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This just in...

Eddie Mair | 13:51 UK time, Wednesday, 29 November 2006

spoke to Chris and it's Reindeer. Stand by.


  1. At 01:52 PM on 29 Nov 2006, Big Sister wrote:

    Its Santa!

  2. At 01:56 PM on 29 Nov 2006, Big Sister wrote:

    I meant, it's Santa!

    Don't want Lynn Truss on my tail. We had the same English teacher.

  3. At 01:57 PM on 29 Nov 2006, Stephen, Leader of STROP wrote:


    I hate to be the one to point this out, but it sounds from the above that Chris Jarvis is the happy father of reindeer.

    "Congratulations, Mr Jarvis. It's reindeer"

    Ho ho ho...

  4. At 01:58 PM on 29 Nov 2006, Richard Gosling wrote:

    For anyone not of a Python pursasion, confused by Eddie's sign-off today on the blog, check out http://www.humorlinks.com/python/sketches/fishlicense.htm

  5. At 01:58 PM on 29 Nov 2006, Santa Claus wrote:

    And I want them all back in working order. No feeding them mince pies, they will get enough of them in a few weeks.

    Can you check if Rudolph is down there - he was supposed to stay here, to help plan the route but I can't find him at the moment.

    S. C.

    By the way Eddie, have you been naughty or nice. I can't seem to find you on either list, and I've checked them twice!

  6. At 02:00 PM on 29 Nov 2006, ian wrote:

    Is this the weather forecast, dear?

  7. At 02:01 PM on 29 Nov 2006, Belinda wrote:

    Are the Reindeer doing their publicity tour before Christmas then?

  8. At 02:01 PM on 29 Nov 2006, Big Sister wrote:

    I think Eddie's getting his presents early.

  9. At 02:03 PM on 29 Nov 2006, Rufus T. Firefly wrote:


    Your'e just passing the buck!

  10. At 02:10 PM on 29 Nov 2006, Some Freak from the menagerie wrote:

    Dear Cyril

    Have just got the newsletter.

    Can you be said to be or not to be an entire bee?

    We all love you semi carnally

    The other half bee

  11. At 02:14 PM on 29 Nov 2006, Dr Hackenbush wrote:

    Q: What is Michael Winner’s favourite type of weather?

    A: It’s rain, dear.

    Now you know why I ‘work’ as a doctor, and not a gag writer

  12. At 02:24 PM on 29 Nov 2006, The Stainless Steel Cat wrote:

    Reindeer? Not a bee then?

    Can a bee, be said to be,
    Like the Pope, visiting Turkey?
    Or like a fat dog, eating too much tea,
    Or taking photos, on Tuesdee?

    Lah-dee-dee, one two three,
    Eric the half a bee,
    A, B, C, then M after P,
    Eric the half a bee...

    We love this presenter, employee,
    Of the famous B.B.C.
    Who's nearly as cute as little Fi,
    And much more than Sean Conneree
    It's Eric the half a bee!
    (The end)

  13. At 02:28 PM on 29 Nov 2006, Piper wrote:

    ...either that Big Sister 8, or he's in the present early...

  14. At 02:36 PM on 29 Nov 2006, Mr Foxtrot-Oscar wrote:

    Does anyone know if the London Wasp's Rugby Club have a 'B' team?

  15. At 02:37 PM on 29 Nov 2006, Big Sister wrote:


    Great stuff!

  16. At 02:38 PM on 29 Nov 2006, Aperitif wrote:

    Stephen (3), No you don't. And I'm glad you did - makes me feel less disturbed...

    Richard (4), Very helpful, thanks!

    Santa Claus (5), he's been naughty, but, in my opinion, not nearly naughty enough. I'm ready when he is though...

    Rufus (9), :-)

  17. At 02:51 PM on 29 Nov 2006, Piper wrote:

    Rufus 8, Dr hackenbush 11... very good indeed.

    I think you'd both do well in this competition:

    The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing of one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are last year's winners:

    1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

    2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

    3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

    4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

    5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

    6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

    7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

    8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

    9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

    10. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

    11. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

    12. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

    13. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

    14. Glibido: All talk and no action.

    15. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

    16. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

    17. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

    18. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating

  18. At 02:54 PM on 29 Nov 2006, Welsh wizard wrote:

    Mae reindeed i mewn 'r Cymraeg fynddoedd.

  19. At 02:59 PM on 29 Nov 2006, Dr Hackenbush wrote:

    P.S. I have just got back from watching Waldorf T Flywheel prosecuting a crown - something he showed a pitiful lack of ability to achieve....

  20. At 03:09 PM on 29 Nov 2006, Lissa, Master of the Blog wrote:

    HURRAH - the categories work.

  21. At 03:18 PM on 29 Nov 2006, HelenSparkles wrote:

    Thank you Eddie & Lissa for looking after us. X

  22. At 03:20 PM on 29 Nov 2006, Big Sister wrote:

    Oh, Dr. H, are you a Flywheel Shyster and Flywheel fan too?

    Does anybody know where recordings of the shows can be found? I taped a few (should I be saying this?) but sadly not all. We still laugh and laugh at them.

  23. At 03:30 PM on 29 Nov 2006, Fiona wrote:

    Richard (4) - you are a very bad man!! Was aware of the Python related sign off but not of the website you so kindly directed us to, and on which I have just spent a very enjoyable half an hour refreshing my memory on some of the real Python classic moments, when I am supposed to be working.....oops!!!! It doesn't take much to distract me!! Its now bookmarked for me to wander off to when I need a wee chuckle... thank you!

  24. At 03:38 PM on 29 Nov 2006, Big Sister wrote:

    Lissa, you are so so clever. And so well organised.

    What will you do with the threads which don't fit into those categories?

    I only ask ........

    Perhaps an index?

  25. At 04:05 PM on 29 Nov 2006, Rufus T. Firefly wrote:

    Piper (17)

    A great list. Thank you.

  26. At 04:06 PM on 29 Nov 2006, Dr Hackenbush wrote:

    (17) Piper:
    Thanks. A good friend sent me those only today.

    (20) Lissa:
    Good work. You will of course now be whipping the Tuesday newsletter paperboys (and/or papergirls) into action next.

    (22) Big Sister:
    Yes, how did you guess? The BBC released six episodes on audio tape. A well-known Electronic Auction site seems to have copies available at the moment - or indeed well-known Book Ordering site. I wonder if you have any of the episodes which were not available for sale, as I would like to hear more... There was also a book of the original scripts, by Mike Barson.

  27. At 04:38 PM on 29 Nov 2006, Big Sister wrote:

    Dr. H
    Will look out what I have and get back on that one.
    Are the tapes for sale any good? From what you say, I imagine they're incomplete ...

  28. At 05:11 PM on 29 Nov 2006, Dr Hackenbush wrote:

    Yes, they’re very good. Six complete episodes across two cassettes. I can describe more fully if it helps.

  29. At 05:38 PM on 29 Nov 2006, Big Sister wrote:

    Dr. H
    Let me look out what I've got and we can compare notes.
    I think they get repeated on Radio 7 sometimes, but I've never caught them since their original transmission.
    Nice to meet a fellow fan.

  30. At 05:48 PM on 29 Nov 2006, HelenSparkles wrote:

    Mr Foxtrot-Oscar (14)do you really want to know about rugby Teams? Why & why do I know such things, they have; a FIRST XV TEAM, a GUINNESS A TEAM (CALLED ZURICH A or the RESERVES in previous years), AND AN AMATEUR TEAM. They also have a LADIES 1XV & LADIES 2XV.

  31. At 06:10 PM on 29 Nov 2006, Aperitif wrote:

    HelenSparkles (30),

    Whilst your post was very informative it was not nearly as amusing as Mr Foxtrot Oscar's, I'm afraid...

  32. At 06:42 PM on 29 Nov 2006, HelenSparkles wrote:

    I'm very confused, being a bear with a very little brain, why was Mr Foxtrot Oscar funny? Did I miss something again?

  33. At 06:48 PM on 29 Nov 2006, Aperitif wrote:

    HelenSparkles (32),

    Wasps, Bees... what with Eddie's newsletter sign-off and the general theme it was chucklesome...

    But, as I said, you were much more informative :-)

  34. At 07:10 PM on 29 Nov 2006, HelenSparkles wrote:

    Thank Aperitif (33) but I feel only a bit less of a twit because I didn't get the newsletter today, for the first time ever, and only had half an ear tuned into PM tonight. I shan't dwell on it though! :-)

  35. At 07:31 PM on 29 Nov 2006, HelenSparkles wrote:

    BTW, did something happen to my newsletter, I am suspecting a consipiracy having only just about it never going AWOL from my inbox?!

  36. At 07:44 PM on 29 Nov 2006, HelenSparkles wrote:

    Ok it's a verbal thing, my beloved just asked me if wasps have a B team & I got it! At last huh.

  37. At 08:36 PM on 29 Nov 2006, HelenSparkles wrote:

    Ok it's a verbal thing, my beloved just asked me if wasps have a B team & I got it! At last huh.

  38. At 11:41 PM on 29 Nov 2006, Valery P wrote:

    No newsletter here either....just because I was praising you yesterday for sending it at lunchtime, 2 days in a row.

  39. At 11:48 PM on 29 Nov 2006, Deepthought (John W) wrote:

    HelenSparkles (36,37)

    Sadily, I noticed a very similar joke concerning american wasp specialists unable to indentify the buzzes, as they were listening to the "B" side - that was in New Scientist a few weeks ago.

  40. At 12:48 AM on 30 Nov 2006, Aperitif wrote:

    HelenSparkles, How come you know so much about this particular team anyway?

    DeepJohn, Listening to the B-side of what?

  41. At 01:23 AM on 30 Nov 2006, I. Straine wrote:

    I say you chaps!
    I once found myself eye to eye with a goat and noticed that its pupils were rectangular - two or three times wider than they were high.
    I can't tell from the photos whether reindeer pupils are round. Can anyone help?

  42. At 02:05 AM on 30 Nov 2006, Prof. S. R. Pedant wrote:

    I.S. (41)

    Yes, reindeer have rectangular pupils.
    Horizontal slit pupils are common to sheep, elk, red deer and, I believe, horses.

    Possibly something to do with improved peripheral vision to detect prdators.

  43. At 09:06 AM on 30 Nov 2006, Big Sister wrote:

    Prof: In the case of horses, the effect is only slight, their pupils being almost round. In goats it is quite pronouned, which makes them look so different.

    I'm sure your theory has a lot to do with it, and it certainly accounts for their eyes being set wider apart and to the side of their faces.

    As compared to the fox, wolf, dog, etc., i.e. the predators.

  44. At 12:02 PM on 30 Nov 2006, Prof. S. R. Pedant wrote:

    Big Sis (43)

    Thank you for the confirmation.
    My opinion of horses is that they are unpleasant at one end and dangerous at both.

  45. At 04:45 PM on 30 Nov 2006, Deepthought John W) wrote:

    Aperitif (40), "listening to the B side of a record [of American wasps buzzing]".

    'twas rather late when I started last night, the glass was neither half full, or half empty, but needed a good top-up.

  46. At 08:47 PM on 30 Nov 2006, Aperitif wrote:

    DeepJohn (45),

    Hope the glass is full and ready to go again now :-)

  47. At 09:26 PM on 30 Nov 2006, Aperitif wrote:

    I definitely posted something here - good wishes to Deepthroat Johnthought - but it must've offended someone as it hasn't shown up.

  48. At 11:41 PM on 30 Nov 2006, HelenSparkles wrote:

    Aperitif (40) because I am a Londoner who recieved it via osmosis from boy type people who were into Rugby. Useless all round usually, so you see I had to seize the moment, even though it revealed how slow I am to get a joke!

  49. At 12:18 AM on 01 Dec 2006, Aperitif wrote:

    HelenSparkles, not at all - I was impressed with the breadth of your knowledge.

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