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We're complete professionals on PM

Eddie Mair | 10:11 UK time, Friday, 23 March 2007

as you are very well aware.

Last night though we (that's Rory the business chap, Vaughan the news chap and me) teetered on the edge for several moments. Rory said something in his piece about game machines which immediately struck Vaughan and I as funny - in a completely childish way. Helpfully, we disolved into silent giggles. When we finally arrived at a 13 second long piece of audio and we could all talk to each other, we pointed out to Rory what he'd said. Then HE dissolved.

Somehow he delved deep into his years of experience and managed to carry on without guffawing. But the suppressed laughter carried on, and as is so often the case when you can't do something, got worse.

We lived to tell the tale. Hope none of it showed on air. Will try to find the offending words and post them later. In the cold light of day I'm sure it will be gloriously unfunny.....


  1. At 10:28 AM on 23 Mar 2007, Fifi wrote:

    Rory's voice throughout sounded as if he'd found the whole 'testing the games out' assignment strangely hilarious. But didn't dare say why on a serious news programme.

    Now we know why.

    Thank you for sharing. Remind me never to work with you, Mister Mair!

    Fifi ;oD

  2. At 10:52 AM on 23 Mar 2007, witchiwoman wrote:

    I did notice a slight vibe of hilarity; but it made me smile too!

  3. At 11:05 AM on 23 Mar 2007, Big Sister wrote:

    Eddie: I'm sure there's a lot Paddy O'Connell could say on that particular subject, isn't there?

    Many moons ago, I was personal assistant to the Senior Partner in a firm of architects which had an impressive portfolio of industrial clients. One day the Managing Director of Carreras (the fag people) rang to make a major complaint about a problem on site, and I had to take the call. Unfortunately, during the course of that particularly difficult conversation, something happened in the office to cause me to dissolve in helpless (but silent) laughter, and I couldn't respond to his anger. I had to put the phone down, recover myself, and ring him back. I'm not sure to this day that he believed me when I told him we'd been cut off.

    Oh Eddie, how much worse for you and Vaughan. I wish I'd seen it on the webcam ..... Is the footage kept anywhere by any chance?

  4. At 11:05 AM on 23 Mar 2007, rory cellan-jones wrote:

    Glad to have made a splash on the programme - but what can you expect when a company decides that "wii" is a good name for a product? I was completely unconscious of my (freudian) slip until helpfully appraised of it during that short clip. I only managed to carry on by gritting my teeth, looking down, and avoiding Eddie's eyeline...

  5. At 11:24 AM on 23 Mar 2007, Susan Orty-Boyden wrote:

    Oh Eddie you are a scream.

  6. At 11:56 AM on 23 Mar 2007, Vyle Hernia wrote:

    I've heard about having to avoid Eddie's eyeline before. There was a programme about news readers awhile back, and one of them said Eddie's chuckles can make their job difficult.

  7. At 11:57 AM on 23 Mar 2007, unprofessional wrote:

    in a slightly less public forum, a fit of giggles: I worked in my twenties at a call centre for an organisation to provided educational travel programmes for the over-50's...these were often hosted at universities in the US, including, unfortunately, the University of the Pacific at Feather River...caller registered for a program there, I read back his booking to him, managing to combine the words Feather and Pacific..."thanks for calling...you are now booked in at the University of the Pathetic"...10 minutes of hysterics from me, stony silence from my caller....

  8. At 12:00 PM on 23 Mar 2007, Big Sister wrote:

    Rory: It's only their dirty minds. You're a true professional, and clearly more innocent that our Eddie and Vaughn.

    Thanks for explaining in your own words.

  9. At 12:16 PM on 23 Mar 2007, Fiona wrote:

    Oh please share it Eddie! What is life if you cannot laugh - humour is what keeps us going if it at times it's highly inappropriate.

    Years ago I was a supervisor of an Import dept for a very large courier company. Sometimes when preparing and signing import declarations we made mistakes which (accidentally) resulted in duty and vat being undeclared. If the underdeclaration was significant then HM Customs would haul you in for one of their "anything that you say may be taken down etc etc" interviews. One time I had to accompany one of my agents along with another as witnesses. Part of the grilling involved him telling the Customs officer his full name. His middle name and always been a well held secret until that point where he had to share it. When it was revealed the other witness and I just exchanged looks and then I was gripped with this hideously overwhelming need just to burst out laughing. It took ever ounce of my self control and me focussing really really hard on a radiator to stop myself - but it was the most uncomfortable 10 mins ever!! Oh and in case you are wondering I can't even remember the offending name - I dont think it was even that funny it was just the moment.

  10. At 02:10 PM on 23 Mar 2007, Perky wrote:

    Rory - it happens to us all - and Eddie more than most, I fear. The Wii has given my children many hours of enjoyment - we don't have one, they just like saying "Mummy, I really want a Wii". They are very easily entertained, as you can see.

    On a slightly more embarrassing note, I was giving instructions to the damp-proofing man yesterday on how to secure the house if he finished working before I got home. What I meant to say was "just slip the catch and pull the door behind you", but I got my Cs and Ss mixed up and ended up asking him to clip the s*atch. He hasn't really spoken to me since.....

  11. At 02:34 PM on 23 Mar 2007, Aperitif wrote:

    Unprofessional (7) Hahahahaha -- marvellous!

  12. At 03:23 PM on 23 Mar 2007, RJD wrote:

    Not strictly relevant to the discussion but I liked this bit from the Telegraph recently on the scrutiny that takes place when the proposed names for racehorses are submitted to the administration company, Weatherbys

    "Names containing Ophelia and Norfolk immediately attract closer scrutiny while automatic checks are conducted on what a name spells backwards — the Welsh-sounding Llamedos and Llareggub are among those names frequently tried and always rejected.

    Beau Lux Blair was another recent try-on.

    But some still slip through the net. The nod to rhyming slang in "Who Gives a Donald" went entirely unnoticed.

    The top naughtiest names rejected in 2006 included Betty Swallocks (spoonerism), Drew Peacock (too rude), Far Kinnel (obvious reasons), Noble Ox (would cause offence) and Wear the Fox Hat (too rude in Irish accent)."

    I'm not sure some of these haven't appeared on the blog!

  13. At 05:27 PM on 23 Mar 2007, Aperitif wrote:

    RJD, Hahaha, but how cruel! Fancy lumbering ones horses with such humiliating names! (This coming from a girl who has always wanted to call a cat "Roger"...)

  14. At 06:36 PM on 23 Mar 2007, Frances O wrote:

    What joy. As a sufferer from infectious gigglitis I do sympathise... but oh, Rory, how can you not make a Beau Lux when they choose to call something Wii... c-a-r-e-f-u-l choice of words.

    Luckily, many of us are silly and have slightly smutty minds, so it's OK.

    Could've been worse. Might've been an item about Friar Tuck.

    Was that funny in the Middle Ages??

  15. At 11:02 PM on 23 Mar 2007, Aperitif wrote:

    Am I really slow? I've only just noticed the spoonerism in Friar Tuck! After all these years!! Thank you Frances :-)

  16. At 01:55 PM on 24 Mar 2007, RJD wrote:

    Ap (13) - I feel that I'm being lured into a trap but I'll ask anyway - Why shouldn't you call a cat Roger?

  17. At 11:51 AM on 25 Mar 2007, RJD wrote:

    What happened to my comment about Ap's cat?

  18. At 12:10 PM on 25 Mar 2007, RJD wrote:

    Ap - I never believed your theory about the PUSH. But is seems you were right!

  19. At 12:36 PM on 25 Mar 2007, Aperitif wrote:

    No reason not to name it so, RJD, but if one has smutty neighbours calling it home could have dificult connotations: "Roger the cat! Roger the cat!"...

  20. At 01:00 PM on 25 Mar 2007, Aperitif wrote:

    RJD, O ye -- and Valery -- of little faith!

    Shouldn't you be painting right now?

  21. At 01:28 PM on 25 Mar 2007, RJD wrote:

    Ap - Painting is the easy bit. The key is in preparation!

  22. At 09:13 PM on 25 Mar 2007, Aperitif wrote:

    Which is best done whilst frogging, is it?...

  23. At 10:15 PM on 25 Mar 2007, Val P wrote:

    What are you painting? Btw - I found the glass ceiling and managed to get it onto Fl*kr at last.

  24. At 11:31 PM on 25 Mar 2007, Gossipmistress wrote:

    Hahaha! I can imagine the scene!

    Having heard the story, (and only just managed to listen to the prog) Rory's slight snigger at the beginning of his second bit of speech (after the clip) sounds a tad dangerous!

  25. At 06:21 AM on 26 Mar 2007, RJD wrote:

    Ap - One must leave time between the various stages, otherwise the final product is less than perfect.

    Val (Thelma or Louise) - We might have to find a separate site for all these ceiling photos. I'm also painting a ceiling!

  26. At 11:27 AM on 26 Mar 2007, RJD wrote:

    Going to test this theory again. PUSH!

  27. At 11:44 AM on 26 Mar 2007, RJD wrote:

    It works - it really works!

  28. At 11:49 AM on 26 Mar 2007, Aperitif wrote:

    I told you it worked! I'm not sure I want to be known for having started a trend of "pushing" on the blog though!

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