The Beach.
The beach is a state of mind, where we escape from the must to the maybe and what if, where thoughts may be lightly etched on the shore or sculpted in the sand, admired and commented on by others, then swept away by the waves or jumped on by small children of all ages...
Listen to PM
© MMIX~RS~q~RS~~RS~z~RS~49~RS~)
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A fine day for the beach. Fresh orange juice and coffee ready this morning.
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it's a frogging friday!
I have left coffee and toast with my fave lemon marmalade at NC's to help kick start the day.
let's all have a really nice day and perhaps we could have a Bar-B-Q and some games on the beach this eve?
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I'll have a glass of OJ, RJM :-)
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I'll try some of your lemon marmalade thanks, DIY.
I'm all excited as I've discovered that some more Jamaican land records have been transcribed and I'm waiting to access them. All on the trail of an intriguing family story which may take us back to the early days of Virginia. We'd put it to one side while fighting for the theatre but were asked to revise what we had for some contacts in the USA earlier this week. I'm all of a quiver of anticipation.
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Ah it's your quivering Anne! I wondered what was making the palm trees sway on such a still morning!
Good Luck with your Jamaican land records - sounds exciting - will you publish in full for us?
DIY yes I'm up for games ;-) later but it'll have to be much later - rehearsing for 'The Planets' after work
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A secret volcano island base Somewhere at sea. The Stainless Steel Cat - Agent Oh-Oh-Shaven - lies tied to a table under a huge laser cutter. A dour figure with an eyepatch appears...
"Ernst Stavro Broonfeld! I might have known you were behind this! I suppose Mandy works for you?"
"Not any longer, Mr Cat. Mandy Olsen has failed to obtain the correct result in the referendum. She has failed. This organisation does not tolerate failure! You will both prepare to meet my nibbling piranha sheep!"
Broonfeld pressed a button on his chair-arm.
*Awooga! Awooga!* /Self destruct initiated/ /Evacuate immediately/*
"I just did," said Mandy.
Broonfeld looked dourer than normal. "I've done it again, haven't I?"
*Boom*
A figure strolled casually out of the sea, striding up the Beach in rather more stylish pants than that Daniel Thing bloke, and stopped at the Nick Clarke bar.
"I'll have a nishe cup of tea. Shaken, not shtirred."
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Cat;
Keep taking the medication.
Q: Is this a part 1 of a serial?
(A: No, if it was we'd have milk on it).
RJM;
I'll come back to you for the coffee later, ta. I'll skip the OJ today. Friday is full fried breakfast day in the works canteen with the team, a semi-religious event which marks the start of the weekend for many of the overworked employees.
WR.
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TSSC, is that me in my Speedo's?
(puffs out chest and flexes biceps)
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DI (8):
Only me doing a weak impression of your SpeedoMeistership.
(puffs and clutches chest, flexes bifocals)
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Oh-Oh-Shaven (6),
You would have thought the arch-villians had learnt by now. You put a rocket underneath the moveable swimming pool, and have collapable palm-trees running along side that straight bit of road with what looks like an adjustable ski-ramp.
White Rat (7), no wonder the country's in a mess if Friday morning is the start of the weekend. I've a full day's work to go yet... ;-)
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The lemon marmalade is good DIY.
Whilst Cat was saving the world, my attention was diverted from the beach by a mother fox feeding and grooming her two cubs in my garden. Wild life watching is a good way to start the day.
Fortunately, I don't have to work today so I can build some sand castles on the beach and pose in me speedos.
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Newsflash:
Police are investigating an accident in which two trucks loaded with copies of Roget's Thesaurus collided as the left a London publishing house. Witnesses were stunned, startled, aghast, taken aback, shocked, stupified...
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mittfh - thanks for that - made me spit coffee on the keybaord.
DIY - the lemon marmalade is great. That reminds me - I never did work out what went wrong with my sprout marmalade ...
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Thank you, mittfh, for making me laugh :-) There's a drink for you at the NCMB after the sun has passed the yard-arm
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Actual Product Instructions (my comments in brackets afterwards)
On a pushchair: Remove child before folding.
On a carpet cleaner: Safe for carpets, too. (As well as what?)
On a bottle of hand lotion: Warning: Starts healing skin on contact. (What do you expect it to do?)
On a curling iron: Do not insert curling iron into any bodily orifice. (Ooh err!)
On a bar of soap: Directions – use like regular soap. (As opposed to what?)
On bottom of a Coca-Cola bottle: Do not open here. (Why not?)
On a bottle of Nytol: Warning – may cause drowsiness. (Interesting side effect...)
On the box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong: Guaranteed to work throughout its useful life. (You mean it has a useless life as well?)
On a child’s Superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable the wearer to fly. (Drat!)
On a 6” x 10” inflatable picture frame: Not to be used as a personal flotation device. (What about a hamster flotation device?)
On a shower cap box: Fits one head. (Not two?)
On a Japanese food processor: Not to be used for the other use. (What other use? I want to know!)
On a bottle of Chinese medicine: Known to cure itching, colds, stomachs, brains, and other diseases. (Since when were your brain and stomach diseases?)
On the packaging for a muffin: Remove wrapper, open mouth, insert muffin, eat. (Either it’s a mini-muffin or they expect you to have a very large mouth!)
On German headphones: Do not increase volume past threshold of pain. (Just in case.)
On a Korean kitchen knife: Warning – keep out of children. (Ever been tempted?)
On the back of a cardboard windshield used to keep a car cool: Please remove before driving. (Unless you have X-Ray vision, of course!)
On Styrofoam packaging: Do not eat. (Corn starch packaging, on the other hand...)
On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only. (So where can’t you use them?)
On a puzzle toy made in Taiwan: Let’s decompose and enjoy assembling. (So easy to assemble you can do it after your death!)
On a Japanese medicine bottle: Adults: one tablet three times a day until passing away. (Hmm...)
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On the packaging for a wristwatch: Warning! This is not underwear! Do not attempt to put in pants. (So not very useful for timing bowel movements then...)
On a Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands. (Ouch!)
On the back of a can of de-icing windshield fluid: Cannot be made non-poisonous. (So I can’t decontaminate it with my chemistry set then?)
On a Boeing 747: Fragile. Do not drop. (Helpful advice for Superman...)
On Boots’ children’s cough medicine: Do not drive car or operate machinery. (What about their sit-and-ride tractor?)
On a box of rat poison: Warning – has been found to cause cancer in laboratory mice. (A slightly slower death than you were expecting?)
On a bottle of dog shampoo: Caution – The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish. (So don’t bathe your dog in the fishpond then...)
On curling iron instructions: Do not put into eyes. (They’re already curved.)
On instructions for a hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (So not ideal for sleepwalkers...)
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On a coffee cup: Caution – hot beverages are hot. (When we say hot we mean it!)
On Sainsbury’s peanuts: Warning – contains nuts. (For the benefit of the intellectually challenged.)
On a sweet wrapper: Remove plastic before eating. (So the plastic’s not corn starch then...)
On a frozen dinner package: Serving suggestion – defrost. (What about heating it as well?)
Printed on the bottom of a box of Tesco’s tiramisu desert: Do not turn upside down. (But in order to read that message...)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions – open package, eat nuts. (No safety warning?)
On a shipment of hammers: May be harmful if swallowed. (For those with mouths big enough to swallow the muffins whole.)
On a toilet bowl cleaning brush: Do not use orally. (Well, the muffin eaters need to clean their extra large teeth somehow...)
On instructions for an electric thermometer: Do not use orally after using rectally. (Yeuch!)
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When politicians get the 'flu, you never know which way they're going to vote. Sometimes the eyes have it, and sometimes the nose.
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I say, we're all on fine form today, aren't we? And so early too.
GM - is that The Planets at the Phil in a couple of weeks? A charity concert? If so, I'll see you there! Someone told me the cafe bar had closed. Is it true, do you know? I can hardly bear to think so.
Sid, if your sprout marmalade didn't work, perhaps you could convert the leftovers to sprout rumtopf? Of have you already done that? What about a nice sprout liqueur? (Don't think I spelt that right) I'm sure it would be a lovely bright green. If it didn't sell well, I'm sure there'd be a market for alco-pops using it. Some of those teenagers will drink anything, you know...
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Last one for now...
Albert Einstein died and went to heaven. St. Peter said: "Youc ertainly look like Einstein, but you have no idea the lengths some people will got to in order to sneak into heaven. Can you prove who you really are?"
Einstein thought for a second and asked: "Could I have a blackboard and some chalk?"
St. Peter had them fetched and Einstein proceeded to outline his theory of relativity.
St. Peter was suitably impressed: "You really are Einstein. Welcome to heaven!"
Next to arrive was Pablo Picasso. Once again, St. Peter wanted to check his credentials.
Picasso asked: "Mind if I use that blackboard and chalk?"
St. Peter said: "Be my guest."
Picasso erased Einstein's equations and sketched a brilliant drawing in a matter of minutes.
St. Peter applauded. "You really must be the great artist you claim to be. Come on in!"
Then St. Peter looked up and saw George W. Bush.
"I'm the former president of the United States and I demand entry!" said Bush.
"Sorry," said St. Peter. "You'll have to prove it to me first. Einstein and Picasso both had to prove their identity."
Bush looked puzzled. "Who are Einstein and Picasso?"
St. Peter sighed. "Come on in, George."
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mittfh and SSC - thank you, thank you, thank you!!
That laugh was just what I needed to get me down off my high horse (on another thread)!
Sticky buns all round - but you have to eat them without licking your lips ;o)
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mittfh 15, How do you fold a child?
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DM 22, Take the right hand and bring it to the left foot. Then take the right foot and fold it to the right hand. That way you don't get creases in it.
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A pedant writes:
As peanuts are legumes rather than nuts, a warning that a packet of peanuts contains nuts may be very useful (if true).
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Sid, you really need to get out more!
here have a double sugary rasp' jam doughnut.
(stands back and wait for sugar hit to kick in)
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Does anyone have a Phillips screwdriver (XL) that I can borrow? This thing keeps falling off.
Gladys
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Gladys, it begs the question, wot thing?
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BTW, did you really mean Phillips?
these days most 'screws' are Pozidrive!
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or did you mean has anyone got Phillip's screwdriver?. in which case I wasn't aware that Liz's hubby was into DiY!
also I can get me 'ands on an XL one if pressed!
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tah dah....
(whips out a whopper)
now then, now then, how's this for an XL?
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Gladys: What "thing" - we're dying to know (and no doubt imagining a variety of 'interesting' "things" it could be...)
Meanwhile:
A vicar walked into a barber's shop and after getting a haircut, he asked how much it would be. The barber said: "No charge. I consider it a service to the Lord." The next morning the barber came to work and there were twelve Bibles and a thank you note from the vicar on the front door.
Later that day, a police officer walked into the barber's shop and got his hair cut. He asked how much it would be, and the barber replied: "No charge. I consider it a service to the community." The next morning the barber came to work and there were a dozen doughnuts and a thank you note from the police officer on the front door.
Later that day, a politician walked into the barber's shop and got his hair cut. He asked how much it would be, and the barber replied: "No charge. I consider it a service to the country." The next morning the barber came to work and there were twelve politicians on the doorstep.
And of course:
What do you call 6,000 politicians at the bottom of a lake?
A good start!
-oOo-
I won't tell any more today, but I'll leave a copy of "The Bumper Book of Jokes" on the bar for others to scan through, and a twist-resistant hammock between two of the palms (don't want you falling off whilst laughing!)
Food-wise, I'm leaving a pack of ginger nuts, a pack of shortcake biscuits, and a home-made strawberry cheesecake (a hybrid of two different recipes).
Drinks-wise, I'll leave the obligatory bottle of Pimm's.
And I've put a few cube trays of water in the freezer to solidify.
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DIW;
Careful how you flash your tool around. The ladies will faint with sheer delight at the size of it and the dextrous way that you handle it. I observe that it needs two hands to control effectively.
(There follows a burger chain reference, for the uninitiated) Bless my soul. Is that an XL Double Whopper with cheese?
WR.
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mittfh, my aching can't take anymore!
oh......go on then!
WR, i am ALWAYS careful as to how i flash me tool. ladies are such delicate things and needless exposure will induce the faints. hence, i always carry a very large bottle of my own Patent Smelling Salts.
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As I sip my straight - but extremely cheap brandy - remember those "brandy flavourings" for cakes? - you get the picture of THIS brandies quality - I peruse my newspaper's headline.
What a Liberty! its says and refers to an alleged insult to Libertys human rights campaigner Ms Shami Chakrabarti. By a Cabinet Minister via a magazine article. Not beach reading I decide. Blairite magazine is mentioned front and centre.
Just a silly mistake by said Minister I suspect but surely the wrong targets - Ms Chakrabarti's intellect I suspect would make both Two Brains Willetts and six brains Sarkozy look backward in my opinion and I wouldn't insult her if I could help it.
Targets? Because David Davis, former MP is also mentioned in the same piece. Oops a daisy!
Wave after liberated wave splashing on the private beach and the Canutes of this world get their feet wet despite instructions for said surf(ers) to retreat. Hold back this sea? That is going to happen.
No, Ms Chakrabarti - I would advice you to leave lawyers out of it.
Forgive the Minister and make him feel even worse for any insult perhaps made by the article.
Yes, forgiveness is the way go and the up side (selfish I know) is that no legal eagles get more feathers for their nests either.
You know - after a couple of glasses this brandy isn't at all - zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
lol
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steelpulse, i think you may find that Ms Shami Chakrabarti's intellect outshines anyone in the cabinet, shadow or otherwise!
fingers crossed, perhaps one day she will stand for election as an MP.
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Gossipmistress (5) publishing in full would take more space than there is here. The much shortened version goes as follows. My mother's great grandmother Charlotte was brought up by relations in a version of the Mansfield Park plot. Her mother had eloped with the groom, married just before the birth of her first son, and had cousins who were among the founders of Barclays Bank. Generous family loyalties and a dear man who was childless, lived to old age, left numerous bequests to named relations, and made it into the 1851 census which gives his birthplace as Jamaica provided many of the clues. So when Charlotte left us an intriguing mystery going back to the seventeenth century, and current research verifies her brief tale back to the early eighteenth, we are hot on the trail of a tale I will share if I can ever prove it!
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mittfy - thank you! If you have read the 'miserable' thread, you'll see that i really needed a good laugh - but if you haven't read it, don't bother just read your instructions again, they are much better.
TOD
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hahahahahahaha!!!
time to unwind a little, methinks, after such a week...
Is that the sound of a corkscrew being fetched?!!!
n-n
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Mittfh (31):
Ah, the Bumper Book of Jokes. Written by the now largely forgotten prolific writer, Lord Algernon Bumper of East Cheam.
He was also the first person to suggest putting a bit of metal on the front of a car to absorb impacts without wrecking the bodywork proper - an idea now sadly lost. Happily, many examples of this device were captured for posterity in the Bumper Book of Bumpers, and the follow-up specialising in larger examples to be found on dodgem cars - the Bumper Book of Bumper Bumper Bumpers.
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All right you lot. Back to work. Stop all this hilarity you a supposed to be miserable... Ooo...er.. someone has left a XL Double Whopper with cheese....I'll just take a bite.....
Oops, sorry DIY, I didn't know it was yours. Perhaps you could have this bit sewn on again.
At the risk of being considered a relic of a former age, would it be in order to assign epithet "Thinking man's crumpet" to Miss Chakrabarti or would that be innapropriate in this day and age.
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I have just fled from Royal Ascot on the TV. Someone called James - smoozing someone famous. Oh you are my outfit of the week! Barf! Famous. Smoozing? No change there then - allegedly.
"Thinking Mans crumpet" - Joan Bakewell just been made a Dame I note. Wasn't she cursed with that soubriquet too? Julia Bradbury, Fiona Bruce also seen.
Crumpet? As if beautiful women cannot think. The most intelligent people I know are female. They wouldn't knowingly drink my type of brandy. They would buy it though, for their dense spouses. Look after the pennies and and the intoxicated heads will be pounding themselves. I need to lie down.
Beached. Wail!
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Soubriquet. That was the word I was looking for.
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I see June is bustin' out all over.
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RJM 23, I should have referred to one of my origami books: mountain fold, valley fold, reverse fold, etc. I wonder if I could make a water bomb out of a child.
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it's friday and sun is over yon yardarm......G and T's all round....
.....clink clink, chink chink, cheers.....
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SP (41) "brached wail" is that when you shout by the sea-side?
Now, Ms Bakewell, hmmmm maybe you would like to have a little word with yourself in a dark room.
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What ho!
What do you call six politicians up to their necks in cement?
Insufficient cement.
;o) []
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JP 43, As the song said, "June is bustin' out all over, because she forgot her brassiere."
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DIW 45, Plymouth Gin, like real sailors drink?
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Ohhh, at last, Friday evening.
And a blast of the PM theme tune!!!!!!!!!
Now I've stopped feeling knacked and instead I'm all happy. I did post on the miserable buugres [sic] frog about this - apparently this is the happiest day of the year.
RIGHT! (sorry to shout) (but how else to draw attention)
I fancy a party.
Just getting a driftwood fire going. Anyone going out fishing? A barbie might be fun.
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Always preferred the brand featuring the former name of Mumbai and a certain typically blue coloured precious gemstone myself.
Still, it's free. Had an arguement with the top of the glass DIY?
;o) []
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wonko, no, and as long it says Gin somewhere on the bottle i int too fussed!
now, where is my dear old friend Gordon gone?
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I've got some tomatoes which actually taste of tomato. Slice, slice, slice...
Snip some chives from the pot by the door and stir. Now;
well, there's vestal virgin olive oil and some vinegary smiles on the bar, plus local sea salt and foreign pepper for those who indulge.
So... what else can we have? Tables by the NCMB are ready to groan...
(and who could blame them?)
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if anyone is interested i have just rustled up Spag Bol for me and son #3, there is loads leftover (as always), so will add the pot to the growing collection of nibbles at NC's. Now, where has that sherry trifle gone?
(sorry Feefs it contains meat)
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in the Spag Bol, not the trifle!
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Why so sorry, DIY?
As long as you don't stir it with that monstrous implement of yours, I will happily partake of a mighty dollop.
(holds out bowl)
Where's Frances O? I O her a large glass of something yummy from the bar...
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Feefs.....
(ladles out a big dollop!)
Francis_O went to listen to the Archers.
(tum te tum, te tum te tum..... Ohhhhhhhh Noooooooo, David, Pips gone and done a whoopsy)
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I have just trawled through all today's threads and can't find Gillianianianianian's rant anywhere.
Gissacloooooo?
Mmmm, nice dolloping DIY!
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Feefs - that's because I sat on it for a couple of days, incubating it!!
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Ahem!
DI. It's FrancEs_O, and I'm only underlined cos of the twittish re-registrationship stuff we had to go through.
Not that you, speedo king, have anything to do with underlining.
Er -
but to change the subject swiftly, since most of us seem a bit knacked this evening, how about
A day-long party at Nick's?
I promise late afternoon goodies, now who's going to do breakfast, and will the weather be good enough for evening cavorting?
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An Feefs, yiz'l ge's a dram, hen, eh?
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Am I in the wrong time zone? I am up for games NOW!
Shall we start with a round of Hunt the Screwdriver to get us warmed up?
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Hiya all,
Hunt the Screwdriver? The XL one? Didn't DI last have it in his hand? Or was that a vodka and orange in a tall glass?
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So it was you lot who "borrowed" my screwdriver, which I've been hunting for all afternoon and evening!!!! Grrrrrr!
Finding myself now triple booked for one Sat even in July, just wondering if it turns out to be Quadruple booked...
Anyway, here's a prawn for the Barbie, and the Mumbai Gin on the NC bar...
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Diy's got the screwdriver. And this link should get you to the gin bar
http://www.flickr.com/photos/21021308@N04/
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Too slow... I am off to bed now :o(
But maybe tomorrow?
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morning peeps, oh and an apology to FrancEs_O!
how you doin' Franny?, fancy a big saturday morning one? fridge full of fryable things so i'll just whip out the frying pan, rustle up some breakfast and prepare to depart for Spalding.
of course there will be plenty for all, i'll leave it warming in hostess trolley at NC's, sorry fresh out of OJ, got some cranberry if anyone wants to try it.
personally i am not struck on it, i need the acidic hit of really chilled OJ first thing in the morning!
anyhoo, onwards and upwards..
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Fifi, Where did you hide the screwdriver?. I could do with it as the towel rail fell to bits this morning.
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A very quick wave from SO's PC
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Well, it isn't the PC that's waving, it's Big Sis. Can't stand laptop keyboards, so any postings are v. v. brief.
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Coo-ee Big Sis!! Got time for a quick dip?
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Is Hunt the Screwdriver like Ivar the Boneless or Charles the Bald? Thor's Hammer? Jimmy Nail?
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Steelpulse and DIYman - you may be interested to know that 'Shami Chakrabarti beat off stiff competition to be voted Channel 4's most politically inspiring figure of the year in 2006.' Says so in the Indie.
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Anne P - how exciting! I did a bit on our family tree last year and it was great - I was so chuffed every time we found a 'lead'! Keep us up with your finding?
Annasee - yes, correct, though I fear the performance may be less than exciting! Actually I did wonder at the rehearsal last night when they said they'd hired a harpist, whether it was you, but hadn't had time to ask.
ANyone want to go on a hen night instead of me tonight? (I'm not the hen)
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"how you doin' Franny?, fancy a big saturday morning one? "
Well! Mr Wyman! Unfortunately it's now the afternoon.
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I'm not sure where I put the screwdriver now. I do remember there was a chipolata next to it...
While I'm scratching my head, I have here the makings for something I'm reliably informed is called Needfire.
Seemingly it's a Solstice tipple, but the ingredients (quantities of rum and brandy, some water and oranges, plus sugar) suggest it's just the ticket at ANY time of year when wheels are falling off cars, throttle cables are falling off bikes, and the economy's in meltdown.
Longest day? Hmm. It is raining and there's 4 channels of sport or a western on TV. Think I'll make several quantities of Needfire and fill this small swimming pool with it!
Last one in's a hairy kipper!
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Yes longest day and the beginning of Summer - or so google is reliably informing us.
I just watched a nice frama on ITV 4 (I think) The Blackheath poisoner - but It's only the first part - no info about when the next episode in on.
Anyone lost a screwdriver - just seen one near the cocktail cabinet.
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Just to be clear ... I scratched my head, washed and dried my hands, and only THEN made the drink!
Jonnie, there isn't a sausage over by the cocktail cabinet as well, is there?
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FrancEs_O, oi say better late than never!
Sid, as the Indie reader, can you get me an intro?
SM, next week try it off the top of the wardrobe, towel rails are for novices!
Feefs, there are sausages everywhere! wot on earth have you been doing?
if this is your idea of the Hunt mit Sausage game then you really need to rethink the hiding the sausage bit.
from here i can see two on the naughty step, one on the cocktail cabinet, a whole string at smokers corner and a partially nibbled one in the purple hammock!
BTW, found the screwdriver!
young Sid had used it to fix down the lid of his patent sprout boiling machine (actually just a REALLY big saucepan, but don't let on we know) and he had left it on NC's bar but it had fallen off into that big pot of Spag Bol we had last night and i found when doing the washing up. anyhoo, no harm done.
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Feefs, you could have warned me about the strength of your 'swimming pool' mixture, me Speedos have changed colour!
BTW, RL job got cancelled when I got there, so have spent the whole day going to and come back from Spalding, shame really was quite looking forwards to it, as it is one part of england i is least familiar with.
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Blimey, DI, calm down, what with your insinuations
and the sausage bit
which , sadly, didn't work; some frogger told the camels and all sossidjes have been munched.
I'm cooking up some basmati rice, though. To go with some fabby beans in gorgeous tom sauce.
Veggy and meaty additions welcome; and since this is a beach meal, come all!
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Did you know that in RL the day the North Pole is nearest the Sun is called the 'summer solstice'
or as in todays case, boys and girls, the day in the middle of the year when it actually feels like you are at the freekin North Pole!
thank goodnes for this sub tropical beach i say!
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Thanks Frances_O - yum! Here's a bottle of Cotes de Rhone to go with it ;o)
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Oh I've checked Fifi.
I thought it was something a dog had left.
Looks more like a chipolata?
I'll leave it and retreive the screwdriver.
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Frances_O, count me in!
im always up for gorgeous tom, saucy or otherwise, and flabby beans oooohhhh you just know how to tease.
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i've just been all the way to Cransley and i fink it's broke.....
......can anyone in the "know" go and have a visit to check?
or, jonnie, is all as it should be me old dear?
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DIWy (86) It looks good to me ;o)
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what a cracking day-long party!!!!
a MASSIVE "for she's a jolly good fellow!" to Frances O for suggesting such a solstice jolly jaunt, and also for cooking up some basmati rice, with some fabby beans in gorgeous tom sauce!!!
[I did dip a sausage in mine, but only cos DIY suggested it....!!!]
and I may also have been at the Dreadnought sized vat of something called Needfire, which I am reliably informed will count towards my 'five a day' as it is mostly oranges and water....with a hint of rum and suchlike!
Conga dancing seems to have taken off again, as does the game 'where did fifi hide her tool?'
It wont be long before I start bumping into coconut trees and apologising, so (woops, was that your glass?)
(Here, let me refill...)
Right, as I was saying, (gosh, yes, I did rather fill that too full, didnt I?)
erm, did anyone mention swimming?!
n-n
xx
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da da da da Da Da
¬¬¬¬
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Right!!!
they've gone tooo far now.....
NO CONGA SYMBOLS?!! I mean, what???!!
Am going to swim out to the platform and plan a protest rally!!
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Does anyone know who I am or why I'm here?
(hic!)
[giggles]
[burps]
....and now to sleep......
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Gossipmistress - they've hired not just one, but TWO! The extravagance! And I am number 2. Actually I'm a bit on my dignity about that... (professional pride and all that and she's 10 years my junior. .)but hey - the cheque's the same. Guess I'll just have to get over it!
Did you hear Charlotte Green read the final item in the News Quiz today? It was of relevance to planets,and very funny. Don't know how she managed it.
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I crossed my fingers, waved a magic wand and - voila! - here I am, back in Blog World on my very own PC. I feel as if I've just had a Dorothy moment (no jokes perleeese, Jonnie!) by clicking my ruby slippers and saying: There's no place like PM, there's no place like PM ....
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Smile!
xx
ed
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Oh... I feel a bit responsible for all the debris...
The conga (!) eels have all slipped into that pool DI has been soaking his speedos in, so I warn you not to go skinny-dipping there.
But there's so much left over.
We could start the party again on Sunday.
All tasty goodies in Nick's fridge.
But I need a bit of help with the washing up.
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morning froggers.
hi Ed I, here's that cup of coffee I promised on the other thread.
(cup of coffe with Ed I's name on it)
wot time does the party kick off today?
in the mean time chilled OJ and toast, with, yes you guessed it, lemon marmalade.....enjoy
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oh, i forgot to say, Gillianianianian 87, i tried it just now and it was fine. all i got last was buffering, i had never been buffered so much in all my days, in fact i positively glowing in the dark.
my guess the www was stuck in treacle somewhere between here and civilisation as we know it.
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Um, I lost contact with the Blog world again this morning. Done another restore, and am now convinced that the problems have been caused by a recent Windows automatic update.
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Morning all. Whilst chippolata hiding is probably allowed, whoever wanted to go sausage munching should get back on that naughty step.
There's an empty vat of rum/brandy smelling orange stuff over there. For those that need it I have my catering sized expresso pot on the stove.
Looks like a nice But windy morning up here in west yorks. Anyone fancy kite flying?
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DIW 79, I've been reading The Indy since it started.
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DIW 79, PS But not the same issue.
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Mornin' Froggers! Welcome back Ed I - it's good to see you kicking off your shoes and having for a paddle ;o)
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Ed I, there are two sorts of fish that appear to smile: sharks and pirahna, and I can't even spell them reliably.
Which do you want?
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We will now that you have returned Ed (94), but why so blue?
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LOL.......DM, 100, that's two then, you and Sid should get together and form a club or sumfink.
yeah Appy, how did he do that?
Ed I, go on spill the beanz!
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EEEEEEEEDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!
[Youre here!!! smiles right back at you!!! Good link, what a lovely photo!!!]
oooo my head....
u-u
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Frances O - there's few that could keep up with you, lass!!!
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anyhoo, doing my bit for energy conservation i today bought a wind up torch from woolies, no batteries, no recharging of ni-cad's or ni-mh's etc, just pure and simple mechanical effort.....
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.....it didn't work, not a glimmer, not even a hint of even 1 tiny itsy bitsy lumen.......
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thinking it's a duff one i took it back. at customer returns the young lady looked at the receipt, then me, then the torch and then back to the receipt.
thinking that in some minor way i had transgressed their v v v v stringent returns policy, i feared the worst and would be refused a refund or replacement.
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not so, the nice young lady took the torch from its original wrapping and promptly yelled...
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CALL YOURSELF A TORCH, I HAVE SEEN MORE LIGHT COMING FROM MY BOYFIEND LIGHTING HIS FA*TS AS A PARTY TRICK.
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.and lo, their was light and one could see for miles.
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..
smiling the young lady recomposed her self and said, "You just have to know how to wind them up sir"
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I fank u
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Thanks for the coffee, DI! I needed that.
I should go away more often, judging by the welcome.
Appy, Blue is one of the colours of the rainbow, as well as the colour of links and
Enjoy the spilt beans!
ed
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Aha! The well known Disney Character Happy Obama!
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Stop it DIY 108. I fell of my chair.
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Or should I say I'm trying! ?
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I meant
Gollom!Long, boring version
;-)
ed
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LOL.......sorry RJM 111, just doing my bit to counter the "Why is everyone so bloody miserable?" bit, cos today i aint!
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Ed I, thanks, lovely beanz
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Appy,,
Try Harder!
Awwww!
xx
ed
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The beach is where you eat food you brought from home that no matter how careful you are gets sand in it. Where you get sunburned only you don't know it for hours. Where you fight to find a spot between a million other people with the same idea at the same time to put down a lousy towel so you have a place to sit. It's where you watch the kids splashing in the water half scared they'll drown, half hoping they do. It's where you build the only castle you'll ever own out of sand only to have some nasty kid come kick it down just as you're finishing it and you get sand kicked in your face and eyes to boot. And when it's all over, you go back to the car which by that time is so hot you can't sit on the seat or touch the steering wheel for twenty minutes. Then you fight the bumper to bumper traffic to get home only to find you've brought half the beach back with you in your clothes and your skin so you shower off to get rid of it all and cool down from the ride. Gee the beach is fun, I wonder why we don't go more often.
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MarcusAureliusII, not this beach then!
here everything is just tickety boo
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you mean there's more than one Marcus Aurelius?
gawd help us!!!! How to enjoy yourself - cont pg 98
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Ed I, 116, ye gods!
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DI_Wyman
I must have gotten Brighton mixed up with the Sahara Desert. I knew that third turn off the roundabout was a mistake. Something didn't seem right.
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n-n (90) Do not protest - adapt:
da da da da DA DA
lTTTl
H.
(Did you see what I did then? I just hope it does not fall foul of the mods as a non-English word).
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OY! Who threw that pheasant at me? Oh, it seems birds of all sorts are just tumbling out of the sky. Now why would that be?
|TTT|
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Anna (92) : I was listening just then, and I too was expecting the explosion of giggles... but then I THINK it was Harriet Cass, not Seagreen.
So, all is right with the world after all.
;o)
Now then Ed I... where have you been all this time? Gosh we've been missing you!
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I wonder if this will work
知 者 不 言。 言 者 不 知。
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Is that a bar code, Ed?
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* tap tap *
Hullo?
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so what's on offer at the bar tonight. shall i break out the marshmallows for toasting?
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If you're brave enough, Red, there's a tipple called Needfire on the go. Mostly rum, brandy, sugar and oranges... and it comes with the Witchiwoman seal of approval!
I've been swimming in it all afternoon and by jiminy it's yummmm!
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Oh Ed, poor woman, she's trying to smile, but, oh dear...
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...glug glug
preparing for a new week at work. and a busy one to boot as i have to book a trip i'm taking in 2 weeks. which would be much less complex if only i could actually book it myself. but we have the wonders of HR to help us. which shall be fun.
glug glug...
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I'm back. I think. But I don't know where. Help.
HELLO.
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BillnBenIthink:
I think you're Bill and Ben. And I think you're back on the Beach.
HELLOOoooo ...... just catch hold of this lifebelt.
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Shiny Marcus: If you don't like sand in your sandwiches, then Brighton is definitely the place for you! Meanwhile, on another Beach much closer to home, I am building a sandcastle in the shape of a camel. This clever plan of mine will, I hope, divert the other camels from trying to nibble at my sandwiches.
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Big Sis,
Thanks, are they the ones around the camel lifeguards necks. Oooh complete with Speedos.
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Strewth!
First Ed I reappears and now Bill'n'Ben!
If Aunt Dahlia comes back, then I'll believe it's Christmas!
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Well here I was feeling all at home, and now the staff are chasing me to take my medication. I'm off, I'll see you all tomorrow.
Cheers
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Ed I, why didn't any of us think of html.
Lets try it
bold
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what about wow,
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Fifi,
It was chinese characters linking to my favourite Lao Tzu. They showed up, but then promptly went weird. ;-((
Appy, I've searched high and low for a smile from her, but most give the impression of suppressed digestive discomfort....too long in front of too many cameras - nothing genuine remains - just fish stories.
On the other hand Edwards and Obama have smiles which can light up a room, and still seem genuine (for how long?)
And then, there's this {;-(
xx
ed
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Hi BillnBenIthink! have a Liffey on me.
Slainte!
ed
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Rogues Gallery?
Genuine
Yuk!
double-yukkk
????
The spoiler?
She's allright!
xx
ed
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Stewart: A lot of us have been playing with html since the Blog 'morphed' .... You've not been paying attention!
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A pint of whatever the young lady's having for a super strapline, please barman.
Morning all. Hi Ed! And thanks DIY for that joke(?).
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drat missed elevenses!
Sid, no problem, did you know you are only one typo error from (Big) Sis!
welcome back to BillnBen if it is the same!
it's all coming together again, we will have to have a beach reunion party sometime, just think of the fun we could have swapping stories of wot it woz like in the olden days!
anyhoo back to RL and gazing out of the office window.
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SM 138
r u sure u didn't mean bald?
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oh, 146 was mine!
and if 147 goes as well then I know what causes it!
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What ho!
Lunchtime folks! There are flat breads in the warming basket. Sizzling onions, sweet peppers, chilli peppers, chicken and pork on skillets (careful - they're hot!) Salsa, sweetcorn relish, sour cream and guacamole on the side with a selection of sauces - some hotter than others - to add as you desire. Fresh green salad in the big bowl for those who like rabbit food.
Dig in.
Uxbridge English Dictionary definition - Porcupine: a deperate longing for ham.
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wot ho Wonko, thanks for lunch!
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purely for research and cos RL is really quiet at the mo..
Uxbridge English Dictionary definition - Porcupine: a deperate longing for ,a href"http://www.dukeshillham.co.uk/">ham.
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whoops, nearly!
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Big sis, Yes I've not been paying attention. But some of the html I tried did not work. Better still I've been modded on the independant thread. I think the offending sentence implied the mental capacity of a certain pm presenter was impaired.
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SM, tut tut! if it's any consolation I made a whoopsy as well, see above.
just like being back at school, J0nes works reasonably well BUT could do better.
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Another entry in the Uxbridge Dictionary:
Pandemonium: A Black and White musical instrument that won't breed in captivity.
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my turn, my turn..
Aromatic A handy gadget used by
Robin Hood
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Euphonium : have you phoned him yet?
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Squiggle: Badly drawn squirrel.
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Conundrum: a felon hiding in the percussion section?
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don't for get to set your alarms to listen to R4 at 6.60 tonight!
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Crossword: bugger?
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Python: Charitable 'phone-in to aid needy Bakers.
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Concurrent: Something that looks like a raisin, but isn't
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How lovely to see BillnBen back on the Beach, as well as Ed I back on form. And Wonko's been cooking again... this week's starting to look up!
Big Sister, I think your camel-shaped sandcastle is rather too convincing. Don't look, but suffice to say there's more than one definition of 'hump' and the naughty step is going to need extending again...
;o)
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impose: stockings for naughty little things.
mobile: what I reserve for Maurice on Cransley ( a bit of an in-joke that one!)
epiphany: . . . .Oh, I’m so tempted - but the mods would get me!
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And my all-time favourite bears repeating
varifocal:: urgent instruction to keep things as they are.
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Pillow: medication shaped like a well known mint.
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6.60 DIY? That's 7 o'clock in this house ...
" ... but we've just got time for a round of Bloggers' Film Club."
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"Bring me the thread of Alfredo Garcia"
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Frigate: A ship no-one cares about.
As for films, The Blog Identity (for all those with frogger names)
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"Postbusters"
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Would you please welcome Mister and Mrs Wattie-Stonking-Camel and their son...
...Gordon Bennett Wattie-Stonking-Camel!
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"The Blogs of War"
"Resevoir Blogs"
"The Flight of the Netscape Navigator"
"To Hack and To Hack Not"
"The Postman Always Bloggs Twice"
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"For a few dollars - Mair"
H.
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"Live and let blog"
"For your blog only"
"Blog another day"
"On Her Majesty's Secret blog"
"You only blog twice"
"The spy who blogged me"
n-n
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"Nils Blythe and the Temple of Doom"
H.
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"The Beach"
"Routers of the Lost Ark"
"Who's Afraid of Caroline Quinn?"
"The Mair Witch Project"
"The Blogfather"
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"There will be Blood(y Hell! - Ed I's Back!)"
"Blog Day Afternoon"
"Stainless Steel Cat on a Hot Tin Roof"
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Morning All!
First in today? Oh well, I've put the coffee pot on (Kenyan AA today I think), and the kettle's on for tea. I'm doing scrambled eggs with poached salmon in a butter and mustard and dill sauce on lightly toasted wholegrain muffins if anyone wants one.
Suppose I ought to do some work then!
;o) []
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Can I join in?
''Blog in the afternoon''
''The witches of Blog''
''Calamity Blog"
''Love me or Bolg me"
Anyway, now, can anyone suggest how I can speed up matters on my little lap- top? It takes ages to link up to broadband- 10 minutes sometime.
Any help and advice gratefully received!
Mollyxx
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Some quick suggestions for you Molly - assuming it is running some form of the Windoze operating system (other computer operating systems are available):
- Perform a disk defragmentation: Start > Programs > Accessories > Disk Defrag
- Clear out your Temporary Internet Files folder and Cache in your web browser
- Remove and re-install the software you use to connect to t'Internet
- Check on-line (when you can get on!) for the latest versions of the drivers for your modem/router.
HTH ;o) []
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morning peeps, it's nothing but decisions, decisions, decisions! What
shall we have for elevenses?
I can't choose between doughnuts or bagels or just a cup of tea and a biscuit!
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Molly, is it wireless or wired?
are you at home, at work, or using an openzone (or similar)?
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If any listners are fed up with those endless trails that keep appearing on the wireless, why not wipe them off with a damp cloth and put down slug pellets to stop the little blighters coming back.
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Could be excessive local broadband traffic. Could be slower wifi on laptop.
Switch everything off inlcuding router and re start.
If using wireless and router has a wired connection try using the wire.
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Wonko-(181)
''Thanks for that'''-to coin a phrase..
I'm going to have a go, step by step.
DIY (183)
I'm Wireless, at home, doing work- hum!
(can I have a bagel and a doughnut with my tea? Possibly a biscuit or two?)
Mollyxx
ps What is openzone?
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... and if you hear this sound: [phnarpp] - it means they've discovered my escape tunnel.
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What a nice day to sit around avoiding work...
Let me rephrase that - sit around waiting for engineers from NThell to repair the county's notwork so I can access my filestore and start being productive again...
Meanwhile, I've already had a nice chocolate muffin courtesy of a Macmillan fundraising effort. They've raised nearly £140 - and building 2 got missed out as they sold out!
And after listening to "Don't Download This Song" on my mp3 player on the way in, I can't get it out of my head - and yes, I couldn't help but think of Eddie's thread as I sang along...
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Molly - you're welcome, there's sage advice from others here too. If all else fails, hire a 12 year old, they should have it sorted in a jiffy!
;o) []
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FredF (184) : HAHAHAHAAAA!
* wanders off wearing a mysterious smile *
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molly 186
openzone? I was thinking of this!
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Thank you all somuch- I am really going to sort this out today- it's driving me mad!
fresh lemonade and drizzle cake?
surely time for a break.
Mollyxx
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molly, on your pc go to start, then run, then type cmd, press enter. in the black window type ipconfig.
make a note of the ip address of the default gateway (like 192.168.01.)
then in the black window type ping then the ip address (i.e ping 192.168.0.1 )and then press enter, make a note of the results. wot you are looking for is:-
Minimum =
Maximum =
Average =
wot are they?
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Feefs, 190
* wanders off wearing a mysterious smile *
wot, just like this?
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DIY (194) : Oooh, how clever!
No, 'my' mysterious smile is more of a huge toothy grin.
Red roses 'from a froggy friend' tend to have that effect on me.
* increase Smile Rating to 'radiant' *
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Wonko, sorry I missed the offer of breakfast, sounded lovely - been dashing around in RL taking husband to train, cutting son's grass, dumping cuttings around the beans on the allotment.
Now back to ponder the wonders of lovely froggers and the almost equally wonderful power of Giggle. Via the latter I found a reference to one of the missing ancestors in a 1922 journal that it would have taken me a lifetime to find let alone search - all done in the blink of an eye via the wonders of digitisation and indexing.
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oohhh eeerrrrr, Mysterious Madam FiFi glows all over the East Midlands!
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Anne P, ..........if you're not too busy can you nip over to mine, get the washing in (please fold neatly), feed the cats (one forkfull each), cut the front lawn (put clippings in the brown recycle bin) and do the veggies for tea (not the Sprouts, they're Sid's) ok?
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DIY - certainly, but if and only if you will in return pack and label up three outsize artworks made by number 4 offspring reeady for the courier, and find my missing eighteenth century ancestor.
PS will broad beans from the garden be OK?
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Molly,
this isnt probably what you are after; nevertheless, if you nip out to a laptop shop, and see if you can buy one that goes faster, that'd work...
x
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DIY-
Default gettaway? Where?(sob!)
n-n-
i shall complain!
mollyxx
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No problem Anne, I can knock up an omelette later from the left over eggs!
;o)
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molly, now calm down!
it's gateway, not gettaway you silly molly...
do you want me to run through it again?
knock once for yes, twice for no, thrice for can't be ars$d.
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Anne P, broad beans mmmmmmmmmmm please.
re..... missing eighteenth century ancestor, if they have been gone that long you may find they have "shuffled off the old mortal coil". Sorry to be blunt, but I do think a dose of reality works wonders.
re....pack and label up three outsize artworks made by number 4 offspring ready for the courier, now you are really stretching the bounds of reality aren't you!
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tonight Mrs Diy and me go out for dinner with son #3. This to have one last night out together before he departs for Australia, wotz the betting it will all end in tears?
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he never has any money and Mrs Diy will have to pay the bill!
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DIY
sniff! sniff! Knock!
O.K.- gateway,then- have I got one? If so, where?
I've typed in thingy wot you said in the window- but cant see gatway thingy...
Bet you wished you'd kept mum today.
Sorry to be so obtuse. ..
Mollyxx
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I'm just going to take this mug of green tea and claim the purple hammock for a rest. Can someone wake me when it's time for Sequin?
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Fifi-
Gosh! How lovely for you!
So happy for you!
Of course I'm not envious- much too busy today...
red, you say?
Mollyxx
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Molly..
Part One
1. left click on "Start"
2. left click on "run"
3. in the "Run" window type cmd into field that says open
4. left click on "open"
5. in the nasty black box type ipconfig and press enter on the kbd.
what is the big string of numbers after where it says Default Gateway?
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I am feeling very benign today.
Could be the Ukulele Orchestra of Great Britain on R4 today... could be the roses... could be the huge number of red-tailed bumble bees munching the clover surrounding the Summer Branch Office...
Whatever it is, I am going to take a running jump at the purple hammock -- and just hope to goodness nobody else has had the same idea!
WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!......
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Careful, Feef! You almost spilt my tea! Yes, there's room in here for you, just try not to elbow me in the ribs :-)
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Blimey Fearless... the way you handled that cup and saucer while the hammock did the full 360 degrees... is that something they teach you in the Cubs, or what???
Now if you don't mind, I need a little nap myself. So, I'll just put on Listen Again... and this morning's ... oh where is it? ah... Reith Lect ... zzz.....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...
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wots all that buzzing coming from the Purple Hammock?
*peers in, gasps in astonishment and heads off to the naughty step*
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Molly,
continuing DIY's post:
ipconfig should spit out several lines of information:
Windows XP IP Configuration
Ethernet adapter Local Area Connection:
Connection-specific DNS Suffix .:
IP Address. . . . . . . . . . :
Subnet Mask . . . . . . . . . . . :
Default Gateway . . . . . . . . . :
Each of the last three should be four numbers, separated by dots, e.g. 192.168.0.1
Then try typing ping, followed by a space, then the default gateway (e.g. ping 192.168.0.1).
At the very bottom of what that command spits out, you should get a line that says "Approximate round trip times in milli-seconds:", followed by a line giving the minimum, maximum and average times. Let us know what those are.
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DIY playing with ping mine are
min 3ms
max 10ms
avg 5 ms
But I'm not having problems at the moment.
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ooh, i see the PFY has awoken from slumber!
i'll just get me cattle prod, won't be a mo.
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ZZZZZTTTTCH!
Owwwww! What the blue blazes was THAT????
Felt exactly like being prodded in the unmentionables by a cattle prod!
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DIY, That's rather a cruel thing to do....
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Well, you'll be relieved to hear I will NOT be asking for volunteers to see if there's a mark.......!
If I find out who is responsible for that, I'll take these roses of mine and.................
(rest of message self-sensored)
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Self sensored? I'll bet your butt it was
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Well, as I'm now awake, what's the plan for this evening? Singsong round the campfire? Sprout-eating competition? Tennis by moonlight?
I'll put the kettle on again while we think about it..
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DIY: Like any self-respecting IT bod, I'm wearing rubber-soled shoes, so am not earthed. Meanwhile, try firing up your UNIX/LINUX box and ftp-ing to 127.0.0.1 - should find a nice selection of software available to download there :)
Rest of the gang: Pimms supplies seem to be running low - I've restocked. There's now another batch of water solidifying in the freezer together with a variety of ice creams / choc ices / ice lollies. Help yourselves!
Meanwhile a colleague has destroyed his BlackBerry (portable email client thingy, not the fruit!) after dropping it into the sink at home. Unfortunately for him, the rumour mill has relocated the incident to the bathroom, and the receptacle to a rather more embarrassing water-containing installation...
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DIY, mittfi-
part 1 complete!!!!!
min=4 max=4 ave=4
Does that sound o.k?
What do I do now?
Mollyxxx ;-))
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(pssst Molly!! I thinks they all gone awaid....)
As you know, I have absolutely NO idea what 4,4,4 means but it *is* consistent!!
I think I'll pour another glass...anyone?
n-n
xx
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Oh yes please nikki noodle - I've had a hectic day. I thought I could unwind, but son's just come in from a cricket match and told me he's lost ANOTHER pair of whites - that's the second pair this month.
ARRRGGGHHH!
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n-n-
Just you, me and Gillianian then. Very exclusive!
I haven't a clue what these figures mean either.
In case DIY or miffth are around, they've changed to
min=4ms
max=24ms
ave=9ms
anyway, enough of that! Gillianian- I know how you feel- my youngest is awful-always losing phones.She's off to Glas.and has just lost another one.
Mr Vodaphone must be rubbing his hands!
Quick, n-n- a nightcap if you don't mind, before I explode......
Mollyxx
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DIY
Big frugs for you all tonight '.
Mollyxx
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Stiffy (234), I don't agree, I think the camels are up to something.
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No I'm passing through also. As its raining Some Islay malt on bar.
Should have been doing accounts stuff for vat man and year end but after getting kids into bed Iv'e wasted my evening on doing very little. And now its bedtime!
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A rather late "evening".
Remember Marcus Brigstock and his on-radio vendetta against a "British company into Telecommuinciations - lets just refer to them by their initials - BT"
Well, Bloody BT have lost the lines to an entire area, including Mother's home, and will not even send an engineer out until 1 July. I've just got back from going there, sorting out Mother's mobile (with its knacked battery pack, it would happen now) etc etc...
Later this morning BT will get a rant at about 8 on the Marcus scale about this. There are huge number of pensioner householders affected by this, by chance...
BT still haven't even admitted one of my lines is faulty either - am highly temped to try this one myself, as I think I know the problem...that says something if one has to DIY phone faults!
Sorry guys, just had to blow my top somewhere. Been a long day, one way or another.
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Interesting,
my faux html tags rant and /rant have not appeared above...
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Hi Molly
They will comment tomorrow.
Those figures really relate to your Internet connection - which is probably okay.
It sounded initially to me, that your computer was whirring away (hard disk) and taking ages to sort itself out?
That wouldn't be a connection problem not normally anyway - with all the whirring and waiting.
I do have a couple of other ideas to chuck in - so don't despair!
I'll wait to see what DIY and Mittfh have to say as to your reports first - as otherwise it gets very confusing.
Don't fret -just be patient and tap it gently now and again - whilst brewing more coffee
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Deepie:-
That's life I'm sorry to say!
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Jonnie (233).
Don't I know it!
Since the battery pack is extinct commercially, will have to make a replacement. And it is (scientifically) mad. But at least I know the answerl albeit supplying it to mother's will be difficult...
DT In their mad scientist role
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jonnie-
Thank you. The little chap seems less sluggish today, so am optomistic ...
I'm so grateful for all this expertise-what a terrific bunch you are.xx
Mollyxx
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DT(231): An experiment
<experiment>
Can I get faux-HTML tags to appear?
<experiment>
</experiment>
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What ho everyone!
Slightly later arrival on the Beach this morning - RL getting in the way, as usual! Still, three days running posting here is pretty good for me.
Nearly expired on the tube this morning. I just had to get out a couple of stops early and walk the rest of the way. If I hadn't there would have been a sad, crumpled Wonko shaped object on the floor of the tube train, going red and unconscious! I hate commutting!
Any coffee around? ;o) []
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Wonko, choice of Blue Mountain or Java on the bar. Enjoy. Hope you've cooled off a bit.
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I am trying to work out whether Appy's responce (228) to Deep's (234) makes sense or not. I think that it quite possibly does. I am also trying to work out why she refers to DT as stiffy. Maybe that is something that I should not spend too much time on.
H.
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Cheers Anne, I'll have both, in two mugs!
Cheers! ;o) []
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Your explosive tendencies last night, Molly, took me aback!! Hope today's a good one!!
humph, Im wondering 'how' she dun it?!
Gillianian, is that a pair of whites out there on the surf? or just a breaker over the reef?!
think we could all do with a pick-me-up...
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I'm feeling anxious about the water. Luckily I live as far north as you can get in Northamptonshire before you stagger into Lincolnshire ... but given that water has a tendency to flow ... should I be expecting a dose of the runs any time soon??
:o(
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It's a bit quiet here today. Can't have that, can we! I know....
Some friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they started a small florist shop to raise funds.
Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down but they refused.
He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him again.
So, the rival florist hired Hugh le Mair, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close.
Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that...
... only Hugh can prevent florist friars.
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"don't drink any more water Fi!!!!"
(Its started already...oh dear, and its gone straight to her head, the wee lass!!)
"Can you stand, Fifi?""
(Lets walk her over to a hammock, will you talk one arm, Sid? Gillian, any suggestions??
How about another brew of that coffee, Anne, and we can get her to sip it slowly...)
"Feefs??!!"
(its no use...she's just babbling...)
;-p
xx
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Why is Sid talking to my left arm?
And why is nikki noodle force-feeding me coffee? Never touch the stuff! Ahem....
Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet.
He also ate very little, which made him rather frail, and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.
This made him . . . . .
a super calloused fragile mystic vexed with halitosis.
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Oh dear n-n, it's a sad case ;o(
Looking on the bright side, thank goodness you made Fi spit out that water - she's only got verbal diarrhoea. ;o)
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Um, how come my comment in response to 234 ended up at 228 and where have the others gone????
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"So, as the short-sighted terrier of Time chases the startled stick insect of Hope, and the supple daschund of Fate is knotted by the absent-minded balloon magician of Eternity, it's time to say goodbye."
ISIHAC
Work commitments for me in RL are about to get extremely busy. Even when I do get the occasional 10 minutes off, my access to the internet will be somewhere between very poor and nil! I am sure that, in my absence, you will all behave . . . some of you well and some of you badly. I hope to return near the end of July.
All the best.
H.
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Have fun Humph -- as far as that is possible. Get in touch re October when you get back!
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Have a great holiday, when you get there, Humph!
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Humph, don't forget about us ;o)
I'm sure you'll have a wonderful time xx
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Phew! Sid, giving Fifi that gob-stopper was an inspired move ;o)
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Humph!
send a postcard, if you get a moment to yourself...!!
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Humph
Happy holiday?
Mollyxx
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Humph-
Of course I mean
Happy Holiday!!
Mollyxx
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Mmmmf?... fmmmmpghmph????
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Night, night! Sweet dreams to one and all.
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Happy holiday, Humph! Do send a postcard, and lots of photos when you get back if the connections won't let you send before.
A.
xx
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Poor Humph - he's working while he's away - he'll need a holiday when he comes back! ;o)
I've left Eccles cakes and builders tea on the NC Bar, for elevenses!
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Oooh, tea and Eccles cakes! Hang on, that looks more like a Chorley cake... still, it's just as delicious! Just what I needed, thanks Gillianianianianianianianian!
Does anyone know why there's a half sucked, slightly fluff and dirt encrusted gob-stopper lying on the sand near the purple hammock?
;o) []
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Gillianian-
Yes please!!!
Eccles cake- two please-one in my pocket for later.
Mollyxx
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This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the House Rules.
morning peeps, day off from RL and www yesterday, took grandchildren out for feeding of ducks, looking at railway trains, walking round Wymondham Abbey (pronounced Wyndham) and then home to make big batch of chocolate rice crispies. and jolly good time was had by all!
anyhoo, just caught the tail end of elevenses, thanks Gillianianianian!
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Bon voyage Humph!
Cor blimey - a beach?
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And it's upside down?
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If it's upside down does that make it a hceab?
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Just taking a break while I wait for an email... anyone want some decaff tea out of the pot I just made?
Oh, and that gobstopper's mine - saving it for later! ;o)
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drat it, RL way tooo busy, missed lunch and t at 3!
give me a shout when sun is over the yardarm please!
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DIY - the sun's over the yard arm! Well, it must be somewhere. ;o)
Pimms O'Clock everyone!
;o) []
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Just read some of my own posts. Think I'll change my name and start again.
That's it! I'll find a Beach where nobody knows I'm really pmLeader and call myself amLeader or pmPMpm or something!
But how? There doesn't seem to be a deed poll (written 'dead', for our north of the border reader) option in my registration. I can change my pin if I've forgotten it but not start a new life. How sad!
Think I'll take to drink and post modern irony (or smart*rseness as it used to be called). But not necessarily in that order.
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thanks Wonko, but i think i will hang on a bit as i have to put up some bathroom tiles when i get back to the homestead!
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That gobstopper's well worth saving, Fifi. Really tasty. Not that I had a go or anything ...
Anyway. Must have a quick word with Mrs Effingham - oh, she's gone. Didn't hang around long, eh?
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oh my, I had a lick of Feefs as well!
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GOBSTOPPER
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Ignoring certain rather presumptuous postings by DIY... ;o)
...and agreeing with pmLeader at 270 ...
..and a plea for advice: how can my friend Kookey register to join our merry gang? Eric's instructions at FAQ mention a 'create your membership here' button - but there isn't one!
HELP!!!!
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Feefs - if they click where it says "Sign in" on the page where you or I would "sign in" there's another button to the left called "Create your membership". That should do the job.
;o) []
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Wonko, you are a prince among froggers. I have passed on that advice, thank you!
If Kookey shows up before SO and I get back from the pub (live music and a bbq ... irresistable!) you will make her welcome won't you??
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Wot - NObody's been on the Beach all night? Where is everyone??? You weren't at the pub where I was, or I'd'a seen you!
I'll just leave this selection of cheeses and crackers on the bar....?
;o)
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....oh, and this hooooooge crate of Black Stump!
Yummmmm............
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Just looking but not commenting!
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Just seen the halifax advert. I presume they want us to not think of either Titanic (sinking ships) or Monthy Python's Meaning of life. Perhaps titanic not the best analogy for a bank with a rights issue!!!
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Morning all!
I have a sneaking suspicion that with both Eddie and Carolyn off today, there won't be a new beach, unless Ritulah's been given the keys to the blog, that is...
Coffee urn is set up :-)
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FF, you may well be right. thanks for the coffee it's most welcome, RL day in the office today and then off to work in Romsey tomorrow.
now who wants some toast?
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Tea and toast please, DIWyman ;o)
I'll have a quick dip, then I'm off to RL too. I'm a lucky lady - my morning will be fun - we're making cow puppets today!
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Dear Ms Adie,
Rain, rain, rain. Day in, day out, nothing but rain and then rain again. Does Her Majesty never take a holiday?
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I thunk we can cope with the old beach for a few more days. Costbucks coffee anyone?
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What ho every-peeps.
Does the new beach need jump starting? Did Eddie leave the lights on all night and drain the battery? Never mind, we'll cope.
Ta for the coffee. Just going to have a quick snooze...
;o) []
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Wonko, i think sequin forgot to refill the fuel tank!
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can i just run soemthaing past frogging peeps?
do you think it would be an idea to have a Previous Main Next button at the bottom of each thread?
or am i missing a trick somewhere.
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*spell check off* soemthaing *spell check on*!
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How come youve got a Deep south Twang suddenly? Thaing. You were thinking speedos and thongs I presume.
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SM, (s)pot on!
lol Diy :)
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Cecil and Andy were out jogging together when Andy stops to retie his laces, “Cecil, won’t be a mo, I’ll catch you up” says Andy.
Kneeling down and doing his laces Andy spots a brand new tennis ball resting at the base of a tree and being a big fan of the game he picks it up.
“Drat it” mutters Andy realizing he hasn’t any pockets in his running shorts, so he glances round and making sure no one is watching stuffs it down the front of his shorts. Shortly he catches up with Cecil and draws alongside. At this point Cecil glances across to Andy and spies the “bulge” in Andy’s shorts!
With a snigger he says “ Wot’s that then mate?” to which Andy replies , “Tennis ball!”.
“Jeez” says Cecil, “I had tennis elbow once and that was painful enough”
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That's brought a smile to my face :-)
I see " and ' are not playing
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Oh perhaps they are.
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test
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SM, how u do that? "
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now, how did i do that?
*sits down and scratches head*
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testy
Cecil and Andy were out jogging together when Andy stops to retie his laces, "Cecil, won't be a mo, I'll catch you up" says Andy......etc
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sussed it, i think 'cos i wrote it in MS word and then copiously pasted it in, then the " and the ' got substituted for ? and ?
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Emily drives up to her local garage and says to the mechanic, "Do you charge batteries?"
"Yes we do miss" says oily oik. "Well, change mine and charge it to my father then"
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DIW - here, have another beer; it's a wee bit past it's sell by date, as it's from a museum just outside Burton on Trent.....
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Re Previous Main Next
yup, I thought so too, DIY, until I found that when I hit the "home" key, I was right back at the top of the page, with the mouse hovering just over Previous.....
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Ethel drives to her local railway station, and sees a sign in the shop opposite "Watch Batteries Replaced Here"
"that's not my idea of entertainment" says she.
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Molly - have you still got that eccles cake in your pocket?!!!
n-n
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n-n, re "home", you hero!!!
and thanks for the o-o-d beer, i think i'll use it on the slugs!
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n-n, if you toggle quickly between 'Home' and 'End' keys you can see Eddie flashing!
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testy two
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You're right, Stewart!
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Is it just me, or my deja vu, or my imagination, but haven't we had this fifi strapline yesterday or the day before?
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I went to the Dentist the other day. I sat back in the chair and the Dentist said "Say 'ah'" I asked why? He said "My cat's died."
Spoon jar, jar spoon...
A friend asked me for a lift the other day. I said "You're looking great and your whole life's ahead of you."
Spoon jar, jar spoon...
;o) []
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Wonko, go and sit in the shade right this instant!
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If you threw a clock out of 5th story window could you be accused of killing time?
If you mixed Sodium Chloride with Nickel Cadmium could you be done for assault and battery?
Why did the jam roll? Because it saw an apple turnover?
Aha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, haaa!
;o) []
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Did you hear about the man who spent two hours looking intensely at a carton of orange juice? It said "Concentrate" on the side!
;o) []
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DI (300), that'll teach you to use the products of the late Mr Gates.
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Frances?
Has the Gate shut? Or is it just always late?
xx
ed
知 者 不 言。 言 者 不 知。
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Franc(i)es_O (just hedging me bets there), well that's me told then.
Wonko, come out of the sun NOW!
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That's funny! My chinese characters showed up when I posted, but converted to queeries on second thought (reload) The link works anyway....
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Hi there fellow 'froggers' this is my first time so please be gentle with me!!
I'm on the Beach with my new MP3 - just procured on ebay, anyone fancy a chilled glass of Chardonnay with me?
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Political Pornography
Check out the expression on the guy on the right! ;-)
xxx
ed
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KookieB,
I suggest a few quick, inoffensive posts to speed your exit from the untrusted hoi-polloi, and into the warmth of the assembly of "trusted" froggers.
Salaaaaami and cheese!
xxx
ed
Welcome to Cowboy country!
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This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the House Rules.
Ed I, LOL, bet he is thinking, kiss my sweet black ?ss honey!
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KookieB,
Hint: Click anything blue.While you're playing around in pre-moderation, you can learn a few
;-)
ed
;-(((
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;-(
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Thanks Ed I for the introduction, I was reliably informed by Fifi that if I brought a Picnic and suitable liquid refreshment to the beach you would talk to me.
What goes for the weekend? Do we do interesting stuff or just chill?
('_') KB
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My joke got modded!!
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so here it is again!
Early on the morning of their anniversary, the wife wakes up in bed and notices her husband is missing.
She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him.
She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall.
She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.
'What's the matter, dear?' she whispers as she steps into the room. 'Why are you down here at this time of night?'
The husband looks up from his coffee, 'I am just remembering when we first met 20 years ago and started dating. You were only 16. Do you remember back then?' he asks solemnly.
The wife is touched to tears thinking that her husband is so caring, so sensitive.
'Yes, I do' she replies.
The husband pauses. The words were not coming easily. 'Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car?'
'Yes, I remember,' said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.
The husband continues. 'Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said, 'Either you marry my daughter, or I will send you to jail for 20 years'?'
'I remember that, too' she replies softly.
He wipes another tear from his cheek and says... 'I would have gotten out today.
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KookieB, welcome and beware of mods!
mine's a pint of scrumpy...cheers me dears!
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Welcome KookieB - we were warned.....sorry, alerted...no, not that either......threatened....oh dear.....asked to watch out for you and make you feel at home ;o)
Thanks for the glass of wine - would you like some crisps and dips?
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I wish to make it clear that I am not the Deep Thought mentioned in DIY's joke (328). That's just mere digit-counting; don't insult me by comparison. [max 21, if you know the Bill Clinton joke] ;-)
Welcome KookieB. Have you been introduced to the Nick Clarke Bar, and at it's side the ever-ready BBQ ?
I wonder who is doing iPM this week, if EM and Sequin are away...RS made no mention of it this evening, just that she's on again tomorrow. (and good interview with O'Farrell, not sure if they had agreed that detail, or the PM team had primed RS with "the dirt" and put him on the spot - great moment anyway). Back to iPM, being here now suggests I may miss its 0545 broadcast tomorrow am. I cannot burn the candle both ends every day!
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Three hundred and thirty two posts (including this one).
How many of them are left handed, i wonder.
A goodly number, I expect.
At the internet cafe here ,I run into something that happens too often for us not to mention it.
The mouse lead here is so short we lefty users have to do it right handed. As any lefty will tell you, doing it right handed when it comes naturally to do it with the left, is always tricky and sometimes painful. (Try it with the wrong hand yourself)
So this is a plea for longer mouse tails where the wireless writ doesn't run.
I was in Kuala Lumper earlier this year. There, you never eat or greet with your left hand 'cos it gets busy without the aid of paper there. So being Lefty there is the easiest way to avoid being unclean. A real advantage.
But in internet cafes and other places where you can't shift the electronic furniture easily, Lefty has a real prob. if his mouse tail is too short. Now the boot is on the other hand.
And it's sometimes the tail I'm handed is just too darned short. Not too long, like some mice's tales.
“Fury said to a
mouse, That he
met in the
house,
‘Let us
both go to
law: I will
prosecute
you.—Come,
I’ll take no
denial: We
must have a
trial; For
really this
morning I’ve
nothing
to do.’
Said the
mouse to the
cur, ‘Such
a trial,
dear sir,
With
no jury
or judge,
would be
wasting
our
breath.’
‘I’ll be
judge, I’ll
be jury,’
Said
cunning
old Fury:
‘I’ll
try the
whole
cause,
and
condemn
you
to
death’.”
That one, for a start.
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(Or rather: though no better I expect).
“Fury said to a
mouse, That he
met in the
house,
‘Let us
both go to
law: I will
prosecute
you.—Come,
I’ll take no
denial: We
must have a
trial; For
really this
morning I’ve
nothing
to do.’
Said the
mouse to the
cur, ‘Such
a trial,
dear sir,
With
no jury
or judge,
would be
wasting
our
breath.’
‘I’ll be
judge, I’ll
be jury,’
Said
cunning
old Fury:
‘I’ll
try the
whole
cause,
and
condemn
you
to
death’.”
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You'll just have to imagine the kinks in it. So to speak.
Goodnight all.
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Hey, Kookey, you made it!!! I see you made yourself at home too ... judging by the empty chardonnay bottles littering the BBQ area!
For a sort of fast-forward guided tour of the full Beach facilities (this goes for all of you still finding your way around) you could try scrolling down a bit to the link on the right with the Froggers' Refuge.
There is a song there, that lots of us recorded, bit by bit, and jonnie sewed together... I'm still really proud of it, and whenever Froggers meet, some chump will start singing bits of it!
Now then. Is there anything at all left of my gobstopper, or has DIY done for it? It hasn't ended up with Sid's sprouts, I hope...
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...oh, and by the way ... yes my strapline's lasted 2 whole days! That's a record, surely? [Don't call me Shirley!] Admit it... you thought that, right?
Very late night nibbles brought to the Bar... chips and dips, crisps, hot sausage rolls, and the rest of the crate of Black Stump.
Yay!
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(pm pm pm!!)
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