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Stop Stalking Me - join the debate

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Caroline Mallan | 16:43 UK time, Monday, 24 January 2011

Imagine you were being constantly threatened and abused by someone who wouldn't leave you alone.

And no-one believed you.

Stalking affects an estimated two million people in Britain a year, most of them women.

In Stop Stalking Me, Panorama tells the extraordinary story of one woman who's been recording years of abuse -as it takes away her job, her home and her child.

We welcome your comments on this week's programme, please tell us what you think of this issue using this forum. If you or someone you know is affected by the issues raised, here is a list of useful resources.


  • Comment number 1.

    I watched the programme with a sick feeling because old as I am (63yrs) I have felt as helpless and alone and unbelieved in recent times by a husband who started within a week of marriage. I had been arrested because one of the things the stalker and controlling bully has in common is they are good liars and talking to male police they seem to get the pity and I came over as a neurotic mess. We divorced after 18 months over 3yrs ago and has he left me alone? HE BOUGHT THE PLACE NEXT DOOR TO ME 2YRS AGO.

  • Comment number 2.

    This programme rang a lot of bells for me. It was really harrowing to see the effects of this kind of behaviour on the screen. My friend has been the victim of this kind of behaviour for approximately 8 years. He's had property damaged and has been attacked,abused, etc, but the police seem unable to want to do anything about it. I've been attacked too because he saw me with my friend, then I was arrested for defending myself - the police didn't seem to want to listen. This guys behaviour is wrecking lives and no one is listening. Now i've seen this programme i wonder if they ever will

  • Comment number 3.

    That is disgusting what that person as too go through,but above all what is even more shocking is the response from the police and the stupid laws we have in this country, I must admit watching that as really shook me up and i can`t imagine what that poor girl is going through

  • Comment number 4.

    I now how this woman feels as i have been being stalker for the last 5 years by some i don't now i have moved 4 time thought him but always finds me it is more hard because i have a parter of 10 years with 2 kids and the stalker thinks my kids are his (they are not) i have been kidnapped with my baby that just one thing and i can say the police are still not doing everythink they could it has come to the point i can not go out on my own it is hard as my oldes child whats to now why i can not take him to school so hard so i now how that woman feels.

  • Comment number 5.

    at the moment i am going thru the same thing those women are.
    in oct 2009 i had a non molestation order served, that turned into a restraining order in jan 2010 by orders of a judge yet he was able to continue his behaviour until sept 2010. in that time he broke into my house several times, followed me, had other ppl watch etc. I had a panic button in my house, i ALMOST lost my job, my life turned into a prison.#police were good but each time he broke the order, a new officer would deal with the case and it became confusing keeping up with who was dealing with what. i live behind the police station, used my panic button and it still took the police almost 20minutes to get to me as they didnt even know why i had a button in the first place!!!
    my ordeal isnt over as HE is back in court monday but he has finally *after serving a prison sentence of 90days* been forbidden to come to the town i live in, so far it has worked.

    my heart goes out to anyone in that position, the police DO NOT take this seriously enough and I often felt like I wasnt being listened to, his word was taken over mine yet i was and remain to be the victim. stalkers are often given further opportunities to continue what they do to us due to the relaxed punishments given.
    police lose restraining orders, nothing is kept on pc *and why not???*
    each time stalkers step it up, push it a bit further and everytime the victim calls for help and nothing is done the stalker will be back but this time with a harsher punishment for the victim !!!
    I cant recall how many times i was told *told us as he will be kept on remand for breaking the order* and when i did call, they would take him, release him and let the whole cycle become again!
    for almost 2years i have had no life, have lost those precious years of my children growing up, how much more do we have to sustain

  • Comment number 6.

    Nothing in your programme surprised me, experienced very similar issues. The Police told me "nothing ever becomes of harrasment cases, CPS reject them". It's not that the woman wasn't beleived it's just that the police could make a "watertight" case against her and secure a conviction. The woman concerned has my upmost sympathy and 100% did the right thing by moving. Don't rely on the police or our broken criminal justice system, rely on your own instinct.

    I hope you find peace.

  • Comment number 7.

    4 people to blame: 1) the perpetrator 2) the police 3) the cps 4)the judges at court.
    I feel for that poor girl, I'm in a near identical position, and I live in 'enlightened london'. My ex has waged a hate campaign on me for the past 2 years, our 5yr old daughter is caught in the cross fire,and the apathy and stupidity of the police is frightening. We are both frightened. Every time i've reported him breaching the non mol order,IF they arrest him he just gets off.Every time I report something they treat it as a separate incident,not a catalogue of harassment.They told me to install cctv, i did, and the cps said the footage wasnt good enough.bt traced his nuisance calls,and they failed to follow it up.They told me to move away, away from my home town where I was born,away from my work,my friends and relatives.I recorded him screaming ''you're effing dead'' they said that wasn't a death threat to me as he hadn't used my name... none of us can ignore this issue, it could be you next, or your mum,sister, or daughter. i'm at my wits end and i don't have a life any more.niether does my poor litle girl coz we're too afraid to even walk down our street

  • Comment number 8.

    and janet, my heart goes out to you. i agree with you 100%. it's all about their rights of freedom etc. what about ours? While my ex is free to do as he pleases, no woman in this country is safe. I was told that the magistrate's duty is to impose the minimum sentence they can for the crime committed, and to avoid custodial sentences.after all,we all know the prisons are overcrowded.

  • Comment number 9.

    This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the house rules. Explain.

  • Comment number 10.

    Janet again who's stalking ex has moved next door. I am horrified at what I am reading because I've felt very alone in my problem but it is nowhere as bad as the other comments coming in. How helpless you must feel and scared. My heart goes out to you all. It is a condition that stays with these men forever. My ex husband's first wife over 40yrs ago had to get an injuction against him and 2nd wife and previous girlfriends (bought a house opposite the last girlfriend before he met me)have all been stalked by him and warned me of his behaviour. Like a fool I thought that in his late years he'll be 67yrs this year he would have changed. But NO! Perhaps the police and courts should make a note. It seems that the behaviour is with them forever. It should be taken more seriously by the police. It's a sign of unstable mind surely??

  • Comment number 11.

    This kind of thing just doesn't affect women, it affects some men too. I felt that we were not believed because we were men and should be able to deal with this. No one should be expected to. If you are being harrassed or intimidated in this manner you should be helped. What is it going to take to stop this - another body bag?

  • Comment number 12.

    My Name is Linda...I was let down by the Lancashire police over 40 years ago. An ex boy friend stalked me for a year. I was a single mother at the time with three children. The Rochdale paper headline was ;Rochdale woman stabs man. I was in Manchester crown court charged with Actual grevous bodily harm;which carried a ten year sentence. The court case lasted 5 minutes ;verdict Self defence. I was pregnant..suicidal and a mental mess. My children had been through hell with me; seeing me beaten and worse. For over 12 months ths Police did nothing! The man that stalked me was given 2years suspended sentence.. He died a year later..It was the only thing that stopped him. My doctor would not terminate the pregnancy. I gave birth to a baby boy. Something must change the law does not protect the victims..

  • Comment number 13.

    Janet again. Oh Linda how awful for you. In my short marriage it was the mental torture, mind games, cruelty, other women and contol and bullying that shocked me so. I was lucky because he used the word divorce to me as a way of keeping me under control. Thought I'd stay out of fear like his other women. He signed the forms thinking I would beg him to stay. I ran! But like all of these men who need to control he has got to me by living next door. I'm hoping that his life spam may not be that long and then I can feel free in spirit. I hate knowing he is next door and I do have to be polite to him or else the nastiness starts and I feel trapped in that bludgeioning world he creates. He makes sure he turns up on my doorstep every day and uses seeing the dogs as an excuse. Neighbours see it as romantic because he tells them he loves me and would like to marry me again. Me and his other exe's know the truth. I do get depressed and cry sometimes over it. One thing I need to know is do any other's out there feel frustrated because the abuser comes over so 'nice' and charming to outsiders?

  • Comment number 14.

    dear janet, most of them are 'nice and charming' to outsiders. in fact, you start off believing it IS you that turns them into the raging psychotic evil monsters some of them are. and yes, they are accomplished liars, and it beggars belief that the police often believe their version of events. before I met my ex, I would read about these cases, tut in sympathy, but think 'why dont you move to get away from it?' now i know it really isn't that simple. I truly wish I could offer you some words of hope or comfort, but I have lost all faith in the police and justice system, and I know how much the prolonged abuse wears down your confidence and self believe, and you just end up a hollow shell devoid of hope and happiness. I wish you well, Janet x

  • Comment number 15.

    Well done for highlighting this awful problem. Laws need to be changed as the victims lives are ruined by these predators. I can only imagine the horror of what this poor woman has gone through. I have an ex that I havent spoken to or communicated with since 2003 who constantly texts me. He has not threatened, been violent or broken in. It does affect you, you feel you have no privacy, you end up not wanting to have any kind of relationship - you might put that new person at risk, or they might turn into another stalker. Sometimes a potential partner runs away at the thought of dealing with 'your' problem. And if you live alone, the stalker feels more able to continue. They know the laws are weak, police powerless, and are generally accomplished liars able to talk their way out of their behaviour being wrong. When someone says no, it should mean no, and the law should be able to help.

  • Comment number 16.

    Dear EVERYBODY who has commented on this site.

    I am "EVE" - the lady in the programme.

    Obviousuly I have to be careful about what I write hear but can say that when Panorama got in touch with me I had to think very hard as I am still actually in hiding from this pyschopath. Pan were horrified at the extent stalkers affect everyday peoples lives. In a half hour programme it is difficult to get over the problems we face & cannot fit in the extreme measures we take & the fear & frustrations we go through TO TRY & PROTECT OURSELVES & OUR FAMILIES. But I think they have done an excellent job for our plight to lead normal lives.


    Thank you so much for your concerns, it has touched me so much & I hope you all the best too.


  • Comment number 17.

    Eve, can I just say that I thought you were very brave allowing Panorama such access to your situation? I hope some good comes of it. Lancashire Police need to grow a backbone and soon. And that unfair conviction needs to be struck from your record.

    And can I say to "Mike" and indeed any other stalkers reading this, don't you think it's time you got some perspective and grew up? You try and make your victims weak, but it's you who are the sad, pathetic individuals who just can't handle the fact that your ex-partners have discovered the real you and don't like what they've found. So what's the matter? Can't you handle rejection? Does it make you want to spit out your dummy, throw your toys out of your pram and scream for your mummy? I've met people like you who have harassed the women in my life, I've dealt with people with you and unlike Eve, I don't have a unfair criminal record to show for it.

  • Comment number 18.


    And also maybe now the POLICE will listen, because this is a huge crime and huge harm. They need to stop sympathising with stalkers and start hearing what the women are saying. It's a disgrace that only 12 police forces have applied the guidelines. What about the rest? This is URGENT. We are talking about total destruction of up to 2 million people's lives and possible MURDER, just out of sheer vicious spite.

    Well done Eve not just for going to Panorama, but also doing that brilliant recording and taping. I know it's so hard, but I'm glad you did it - it took a huge amount of courage, but it's told the story to the whole country now. You need that unfair conviction overturned and I hope he goes down for a long time. After all, there was a lad sentenced this week to 32 months and a lifetime criminal record just for throwing a fire extinguisher off a roof, so we can hope "Mike" gets more. If you start a page on Facebook about this programme, lots of people can support you and come to the hearing and that might help?

    Good luck xxx

  • Comment number 19.

    l watched last nights panorama program with horror, l was stalked and harrassed for over 7 years by a neighbour who wanted to control the road l lived in. l was not the only person subjected to this behaviour in the road (which is still occuring). my self, husband,children,grandchildren and friends also suffered when they visited.This man in his 60's would wait daily for us to come out of our homes then subject us to abuse, he would also follow us about,wait outside our homes, send unsavoury people to threaten us and phone the police with wild accusations so we were constantly having to explain ourselves to the police. He was convicted of harrasment and given a 10 year asbo, on the same day he got his asbo he came home from court and caused chaos in the road.Things got so bad that l eventually would not go out unless nessassary, the last straw for us was when l was called into the police station to be interviewed on tape because this man and his witnesses (his paid buddies)said l had been abusing,swearing and threatening him near his house.We had all been above reproach, not taking any type of reprisals on this man at all. He would phone the police about 30 times a day over a number of years complaining obout the residents.The police were always in the street but surprise surprise !could never catch him .This man chased young boys with a carving Knife (still on his asbo) confessed and got off again. He has been to court so many times, comes back home and starts again the very same day. We decided to sell up and move home, this had to be done in secret, so over a number of months we moved everything out and sneaked off without anyone knowing because we were so worried about him following us.We dare not contact old friends or neighbours for fear he will find us. We also lost a lot of money on our house because you have to tell prospective buyers of the problem verbally and through solicitors. l still look over my shoulder but hopefully we are far enough away now to enjoy our life.

  • Comment number 20.

    Well done to Panorama for bringing Stalking/Harassment to the public's attention. My experience lasted 4 years but seems to have died down recently after an arrest was made. At the time it started I was a single female living alone. I was being called (withheld numbers or PAYG unregistered mobile phones) at all times of the day and night (but no-one ever said anything), sent abusive texts, I received bizare packages, my parents and neighbours received notes, my name and address was stuck in phoneboxes and in public areas, and had eggs thrown at my property. Even my (elderly) parents were getting silent calls in the middle of the night! Everything was anonymous, so although I ‘thought’ I knew where it was coming from, I was never sure, which made it even more scary as I didn’t know who was ‘watching’ me. I had to change my phone numbers - except for one which was business related, so for that I had to resort to blocking all texts and never actually answering any of the calls, having to phone back genuine enquiries instead!

    Being a victim of stalking means you have no control over when, where and how a person can harass you, and it is that which eventually wears you down, coupled with the fear of not knowing exactly how unbalanced the stalker is and how far they are prepared to go. You find yourself being hyper aware, and always looking over your shoulder wondering if you are being followed, and jumping every time the phone rings or a letter arrives on your doormat! I was often trying to put myself in the mind of the 'stalker', but a normal person just can't understand the thought processes of these people. The police were ok and did what they could, but I don’t believe the problem is entirely police related – their hands are tied by UK law, and they can only prosecute if they have hard evidence relating to someone doing the stalking. So the victim has to take it on themselves to find that evidence.

    I installed a CCTV camera… and caught the person in question ‘egging’ my house. She got off with a ‘caution’ as it was a first offence, and even though I had a spreadsheet with EVERYTHING that had happened (dates, times, etc), because the ‘egging video’ was the only evidence, this was all that was taken into consideration. And the harassment continued. Last year the police re-examined packages and letters and this time found a fingerprint (that had been missed on previous forensic examination - so I was not impressed with that), and re-arrested this woman. However, because the fingerprint belonged to a package that was sent to me more than 6 months previously, the police could not prosecute – even though the harassment was still ongoing! Apparently in harassment cases, the hard evidence has to be less than 6 months old! How ridiculous is that! It takes up to 12 weeks to get some of the results back from forensics!

    So, the things I would like to see changed is 1) more police awareness, 2) change to this ridiculous 6 month evidence law, and 3) change the telephone laws – police had their hands tied re tracing calls to my phones (all to do with data protection), and it appears people can just buy pay as you go mobile sim cards, not register them, and then make as many calls/send as many abusive texts as they like, and the police cannot do a thing about it!!

  • Comment number 21.

    I am really glad that panorama did such an interesting feature on stalking and harassment, but I found myself screeming at the TV with frustration that NOT ONCE the term Domestic Violence or Domestic Abuse was used! Eve had been in a relationship with 'Mike' that had already been violent and the stalking started when she ended the relationship. Stalking here has to be seen in the context of domestic abues!!
    I am working for a Domestic Abuse Service in Devon and come accross stories like Eve's and of everyone who has posted here on a daily bases. Unfortunately Domestic Abuse is still a hidden crime and is often not named (and shamed). We need to name it when ever we can so that awareness is being raised, the general public is being educated and the stigma is being taken away!! Stalking and harassment makes up a significant part of Domestic Abuse and is one of the very concerning risk indicators that flag up that the individual experiencing it needs urgent support, advice and safety planning.
    Please Panorama, can you in future name the crime as what it is or even make a comment on your next feature with the link to the national domestic abuse help line - 0800 2000 247.
    Our domestic abuse services in Devon are currently at threat of losing some or the entire funding from the local authority and in this current climate we need to make double sure that everyone out there knows what Domestic Abuse, Stalking and harrassment and Sexual Abuse means and how it affects the individual who is experiencing it!
    Thank you!

  • Comment number 22.

    Having been the victim of an ex boyfriend's persistent harrassment, although not as extreme as many women suffer, I hope the Panorama programme highlights how stalking behaviour affects its victims both physically and physchologically.

    When discovering that my boyfriend had been seeing various other women whilst with me, I finished the relationship. He harrassed me continually, and also one of the other women. We were our own support to each other during this time. The Police did initially respond to my 999 call, however the times I contacted them with evidence of texts and e'mails to both my personal and work addresses, I had to repeat the history and each time I felt I had to justify my postion. When asking the Police if this was harrassment the reply was 'do you think it is'? Eventually it stopped, however, I still feel that I am being followed, I still look behind me and still check cars in my rear view mirror.
    This man was professional, intelligent, manipulative and, worryingly, extremely reasonable with the police on an occasion when they responded to a 999 call. It is no wonder that the Police believe an approachable, articulate and responsive man rather than a scared woman.

  • Comment number 23.

    I work with victims of domestic abuse and as such have worked with many victims who have suffered and continue to suffer from the devastatinbg effects of stalking.
    Stalking is often perpetrated by estranged partners following separation and is part of the wide spectrum of domestic violence and abuse.
    Although I am very pleased that the subject of stalking has been raised in the programme I am also deeply disappointed that you have not included in your list of useful resources any reference to domestic abuse helplines or organisations.

  • Comment number 24.

    As I am a support worker for survivors of domestic abuse I am pleased that the devastating effects that stalking and harrassment have are being raised in the media, however, I am really concerned that Domestic abuse was not mentioned - we need to be naming it!! The BBC had a fantastic opportunity to raise the profile of DV services and to raise awareness of Domestic abuse but they missed this, Specialist DV helpline numbers could have been made available too. For anyone experiencing Stalking and harrasment- I would urge you to get intouch with Domestic violence support service.

  • Comment number 25.

    For Eve, I hope everything works out for you in the end. I know you will never forget what you have been through, but I hope that one day you will be able to go out and relax without constantly having to look over your shoulder.

    For Panorama, I have to thank you for bring this issue to the attention of many. The more people that are aware of what stalking can do to people, the more likely that something will get done about it. However, I truly am shocked and appauled that nothing has changed in 10 years! I have no faith in the police when comes to dealing with stalking, as they really do not understand how important it is to stop it early. The constant lack of response from the police just reinforces the stalker's behaviour and gives them more power over their victims.

    I entered a relationship with someone over 10 years ago and thought everything was perfectly normal, only to realise that our initial meeting had in fact all been pre-organised and it was only a matter of time that they would get what they wanted. As their personality changed, I realised it was time to end this relationship and the stalking began. I would get followed on public transport, visiting family and even to work. They would sit outside my home all night and constantly ring the telephone. I would get random messages any time of the day or night, telling me exactly what I was doing and I could not see them anywhere. They even threatened to commit suicide to the police (long after we had split up) and said that they lived at my home, so the police force me to take them in for the night, as they were a risk "to themselves". As soon as the door was shut and the police had gone, they showed their true colours again!

    I tried getting a re-straining order, after countless calls to the police, but I was advised by my solicitor that stalkers rarely pay any attention to them and I should avoid reacting to any of their advances, as it is often the victims that end up getting prosecuted for assault when they try to defend themselves. That for me was the straw that broke the camels back. I refused to let them destroy my life, especially as they had decided to start including some of my friends and family in their list of victims to harass. I therefore had to contact all my friends and family and told them that I would be busy with work, so could not contact them much over the coming year. I then had a valid excuse not to visit anyone, so my friends and family did not worry about me. This was really important, as I then only had myself to worry about. After that it was quite simple I had to change my telephone number, moved home 3 times within a year so that they lost track of me and changed jobs and career. It may sound extreme, however, if you have ever been stalked you will understand how hard it is to break free.

    I am safe now and I will never look back, but I am now very cautious about who I give my personal information to and who I invite into my home. I will never forget what another human being is capable of and how impossible it is to get the support you need to protect yourself.

  • Comment number 26.

    Hi Janet, And everyone who posted a comment. Linda here again and
    I just wanted to say that a few years after the nightmare my life did change. I found the strengh to trust again and I have a lovely family.
    I would not be crushed by a coward...I now realise after all these years I blamed myself because he was not a complete stranger; he was someone I knew...My children are now grownup and there are no secrets they know everything.
    I applaud you Eve..I do not know what to say to you except in the end I leaned on family and friends. You have helped me more than you know. I for one I cannot thank you enough.

  • Comment number 27.

    If a facebook page was ceated by Eve (as she is going through this stalking) I would give my support as I have been there. It appears little has changed since it happened to me. LINDA.

  • Comment number 28.

    Hi, I felt this program was quite distressing and made me very angry. I can only imagine how terrible it must be for the women suffering this sort of abuse. It is clear that the police don't really understand the issues, and certainly don't act appropriately for the protection of the poor people being stalked. However, I think the program missed a very important factor, in that it didn't address *why* the stalkers behave in this way. It was clear that the sentences being given were in no way adequate, but I think that even if they were more severe, only incarceration would stop the stalker.

    The reason that the stalkers behave in this way, is because they are mentally ill, and obsessed and compelled to act in this way. What is needed, is that their behaviour is identified early, and then they are compelled to undergo some form of treatment to address their obsessive behaviour. Treating it purely as a criminal problem to be dealt with by the police and the courts is a massive mistake, since even a short period on incarceration might merely intensify the feelings of rage felt by the offender and cause them to escalate their stalking upon their release, so it very important that the mental state of the offender is considered to be central at every stage. This makes it problematic, since if they are caught early enough, their behaviour would not be severe enough to merit a long custodial sentence, but a shorter sentence might actually make them more violent upon their release.

    Perhaps having them agreeing to a voluntary period of residential care to address their behaviour early on might be a necessary condition for them to remain at liberty. But we have to understand, that with many forms of mental illness, the threat of incarceration is often not a meaningful deterrent since their behaviour is driven by mental illness and they are not rational. We should perhaps treat it more as a serious and dangerous mental health issue, and deal with the offenders with a lower burden of proof, more akin to the way we deal with violent schizophrenics rather than like a problem of violent criminals.

  • Comment number 29.

    I've been subjected to Police Abuse of the Stalking Laws, my only crime was picking up my daughter for her normal weekend away which turn into a Nightmere of hell and before I knew It prosecuted for Harrassment and Stalking, it do's not help with the Ex sleeping with a B... Copper from Bucks area who wanted me out the way and for the last 6 years I averge being arrested at least 3 times a year Police have Bull..... The IPCC ,

    The Stalking Laws are complety Abused By Thames Valley Police its easy to prosecute that find a solution.

    Restraing Orders are not worth the Paper its written on.

    Punishement level should reviewed,

    I've become the VIctum and regardless to the evidance I have and shown to the Police they still fail to arrest and convict her.

    Thousand's of non violent / non Abusive Fathers are criminalised and prosecuted for stalking and Harrasement just for simply knocking on the door to take their children away for the weekend ect....

    Those Women who have been stalk from ex abusive partners I feel for and they should be protected but please note men do go through the same termoil who looks after us , not the Police or Courts.

    In 2004 2 million reported incidents from males where reported to the Police in regards ex partners who where abusive / Violent / Harrased and Stalk and caused criminal dameged,unfortunately 12 males where murdered and they were non - violent human being This proggrame was made by CH4 Tv.

    There's is always 2 side's to a story BBC needs to interview Males who have been subjected to Stalking and Harrassment and Police Failure's.

    As it stands from a male perspective this programme is a one sided story and BBC Policy is meant to be balanced and fair.

  • Comment number 30.

    l have to make a comment on MVM's report,lunderstand his plight and am sorry he is not able to have a normal(as is possible) relationship with his daughter. My point is that the police, cps & judges all put this sort of behaviour down to mental illness but this is what the perpetrators want them to think. The person that stalked me,my family and neighbours used every trick in the book, he knew how to work the system and continuosly told us so.He would pay other men to do his dirty deeds while he stood back to watch.The police could not touch him even though they knew what he was doing.There were many incidents that were just not recorded by the police and it seemed that the law cherry picked incidents that they were sure to win. This person was actually caught red handed by the police carrying and threatening with an offensive weapon but the courts sent him home with an order to see a psychiatrist,
    as soon as he got home he warned us all that we were going to pay for taking him to court but the police could do nothing as none of us had a witness as he told us all seperately. Now l call that being clever not mentally ill. This panorama programme bought back terrible memmories (it has been just a few months since we escaped) and l just want to say well done to Eve for being so brave and l feel for all the others including MVM who have had to suffer this way.

  • Comment number 31.

    Hi, my name is zoe and i am 21 years old.

    May i just say THANK YOU!!! sincerly to Eve for helping me realise i am not alone.

    I have been in fear for almost 3 years although mine is in different cercumstances as mine is not my ex or a stranger it is actually the father of the lad who sexually abused me when i was 10 years of age the lad was 12 at the time.

    The police in lancashire treated my stalkers actions as practically nothing when i gave my first statement although they did go and speak to him and he did leave me alone for a short while but as stalkers do they never fully give up and he did start up again.

    I got back in touch with the police and made a statement and told them he had been spoken to on a previous occassion the police officer then went back to the station to read the back story of the case and informed me that there was no record of me ever making a statement apparently they were renewing the system and alot of files had gone missing.

    After a few more statements that both me and my mum gave he was warned under the harassment act. Again he left me alone but not for long he started again. After a few more statements again from me and mum he was arrested but was released through lack of evidence.

    I rang the police to speak to a senior officer to ask what kind of evidence they needed and was told video and photographic but it wouldn't be admissable in court because of the possibility of fabrication. This shocked me but the worst is yet to come as the officer had spoken to the interviewing officer and was told the suspect had said during the interview that if I carry on with the accusations i will be getting done for harassing him. After hearing this I was filled with anger and fear, but then after hearing the next thing my heart totally sank, The senior officer told me NOT TO CONTACT THE POLICE UNLESS I HAD CONCRETE PROOF, now as I have already said even if I had proof it would not be admissable.

    For the past 8 months me and my mum have been living with the curtains shut and i make sure the house is totally secure. since the police officer told me not to contact them me and my mum have tried to get moved by the council but they are dragging there heals and say we are not at risk.


    I rarely go out as my stalker lives round the corner but again I would just like to say another big thank you to Eve.


  • Comment number 32.

    thank you eve for being brave enough to make this.

    I have been being stalked, harrassed, asaulted and suffering disability hatred by my meighbour who lives upstairs for 9 months. i finaly gave my statement yesterdsay after begging to make one for months ( i had to do it by video as im a vulneralbe adult.) and the police have done nothing, and will not charge him. he lurks in the hall vor 6 hrs a day, blocks me from enhering or leaving my flat and enforces frottage when he blocks me, has harrassed all my friends so nooone will visit me, he has harrassed my carers and they now have to come in 2s for safety. he hides in basement flat steps of neighbours to stalk me .. he has told my disability benefits im faraudulently claiming and im now being investigated. He has pending racial assault charges and cautions , he is in his 60s and known to the police but they always belive him.
    He has accused me of receiving class a drugs from postie, that im an arsonist, he verbally abuses me constantly, he keeps logs of my sleep/wke. in/ out / times of carers etc, this is torture.

    He believes deludedly he was my carer and i rejected him when i got carers and that he would mke me pay for this. and that his friend died and he told me he will make me pay for his pain
    hes broken my lock, come in to my flat and sexually assaulted me... ans the police do nothing and say its my word against his. im at my wits end and have taken 5 suicide attemts cos of this. i already have ptsd as i was stalked 20 years agoby an ex and had to change my name, and have had other truama, why is the 1997 harrassment act in existance of the dont use it?

    my life is hard enough being ill with m.e and arthritis but this man has shrunk it down to a dot, and im a prisoner here.
    Police say no witnesses but i have plenty of witnesss including carers but they refuse to take their statemnts. he assaulted me last week and got sent back here , no charge. I even taped the assault on my dictaphone but as it wasnt audeo they dont see it as evidence.I'm begging for cctv in the hall but nope.

    I have more than 40 crime nos but i get a uselss pc who sees it as a begign single incident and not as a harrassment case.
    I have been told i have a marker on my house for quick responce, but he even involved his friend to threaten rape at my wndow and the police took 14 hours to arrive and no charge even thpo the man admitted he threatened rape. i cannot take this any more. bluebell

  • Comment number 33.

    Why has my comment of the 24th Jan been under consideration for nearly 3 weeks?
    Just curious.
    By the way, link missed off your website:

  • Comment number 34.

    I was a victim of illegal eviction in 2009.I immeadiately sought legal advice and have done everything by the book.
    The landlord held all my wordly goods to ransom n when i finally got them back everything was destroyed and much missing.
    He has contacted family and friend members giving them abuse.
    It all went quiet for a year but recently my barrister completed my case
    and the papers were sent to him,and today out of the blue i recieved notification that he has contacted the estate agents who rent this house and bad mouthed me telling lies,he also contacted my solicitors demanding my address.
    I have no idea how hes found me as im not on the tenancy or on the electoral roll but im now scared for my children and my own safety..
    Is his behaviour regarded as harrassment???????


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