December the eighteenth.
"This is Thelma Newton the Frogger's Guardian Angel on our Home Made Health Promotion Advent Calendar Christmas Tree. We are hoping it is going to win the department a case of cheap fizz in the Annual Christmas Tree Competition. We're not optimistic.
We haven't seen sight of Louise Ridley (her less attractive twin) since we lent her to Pathology.
Karen"
Listen to PM
© MMIX~RS~q~RS~~RS~z~RS~48~RS~)
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"Keep warm during the winter". Eddie - do you remember those two awful winters we had? - Mike and Bernie.
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I seem to remember a certain BH presenter always telling us 'Do wrap up'....
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I'm pleased to see Thelma wearing her Terence Higgins AIDS awareness ribbon. May I recommend the TH Trust chrimbo cards - excellent value and just the right amount of sentiment.
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Karen, another one to add to your board:
"When your train is cancelled, don't walk six miles in to work in the cold, wind and rain, getting drenched head to foot by drivers racing through puddles... go home, have a cup of tea and wait until the trains are running again."
...is cat-flu serious in metal cats?
GM (2):
That's the cause of all the troubles in the world now! Eddie stopped telling us to wrap up, we all didn't and the economy caught a cold. Relax Robert Peston, it's not all your fault after all.
Mrs Eff (1):
*grin*
Reminds me of the old story about the brothers appearing at the Glasgow Empire. Mike had started trying to warm the audience up - with no success - then Bernie walked on stage. The silence was suddenly pierced by a single cry of, "Oh ****, there's two o' them!"
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Does one of the days recommend eating plenty of porridge for breakfast? It warms you up from top to toe and lowers cholesterol. And it won't break the bank in the credit crunch!
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As they say in California, "Van Nuys."
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I left one of my health police finding things to write on the cards. One of them is about "Eating a rainbow", others are about being responsible with your medicines and planning ahead, one has NHS Direct's telephone number on it, another advises you not to get stressed over the Christmas period...
All very worthy and unrealistic!
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Lovely, Karen - though you misled us - Thelma's actually a pretty little thing ;o)
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There's lovely, Rachel!
SSC - ah that explains someone else's status line on FB this morning. He wondered if F*rst Sc*tr**l might whip up an impromptu carol concert while they all waited (travelling in from Ayr). What was the problem?
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ValP (9):
I've no idea what the problem was and I'm slightly concerned that people were having problems on an entirely different line. Either there was a problem at Glasgow Central itself, or Worst Spotrail (now just Spotrail, according to the new website) had their Christmas party last night.
Clearly the station announcer didn't want to wake up any of the people in the houses close to the station; "wss wss, wswss, wsswss, wsss."
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I wonder what December 25th's Christmas blog treat is going to be? Anyone got any idea?
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GM (11):
Keep an eye open, it could appear at any time, then quickly disappear again. A kind of Blogadoon...
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Have you seen the BMJ study today warning of the threat posed to the life of the pope by the Wales rugby union team?
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TSSC (4) :0)
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Ahhhhh, bless her! She's very cute, Karen - you have misled us!
So glad she made it back to you, and thereby to us all.
Joyeux Noel, Thelma!
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No, dr_d. Do post a link.
Thelma at last! I do like 'keep warm during the winter'. Very sound advice.
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But it being past my bedtime, I looked it up on gurgle.
http://www.bmj.com/cgi/content/full/337/dec17_2/a2768?rss=1
We need not fear overmuch:
"There is no evidence of a link between papal deaths and any home nation grand slams (when one nation succeeds in beating all other competing teams in every match). There was, however, weak statistical evidence to support an association between Welsh performance and the number of papal deaths."
Since I confidently expect Wales to triumph during the Six Nations, I suggest extra prayers should be said for His Holiness at the end of this and next year.
Of course, if Wales doesn't trounce the entire world in 2009, it's a Vatican plot and albino monks, geometric floor designs and best-selling books are to be blamed.
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An angel named Thelma
Was stuck on a board
When, lo! from on high
Came the voice of the Lord.
"Dear Thelma", said He
(Though He could be a She)
"For an angel, your message
Is somewhat non-PC.
Why the talk of strong drink
And of strong medication?
The praise of the Lord
Should be your one libation!
And do you not think that
To know Christ is born
Will not be enough
To keep people warm?"
Poor Thelma then struggled
Her warm tears to hide
As she listened aghast
While the good Lord did chide.
"Dear Lord", came her answer
When once more she could speak
"I'm so sorry these messages
Seem to you such a cheek.
Yet to think I'm the author
Is, in truth, pure nonsense.
'Twas that Karen and colleagues
Who've given such offence.
And, to add hurt to insult
Karen said, on the Blog,
That I'm cross-eyed and knock-kneed ...
Less a girl than a frog!"
So she cried in her shame
With her long tale of woe
And the Lord looked more kindly
On little Thelma below.
When at last little Thelma
On the Blog did appear
All the bloggers were struck
By her beauty and cheer.
By the miracle of Christmas
Her looks were restored
So all thanks to St. Nicholas,
Eddie Mair, and the Lord!
.
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