shtml
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And courtesy of El Reg, one rich American businessman at least has banned his children from owning an iPod or iPhone...William Henry Gates III, of course :)
http://www.theregister.co.uk/2009/03/02/gates_kids_iphoneless/
Unfortunately, what the article doesn't say is their rooms will instead be probably stuffed full of gadgets bearing a logo resembling a certain four coloured flag...
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It seems Fifi is no longer able to be just Fifi.
Booooooooooooooo!
*throws rattle out of pram *
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99
You're not listening to what Uncle Ed is telling you.
Click on his Archer's link at post 36 on last Friday's GB and do what you have to do there (Details, change nickname)
Sadly I know no more, but have theories.
The problems may be closer to hand than FitheFixer could believe.
Moderated + Removed seems to cause some users problems.
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98
Though you may have to be re-moderated.
I can just hear you saying
'Moderated, moi?'
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98
Something I've found out in this game of soldiers....
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..by close observation of others of course....
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..that it's sheer numbers of posts that clears the initial Moderation hurdle.
Nite.
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Morning all, coffee is ready and the tea is brewing.
Has anyone seen the toaster?
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Morning froggers. Coffee's on, toast and marmalade on the bar. SS (99-103) don't you ever sleep??
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I don't care about being modded, SSB - happens all the time, to me as to anyone else.
What annoys me is the name change, as I thought I had made clear. I've been 'Fifi' since 2006 and there's now a whole squad of people who now call me that in RL as well.
I don't change identities as readily as some around here. And if I do have to, then I would appreciate the courtesy of an explanation from those who're insisting that I do.
Now... where's that rattle? ... never around when you want one... mumph, grumph, grizzle...
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Mansaylo (105) - Can I have my marmalade on my toast rather than on the bar?
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I'm not, I'm just testing something for her ... ;)
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Hmmm, well that didn't work, dang, sorry Feefs!
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Intermittent or Occasional?
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(108) abd (110) : I think you are changing your nicknames for the purposes of using message boards, not blogs.
And by the way, I can't do that EITHER!
Same problem: doesn't start with 'Your nickname is...' and the offer to change it.
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What alchemy is this?
Am I really Fifi again?????
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Imposter! ;o)
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Phew.
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Yep - and all you previous posts are available under 'Fifi'.
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Welcome back!
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Yippee, I'm Fifi again, safe and sound!
* skips about inelegantly in sand *
I can feel a celebrational garlicky risotto coming on. Anyone fancy some? Vegetarian version available with mushrooms, sweetcorn and peas. Carnivorous version features chorizo and ham in addition. All cooked with orange juice.
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Where's the serious contemporaneous place on this bog?
Long run serious = FB
Short run fun = Beach
Expressing horror at the cricket coach tragedy, where's that thread?
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Fifi, your little jig reminded me that I went to see U-2 playing on the roof of Broadcasting House... what great reunion dances those German submarine crews have...
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Fit/fifi. As both names are still on the list that suggests you now have two personas.
see (111 and 112) or fit is not fifi.
Lunch anyone?
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Fifi and Fixer, a rare example of mitosis (or is it meiosis?) in a fully developed organism.
Will the terrible twins be rivals or comrades? Who can say?
Know the strength of man,
But keep a woman's care!
Be the stream of the universe!
Being the stream of the universe,
Ever true and unswerving,
Become as a little child once more.
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SSB (118) - Usual practice seems to be the most recent Glass Box. When the new Glass Box is created, you can re-post there if you wish.
Ed (121) - I have no intention of messing about with identities... it's too hard, too time consuming and I'm not funny enough for it to be worth the effort!
However, if the blog suddenly requires me to sign in again for no reason, at least now I have the correct ID stored away where I should be able to find it again.
;o)
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Fifi,
Out of curiosity, had you cleaned out your computer's cookie jar? Or perhaps it had happened 'involuntarily' (still on windoze)?
I'm with Nelson
ed
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More nickname fun and games...
I normally sign in as mittfh2 (when DNA was first introduced, it wouldn't allow me to use mittfh)...
...But then, a few months back, I accidentally managed to sign in as mittfh instead...
...So I now have two different accounts that resolve to the same nickname...
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So although this comment and post 124 appear to come from the same nickname, if you investigate you'll notice the U numbers are different...
Ho hum...
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Cookies, mmmm!
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Ed (123) : I rarely visit the cookie jar, not being a person with a sweet tooth.
But I do take your point, and no, I haven't done anything that would have swept away those settings.
Thanks for the thought!
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Noice!
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Welcome back Fifi, celebratory Doughnuts all round!
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Yes, Fifi, welcome back! I tried posting about this in FB a while ago when Perky had the same prob. Don't know whether it ever appeared.
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Who stole the cookies from the cookies jar?.........
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Fifi- what an adventure!
Easily done, this name thingey going wrong.
Mollyxx
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Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
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*Points to the Naughty Step*
Go on, SSB, you know where you belong...
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Been a while since we had a batch of jokes...
*Rummages around behind the bar*
*Finds the Jester's Hat*
*Grins insanely*
A selection of musical jokes - apologies to FB'ers, you've already been 'treated' to these...
Two men were sentenced to die in the electric chair on the same day. The prison warden asked the first man: "Do you have any last requests?"
"Yes," he said. "Could you play me 'The Birdie Song' one last time?"
"Sure," said the warden. Then he turned to the second man and said:
"And what's your final request?"
"I'd like to go first."
What do you get if you drop a piano down a mine?
A flat minor
What do you get if you drop a piano on an army base?
A flat major
What happens if you play country music backwards?
Your wife returns to you, your dog comes back to life, and you get of out prison.
What is the difference between a duet and a duel?
None - there is no difference.
How do you get a lead guitarist to stop playing?
Put sheet music in front of him.
What's the definition of an optimist?
A folk musician with a mortgage.
What's the difference between a pizza and a drummer?
A pizza can feed a family of four.
What's the difference between a drum kit and a lawnmower?
The neighbours are upset if you borrow a lawnmower and don't return it.
A movie director was testing Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger for a new film about classical composers.
The director said to Stallone: "Who do you fancy playing, Sly?"
Stallone looked down the list of characters and said: "I'd like to play Mozart."
Then the director turned to Schwarzenegger. Arnie said simply...
(Go on, guess it!)
"I'll be Bach."
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mittfh. The jester's hat doesn't suit you. Don't give up the day job. Meanwhile, coffee's on, bacon butties nearly ready. Where is everybody - still kipping in the hammocks?
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Morning Mansaylo, thanks for the coffee. I have brought some fresh eggs if anyone wants to top off their bacon sarnies.
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a joke..
Air Traffic Control to: "Cessna G-ABCD What are your intentions?"
Cessna: "To get my Commercial Pilots Licence and Instrument Rating."
ATC: "I meant in the next five minutes not years..."
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Someone's been rocking my hammock...
Is it safe to come out yet?
Save me some butties and coffee.I'm just off for a dip before it gets too cold.
Or hot.
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If someone could help me down from this high horse, I'll make a start on lunch.
Are omelettes okay?
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Get off Gillianian!
And omelettes are fine, thanks.
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Omelettes - absolutely fine, Gillianianian. Mushrooms and bacon, please.
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ooooh I'd love a slice of omelette, please!!!
And I was just thinking what a fine figure you looked up there on that horse, over on another thread....mind you don't trip on the molehills, Gillianian!!!!
I, sadly, will be missing PM most evenings this week, so will recline gracefully on the beach.
n-n
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n-n.......you know, I could have just summarised everything I said over there in two words, using the motto of this Beach..... ;o)
I love your Venus pose, nikki! That's a clever thing you've done with your towel ;o)
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Now, now Gillianian- you're making nikki-n blush....
Don't trip on that big shell ,n-n....
oh! hide your eyes, Gillianian!!!!
Quick- where's my coat....?
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NN, how do you get the towel to do that! ?
I think its time for a Fat Rascal. (other large scones avaialable). though I shall be having a biscuit courtesy of a patient.
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DIY (138): And here's the naval equivalent...
Canadians:
Please divert your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.
Americans:
Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision.
Canadians:
Negative. You will have to divert your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid collision.
Americans:
This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.
Canadians:
No. I say again, you divert YOUR course.
Americans:
THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS LINCOLN, THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP
IN THE UNITED STATES' ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE
DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS.
I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH, I SAY AGAIN, THAT'S ONE FIVE DEGREES NORTH,OR COUNTER-MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP.
Canadians:
This is a lighthouse. Your call.
-oOo-
Apparently the joke has been told numerous times over the years - apparently first surfacing in a navy magazine in the 1940s. Needless to say, the US Navy deny the incident is true...and unfortunately their version is backed up by Snopes :(
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As for towels, I've got a nice big one here (60cm x 90cm) with the words "Don't Panic!" inscribed in large, friendly letters...
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A man jumps out of an airplane with a parachute on his back. As he's falling, he realizes his chute is broken. He doesn't know anything about parachutes, but as the earth rapidly approaches, he realizes his options are limited; he takes off the parachute and tries to fix it himself on the way down.
The wind is ripping past his face, he's dropping like a rock, and at 5000 feet, another man goes shooting up past him. In desperation, the man with the chute looks up and yells, "Hey do you know anything about parachutes?!"
The guy flying up looks down and yells, "No, do you know anything about gas stoves?!"
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You will love this one...
As migration approached, two elderly vultures doubted they could make the trip south, so they decided to go by airplane.
When they checked their baggage, the attendant noticed that they were carrying two dead raccoons. "Do you wish to check the raccoons through as luggage?" she asked.
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"No, thanks," replied the vultures. "They're carrion."
See!
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Anyone seen David of St Albans?
I was going to treat the old boy to a pint of Scrumpy and a Pastie!
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Quick, mittfh, I know it's not Thursday but we need to get these six pints of beer drunk PDQ!!
DiY [:-)8
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Hi All! Just celebrating the fact I can still remember my (new ) password and logged in on Mum's computer. Dial up connection's a bit slow though. Clear blue skies here, lovely temps in the 20's. Been to the local swimming baths - for bargain price of $9. 50 (about £4 stg.) me and mpb enjoyed an aqua fit class, use of the huge pool after the class, and use of a water play pool and the spa pool. About 5 other people using the swimming pool with us. That's what I call a bargain!
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Annasee, sounds better than the beach. And how come we are allowed $ signs but not £ (pound) signs?
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Annasee - The temp on my car reading today was 2.5 degrees, I had 8 boring hours in the office, I haven't had a swim in ages and I don't think I like you anymore. :o)
Enjoy the rest of your trip!
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Morning all.
Coffee is ready, tea is brewing and the toaster is standing by.
annasee, with the pool that crowded I would have asked for my money back.
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Annassee I'm very jealous! And you're missing more snow! Well, to be honest it was only a few flakes in the Northwest but there was a little. Glad to hear you're having a good time.
DiY thanks for the tea, I've brought some marmalade to go with the toast, my Mum's homemade chunky. Actually it's nice in porridge too!
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Hello love.
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Hi Harrold!
How are Amelia, Norman and Mildred?
DiY ;-)
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Kumquats anyone..?
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harold - are you a very small hooved mammal?
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What are you trying to light the flower for, Harold?
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I don't know Carl LaFong - Capital L, small a, Capital F, small o, small n, small g. And if I did know Carl LaFong, I wouldn't admit it!
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a joke....
Sue and Bob, a pair of tight wads, lived in the mid west, and had been married years.
Bob had always want to go flying. The desire grew each time a barn stormer flew into town to offer rides.
Bob would always ask, and Sue would always say, "No way boy, ten dollars is ten dollars."
The years went by, and Bob figured he didn't have much longer, so he got Sue out to the show, explaining, it's free to watch, let's at least watch.
And once he got there the feeling become real strong and Sue and Bob started an arguement.
The Pilot, between flights, overheard, listened to they problem, and said, "I'll tell you what, I'll take you up flying, and if you don't say a word the ride is on me, but if you back one sound, you pay ten dollars.
So off they flew. The Pilot doing as many rolls, and dives as he could.
Heading to the ground as fast as the plane could go, and pulling out of the dive at just the very last second. Not a word. Finally he admited defeat and went back the air port.
"I'm surprised, why didn't you say anything?"
"Well I almost said something when Sue fell out, but heck, ten dollars is ten dollars."
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Mrs DiY says it's time for me to let her whippet out!
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I AM A TWERP!
I've only gone and posted some straplines on an ancient 'page'....
How did I do that?
I shall never show my face here again....I'm sooooooo ebarassed!!!!
Sorry!
Byeeeeee....
mxx
ps don't you dare pinch my ideas- I know you lot......
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"Twerp" - now there's a word I haven't heard in yonks!
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Molly - Don't worry nobody will find them.
Anyway you are supposed to email them to pm@bbc.co.uk with the word STRAPLINES in the Subject line
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Molly, if you have lost them, then go here to see them again.
DiY, always a help. :-D
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a joke
A young guy in an F-14 fighter was flying escort for a B-52 and generally being a nuisance, acting like a hotdog, flying rolls around the lumbering old bomber. The hotshot said over the air, "Anything you can do, I can do better."
The veteran bomber pilot just answered, "Try this hot-shot." The B-52 continued its flight, straight and level for the next 10 minutes.
Perplexed, the hotdog asked, "So? What did you do?"
"Well, I just engaged auto pilot, visited the mens room, had a chat with the navigator and grabbed a cup of coffee.
So, could you do that?"
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..there's more..
The student in his primary trainer was flying a solo cross-country. He lost his way and before he finally ran out of fuel he decided to put it down on a road. With hardly any cars on the road he managed to coast his aircraft into a petrol station and said to the attendant, "Fill 'er up!"
The attendant just looked at the pilot.
"I bet you don't get too many airplanes asking for a refuel," said the pilot.
The attendant replied "Very true, most pilots use that airport over there."
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What ho!
Goodness March already? And I haven't got the sprouts on the boil for Crimbo yet!
Seriously, apologies for not being around since... erm... last week? RL has been hectic to say the least. Early mornings, late nights, and sometimes I've gone to work as well! ;o)
Now judging by my watch it 40 minutes past Pimms O'Clock! I've made some of the No.3 Winter mixture, mulled with apple juice and some ginger ale, with a few slices of orange floating on top. Who's for a glug or two?
;o) []
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Two please!
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Sorry for the delay my equine friend, here you go.
Anyone else?
;o) []
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Hi Wonko, we all enjoyed the Wonko.jpg!
Can I reserve a Pimms for later?
I am stuck on the IT HellDesk till 5.30 and then I have 12 mile drive back to home to the warming Mrs DiY embrace.
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Yes please Wonko, that's very kind, a glug would be great after the slightly dull, dull, deadly dull day I've had.
Bottoms Up!
A x
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Yes please Wonko ... glug, glug, glug, please ...
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TIH (168)
Do you really, really think so?
In spite of DIY's bean- spill?
I'm not coming out yet. Just in case ....
Mxx
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Well I hope everyone's suitably imbibed, do continue to help yourselves.
I'm off to brave London's public transport system!
;o) []
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DiW....are you enjoying Mrs. DiW's warm Brace yet???
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Ladies don't forget Mr Bean on Beach Channel 4 at 9.00 pm.
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Froggersfroat 180, yep! Now all I can taste is fish!
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we had smoked Mackerel, Mashed spuds and carrots and last years (frozen) broadbeans with a horseradish sauce for our tea.
Wot were you thinking!
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LOL...I have just been listening again to the song about how to bu$$er a Hedgehog!
I just hope that a Frogger in the East Midlands can live with herself!
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easy peasy!
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Test
ing
1
2
3
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And it's a full house for Mr DIWyman ;o)
The prize is the key to the Recent Comments box!
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LOL..Gillianianian...I woz playing, as one does, and found there is a way to actually to generate an empty post.
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See!
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but!
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you need to remember how many you have used so far!
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Mine seems to be even emptier than yours ;o)
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see!
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AND it covers three comment boxes, apparently! (192-195)
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Oh! There you are... everything went blank for a minute or two ;o)
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Crikey...!
*backs off, not messin' with this willy ol' gal*
anyhoo, that young Billy Connolly will be on TV in while and I need to adjust the blood / alcohol level!
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OK you two - how about letting the rest of us in on it?
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Feels rather like creating a wormhole in space - just hope no-one falls in!
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..now look wot you have done! Everyone and his sister is in on the act!
see!
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Nope...
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Oh! Yep!
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No I can't be that simple. And DIY is it not alcohol/blood levels?
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I'm sure you're not, Stewart!
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This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the House Rules.
what?
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Ah that's better, sorry for upsetting the blog, I'm not sure how I did it. Too clever with the emboldenments, probably.
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But AM I STILL BANNED?
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Andy - I 'complained' about your comment and asked them to remove it to see if it cured the problem. Seems it has.
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TIH, But if they follow form, the Mods (who are as Gods) will deliberate and decide it doesn't break house rules and reinstate it....
;-)
ed
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Thanks TIH, I should have complained about my own comment really, but I'm glad its fixed now! Good jobby there's another Beach ...
Ed - nooooo!!! Glad you're not banned, then.
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Ed (217) - No, they won't. I told them all sorts of lies about Andy. I'll be surprised if they don't hold a case conference and ban him altogrether!
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TIH (219) : Well nothing they won't have heard before, and they haven't banned me yet ...
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Fight the "The Final Countdown", I need your support!
Please go here
DiY ;-)
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Apparently - a enboldened blank space "constitutes spam" ;)
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