The Beach.
Oh most beautiful Beach of the programme PM,
Where the Froggers congregate even though you can't see them,
With camels and surf and castles of sand,
As a refuge from woes and seriousness it was planned,
With a bar in memory of a presenter most grand,
And imag'nery sun to get most safely tanned,
Renewed by our host, most every Friday,
Visitor, relax and enjoy, and please keep it tidy.
Listen to PM
© MMIX~RS~q~RS~~RS~z~RS~04~RS~)
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morning froggers!
a glorious morning it is, I start two weeks of holiday today. The down side we are stripping out 'old' bathroom back to the bare walls etc so that 'I' can refurbish it.
to celebrate there is chilled orange juice at NC's!
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My my (yawns and stretches) its quiet here and I got up later than usual. I'll put the coffee on.
Doing DIY DIY? You have my sympathy. I did my bathroom recently and I am still recovering from the effort. Twisted my knee. Bedroom ceiling next. No time for the beech.
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Was that was the new spelling of beach or the tree I have to prune?
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Well, DiY, with your name you should have no difficulty, should you? ;o) Perhaps you need to change your name to No Can-Do (a possible future contender for the role of UN Secretary General, perhaps) and you won't find yourself typecast?
The OJ's lovely. Some warm croissants in the oven.
Enjoy your 'holiday', Di!
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Ah, to heck with diets and healthy eating for a day - I'm doing sausage, bacon, egg, tomato and fried bread for anybody that wants it!
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TiH, I'm up for it, also brought along some freshly prepared English Mustard, a product of that coalman from Norwich!
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I'm raising a glass of OJ and a bacon sarnie to SSC, who wrote the new Beach intro.
Credit where credit's due, eh, Eric?!
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Happy Hols to all who have them - I'm off to make some woolly sheep today ;o)
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Gillianian - gosh you were really paying attention to that cloning item a few days ago then? I'm impressed! How many sheep are you creating?
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Very nice intro SSC -
DIY - have a lovely time - I don't envy you the bathroom job - but at least the sense of self satisfaction is good at the end.
I'll pop back around lunch to see if Glady's Fidays around. I'll bring down a few rounds of sandwiches and a huge thermos of Taylors coffee.
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Did someone say 'prune'? Hmm ...
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Thanks jonnie!
Gillianianianian, is there any other sort and can I have a couple? Can do a swap with some mint I have growing all round the garden!
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Wake up everybody! Someone's nicked Jonnie's joke! Quick, alarums and excursions! Hue and Cry! Stop, thief!
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I've been modded! Haven't had that happen for a while. That's me, jonnie and . . .who was the third one?
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Sid, wot in the name of what is most holy is an alarum(s)?
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jonnie..re sandwitches......chicken & salad or egg & cress for me, go easy on the mayo though...thanks
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DIY - may I quote from the OED: "... . a. A call to arms; a signal calling upon men to arm. alarums (or alarms) and excursions, a stage-direction occurring in slightly varying forms in Shakes. Hen. VI and Rich. III (e.g. 3 Hen. VI, v. ii. init.); hence used playfully by recent writers for: skirmishing, confused fighting or onsets, sudden divagations, etc. (see sense 11 below)."
I have just discovered that 'alarm' comes from 'all arm' ... well, well, well ...
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Sid, well that's me put straight then!
changing tack, this beach isn't Goa is it? If it is we all may get kicked off seein' as the natives have just changed the law with regards to property ownership and things.
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Afternoon everyone, just back from a healthy ten-mile walk and...
*double take*
Blimey! That looks familiar. Thanks Eddie, that's put a smile on my wossname...
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well done SSC!
(do i spot a tribute to a former poet?!)
Am OFFICIALLY putting my feet up....I may be some time!!!
n-n
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Beaches win awards from Europe for cleanliness and only on this A.M. Beeb radio - one clean beach lost said merit because they were gauged just after the floods of last year.
All that garbage liable to swamp our Golden Sands, Eddie and you encourage little old human us to keep it tidy whilst here?
Nature red in tooth and claw and all human efforts for the previous 12 or 24 months gone to waste.
My exit as a result was a pain last time - I admit. Bucket and spade and flouncing off like that! lol
Sand through an hour glass - one grain at a time? Gigantic hour glass though. A couple of beaches already in the bottom half and no sign of an end.
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DIY (21) Is this Beach Goa, you ask? Well, it's only been Goa-ing since this morning...
I'll get me coat!
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Ok - Who's nicked the sandwiches?
That's thre modded posts taken off the blog and a nice cafetiere of coffee!!
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Annasee (9) Well that's 11 little baa-lambs off to frolic in fresh pastures - one had its front legs at the back, another had its tail under its chin, one was just a bundle of matted fleece, and I came home covered in fluff.
This cloning business ain't as easy it sounds ;o)
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Sheer poetry, SSC.
Well... actually, sheer doggerel, but since it's in the style of William Topaz, that's a compliment.
I've missed Horsey's Ulster Fry, oh dear...
Happy weekend, everyone
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Good for SSC!
and thanks, Eric, for using that. It suits the Beach perfectly, *I* think.
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I'm fuming. After last night's scalping of the grass at the back of the house, with the shiny new mower, I was looking forward to erecting the summer branch office today - namely the gazebo.
Cleverly I waited till SO stopped work to have lunch, and suggested we put the thing up while we were both away from our desks.
...and then the rain started. Turned into a deluge. And the BBC weather chappie promised lots more over the weekend.
I require comforting! :o(
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Fifi I don't suppose it's any comfort to you, but I'm desperate for rain, we've had none for most of the last month and the garden and the allotment are in dire need only a few miles to the west of you. We've still had nothing more than a sprinkling.
Sorry.
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DI, on the last beach, you asked what the difference is between a stoat and a weasel.
Answer: They're weaselly distinguishable because they're stoatally different.
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Fran O, well thanks for the clarification, I am now much the wiser.
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I think!
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ah DIY, it were finking wot got ya in trouble in der first place.
just sit back and whet ya weasel with a g&t. it'll all become stoatally clear
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Frances O (32) & DIY (somewhere)
Stoats are usually bigger and heavier than weasels and much longer lived. Weasels also raise two litters a year as opposed to the stoat’s one litter. Stoats also have a black tip to their tail which a weasel doesn’t. The black tip remains in winter, when the stoat turns white – it’s known as ermine then. Stoats will also tackle bigger prey than a weasel.
Of course if you live in Ireland it’s even more confusing. The weasel, which everyone calls a whitrick, is in fact a stoat – but an Irish stoat – a sub-species. There are no weasels in Ireland.
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That's the last time I write in Word and then copy and paste!
???????
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Did you hear what I heard at 20.45 tonite, froggers?
Next Friday 'Any Questions' is to be chaired by our leader.
Every frogger should be there. In my home town of Rugby.
Let's hope he chooses Fifi's question this time. She deserves what the estimable Stephen Fry calls the 'twee question at the end' slot.
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morning frogging peeps, a big thank you for all the weasel / stoat stuff, but I now have a headache!
anyhoo, plenty of chilled Cranberry and OJ at NC's. Can't be faffed with doing a 'Saturday' fry up as we had supper quite last evening.
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revolutionaryleftie (37)
Eddie sure is (according to the radio 4 schedule); it also shows that this evening's iPM is the last in this run. But as Fifi found out, you have to get your tickets early - may be too late already (unless you can pick up a return).
I did raise the point in the past about Eric being stalked by froggers every time he did an "Any Questions". Fifi has photographic near proof that was published on the blog at the time.
Doubt I could get to Rugby for next Friday :-(.
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Suggestions for more hard-edged Eurovision song entries:
Bruvver in da Hood of Man's "Shave All Your Kittens For Me"
Buck's Fizz's "Smackin' my B**** Up"
Cliff Richard's "Commiserations (and Lacerations)"
Lulu's original Glaswegian version of "Boom-Bang-A-Bang":
"Boom-bang-a-bang,
Boom-bang-a-bang,
Is whit ah'm gonnae dae tae yer heid pal,
Boom-bang-a-bang,
Boom-bang-a-bang,
Get yer maw tae stitch *this* pal..." etc.
(Scarily, I can easily picture Lulu singing this version)
Anyone got any more?
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Weekend brew is on the bar, and coffee in the pot...
mostly, I shall be dunkin biscuits this morning
<dunks>
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Morning, froggers! Horsey, I didn't know that about weasels in Ireland. Did the snakes eat them all and then die of poisoning?
SSC, love them! excellent.
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Night Caps Anyone?
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Allan Titchmarsh got rid of his stooooopid sideburns and there were too many green gardens at Chelsea. The garden my wife and I voted for won. Good taste, I guess. That and the fact the man who did it writes for The Independent.
Too rainy here for the beach today....
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Rev (37): A lovely thought, thank you, but I have a monthly acoustic session to run closer to home that night. Not even for a second crack at saying hi to my favourite teddybear impersonator could I bounce that gig!
Now then, to serious matters. Exactly a year ago today, I was singing in a marquee at a charity gala. Who remembers the weather on May Bank Holiday Sunday 2007?
As the guy pegs worked loose and the canvas started flapping, a large speaker fell on to the stage, narrowly missing me and my instruments, and then the marquee fell down. Italian pub landlord ran through the flapping canvas, shrieking: "Get ze cheeldren out of ze teeeeeent!"
No singers were harmed in the telling of this anecdote.
I haven't dared to look out of the window yet, to see whether it's likely to be a repeat performance. It can't be as bad as BH this morning can it??
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Fifi - the organisers should know by now that it's no use having an event on the same weekend as the Lichfield Bower. The weather is ALWAYS terrible!
Please make sure that they haven't used the new bio-degradable tent pegs to fasten down the Marquee - they may dissolve in the rain ;o)
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re charity gala event:
"oh yes it can!!!"
(ohhh no it can't!!!")
....cont....
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Oh dear me. Too much champers last night. I'll just lie down over here if no one minds too much...
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Well, that's the Family Service out of the way. A large marquee full of tots and their parents belting the living jobbies out of 2 boxes of percussion instruments for the entire length of He's Got the Whole World in his Hands.
Whoever wrote so many verses should be shot!!!!
;o)
Just the auction and the folk music to go......
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Ah, sunshine, at last!!!
virtually.
but, you takes what you can get.
Shall I pour??!
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Meeeeoooowwwww!
I'll explain in the morning.
A, x.
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Ap - I don't think I can wait until the morning.
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1am-ish, and the charity auction and Fete Accompli gig are out of the way.. but I'm still wide awake! Waaaah!!!!!
Anyone who would like late night porridge (perhaps to forestall tomorrow's hangovers?) is welcome to partake of the batch I have keeping warm on the back of the barbecue at the NCMB.
Now... who wants what if I'm on a chip shop run?
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morning froggers and peeps of the world!
In RL, BH Monday and rain, a combination that goes without saying!
At least it is a perfect morning on the Beach.
Spent the whole of yesterday with son #2 ripping out our bathroom. Now back to a concrete floor and bare walls. But we have to dig up the path outside to lay in a new sewer pipe so that the 21st century bog will fit in a 1960's bungalow. And they call it progres.
Anyhoo I digress, scarmbled eggs and crispy bacon with toast and OJ for breakfast. I will leave some at NC's, enjoy.
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This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the House Rules.
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Gosh DMcN!! It's all happnin innit?!!
Real life is never like the movies, is it?!!! hahaha!!!
n-n
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nn 57,
To exciting for the mods, apparently. It and my previous are both gone. Gotta earn their keep, I suppose. Aaaaand, I didn't even mention any names or products.
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TIH 17,
I had two (count 'em) post modded here within minutes of each other. Beat that!
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All,
I'll be back when my posts are reinstated.
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I think the mods get more active at weekends.
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oh dear. They were mending the blog last week. Now I have had 404 three times when I tried to go to a new thread, and one when I tried to sign in and one when I posted, but the post has appeared for all that.
They seem to have mended it so much that it is really difficult to use.
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I've had a few 404s, selkie.
Can't work out what they've 'fixed'.
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Frances O, maybe they have added the Next buttons on the threads they weren't on, or something.
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I think it is the previous/next buttons, Selkie. I've often found them slightly misleading.
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I could do with having a "previous" and a "next" button - it'd get me from one task to another...so when i finish the washing up, i could just hit 'next'
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Oh dear, obviously suffering a delayed Monday morning as I just wandered onto the wrong beach and posted something about weasels etc which it appears is quite wrong. hey-ho.
Here have a mug of builders tea to start the day. I obviously need one.
Finally we've had a reasonable amount of rain so I'm a lot happier. Now I just have to go to the allotment to see if the gales blew the bean poles away.
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Anne P...thanks for the info on the 'other' Beach!
Have a glass of chilled OJ.
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Mrs Trellis sends this link to something very amusing on t'interweb thingy.
Please, moderators, let it alone. It's just harmless fun.
Thank you!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hgYwTELj-fs
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FiFi..
gert orf moy land!
And a shot of the Glastonbury Tor in the background, splendid stuff, them old country ways needs to be preserved for future genrations!
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Just been to Victoria Derbyshire's blog ... and I'm wondering why she's able to show comments in the order they're made and we're not.
And now I'm not wondering anything at all ... just lying in the sun, waiting for elevenses.
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Fifi, thank you and thank you twice, Mrs T.
That was wonderful! Funniest thing I've seen for ages.
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And I need a laugh. Rang D*no-R*d at 9, they said the plumber would ring in 3/4 hour; I cancelled my morning appointment. No call Have rung them 3 times since then. It's now 3hrs 15 mins later. Think I'll get someone else.
Lousy customer service; lousy customer relations.
Beware.
I mean, I know plumbers, painters, builders etc absolutely HAVE to muck you around, it's traditional, but how does making a phone call become too difficult to do?
</rant>
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Thank you Mrs T (and Fifi) - loved it!
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(61), Yes, that's when they get together in Brighton and fiught rockers and so on...
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Okay, I'm now seeing numbers float before my eyes, as I'm in the middle of a stats session for 6 sigma. Anyone got any suggestions on how to get rid of them???
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FF (76) - Seems a bit drastic to me, but you could trying gouging them out with a spoon.
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TIH (77) I meant the numbers, not the eyes.....
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Fearless - Ah! Well I can cure that.
Associate each number with an attractive female. For instance, 29 might be Lucy Porter, 17.2 might be Penelope Cruz, etc. When you have associated all the numbers with beautiful woman, come back and tell me why you want to get rid of them!
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TIH (79) Now I won't be able to concentrate at all! Nice to see you put Lucy Porter high on the list :-) A man of taste!
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Fearless - I recalled that you had expressed appreciation of Ms Parter in the recent past!
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TiH 79, i just tried that as well, now got images of Fifi, Big Sis, Gillianianian, Sequin and jonnie stuck in my mind!
am i doing something wrong?
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FF 80,
re Horse, "A man of taste!", i thought he was filly / mare not a stud / gelding!
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I'm very glad to say that I have no idea what you're talking about.
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Fifi 49,
FYI, I repeated your "Whoever..." line three times followed by "He's got the whole world in his hands." That got my post deleted, but not yours. Go figure.
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85. ('Cos you can deal with anything at all.)
What's the best accent to use when on the phone booking a London restaurant these days? For getting a table and for service when you get there? Is a change of accent best?
I hear the Scots just get served entrails if they're not careful enough to sound English.
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Mmmmm, haggis
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Horse, (79) I decided to be systematic:
I started with 1, then went to 0.1 then 0.01, 0.001 and to date, I am still trying to get another digit in.....can you advise?!!
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haggis? in May?
Its the closed season, Frances O, you'll wont get any freshly shot haggis before the summer!!!
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I tried to book a table once, but it drove off....
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Mr Noodle (88) - I fear that you are regressing exponentially and beyond any help that I can offer. If you are short of digits, I can only recommend that you order a few Viennese fingers for mid-morning coffee tomorrow.
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Morning everyone. I've got to pop over the chanel for the day, so I've left a pot of tea ready to brew, and the coffee is percolating nicely. I'll try and bring back some nibbles for later :-)
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Morning everyone. I've got to pop over the channel for the day, so I've left a pot of tea ready to brew, and the coffee is percolating nicely. I'll try and bring back some nibbles for later :-)
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Hey! I've found two pots of tea left by the Fred Twins.
*sings random Eagles songs*
"There ain't no way to hide your lion pies..."
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F Fred, thanks for the tea. I need a pick me up as we were all awake at 3 this morning 'enjoying' a thunderstorm!
BTW, why on earth would you want to get up so early to cross the Bristol Channel?
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Okay, Appy (51), it is now morning . . . explanation please?
H.
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Cheers FF's!!!
I guess youre not going as far as Vienna, so I have order some Viennese Fingers from the local patiserie (sp), for mid morning, as recommended by the Intermittent One!!
I think I also ticked the boxes marked: chocolate eclaires, danish pastries and crispy dough nuts (donuts)!!!
Give me a holla when they turn up (should be soonish i hope, Im a bit peckish already!!) as I am just going down to the waters edge....
n-n
xx
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DIY:
I can recommend this site which I use everyday to see what weather I'm gettting
http://www.metoffice.gov.uk/weather/uk/radar/index.html
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Horse (77), Hahahaha and eeewwwww!
Mr Noodle (88), "I am still trying to get another digit in" -- I think it'll have to be Jordan then, or maybe Jodie Marsh...
Humph (96), Um, I'm not sure I can really. I'd had some potential good news and "hurrah!" just didn't seem appropriate.
Everyone, good morning and do have a lovely day. Do you knwo that Kylie is 40 today? I only know this becasue I know she shares her special birthday with my sister-in-law, who is presently lamenting the fact that no one believs she is the same age as Kylie...
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I am delighted to announce that Fifi's summer branch office is up, furnished (though not yet decorated), wired and working.
In other words, we've put up the gazebo.
Summer is declared! (hence the pelting rain....) ;o)
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Anyone for a swim in the rain?
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Fifi's summer branch office update:
The office has moved 18 inches closer to the shed. Expert advice from SO that guying would not be needed proved over-optimistic.
And while we were nailing the thing down, we were overflown by no fewer than FIVE low, slow, somewhat wobbly vertical take-off jets from nearby RAF Unmentionable. I was hoping for scorch-marks on the canvas, so the MoD could offer to treat us to a new gazebo... no such luck!
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Fifi, hope you have better luck with your gazebo than we did - flattened by the wind on Monday. That'll teach me to tell tales of derring do on camping holidays.
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Should that be 'daring do' it looks odd and I've realised that I don't think I've ever seen it written down ?
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(gm)
I must go down to the sea again,
to the lonely sea and sky
and all I ask is
a rather large plate of muffins, and a round of cakes, if you happen to have some handy, ta.
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Anne P (104) - It's "derring-do".
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The OED says: "The two words durring, dorryng, daring, vbl. n. from durran, dorren to DARE, and don, do, pres. inf. of DO v., literally daring to do, which, by a chain of misunderstandings and errors, have come to be treated as a kind of substantive combination, taken to mean, Daring action or feats, ‘desperate courage’."
Time to crack open another case of Rioja, I think ...
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Sid, Horse, can I be best man?
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Ap (108) - I haven't said "yes" yet.
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Anne P, I would agree with TIH that it should be: "derring-do". The horse is right in what he Neighs! ;o)
H.
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If App is best man, can I be chief bridesmaid?
H.
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Humph (111) Only if I can be the Usher-ette ;o)
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Okay, I'm back, and I've left a refrigerated crate full of nibbles, pastries, croissants, pain au chocolat, etc for everyone to tuck into for breakfast tomorrow. I'm just opening a Pinot Noir as I start on hour 23 of a long day. Anyone want a glass?
nn (105) All I can reply with is:
I must go down to the sea again
To the lonely sea nd sky
I left my vest and socks there
I wonder if they're dry?
G(111) If you're the Usher-ette, will you be going round the congregation with ice-creams at "half-time"?
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And, by some quirk of fate, the depths of which I dare not fathom, we seem to have another pair who "have come to be treated as a kind of substantive combination"
Its all words, words, words...
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morning froggers and peeps!
n-n 98 thanks for the weather link.
had a dayy off from DIYing yesterday, SO and I took grandchildren to Diss to have a picnic in the park, feed the duscks and fish in the Mere and generally have jolly good day out. All topped off by having fish and chips out of the wrappers for tea. Glorious.
Feefs, the wobbly Hen Harriers from RAF Stop-Wittering-On were trying to dry your lawn!
Is someone getting married? and if Humph is being chief bridesmaid can I be Rev Green in the garden with the lead pipe?
FF thanks for the nibbles and drinkies, I am glad you had a good day out as well!
Anyhoo, breakfast and then back to bathroom building. New coving going up today.......*crosses fingers*
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did you get some sleep FFRed? And why are you still wearing a vest in May, is it cold down south?
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Sorry Appy - Mrs Sid won't play ball ... which reminds me, where's the swingball?
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Ah swingball - played in our family with "frog bats" owing to the occasion when a small froglet climbed into one of the deep holes in the 'mesh' of the plastic bat and got stuck!
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Dear me Anne (118)! And you carried on playing??? Cruelty to frog(let)s is frowned upon here you know?! ;-)
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DIY (115) Did I say it was good? Glad you enjoyed the nibbles :-)
GM (116) I think I finally managed to get to sleep about 1am. An early night for me tonight, I think... Oh, and it's a metaphorical vest :-)
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Fearless (120), Do you keep your metaphorical vest in the same drawer as your special sock? ;-)
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very busy morn in RL, coving now up!
now feeling a bit peckish so have 'found' some spag bol i found in the freezer, will defrost it and leave portions along with some garlic bread at NC's, better be quick though!
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Appy, the froglet was safely deposited in the pond before playing recommenced!
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Don't mention the sock, Appy!
I keep the metaphorical vest in the allegorical chest of drawers :-)
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Fearless - If you have drawers on your chest, I think it is less allegorical than surreal - and certainly not sartorially sensible!
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I fancy a chip shop run tonight, having had a very virtuous lunch with a very special visitor in the Summer Branch Office.
Anyone want anything? Remember to tell me if you want s&v, or any other side orders.
(By the way, an hour after said visitor had departed in glorious sunshine, it clouded over and started to rain. SBO abandoned in favour of house, rashn vrashn...)
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Feef (126) I would say "Yes" but I had a very good lunch, today. ;o)
H.
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Really Humph? You weren't in Fifi's SBO, were you?
I'll have chips with LOTS of vinegar and little salt please Feefs!
Fearless, is the allegorical chest of drawers near the magic wardrobe?
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OK so you enjoyed the Channel 4 sky dive and you're grateful to Eddie for flagging it up today......
And for all the mentions you froggers get on the programme .....
But just you wait until you find out how he wants you lot to spell out 'PM' and 'iPM' next week.
No, Fifi, it won't be in empty bottles, nor in canapes and tasties, DIWyman.
My guess is underwater, in wet suits, flippers and air cannisters, off the Beach (your pied a terre, your home from home), with just the Great White (rat) for company.
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cor, hold your horses, Im going to need a map soon!
Lets get this straight
1. Fearless left half his underware to dry on the shore
2. His amphigorical sideboard is next to the wardrobe, and one (or the other) contains his chest (or his drawers)
3. Anne P's froglet has vacated the racket because it would interupt her swing ball
4. Humph was in the SBO with a side order of chips,
5. hang on, i've left off the sock...
Right start again, give me a clean sheet of paper, that chip wrapper will do!
now, then:
Sod it, pass the cork screw, someone!!
n-n
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cor, hold your horses, Im going to need a map soon!
Lets get this straight
1. Fearless left half his underware to dry on the shore
2. His amphigorical sideboard is next to the wardrobe, and one (or the other) contains his chest (or his drawers)
3. Anne P's froglet has vacated the racket because it would interupt her swing ball
4. Humph was in the SBO with a side order of chips,
5. hang on, i've left off the sock...
Right start again, give me a clean sheet of paper, that chip wrapper will do!
now, then:
Never mind, pass the cork screw, someone!!
n-n
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Appy (128), that would be telling in the same way as (99) would be telling . . .
<ahem> ladies first ;o)
H.
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130 and 131
What's this? One of those 'Spot the difference' puzzles?
Oh, sod it, I thought I'd got it, but no! Never mind.
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Humph (132), But I did tell you:
"I'd had some potential good news and "hurrah!" just didn't seem appropriate."
But I happen to know from other sources that my 128 was correct! :-)
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pm leader
sod it got modded out last time, i remembered once i had already posted!
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