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It's Friday, it's 5 to 5 and it's Crackerjack

Sequin | 12:13 UK time, Friday, 15 June 2007

One of the above is correct. I'm just a little over-excited being back in Eddie's chair once again - though the goody cupboard was disappointingly empty this morning. Am consoling myself with aniseed balls having run out of liquorice whirls.

We've been pondering this great headline in the Telegraph: " Fans accuse BBC of watering down their Porridge". Some eagle -eyed fans of the seventies sitcom have accused the beeb of removing a line of dialogue that could be offensive to homosexuals. We're trying to find out from the BBC press office whether the accusation is true, but in the meantime Julia has booked Christopher Biggins , who played the camp chef in the series , to talk to us live. Just made us wonder if there are some people who sit watching old programmes like this with scripts in their laps, or have they watched them so many times they think they know every line of dialogue.

Much concern in the office this morning........one of our producers, Sarah , is getting married tomorrow (Altogether now, AH). In the Lake District. Will the road and rail disruption caused by today's floods abate, and allow the invitees to travel up there? We need to know.

Anyway, nice to be back with you ...... speak again later,



  1. At 12:41 PM on 15 Jun 2007, Big Sister wrote:

    Nice to have you with us again, Sequin. I hope Eddie won't miss Sarah's wedding, though. (Has he had to stand in for Jonathan at the last minute?- probably not.)

    I'll bet you don't miss the early mornings now that Sarah's back on duty.

    As to the Porridge story, my SO's convinced that the Beeb won't run It Ain't Half Hot Mum for similar reasons ....

    Aniseed? You'll have all the dogs running after you!

  2. At 12:59 PM on 15 Jun 2007, nikki noodle wrote:

    Good to have you back, Sequin, and looking forward to the programme!

    Isnt there a BBC book of scripts? I think they were marketed along with all the Christmas gift stuff.

    nikki noodle

  3. At 01:09 PM on 15 Jun 2007, The Stainless Steel Cat wrote:

    Sequin, good to see you back!

    As for Porridge, yes, I've seen it so many times I can quote whole screeds of dialogue. Any idea which episode it was?

    I remember in the first episode, Fletcher was trying to convince the M.O. that he had bad feet so that he could keep his confy shoes...

    Doctor: "Are you now, or have you ever been a practising homosexual?"
    Fletch: "What, with these feet?"

    There was also a good line when Fletch is talking to Blanco Webb (David Jason) about his cellmate Lukewarm (Biggins):

    Blanco: "He irons me shirts and looks after me better than a daughter."
    Fletch: "I thought he *was* your daughter."

  4. At 01:14 PM on 15 Jun 2007, Roberto Carlos Alvarez-Galloso,CPUR wrote:

    Congradulations to Sarah and great to have you with us Sequin.

  5. At 01:18 PM on 15 Jun 2007, ian wrote:

    A wedding? And where was my invitation as a peripatetic frogger? Lost in the moderation system, I shouldn't wonder.

  6. At 01:20 PM on 15 Jun 2007, Stewart M wrote:

    Assume Sarah must not live in the Parish she is to get married in. Long commute if so. Hope the banns have all been sorted out in plenty of time. As long as Bride,groom and witnesses are there then no one else matters. Apart from missing the party.

  7. At 01:23 PM on 15 Jun 2007, Wonko wrote:

    What ho Sequin! Nice to see you back on the Frog again.

    One small request...

    Any chance of a fresh Beach? It's just that the old one is looking a bit tatty and worn around the seams.

    Ta muchly.

    ;o) []

  8. At 01:49 PM on 15 Jun 2007, Perky wrote:

    Welcome back sequin, it's good to know the programme's in good hands.

    I don't know about Porridge, but I'd definitely spot any lines missing from Blackadder, although clearly if the BBC tried to censor those, there'd not be much left to watch.

    Hope Sarah's wedding goes swimmingly - well not literally, of course - and that everyone gets there and back in one piece.


  9. At 02:04 PM on 15 Jun 2007, ian wrote:

    If we're going to start replacing things that are tatty and worn around the seams, can I at least have 28 days notice so that I might emigrate.

  10. At 02:16 PM on 15 Jun 2007, Vyle Hernia wrote:

    Wonko (5) Doesn't the Beach operate in accordance with the tides, i.e. the phases of the moon?

    WRT Porridge etc., surely anything goes after the 9 o'clock watershed. Some of the things I hear when I am near the TV offend me far more than comments about my [enter appropriate area for PC censorship].

  11. At 02:44 PM on 15 Jun 2007, Aunt Dahlia wrote:

    Once sat through a performance, in the round, at Stratford. With two v. earnest Americans at the front reading their way through the play - word by word. Think it was Ian McK, and he was getting a little edgy towards the end...

  12. At 02:50 PM on 15 Jun 2007, Stewart M wrote:

    Re Newsletter and Bingley


    Its wet up here.

  13. At 03:18 PM on 15 Jun 2007, Wonko wrote:

    ian - if we were going to get rid of all things that were tatty and worn at the seems I'd be the first in the skip! ;o)

    Vyle Hernia - no, actually The Beach doesn't operate in tune with the tides. Curious thing, I think it's got something quantum to do with the time slip effect of travelling from June (or whichever month you start from) to the Beach, which is effectively outside of time. Up shot is it's always the same time of year on the Beach - except at Christmas. Think of it as being like Groundhog Day, only with camels instead of groundhogs. It's also a bit like The Restaurant at the End of the Universe in that respect, you can visit as often as you like without ever bumping into yourself because of the embarrassment that usually causes.

    Hope that helps. ;o) []

    Hmmm, malicious? Moi?

  14. At 03:27 PM on 15 Jun 2007, Big Sister wrote:

    "Perky on the Beach". Hmmm.

  15. At 04:53 PM on 15 Jun 2007, Electric Dragon wrote:

    Wonko (13) - the only problem with that is that it plays hob with your grammar. Or rather it will play...it will have been playing...it had will used to be going to play...it wioll haven en-play...ah, forget it.

  16. At 05:05 PM on 15 Jun 2007, Wonko wrote:

    Electric Dragon - that's true! That was true. That will be true. That used to will have been true... ah hum...

    ;o) []

  17. At 05:11 PM on 15 Jun 2007, Perky wrote:

    Bis Sister - apparently I'm Perky and Pinky . . . .

  18. At 05:22 PM on 15 Jun 2007, Frances O wrote:


    Well, that was what you were supposed to shout. Catch up, you lot.

    Hello, Sequin! Good to hear your dulcets again.

    Aniseed balls... and Crackerjack... oh, I feel the years falling off me. Splosh! Into a puddle. Think I'll leave them there. Just fish out the wisdom (?) and experience.

    Congratulations to Sarah. Many happy years to you both.

  19. At 06:10 PM on 15 Jun 2007, Product to Fifi Frog wrote:

    Someone, somewhere must be terribly constipated.

    Fifi got "that bitch" through yesterday.

  20. At 08:04 PM on 15 Jun 2007, Big Sister wrote:

    Perky: Do you need to raise the SP Factor for your sunblock, perchance? ;o)

  21. At 12:04 AM on 16 Jun 2007, Fifi wrote:

    Perky : You didn't touch wood, so I'm holding you personally responsible for all the wettity that's currently afflicting the nation.

    I have to be in Scotland tomorrow, on four wheels. I plan to drive up the Pennines, so the surplus water will be sloshing down the slopes to right and left...

    Product : Some expletives aren't so much an insult or a political comment as a statement of plain fact.

    Stick with me kid: I'm a copywriter. Where do you think all those straplines come from?


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