The Beach.
All we ask is that you be nice to everyone.
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The blog for the afternoon news and current affairs programme presented by Eddie Mair.
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Good morning, Lord Mair.
A bit breezy on the Beach this morning, but I see that the recent rain has freshened up the sand.
Fortunately, here the sun shines every day and rainfall is limited to night hours, but never on party nights. How very different from life in Blighty, eh?
Warm croissants, Normandy butter, and some delicious apricot compote along with copious cafetieres of Blue Mountain coffee on the NC bar, everyone.
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Morning, Eddie; Morning, Sis. I'll just partake of a coffee for the moment, thanks :-)
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Morning Peeps, warm crossants with apricot compost.....a splendid way to start a Friday.
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Morning all. Thanks Big Sis - lovely breakfast. A quick swim first, though ...
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Lovely, Big Sis, thanks. Just what's needed to set me up for the day. Off to help open the Box Office to sell tickets for the "Killing of Sister George"with Jenny Eclair in the starring role. We're not out of the woods yet, but at least there will be a show on stage from the 13th.
I'll leave some home grown tomato salad by the bar for later - very well washed.
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Morning all......
Sorry I'm a bit tardy I know but DIW, consider your pillows well and truly plumped ;-)
yummy breakfast BigSis, thank you..
Good luck with the ticket sales Anne.
Right I'm off back to RL for a while :-(
x
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Good morning! Give me a minute while I strip off - wellies, cagoule (sorry DIWYman, didn't mean to shake it over you!), rainhat (one of those old-fashioned see-through plastic ones), woolly jumper, long socks, soggy jeans, shirt, T-shirt........
Phew! It's hot here!
Lovely breakfast - thanks Anne, and well done!
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Whahay. Is it a noodie beach today?
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DI_W 3, Apricot compost?!
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mgl - certainly not!! Put your kaftan back on, immediately!
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Anyone for a chicken bagel with tarogon and garlic, and Italiany pepper things...??
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G_F 11, No thanks, I just had some. Burpppp!
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I can smell tarogon and garlic on the cat. :(
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Mrs Eff - Why are you smelling a cat?
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Tabby or not tabby !
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Speaking of soup and flies, I recently discovered by accident how to get rid of maggots in your rubbish bin. (C'mon none of us are too posh not to have had the problem.) Just remove the lid after a week or so and, voila, a load of flies will fly out. As Frank Cooper would say, "Just like that!" (Yes, I know.)
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MrsEff 13, Roast in a medium oven for an hour or so depending on the size of the cat.
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Tabby or not tabby,mouse is the question,
whether tis nobler (don't you mind) to suffer,
the squeaks and voleholes of outrageus claw tunes,
or to take a snooze for your troubles,
only to have them end some.
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MrsEff 13, And don't forget to send a photo to pm@bbc.co.uk It might be as good as my photo of spag bol and rasp'by wine.
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We had a cat about the stables for a while. It was incredibly talented - could play the violin and piano. It wrote several pieces for the violin and was persuaded by the stable owner to perform an especially good one at a local concert.
After the show, the music critic of the local paper was talking to the stable boss and said that he had never seen or heard anything so bizzare and yet so beatutiful. "You really should have it orchestrated", he said.
We never saw the cat again.
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G'day all.
Horse (14), Cats' heads smell lovely! Especially when they've just come in from the fresh air.
David (16), I have never, ever, had maggots in my bin. Nor am I aware of anyone else who has. You remind me of the episode of 'Friends' in which Chandler talks about how thinking about ones mother during sex ruins the experience...
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Ap (21) - I too have never had maggots in my bin. But I'm intrigued as to why you were reminded of that episode of 'Friends'.
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Horse (22), He shared that thought expecting everyone else to empathise. Clearly a mistake: They were all horrified.
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Now then, who would like to see my etchings? I thought they were lost on the last beach, but I found them under a collapsed hammock. I'm rather proud of that one in the middle. What do you think?
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Appy (24)
Did you need to wear goggles when you did that one in the middle?
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Hi all - must remember to take a photo of tonight's dinner (before consumption!) to send in...
Meanwhile, a thought that's been roaming round my head for the past day or so has been the possibility of creating a PM/iPM lightbulb joke. Not the one liner type, but the story type.
Something along the lines of a listener's lightbulb blows and they write in to iPM asking for an investigation on the merits of incadescent vs energy saver. Cue debate on the iPM blog, Eddie referencing it in the main PM blog, and the roving reporters sending in photos of lightbulbs from far-flung places of the globe.
Yes, a crazy idea, and yes, I'm avoiding work - I'll get my coat....
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No Joe (25) I managed without! Good innit?
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Appy, any Beach Boys in particular? ;-)
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Ap(24) - The etchings are wonderful. What sort of tool do you find works best?
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Appy -- can you bash copper as well?
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Ah, I see what you did there Valery (28) :-) Just the singing ones.
(Horse), One of those things for getting stones out of horses' hooves that can be found on a Swiss Army Knife is surprisingly good for larger images.
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Sorry, that should've read "Horse (29)..." ...but think of it as a hug whydontcha :-)
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I've not tried that Mrs Eff (30). I'd have thought it illegal, except in self defence of course (boom-boom tsh!)
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(Ap) - Just to return the thought.
And I've seen horses' hooves in some strange places (believe me!) but I didn't think you could get them on a Swiss Army Knife.
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Appy (21), I'm afraid I must raise my hand tentatively and confess to the dubious honour of having had rather a lot of maggots in our bin just this last week! The council turned up earlier than expected for the weekly collection (ok, we forgot to move it 4 feet forward on the drive to constitute a "kerbside collection"). In our defence they alway come a day later than normal on bank holiday weeks - until now! Obviously something had spilled at the bottom, I lifted the lid and to my horror saw them inside the lid. Phoned the council who, despite saying they would come back the next day, did not return until the scheduled weekly visit. Therefore my poor SO had to give it his best valiant efforts to try and clean it out and get rid of the pesky critters, and had the lovely task of having to thoroughly clean and disinfect the whole thing after it was emptied.......he told me he could have gone fishing for a year with the bucketload he had to scoop out.......eeew!! He earned his supper that day! Me, I wouldn't go anywhere near it due to my Dr Who induced maggot phobia!
I am sure you are glad I shared that with you all...........now anyone for a chicken bagel??
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Earth, Wind and Fire?
OMG! I asked the question yesterday - anyone else worried and seeing a recording of John McCain's address to the Republican Party Convention - his entrance song appeared to be "September" by Earth, Wind and Fire.
On another thread I wondered about something over there in the US of A but that tune has confirmed something, to me at least as I lay on this sandy beach - perhaps for the last time - LH Collider in mind - and consider the worlds future. Black holes, Earth, Fires, Winds!
Sand in my toes, a Jeffery Archer's novel to throw at intruding doggies - well you don't think I am going to read it do you? And a nice cold beer.
My favourite version of "September" came from the movie "Get Over It" and I though about life and survival in general and chuckled. How apt!
But I have had a good innings and think positively, Steelie boy! No more Archer novel's. lol
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Appy, those etchings. I honestly don't have the words to comment!
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Horse (34), Like where? Share!
Fi (35), Gruseome! Please don't tell me you're with Chandler on the mother/sex thing too??? :-)
Fearless (37), Why thank you, you're too kind. Have a chocolate banana by way of appreciation!
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Ap - Well, upside down in a telephone box and sticking out the passenger window of Jaguar XJS are two that spring to mind.
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Appy (38) ooh, no no no no!!........ :-)
...speaking of Chandler/Friends/mothers does remind me of one of my favourite ever lines from the show.
Chandler walks into the coffee shop smoking, coffee shop man (is it Gunther?) tells him "you can't smoke in here but may I" (i.e. share your ciggy?), takes a drag, exhales and says "oh dark mother how I suckle at your smokey teat", Chandler declines to take it back!!
should I even own up to watching "Friends" here?!
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Let's see if I've got this right: after stripping off (7) and moggie-sniffing (13) - and I am not even going to mention a bucket loads of maggots - we all bundled round to admire Appy's etchings, (24) and Horse remarked that he's never found hooves protruding from a jaguar...(39)
[although I have seen hooves sticking out of a Boa]
Is it me?!!!! I am just putting the salad in a maranade for the BBQ later...
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But Horse has found horses hooves sticking out of a Jaguar ... hasn't he?
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lFF 40, Friends can be quite funny. The TV program, that is. Although some of my friends can be quite funny. I find Lisa Kudrow to be quite tasty, but then I have odd tastes. (Too many 'quites' in that paragraph, and that makes one more.
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lFF 35, I should have written my advice about maggots sooner.
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Hmm, Quite so David (43)......
and (44) thank you but I think I would have passed - it's one thing having a bucketload of fairly dormant maggots to deal with, but having them turn into a huge black cloud of a million moving flies..........once again...eeewww!
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lFF 45, A pome:
A flea and a fly in a flue
Were imprisoned, so what could they do?
Said the flea, "Let us fly."
Said the fly, "Let us flea."
So they flew though a flaw in the flue.
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Quite quiet on the beach...
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I've also seen a horse fly.
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TIH 48, But have you seen an elephant fly? A very big zip.
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iFF 45, I would have put the bucket of maggots out for birds to eat.
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What ho!
Did you miss me? I missed you guys.
What a summer I've had, not much of it good. Main reason for not coming and playing on the Beach has been that work has been hellish busy. My office has been losing people hand over fist (I expect they're down the back of the sofa somewhere - possibly drunk, probably having a good time), and there's been much, much more work! I dread to think the hours I've been doing - Mrs Wonko asked who I was the other day and how I'd got in the house! ;o)
So, I've just found five minutes before going home to dip my toes in the water and say "Hi". I hope to be posting again more regularly soon, we've been promised more staff come the end of the month.
;o) []
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Hi Wonko! Welcome back!
Salaaaaami
ed
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Speaking of maggots ..... Many years ago, I was overnighting on a friend's sofa (in a semi basement room). Awaking in the morning, the whole floor was alive with maggots! My friend and I then spent a couple of hours 'hoovering' them up.
We've no idea where they came from, nor how they managed to multiply so quickly (perhaps one of the scientists amongst us knows?), but it was truly grotesque, like something out of a horror movie.
I'd quite forgotten about it until this discussion started.
(Oh, and just for once I was around for PM letters - and felt very chuffed! Thank you, Eddie!)
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Yo! Wonko! Great to hear from you again.
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Hi Wonko - got time for a glass or three?
Welcome back ;o)
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Wonko, if you take up all these offers, you'll soon be Wonk-y
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Hi Wonko.......welcome back 'old' friend!
There is a chilled pint of my 'special' Scrumpy at Nc's for you.
Anyhoo, back from Hackney this eve, just time to get a change of shreddies before I head off to Frome in the morning!
I passed Mrs DiY going out with the 'girls' as I came in so it's a Chinese again tonight!
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Hey.....Welcome back Wonko!
Something's not quite right here. It's Friday night, Mr FluffyFi has gone out, the children are watching DVD's as a Friday night treat - except they couldn't agree on which one, so my son is watching Star Wars in our bedroom and my daughter is watching High School Musical in the living room........and I am sitting here in the kitchen on my own eating rice crispies (too lazy to cook)!!
.....time to uncork that bottle of sauvignon in the fridge (which luckily says on the label that it is ideally served with fish, chicken, crisp salad or rice crispies) How fortunate!
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hey LFF, dont sit in the kitchen on your ownsome, come on down to the beach...!!! its only a stroll away, and you can remain in the comfort of your own home - and bask in the evening starlight, as the cool zephyrs waft shorewards o'er the waves....
pour me a glass, please!!!
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Diy, Fi, Don't forget to take a picture of your teas. Mind you I forgot to do one of yesterdays Mousakka (left overs from Wednesday) or todays Take Away (Chinese). Shiraz on bar. Just waiting for Tesburysons delivery boy. Kids in bed, wife on phone, me on PC.
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We had a Chinese Takeaway too - I've still got some prawn crackers, if anyone wants some?
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Well n-n (59) how can I refuse.......... and your glass has been filled, enjoy
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Tesburysons man been. So Croissants have arrived for tomorrows breakfast. No you are not allowed them yet!
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Dear friends, thank you all so much for the kind words of welcome. And alcohol! Mine's a pint. Of single malt. ;o)
I feel a bit wonky, that's for sure. I do not know where the last two (or is it three... you see how bad it's gotten) months have gone. One minute I'm looking forward to a nice relaxed summer, the next it's September. No fair, I want my summer back! Ah well, at least it's always warm and sunny on the Beach.
Having made it home this evening after a horrendous and very crammed journey on the tube, Mrs Wonko suggested dinner at our local branch of a certain Scandinavian furniture and household items chain (other places to take screaming kids and argue loudly with your life partner are available). Lo and behold an hour and a bit later we've bought a new sofa! In theory it's being delivered on Sunday. I say in theory as our road is very narrow, to the extent that cars are allowed by the council to park on the pavement otherwise the dustmen wouldn't be able to get down the road. We always make a point of telling delivery people this fact: "No really, it's very narrow" but somehow they never seem to believe us. It usually ends up with a very displeased driver knocking at the door, the conversation goes something like this:
"Mr Wonko?"
"Yes."
"We can't get the lorry down the road."
"Yes?"
"It's too narrow you see..."
"Mmmmm?"
"Well, er, you see... We can't get the lorry down the road..."
"We did make it very clear when we ordered that the road was very narrow."
"Well, er, we can't..."
"Get the lorry down the road, yes I've got that. I've ordered the stuff, I've told you the road is narrow, there's not much I can do about it now is there?"
"No..."
"So, how are you going to deliver my purchases?"
"Well, we could put them on the trolley at the end of the road and wheel it down?"
"That sounds like a good idea. I'll leave the door open for you."
And don't get me started about hiring skips, or more accurately persuading the skip company to come and pick the dratted thing up again when it's been filled.
Tra, la, laa. Birds and trees and flowers and happy place.
;o) []
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Morning all. I've got to the beach first. So coffee's on.
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Morning Peeps, coffee is brewing , I have tried waking Stewart M up so I can get me hands on his cross ants, but no joy!
will toast be OK?
Wonko, we live in cold de sack and have a similar problems, delivery peeps can get in ok but have a devil of a job reversing out. Mind you the bin men have it sussed, they reverse in and go forwards out!
anyhoo must get bum into gear I have to get to Frome by early afternoon.
now yawll have a nice day now.
DiY:-)
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Wonko, your story reminds me of something that happened earlier this year here. We also live on a lane, dead end, on which you can pass outside our house, but which, a hundred yards further up, narrows to single vehicle width. In fact, the council have to send a special collection vehicle for rubbish to the one house at the end of the lane. Anyway, we had scaffolders coming to us, and had already given copious directions, etc., which they promptly ignored, went up the lane, couldn't turn round, went into a ditch, broke an axle ...... Eventually, five hours later, they arrived at our house, a mere five hundred yards away.
Moral of the story: Listen to the householder. They do know about 'local conditions'.
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Our local council recently gave planning permission for a group of houses with access so tight that our new recycling collection lorries can't get in and out.
Is it too early for a pint of Boddingtons?
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Too early, Sid?? I don't believe it is - in fact, never mind a pint - here's a barrel!
There's a box of crisps to go with it ;o)
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We are getting a play den (i.e. shed) for the kids. Mutter mutter will take up half the garden, mutter mutter. Actually a good idea as the bigger toys (toy kitchen, dolls prams etc can live in it).
The order confirmation has come with a form to advise on delivery! i.e. narrow roads, How close vehicle can get,how many steps. etc etc. I have decided a photograph (series of photos) will be easiest way to describe where our garden is. House on side of hill. (garage under front room). Its only a two storey dutch bungalow honest.
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Morning all! Mmmm, coffee and beer. The breakfast of champions!
Glad to hear I'm not the only person who has trouble persuading delivery people and lorry drivers that I'm really not kidding when I say our road is narrow! Returning to the subject of skips, I'll share the saga of the last one we hired.
As is often the case with such things the skip lorry could get down our road to deliver the dratted thing, no problem. The problems began when we tried to get them to pick it up. Suffice to say the hire company claimed they made several attempts to pick up the full skip, but couldn't "get the lorry down the road". In various 'phone conversations we enquired how they'd managed to get the same lorry down the road to deliver it? No answer was forthcoming. In the end after six weeks of skippery my wife 'phoned them the morning our dustmen came. She informed them that the dustcart was currently going up and down the road. If the dustcart could make it, so could they. And if they didn't, we were going to ring one of their competitors, get them to taken it away and send the bill to them. Funnily enough, when I got home from work that day the skip was gone!
Anyway must get on. I've got a lot of household furniture chess to play today. It's a great game involving emptying a room in order to get the contents of another room into it, so that the contents of a third can be shifted and a bookcase moved, so that a futon that is currently downstairs can go upstairs in order to make room for the new sofa tomorrow! So it all starts in my office with a bin bag, a lot of clothes hangers and shifting the wardrobe that's currently in here to make way for a single bed. Oh my poor back!
See you later peeps, keep the brandy on stand by.
;o) []
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Wonko, Fabio the masseur may be available. He's not been down to the beach recently but I'm sure if you groan load enough!
But I do not envy your problems. By the way the Sofa will fit in through your door? My brother once had a problem with a sofa from a the same furniture store that sells meat balls.
I am sure that a two kids portions of meat balls there is less expensive than the adult portion that is equivalent of two child portions. And you get free fruit (or did) with the child portion.
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Whatever you have for breakfast, don't send a photo of it to PM or Eddie will have the garden gnome pass judgment on it.
Wonko 71, Wheaties is the breakfast of champions.
lff, I cleared up 30ish slugs in the garden this morning....before breakfast.
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well Wonko, this will certainly be a busy weekend!! I hope it goes well - although one has to worry when you tell us its 'warm and sunny' at eleven at night!!!
brandy on standby.
And listening to everyone's tales, it is a good job the council tax isnt on a 'binman-miles' rate, by the sounds of it!!
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Dave (73) 30 eh? yum, yum
Last nights remnants from the Indian take-away is the breakfast of Kings
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Afternoon Peeps....I'm now in a very damp Frome ohhh arrrr. Wotz for tea, besides Scrumpy?
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Tbird 75, This is an interesting recipe for snail fritters that takes only ten.
Ingredients
10 freshly slaughtered slugs cleaned of all outer mucous
1/2 cup of cornmeal
1/2 cup of high protein flour
3 eggs
2 egg yolks
1/4 cup of heavy cream
4 tbs. Of butter
4tsp.of sour cream
Instructions
First chop the slugs into fine mince, then beat the eggs and egg yolks with the heavy cream together. Sift the dry ingredients and then cut 2 tbs of butter into that mixture. Add the egg and cream mixture to the dry ingredients and whip with a whisk vigorously for one to two minutes. Melt one tbs of butter in a sauté pan and pure the batter into 2 1/2 inch cakes in two batches. Serve warm with a dollop of sour cream.
Yields 4 servings
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What is a saut pan.
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Ole! My keyboard just went Spanish and my ? became a _. I just switched it back to Engerlish, so put this '?' after my question in the previous post where there is a '.' .
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my ol' gran had a sauté pan once, swore by it she did. said it was good for givin' grandpa a right ol' wallop when he come in after a night down the dogs.
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mind you she said when she gave it up for the war effort it was turned into a Spitfire, a Lancaster and a small frigate named HMS Troutbridge.
we worried abaht our ol' gran we did!
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DI_W 80, 81, We worry about you.
I told people that when my wife had her knee replacement op (coming along nicely, thank you) they used old Spitfire parts and put the propeller on the front to make her move faster.
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DI_W 80, 81, What was wrong with 80? I read it before it disappeared and saw nothing wrong. A bit violent maybe...
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TIH 20, Shame nobody replied to your very touching cat story after all the troulbe you went to to tell it. You must have felt bad when it disappeared.
We had an oriental cat of some type move in with us, as they do, and gubber me if it didn't speak Mandarin. We let the UN use it as a translater and eventually it disappeared. It turned out that it was a spy and had returned to China.
I think I saw your cat busking at Kings Cross recently. People threw it those packets of Felix, so I think it is well fed. I only had a few white bait, so threw it a couple. It did a bit of Paganini for me and tipped its cap. Spilled out the white bait...
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hey....p'raps one of the mods is related to my grand pah, and didn't like his ass getting whapped by grans saut£ pan!!
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David M, Laird of St Albans!
re DI_W 80, 81, We worry about you.
Thanks.....!!
Have a pint of sumfink..while I nip out for a Chinese
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This merlot going down too easily. We was robbed in that dance contest! Mindless TV for a saturday night.
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Morning Frogging Peeps, not quite so damp in Frome this morn.
Today RL will find me in Hunting Raven bunging in new IT stuff.
Before that though, a quiet stroll along the beach and a breakfast of coffee and cereals!
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DI_W 86, Good thing you didn't say 'nip out for a Japanese'.
I collected another 20 slugs this morning, enough for two recipes of slug fritters. Anybody want the extra 10?
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Stewart M 87, The license payers were robbed in that dance contest. A load of rubbish. Almost as bad as Last Choir Standing. More like Last Bunch of People Shouting standing. We watched taped Law and Orders. Would have gone to the pub if it hadn't been raining.
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Stewart M 87, The Coast isn't bad. I worked with that Mark Horton on two excavations.
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DIW - what street is that bookshop on?!
Toast and Marmalade for any midmorning froggers!!
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nn 92, Er, Cheap Street?
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Hello everybody.
The sun shineth in Aperitifville. Who would like some home-dried tomatoes to go with their lunch?
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n-n David is correct Cheap Street!
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I hate furniture.
Today not only do we have the new sofa arriving, Mrs Wonko has decided that *everything* downstairs has to move to accommodate it. We have a through living room/dining room. Until this morning the "living" area was at the back and the dining area at the front. As of this moment the whole thing is in the process of being switched over. Incidentally this is moving everything back to how it was when we first moved in. If I am giving the impression that I am fed up, annoyed, in pain (back ache, bumping head lots, cuts and bruises, and headache from de-hydration) and actually wishing it was a week day so I could be at work and not having to do all this, then you have understood me perfectly.
I am not in a good mood.
Stumping off into the sunset to go and kick a brown paper bag (most efficacious - makes a loud noise but doesn't hurt or break anything).
;o( []
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Wonko, don't kick that one it's got a house brick inside it!
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DIY - Ah, so that's where I've going wrong all these years! ;o) []
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Wonko, no problemo my little wood badge friend....glad to be of service
DiY:-)
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whoops, 4 badge read beads!
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this RL place has soooooooo many books!
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DI_W 95, She obviously didn't click on the blue thingy.
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Of course, maggots are also edible:
Recipe: Maggot crisps
Deep fry 50 g of maggots in a chip pan at 180 °C, until they are crispy. Pat excess fat. Season with pepper and salt, and serve hot.
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DIY - you were right first time, they may be beads, but it's called a badge!
;o) []
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Hello everyone! Haven't been on the beach for many moons due to various RL interruptions, but I see the beach has been well-tended for in my extended absence - just as I would expect from all the lovely beach froggers.
My daughter has just made a huge batch of scones, so I've brought some to the beach in the hope that someone else will finish off the whipped cream and raspberry jam that accompanies them, before I blow up like a balloon.
DIY - I have missed your speedos - are you still wearing the same pair, or have you been forced to buy more due to salt -water damage?
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Welcome back Perky!
Just lurve yer daughter’s scones
(Am I allowed to say that?!!!!!)
Re the Speedos, I now have a different pair for different occasions and days of the week.
Currently I'm in my Sunday Best (Silver lacrame with red beads, blue tassels and reinforced gusset), later I shall be changing into my Indian Meal take away pair, much the same but with an extendable exhaust vent.
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..oh and a pouch for Naan bread...
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Blimey - with all those modifications, it's a wonder you manage to fit any of yourself into them ;)
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Perky - from one long time absentee to another, welcome back!
;o) []
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Thanks Wonko - and how are you?? I've just opened a bottle of red if you want to sit by the bar and catch up . . .
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hic!
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I'm in a lot better spirits (fnar, fnar) thank I was before. The sofa has arrived, been installed and the living room returned to something approaching normality. Almost.
I must away now, Mrs Wonk and I have decided it's a fish and chip night as we're both too knackered. Any orders?
;o) []
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Wonko, I had the last cod. We decided Frank & Benny needed to be visited. (other chain restaurants available). Hope you have not spilled anything on new sofa yet!!
Took kids and bikes to Spen Valley Greenway. (sounds dead posh for a cycle path to Heckmondwyke).
Anyhoo kids enjoyed it. Only got one small splattering of rain, managed to find a few more splatterings of Mud. That was after we finally persuaded small one that she can still ride a bike. Prior to this I was putting up a new curtain rail and as we forgot to set the oven to cook the chicken going out was best bet.
Should not but may have to open a glass of something. Any preferences?
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Open a glass of something??
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If it's chilled and white (or even warm and red) then it's fine by me Stewart.....cheers
Are you feeling better now Wonko?
We headed down to the New Forest today for a spot of sunday lunch (where did the expression come from? I'd feel very robbed if I was presented with just a single spot of lunch on my plate!). Anyway we had intended going for the weekend but the prospect of torrential rain was slightly off putting. So we settled for a day trip and lunch, and whilst there the farmer's market was on so I have brought with me to share around a batch of rather yummy ginger and spring onion sausages.......bit late for the barbie now I guess so they'll do for breakfast tomorrow.
And David can you please please stop talking about maggots.......thank you! I still get the shudders when I think of our (not so) little collection.....ok I was safely hiding out at work while SO do all the hard work, but I felt his pain!! Ever since they had the giant maggots on Dr Who many moons ago I have had a serious phobia.......yuk yuk yuk.
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Cocoa being made. I have to say that the cocoa powder makes a better paste when mixed with spirit (rum my favourite) before adding the milk and sweetner (be it sugar low calorie fake sugar or honey etc).
FluffyFi I remember That Dr Who. I think giant spider one was more scarey.
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Morning Frogging Peeps. OJ and toast now available at NC's!
Way too much Indian food was consumed last eve, still feeling bloated!
Anyhoo RL Monday morning has to be faced.
Yawll have a nice day.
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Thanks for the juice, DIY man. I'll start the coffee going, and if someone would like to pop the croissants in for a quick warm through ...
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Off to Cornwall for two nights, peeps. Let's hope the weather's not too wet.
Perhaps I'll give Witchi a wave?
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Croissants are in, warming nicely, Sid...
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FFFF 115,
This poem by Charles Spence (1779-1869) may not be quite in the same class as Burns' "To a Louse" - but it certainly raises a smile. Towards the end, Spence tips his hat again to Burns, with ideas of the brotherhood of man - or maggots!
The Maggots
The maggots have nestled in Geordie's hat;
The maggots have quarrelled in Geordie's hat;
There were three of them murdered, and thirty-three grat -
The poor silly maggots in Geordie's hat,
Up gat an auld maggot, a wonder to see,
His gnarled grey head was so silly and wee,
And he said, after ten times he hoasted and spat,
"There are owre mony maggots in Geordie's hat."
An impudent maggot sprang out of the raw,
And cried, "Daddy, wha hath begotten us a'?
"Tis a foul flyte for ane that's sae faur in the faut
If there's owre mony maggots in Geordie's hat"
Here an old mother maggot skreeched out "Hold thy peace,
Thou varlet, thou viper, thou vile scant o' grace!
Snap ye your ain daddy wi' ill-seasoned chat,
Thou silliest maggot in Geordie's hat?"
Up spake a bold leader - "What means this ill weather?
Are we not all maggots - all maggots together?
Though our number were double - the better for that -
We are all brother-maggots in Geordie's hat."
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FFFF 115, 121 was sent to you. It was a poem about maggots by Charles Spence (1779-1869). The mods must not have liked some of the old Scottish words. Probably filth of some kind. Or the mods have perverted minds.
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All, I've had enough of over-sensitive mods. Bye.
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David don't go.........how thoughtful....you dedicated poetry to little ol' me (even it was about those little pesky critters I consider most creepy and yukky in the whole world!) It is, after all, the thought that counts
;-)
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Enough about the maggots now!! Instead, let's have some (late) elevenses. I've brought hazelnut shortbread, if anyone's interested?
Fi - any of those sausages left? I was too late last night, but I do quite fancy one for lunch . . .
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Oh, and Fi - is that your strapline? I love it!
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Morning All.
David, sorry to see you go. I too have in all innocence run fowl of the mods (they seemed to take objection to a word for a meaning I never knew it had, and was therefore obviously not the sense I used it in). So, I sympathise.
I see there's a a couple of croissants left and the coffee pot's on. Lovely.
Well, I'm at work today and Mrs Wonko if left with the remaining wreckage of our internal house move over the weekend. There's still much to be done, but at least the new sofa is firm, supportive, but comfortable - we road tested it last night while watching David Lynch's "Dune", which is my standard 'we moved the room around again so I need to check the set up of the DVD surround sound system' movie. All is well.
;o) []
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David (102), Nikki Noodle is a bloke.
David (123), You probably won't be reading this then...
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yep Perky - the sausages are grilling nicely. Help yourself
And hooray....my first ever strapline!! But I sent it in a long time ago (back in the day when I was just plain old Fiona), I recall a run of several days where all the straplines were by Fifi......and so I came up with this little strapline (inspired or what!)
David, have read the poem in question - cannot see what the mods took offence with!
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Perky (125) Ta for the shortbread - lovely with my cup of builder's tea ;o)
I'll raise my cup to Big Sis, hoping she gets some fine weather.
I'll also raise it to all those mites who have just started school, the big uns who have gone to Big School, and the newly grown-up who have started their first proper job ;o)
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Well said, littleFluffyFi - on all counts ;o)
I've had comments modded when I've used dialect words - apparently, it's not English!!
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Fi - that strapline's been there before - perhaps you were on holiday?
Re modding: I have an impression that anything that looks unEnglish is weeded out automatically - so not necessarily a sense of humour failure by the mods. Though they never reinstate such postings.
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wow, my 80 is back, oive bean de-modded!
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DI_Wyman - why on earth was that modded??
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And why did it take nearly two days to get it unmodded?? Good grief ...
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FF 124, Common sense has prevailed, 121 is back. Would they do the same with Shakespeare, Burns, or Beowulf?
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Yay.....charge your glasses folks and let's drink a toast to free speech.......in whatever dialect we like!!
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lFF 137, Mine's homemade redcurrant wine. Ran out of raspberry.
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A. 128, Nikki Noodle sounds female to me.
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Sid 134, i fink they got me muddled up with David_McNickle!
DiY :-)
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DMcN (139) turn the bass up on your hearing aid.
Baron Nikoli von Nudleburg (with two dots)
:
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DIY I think it was alleged spouse abuse.
Weekend automated modding perhaps.
She should have used a wet pair of speedos.
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Morning Frogging Peeps....wet, wet, wet, that's wot it be North Somerset today.
Tea and Porridge at NC's to compensate!
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Ah porridge! Any brown sugar to sprinkle on it? Yes, yes, I know I'm a sassanach! Sorry, I just prefer it that way.
I'll put the coffee on...
;o) []
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Porridge - yum. Can I have maple syrup with mine?
Also some toasted brioche on the bar, with butter and raspberry jam. Goes perfectly with your coffee, Wonko . . .
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Morning All.
David (139), I wasn't expressing an opinion, I was stating fact. Trust me. Or trust Mr Noodle himslef at 141...
Everyone, have you heard? They're back together after all that sh*t??!!
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nn 141, Give me your real name and I will believe that you are a man. If you are man enough, that is.
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I jusy sent a food photo to Edward of slugs on lettuce and homemade apple wine. A very nice mid-morning snack, if you can catch them.
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FLASH! My photo has been received. Now to see if appears on the blog.
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Why such a bee in your bonnet about nicknames David (148)? It's fairly standard practise but online and off. Lots of us here know each others' real names anyway, but it is prudent not to post a lot of personal information about oneself in such a public space. I don't understand why it exercises you so much. (And we've no proof that you are using your real name.)
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Aper 150, Google me and you'll see a lot of my letters to The Indy. Assuming that is a real name, of course. (They do call and check.) And some David McNickles who aren't me.
I just like to know if a person is a male or female so that I can refer to them as something other than 'it'.
My father's nickname was Rusty because his real name was Russell, but he didn't have red hair. His brother did, but Arthur doesn't lend itself to Rusty. I believe he went by Art which is interesting because his son is an artist (Also Googleable if you know his first name. Or possibly even if you don't.). As both Rusty and Art are dead, I'm not exposing them to internet porn by giving their names.
I don't know the name of anybody name here unless they use it as I don't know anybody here. I am not part of the BBC clique. Of course, two BBCers live near me and a member of the Eastenders cast does/did.
I used to be a beekeeper....
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Ap (146)
Who is back together?
Why were they apart?
All what sh*t?
What have I missed?
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TIH 152, Is that a poem?
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DMcN (153) - Well if it is, it's blank verse.
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Lovely poem. Is it about knife crime?
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Sid 155, It is an edited version of Eastenders.
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David (156) It's better than EastEnders!!
Can we keep the Beach for nice beachy things please? This is my escape from blog-land. To encourage friendliness, I have brought a large picnic hamper full of various treats for lunch, including some rather nice white wine. Everyone welcome, of course.
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Perky 157, For goodness sake! Another person who wants to tell everybody else what to say. I hate beaches!
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TIH 154, Can you have loaded verse? What caliber? Isn't this beach loverly? The white sand is much better than those pebbly beaches, doncha think? And all the food is just delicious. Just remember to clear up the rubbish. Gotta go, it's coffee time, for real.
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David (158): To be fair, the Beach is meant as a relaxing place, away from the cares of RL. If you look at the intros to the Beach that Eddie puts up weekly, you'll see what I mean.
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FF 160, I carefully read everything Eddie writes. And we all have our own styles of writing.
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What ho!
Lunchtime. To add to Perky's lovely hamper I've brought some fresh mackeral , which I'm going to barbecue. Choice of sauces to go with; a lemon, dill and creme fraiche one or a sweet chilli and orange one.
Is there any coffee left in that pot? It's been rather a long morning.
;o) []
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Roast Chicken, Homemade bread and Salad stuff to add.
I must admit I fancy a glass of something. But it'll have to be a pot of tea!
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Stewart M 163, Do you use one of those breadmaking machines?
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Never understood what the advantage of a bread making machine might be over the simple pleasure of kneading dough, waiting for it to rise and putting it in the oven. Is it easier, cheaper or just gadgetty (doesn't look like a real word, but you know what I mean) ?
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good eve peeps, chinese take away time again, but for the last time in Frome as on the morrow i travel the road back to Norfolk.
so who wont wot?
oh, there also be gen-u-ine Zomerzet scrumpy to be consumed as well...hic..
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Anne P, I so totally agree. My parents make their own bread (always have done) and I remember when they bought a Bread Machine and proudly turned out the first loaf...
.
.
.
.
.
.the hens had fresh bread for supper that night.....say no more.
They reverted to the traditional 'hands on' method!
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(147) that's like asking the time;
"I have it written here on a piece of paper..."
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n-n, your testosterone level is not in doubt!
'ere, put these Speedos on and then moon 'im!!!!!
Diy :-)
(never knowingly without troll-beating-Speedos)
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So what do you do, n-n, if it isn't eight o'clock?
While I'm here, a pint of Merlot would go down a treat ... actually, some of that Italian Merlot is quite gluggable ...
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David (151), Hmm. I'm afraid I remain puzzled by your "problem" with nicknames. Your comment about your father and brother having nicknames kind of makes my point doesn't it? "Aperitif", as I have explained a few times here (although admittedly possibly before you joined in) is derived from my given name and is something that people who know me off blog do call me. It'd be much like your father posting here as "Rusty" I suppose. And regulars know I am female -- I assumed you knew but perhaps you didn't until now -- and photographs have appeared here which would support that! There. No need to think of me as "it" any more. Now then, I usually imagine your posts are written with your tongue well inside your cheek, but your seem disgruntled today. I hope you don't think me asking questions is somehow synonomous with "people telling you what to think", or are you teasing again? Would first dibs on the purple hamock soothe you?
Horse (152), Thank you for asking! The answer is, of course, your bum-cheeks?! :-)
Anne (165), A friend once asked me if I'd like a bread maker as a wedding gift. I think I said "Oh, that's an idea", but my face must've given my true feelings way because she gave us champagne instead...
Um DIY (169), Very kind of you to offer Mr Noodle your speedoes but you'll get yourself arrested if you go around without them!!!
Who's for a glass of this lovely bubbly? I'm having a toast to future success (fingers crossed) -- there's enough for all to share.
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Appy..I always have a spare pair......just in case!
It's a British thing you know, what what!
(Carry on chaps, keep up the good work )
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David McNickle, hello, hello. The name that I use on this Beach was given to me on this beach by someone I met here. Is that so great a problem for you?
Do you have trouble about the sexes of people called Andy, Billy, Jean, Jan, Jacky, Jay, Dee, Nick, Pat, Mel, Davy, Hilary, Evelyn, Chris, Gaby, Rowan, Robin, Marion, Harry, Merry, Kay, Ray, Pete, Roz, Marty, Val, Lindsey, Alex, Frank, Hilary, Terry, Max, Stacy, Tracy, Al... ? (I don't suppose that's anything like a complete list of ambisexterous names, but it's the ones I can think of off-hand)
or do you just leave their owners in peace and quiet about it?
I was at school with a girl called Eddie. :-)
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Appy (171) ah, wedding presents....you did well to fend it off, there's always something you don't want or never use. I have a pair of very pretty, tiny silver forks, embellished with Scottish thistles, which I think were meant for cocktail olives or some such. Never been out of the box in over forty years!
I'll join you in toasting your future success - sliante, and good luck!
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Sid (170)
Then I don't show them the piece of paper!
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"ambisexterous" Selky - I like that. Seem to remember a bit of research once about girls with ambisextrous names doing better career-wise than their peers with more feminine ones. Not sure how good the research was though! Too serious for the beach methinks.
I'm for some more of Appy's champagne and then I shall snuggle down in the purple hammock and watch the sun set (which you may have noticed it does to a timetable to suit and not in the least in time with the sun in other places).
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Appy - are the bubbles still popping? If they are then here's my glass *winning smile* :-)
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Oh eek, and I didn't think to mention 'Sid'. Or Vivian. Vivian Stanshall's daughter is called Sid.
I don't think this is a serious business, Anne P; I think the whole thing is frivolous in the extreme. :-)
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Evenin' all. Nice to not see the troll :)
Meanwhile I'm having fun experimenting...
My laptop's decided it doesn't like it's built-in wireless card any more, and until I get around to phoning HP for a free repair (which of course will mean shipping it to them for a week or two), I'm using my desktop box...
...which is running Linux (Mandriva 2008.1 Free).
Over the past couple of days I've got it all configured and updated - together with Compiz Fusion, Firefox and a non-MS program that can play MS Media Player files (inc. Camstreams). Now to thoroughly test it out!
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Morning Peeps -a - Frogging.
Just in case the LHC does produce a black hole this morning, and we all disappear into the chasam of doom near Grantham (Grauniad joke), I suggest an early breakfast of Coffee (Blue Mountain), fresh Graperfruit and Toast with Lemon Marmalade.
mittfh, you could try uninstalling it and then doing a reboot so that it reinstalls itself a-fresh.
(Diy, wearing Black Hole Speedos)
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Thanks Diy. Lovely breakfast.
I must say, those speedos look pretty damn good on you. I wouldn't normally say, but given that we may all be vanishing into a black hole any minute now ...
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n-n (175)
My favourite bit of the Goons ever. I get the giggles just thinking about it.
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178 OK - Sam, Charlie, George, Johnny, Lesley (albeit two spellings), Fred.....actually I suspect the list is infinite or at least as long as any list of names can be.
Fresh toast and porridge on the bar for those with black holes to fill.
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Sid, N-N, thank you for raising a smile in remembrance of maybe the funniest piece of radio. Here, have a gorilla :-)
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S_P 173, You actually 'met' someone here? You actually 'saw' him/her/it? Got sand in your shoes, did you? Ate a good picnic lunch? Call yourself what you want Mr/Mrs/Ms/whatever S_P. Good-bye good-bye.
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Aper 171, I'm afraid that you will remain puzzled.
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"All we ask is that you be nice to everyone."
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Morning all. I've made some more coffee as I seem to be incapable of concentrating on work this morning. Help yourselves - there are oat & choc chip cookies to go with it.
I'm off for a swim to see if I can clear my head ;)
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Sid, FF - you are so right!! It works, every time!!!
"...But how does 'she' know????"
n-n
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David Re Bread Machine, yes I do use one. I throw water, Oil, Flour, Sugar, salt and yeast in at 10.30pm. Press a few buttons and at 7.00 am I have a fresh and warm loaf.
You must use strong flour and the scahets of fast acting yeast or it does notplay.
Mittfh, I keep dabbling with Linux and ebayed a asus eeepc a few weeks back, Its a great, small laptop running linux. Ideal for taking away. It was a bit of a faff to update Open Office on it (I had to revert to wikinotes) But it plays the MP4 tracks on my external HDD that itunes made for me. I don't think a windoze machine does that unless iTunes is installed (though I stand to be corrected)
Now who wants to come to CERN with me, They craked open the Champagne at about 9.30 local time. Suspect that if they keep doing that they will never find that black hole!
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What ho!
Well, all this talk of bread and champagne has made me hungry and thirsty! I too have a bread machine, and what's more I bought it, it was not a gift! I used to make all my bread in it (and cakes) before I met Mrs Wonko. She decided it tasted "funny" - or fresh and natural with no artificial ingredients as I prefer to put it - and insists on bought white sliced!
Also pleased to see a couple of other Linux users on here! I use the Ubuntu distribution at home, haven't yet persuaded my employer to go Open Source. All I can say is that it meets my needs!
Now is the purple hammock free?
;o) []
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afternoon peeps, good news from CERN. they now have Speedo particles whizzing round at quite a rate.
DiY :-)
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There is a theory which states that if anyone every works out what the Universe is for, and how it works, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even stranger.
There is another theory which states this has already happened.
Personally I'm with Prof. Stephen Hawking: I'd like them not to find evidence for the Higgs Bozon, because that means the Standard Model is wrong and we'll have to start again!
Seriously, best of luck to them I say.
;o) []
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Good old Mrs Wonko for bringing the bread debate to sensible conclusion.....!
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All this LHC bumf...The latest astronomical observations suggest ordinary matter - such as the galaxies, gas, stars and planets - makes up just 4% of the Universe.
The rest is dark matter (23%) and dark energy (73%). Physicists think the LHC could provide clues about the nature of this mysterious "stuff". ...
I think they should be looking at Sid's PHd research into the Harvesting, Preperation, Boiling and Serving of the Brussels Sprout. Then they would actually know a lot more about "stuff"
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Ubuntu here as well, Wonko. Can't decide whether the heron is an improvement on the gibbon, though...It sometimes seems like the "improvements" promulgated by my bank...
;-)
ed
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Stewart 190, We have a machine that our daughter gave us and never used. We find that it works fine except for the hole in the bottom of the loaf. We have no central heating and if the kitchen is below ten (50) degrees, the machine won't work. We is very primitive pipple.
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Hi Ed,
I like Hardy Heron. It's not perfect by any means, but it is a step forward is useability, especially for newer users. And it's improved the wireless networking capability (previously a bit of an Achilles Heel).
Pimms O'Clock anyone? Where's my copy of "Prince Charming"..?
;o) []
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Well David, that's St Albans for you.
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Just remember what happened when the tigers chased each other around the tree. Don't mess with mother nature! Pancakes anyone?
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Sid @ 187, but if DMcN is only happy if he's having a bit of a barny with someone, isn't it nicer to give him what he wants?
AnneP @ 183, Leslie Fish is a female folk-protest singer-songwriter, so it doesn't have to be spelt a different way, even. You're right, there are lots of them, even if one sticks to names that have been around for people for a while, rather than being cutesy new notions for trendy parents to annoy their children with, or bits of the globe where the kid was conceived.
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S_P 201, Rule 231 1/2 b, You talk to people here, not about them.
Is that Fish related to Mardi Fish the tennis player or Fish from Barney Miller?
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Good eve Frogging Peeps, it seems my toroidal ring is sucking in my Speedo particles......can anyone help?
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DIY - try unplugging it at the wall.
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DI_Wyman - have you tried giving it a big bang? Beware of any discharge, though, and remember to keep it as cold as possible - it may be best to sit in a bucket of ice while you do it ;o)
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Quick DIY (203), whip out your spare pair!... Oh yes, Mr Noodle has them... um, I think you're about to be exposed, in more ways than one...
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It's noooo good Captain....she's gonna blow.....
OK... Scottie eject the Speedo drive on my command..
3
.
.
.
.
2
.
.
.
.
1
..
Now Scottie
I cannaie doo it Captain ......there will be dark matter everywhere, and wheel all be doomed I tell yeh
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I Know, get Sid, he has a Fast Breader Sprout Reactor he will know what to do.....
(2 B continued)
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I caught a bit of Torchwood on my way to a meeting. They had to use the old "reverse polarity" cliche. I'm going to download the podcast though.
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Stewart....do not "reverse polarity" my Speedos untill oi take em orff..!!
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David - 197 - that "hole" in the bottom of your bread. It's not a "black hole" is it, by any chance? Only I heard a lot of people in Geneva were looking for one. It's cost them a lot, trying to find it. Funny if it was there at the bottom of your bread machine all the time...
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Morning Peeps, journey back to Narfolk from Zomerzet wasn't too bad, I went via Bath to get a dose of architecture.
Anyhoo a day off from RL today so I claim the LHC hammock. Coffee is available at NC's along with a a bowl of freshly made fruit salad!
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DI_Wyman @ 195 - that brought a tear to my eye - I didn't know anyone had read my PhD thesis. It all seems so very, very long ago ... Thank you - you've made a happy man very very old.
Do you still need the Fast Sprout Breeder Reactor, by the way? I can get one of my spares up and running in about a fortnight.
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SP - you may be right ...
Re names - we had a girl called Kc at one of my schools ... we couldn't put her on the computer because there wasn't a vowel in her first name. I do sometimes think we ought to stick to proper names. Apparently the Brazilians are worst at making them up.
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Sid 213, nah it's ok I have sent a bag of Sprouts to Cern, they going to use them instead of hydrogen. That way I reckon they will get more mysterious stuff than they know what to do with.
And an added bonus of having them ready for Christmas lunch.
(wanders....could they get a Turkey into the Atlas and then the sausages into Alice?)
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Morning all.
I'm somewhat put off my breakfast by the smell of sprouts around here!
Who's for a swim out to the farthest buoy whilst the air clears? First one back puts the bacon on the grill for sarnies. Last one back has to butter the bread.
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Ap - I hope we have a choice of brown and red sauce! We don't want that debate all over again.
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Oh, go on, Horse - you know we love a lively debate on the Blog!
I'll get the grill heated (healthy bacon!)...
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and don't forget the mustard!
right Appy, I'll just go and don my Bacon Sarnie Speedos and then I'll race you...
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annasee 211, It's a bread maker, not a breader reactor. The hole is made by the stirring thingy.
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Horse (217), You can spoil your sarnie with whatever you like, but it's ketchup for me!
Sis (218), That horse needs no encouragement.
DIY (219), Speedoes made from from bacon sarnies? You hoping the fish will come nibbling at you or something?
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Big Sis - From memory, Ap once described someone's definition of their ideal bacon sarnie as 'sick'.
And, what is 'healthy bacon'? I mean it has come from a dead pig!
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Horse, you are so right, the pig is indeed dead, but the bacon can still be healthy. Or healthier to eat.
But, just for you, I'll fry some in lard.
"One instant cardiac for the Occasional Equine"
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Big Sis - I couldn't touch anything that was fried in lard!
I'm usually content enough if I get my oats.
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That was my sarnie that was so described, TIH
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"One bowl of porridge for the Occasional Equine, and steady on the milk!"
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Sorry Fearless (225), I am far too forthright on the subject of bacon sarnies. You go ahead and have a peculiar one too.
Sis (226) I think you'll find the Horse has already had his oats for the present :-)
Are we having that swim or not? DIY is all baconned up and ready to go!
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I'm just putting my water wings on, Appy :-)
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Big Sis - Thank you. I always enjoy porridge after I've had my oats.
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Mmmm... bacon. I could do with a bacon sarnie.
Had a bit of trouble yesterday. Had to walk a couple of miles home after the tube last night. There had been an accident on my bus route home, and there was no suitable diversion. As a result buses were going up to a certain point and then tipping everyone off to make their own way! Not what I needed after a long day in the office. Still, the exercise probably did me good!
Can I place an order for my sarnie? Plain white bread, no butter, red sauce, twist of black pepper and a splash or two of Worcester Sauce please. Oh, and bacon nice and crispy please.
;o) []
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Appy 221....my wardrobe is extensive..I have Speedos for almost every occasion.
FF, how on earth can you expect to fly with thos wings......?
Wonko.....wot no mustard? A >dead-pig-sliced-up-and-fried-sarnie is not a >dead-pig-sliced-up-and-fried-sarnie if it aint got mustard......
(wanders off muttering, are we ever going to swim out to that boy?)
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DIY - never been one for mustard (be it anglais or french) with bacon. I suppose it is a bit odd when you consider that I have it with cold ham, gammon or a pork pie. Mind you I prefer apple sauce with roast pork, so I'm nothing if not inconsistent!
Let's turn this into brunch. I'll put the sausages, hash browns, beans and eggs on. And a large pot of builders tea!
;o) []
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Wonko...nice one....your mustard foibles are forgiven!
'Ere some black pudding for brunch....now if I was nearer to Leominster I could have got some of them thar Boar sausages.....pity, it will have to wait for another day.
Feefs, I haven't forgotten also want some!
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....and another thing!
I have just hung out the washing in RL.
Now I know I put in several complete pairs of socks into the wash, but, by the time I have got to hang them out I have one odd sock left over!
Perhaps the Black Hole has moved from David M's bread machine in St Albans to our washng machine in Norfolk?
Don't you just wish Prof Steve Hawking was a Frogger?
DiY :-)
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DIY - are you sure you haven't stuffed the socks down your speedos? Bacon or no bacon, they look pretty tight from where I'm sitting.
If brunch is still on, can I add some grilled tomatoes please?
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Perky!....you bin a-peepin again haven't u
Honestly, a chap has to look, well, appear to look as if he has a fully loaded lunch box!
Doesn't he?
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Thought that @ £5 Bn, the Large Hadron Colander filtered all 'S' particles, sprouts, speedos and socks !
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Were they black holed socks?
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Froggersfroat, indeed they were black socks with holes in them!
I think you may have stumbled upon the true answer to Life, The Universe and Everything...it's not 42 after all.
Some peeps are not going to best pleased by this! It means they have to start all over again.
Now where did I put that Higgs boson thingy..I know I had it a moment ago!
DiY, partecle fizics made eezy
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sorry, miss spelt partycle!
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Someone mentioned blank verse a while back...
I always thought this...
...was blank verse :)
For the benefit of DMcN, I am male and have a presence using the same unpronounceable [1] nickname on a few other bits and bobs of the web...
From what I've read, it'll be around the end of October by the time CERN start persuading their super high speed subatomic particles to smash into each other, and a few years of watching them do this before they know what weird and wonderful sub-subatomic particles have been released during the explosions.
Wonko: nice H2G2 reference there :)
IIRC, although the ultimate answer was "42", the Earth was unable to calculate the ultimate question before it's untimely demise. Given that Arthur Dent is probably a descendent of a Golgofrinchan, his attempt "What do you get if you multiply six by nine?" may not have been the earth's latest thinking on TUQ.
[1] Although something approaching "mittfuh" seems to be the unofficially agreed pronunciation.
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mittfh, re CERN, .........just in time for Christmas and the Serving Of The Sprouts (with a side order of Carrots, Peas and boiled Cabbage) ceremony then?
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In case anyone hasn't had breakfast/brunch/lunch yet, there's still some left.
mittfh - you're right. The problem is The Ultimate Answer and Ultimate Question can't exist in the same Universe. It's one of those things that if they did everything would fold in on itself and vanish with a disappointingly small "pop" sound.
Still, anything is possible in an infinite Universe, even The Hitch-Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy!
Right, I'm off for a shower under the waterfall, back in a bit.
;o) []
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DIW (231): I have Speedos for almost every occasion.
Which leads to the question - For what occasion do you lack suitable Speedos???
Patented Speed 0mph. The Speedos to be used when you are going nowhere!
H.
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My Dear Humph!
A very valid question, but one that is also very hard to answer.
However as a Speedo aficionado here are a few examples of where the decision of wot to wear may leave a Speedo wearing Frogger in a quandary:-
1. The arrival of a foreign head of state on a lama.
2. The departure of the 3:15 from Kings Cross wot is running exactly 45 minutes late. (Not to be confused with usual departure of the 4 pm departure from said railway terminus)
3. The unexpected arrival of the Sprout inspector.
4. The unannounced at ones abode of person or persons pertaining from St Albans.
5. Upon the discovery of the DIY Bison partycle.
As you will probably agree, these occurrences are probably unlikely, but (as Wonko may say) one does want to be prepared!
Hang on there is someone at the kitchen door.....ye gods tis the Sprout Inspector, and here is me with nothing to wear!
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DIY
The one-l lama.
He's a priest.
The two-l llama,
He's a beast.
And I will bet
A silk pajama
There isn't any
Three-l lllama.*
- - Ogden Nash
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TIH, you are truly an equine mine of useful knowledge!
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or sumfink
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Conversation overheard in Cern by two partycles "see you again in 0.00000000000000000000027452 seconds"
I'll get me 'lab' coat..............
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(These jokes aren't my own. Look, I'm an IT tech, not a comedian or nuclear physicist...)
"Waiter, there's a black hole in my soup".
"Shush, sir, or everybody will claim the nobel prize".
-oOo-
"Waiter, this quiche looks strange! Is it up or down, is that the top or bottom?"
"Charmed, sir, I'm sure. It was a souffle, until a black hole went through it".
(The above is a play on various subatomic particles)
-oOo-
I blew up the world, and all I got was this lousy T-shirt.
-oOo-
Q. How many quantum physicists does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Depends on whether you look at it....
-oOo-
OK, OK, that's enough for now - oh, and my coat's the one with a black hole in the pocket...
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CERN - Playing with the fundamentals of the Universe, so you don't have to.
;o) []
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TIH 246,
Sorry, it was profane to say, er, um, lllama by separating the l's. So no song. Imagine the song about Katie. Cowshed, kitchen door, etc.
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.....So this neutron walks into a bar, orders a pint of lager and begins to open his wallet when the barman says, "For you, no charge!". ......
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"I think I've lost an electron!"....
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"Are you sure?"
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"I'm positive!"
Boom Boom
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Heisenberg is pulled over for speeding:......
"Do you know how fast you were going?" the police officer asks, incredulously.
"No," replies Heisenberg, "but I know exactly where I am!"
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A lawyer, an accountant and a physicist are discussing, over a beer, whether life is better with a wife or with a girlfriend.
"A wife is better," declares the lawyer, "because of the family support and the help she'll be to your career."
"Nonsense," says the accountant. "A girlfriend is better: you can keep your independence and go out with your friends more."
They turn to the physicist, who says, "It's better to have both. That way, the wife thinks you're with the girlfriend, the girlfriend thinks you're with the wife, and meanwhile you can be down at the lab!"
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I hope they built a big wall around this Collider in case something happens: Hadron's Wall.
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A man went into a pub and ordered a pint of beer. He asked, "How much do you charge." The bartender said, "Four pounds." The man said, "That's not funny and walked out."
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DIY, Mittfh, (various) Thanks for making me laugh :-)
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FF, no problemo Frogging friend.
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The BBC PM Bloggers, it's wot we duz.
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David_McNickle 257, I know the feeling, you only have to go here to find out why.
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oh, it seems that if you go to a certain pub in a town in Hertfordshire and get ripped off for the price of a pint of ale.......you get...modded!
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DIY (253), I told that joke to the congregtaion at my husband's funeral. They laughed, but I'm sure it was only out of politeness.
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DMcN, I'm obviously being slow, but I didn't get your joke at 257. While I do a 'duh', do explain.
It has been a veeerryyy long week and I'm only slowly emerging out of workland. Our eyes take a while to adjust to the light, y'know.
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Oh - and hello, everyone; have been pretty much out of communication cos of work-stuff thingies at all hours.
That purple hammock is minethis weekend; I deserve it; I would only share with someone who had amazingly good ways to cook and serve - serve me, o'course - seafood.
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I did try italics in that last post - attempt to show that I was not being serious.
Oh, well.
Still bagged the purple hammock.
...
I wonder how many we could fit in there if everyone brought along seafoody stylee treats
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amazingly good ways to cook and serve?!
hmmmm
boil from the base-line?!
batter and volley?!
poach and lob?!
top spin a deep fry?
oooo, i've fused a braincell; I'll be lying down, just over there....
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Pssst....DIWyman - I've been to see Cabaret and pinched a pair of Wayne Sleep's after-midnight Speedos for you. They're black leather, complete with suspenders and black stockings. I've wrapped them in brown paper and hidden them behind the bar
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Hmmm. Fused brain cell. Has possibilities. Even if not seafood.
Just a sec (rummages in handbag, finds magnifying glass)
Only slightly overdone. Be all right with a good sauce, and on this basmati rice I treated myself to.
Might have to bulk it up a bit if it's to be a main course, though.
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