Burns' Day....and a poem arrives.
One Wee Scottish Farty (Tae A Fart)
Oh what a sleekit horrible beastie,
Lurks in yer bellie efter a feastie,
Just as ye sit doon among yer kin
There starts to stir an enormous wind.
The neeps and tatties and mushy peas
Start working like a gentle breeze
But soon the pudding wi' the sauncie face
Will hae ye blawin' a' ower the place
Nae matter whit the hell ye dae
a'body's gonnae hae tae pay
Even if ye try tae stifle
it's like a bullet oot a rifle
Hawd yer bum ticht tae the chair
Tae try tae stop the leakin' air
Shift yersel fae cheek tae cheek
Pray tae god it disnae reek
But a' the efforts go asunder
Oot it comes like a clap o' thunder
Ricochets arrond the room
Michty me! a sonic boom
God almighty it fairly reeks
A' hope a' huvnae sh*t ma breeks
Tae the bog a' better scurry
Whit the hell, it's no ma worry
A'body roon aboot me choakin'
One or two are nearly boakin'
I'll feel better for a while
Cannae help but raise a smile
It wis him! I shout and glower
Alas too late, he's just keeled ower
Ye dirty bugger! They shout and stare
I'm no that welcome any mair
Where e're ye go let yer wind gang free
That sounds jist the joab fir me
Whit a fuss at Rabbie's party
Ower the sake o' one wee farty
(author unknown)
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Splendid stuff!
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ValP - Well done!
Moral of the story - keep off the haggis (and the leeks, potatoes, swedes - and worst of all, cabbage and sprouts).
:o)
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A shorter Burns Night poem (also on that other thread):
I burnt the haggis
No supper, I guess.
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Well done ValP!!! Now I'm off to prepare my Burns Supper - I'll just nip out and buy some room freshener, shall I???
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Jings, Val P, Ah niver thought ye
Wid write a poyem sae affy naughty.
(giggling helplessly)
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Haggis tonight, wassailing apple trees, mumming, morris dancing, and the burning of the Clavie. Nothing like a bit of folksie stuff.
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In case you don't know:
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=uixfrtqcVTg
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This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the House Rules.
A Jean Armoured car, I hope?
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Excellent Poem
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Haha! I hope you're all in well ventilated rooms this evening...
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Well we had our Haggis Supper last night, so eldest daughter could join us.
Suffice to say she benefitted from having the ''wind'' behind her when she went rowing this morning ;o)
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Today is also St Paul's Day.
David (6) -
If Paul's Fair be fair and clear
We shall have a happy year,
But if it be both wind and rain
Dear will be all kinds of grain.
It's been a lovely day here ;o)
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Wind and rain here :o(
But grain is likely to be dear anyway.
Thanks, Gillianianian, for the rhyme; is it an old one? It looks it.
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According to my book ''The English Year',
it's a Cornish rhyme, recorded in print in 1884, though similar predictions on this day were known in the seventeenth century.
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Double thanks to ValP for the poem, as I delivered it at a fundraising event last night in a Rutland pub. (The tone had already been lowered, nothing to do with me for a change.)
The Hedgehog Song was a special request, for which an extra fiver was donated to the night's good cause, BLESMA.
Anyone got any thoughts for St Paddy's Night at the same pub?
;o)
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I hope the Barmy Scottish Army go to the european and world cup finals because they are the most mental singing drunkest fans in the whole wide world
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Gosh - wuld that I had the skill to write sic a thing! Guilty as charged for passing it on to His Mairness earlier this week though - I thought it might tickle his sense of humour ;o)
Sc*ttish P*wer having done their worst again today, we have been enjoying a very atmospheric Burns Day, as we have (once again) been without electricity. Grrrrrr, atmospheric it may be, but damn cold too. However it did spur us on to work outside and I have to announce to those who have been following the erection known as Pedants' Palace that same is now wind and watertight, as we nailed on the final strip of roofing felt! Ta-raa! See another place for photos later, when the electricity has been on long enough to charge up the camera battery.....
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I hope the work kept you warm. Congratulations on topping out Pedants' Palace (giggle!)
Love the poyem, whoever wrote it.
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What did I say??????
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Don't take it personally Val (20) ... the mods are a weird and wonderful thing, with rules that none of us can make sense of! xx
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According to various sources, 25th January is the Conversion of St Paul; Peter and Paul share a day on 29th June.
Today is also the day of
St Apollo
St Artemas
St Dwyn or Dwynwen
Sts Juventinus and Maximus
St Poppo
St Praejectus or Prix
St Publius
Brazil was discovered on this day in 1500, and Al Capone died on January 25th 1947. And in 1327 Edward III acceded the throne.
I probably ought to get out more.
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*Huff* I wouldn't mind so much if I knew what I'm supposed to have done wrong. Aren't they supposed to write to you?
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It is also the beginning of the Year of the Ox, supposedly pretty auspicious.
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Also on this day:
It's Tatiana Day in Russia. The day's named after a 3rd century martyr, who is apparently the patron saint of students in the Russian Orthodox Church...
It's also Dydd Santes Dwynwen - she's the Welsh patron saint of lovers (so it's their equivalent of Valentine's Day)
In 1924, the first Winter Olympics was held at the foot of Mont Blanc in France.
In 1858, Queen Victoria's daughter, also called Victoria, married Friedrich of Russia. They chose Mendelssohn's Wedding March as the recessional tune, spawning the tradition observed by many newlyweds since...
In 2005, NASA's "Opportunity" rover landed on Mars. It's mission was originally intended to be 90 sols (Mars days - 2.7% longer than Earth's), but four years later, it's still trundling along out there...
And who was born today (apart from Robert Burns!)?
1874 - W. Somerset Maugham
1882 - Virginia Woolf
1955 - Terry Chimes (The Clash)
1956 - Andy Cox (Fine Young Cannibals)
1981 - Alicia Keys
1984 - Robinho
Then tomorrow, you can announce:
Kung Hei Fat Choi!
(Congratulations and be prosperous - a popular Chinese new year greeting)
It's also Australia Day - in commemoration of the British First Fleet sailing into Sydney Harbour in 1788, marking the start of the British colonisation of the island.
And Republic Day in India. And Liberation Day in Uganda.
Timothy, Titus, Paula, Alberic and Margaret of Hungary are also celebrated.
1823 - Edward Jenner (the chap that used cowpox as a smallpox vaccine) died.
1837 - Michigan became the 26th US state.
1838 - Tennessee enacted the first prohibition law.
1841 - Britain formally occupied Hong Kong.
1942 - US forces finally arrived in Europe.
1945 - Jacqueline du Pre was born.
1988 - Premiere of Phantom of the Opera.
Info all sourced from a certain online encyclopedia...
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I hope whoever write that disgraceful poyem disnae mind, but I've reported it to the archive...
[loud raspberry!]
ed
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18, 20, 21, 23
You've confused me. I thought people reading the posts 'referred' things, not the moderators.
I thought the moderators neither posted nor referred. They just adjudicate on posts referred to them.
Am I wrong?
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Ah, mittfh (25), I don't have access to that online encyclopedia, so I had to use books that were lying around the place. Thanks for expanding on those for me!
*This* day, of course, is a whole nother story, and you missed out the saints: Alberic, Conan of Man, Eystein, Margaret of Hungary, Paula, Polycarp (probably my favourite of this lot, as might be expected of someone whose name is marginally fishy), Thordgith or Theorgitha of Barking, Timothy and Titus.
Which goes to show, I think, that this is an unhealthy time of year, since saints' days usually happen when they died rather than their birthdays (which people generally don't know).
Is there a saint whose day is on February 29th, or does everyone politely pretend they died the day before or the day after?
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Am I wrong?
Yup! The Mods are as Gods, and are quite capable of moderating a post without the intervention of a blog user. It would appear that they have direct instruction to remove forthwith any post indicating a route to the Disaster Emergencies Committee....[Unsuitable/Broken URL removed by Moderator]
ed
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This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the House Rules.
27: It's my understanding that certain triggers will ring alarm bells with the mods without any external interference. Hence the reference to 'post moderation'.
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re 31 - I've just copied this from the What does this mean? link, which clarifies about post moderation:
"Post-moderation - all messages appear on the board first and are checked afterwards. Most BBC message boards are supervised in this way."
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Val P - it seemed fine to me...
Mods move in a mysterious way
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Oh, and - Kung Hei Fat Choi!
Thanks, mittfh.
Isn't Chinese New Year usually in Feb?
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Frances, I quote:
"The Chinese calendar is based on exact astronomical observations of the longitude of the sun and the phases of the moon"
As a result, it does vary from year to year (like Easter does, for similar reasons). I rather like a calendar that is determined from without rather than by Man.
Kung Hei Fat Choi to all. The Year of the Ox is of special significance here.
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So, with Easter:
"Easter Day is the first Sunday after the full moon which happens upon, or next after the 21st day of March; and if the full moon happens upon a Sunday, Easter Day is the Sunday after."
Why such an odd definition? March 21 is the vernal equinox -- the day on which the length of daylight equals the length of darkness as the days are lengthening in the spring. The traditional Jewish calendar is based on moon phases, which is how the phase of the moon enters into the definition -- when they were determining what day Easter would fall on, they deferred to the Jewish practice of using moon phases to decide the timing of holidays.
Using this method, Easter can only occur between March 22 and April 25.
(Source: HowStuffWorks)
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Big Sis, thanks!
I like the sun/moon interaction, too.
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Funnily enough, Frances, my husband was asking me only yesterday why couldn't they fix Easter like they did Christmas? I guess that's the difference between (some) men and (some) women ;o)
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Ah, that's because we're in tune with the deep, deep mysteries of the moon
;o)
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FrancesO - yes, and ain't it fun ;-)
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Absolutely ;o)
And long may it stay that way...
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Saint Polycarp, whom I mentioned earlier, was the stubborn old cuss who refused to accept the idea that Easter ought not to be a 'Movable Feast' but to go on being on a Sunday because the Jewish day on which the cruxifiction happened was such an integral part of the story and the reason for all the haste to get Jesus dead and buried.
He was also the one who when asked to execrate Christ, replied, "he has been true to me all my life, and I shan't be untrue to him at the end of it". It's said that he was 86 years a Christian, which is a pretty good advertisement for it! :-)
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That's an absolutely priceless poem!! I actually laughed at my desk when I read it. Rabbie would be proud!!
Cheery-bye!
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Great poem - but surely there must have been a dog to blame. Works for me. In the main
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On Burns night R4 did a poetry special - none of his poems rhyme! So none of your poems are anything like his.
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jonathanmorse (45) What??
face/race/place/grace; fill/hill/mill/distil.....
Shall I go on......??
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