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The PA - Disabled Person Relationship

Nicola | 21:12 UK time, Tuesday, 7 August 2007

The exchange below is based on bits of conversations with my new PA, it is, I feel, the very spirit of Independent Living. Or not.

Before you say anything, I don't actually call them PA. Nor have i chucked metal objects at them. Yet.

PA: Where's your metal cutlery holding thingy?

Me: Aw, my mum coerced me into buying it on our start-of-term ikea trip. I never liked it, I could have bought swedish meatballs for that money.

PA: That doesn't explain why yesterday it was draining your forks and today it's gone.

Me: Listen, PA, I'll be straight with you: I've hidden it.

PA: Hidden it?

Me: Yeah, it's out of my reach on the sink like that, out of my reach to grab knives for impromtue late night cheese eating anyway. If I hide it y'all can't put stuff in it.

PA: You could have just told me to dry the cutlery and put it in the cuboard.

Me: Yeeeeah but then I'd have to tell all three of you, and I can't be arsed. Yeah, you are tea-cooking PA, monday-sunday, and darn good you are too, but what with the cheese eating n'all, morning PAs wash up too.

[Pause for breath]

Me: I'd rather remove all possibility of you using cutlery thingy than say, on an off day, be tempted to throw a fork at you for using it by accident because it was still on the draining board. It was starting to truly annoy me. More than Sarah Beeney, and I hate Sarah Beeney.

PA: Who?

Me: Propety show presenter, wonky tits, in my opinion.

PA: I don't have a TV in this country, your TV licence is stupid [PA is American]

Me: Not as stupid as having your news reports written by Disney...

(carries on until roughly 7pm)


Wow, I wish I could talk to my (8 or 9) PA's this way. But I am still in the terrified stage that if I irk them then they will keep leaving my meals just out of reach.

  • 2.
  • At 10:49 PM on 07 Aug 2007, Nicola wrote:

i wasn't irking her, least i hope i wasn't. i did err...embellish a bit too. tongue was in the cheek for ooooh...half of it. :-)

that said, its pretty close to the truth sometimes. just not normally so soon after they've started. but this girl 'got' me quite quickly, her application email made me laugh. in the good way.

i can't talk to all of them like that because they're all different.

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