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My Cane Gets Me Phone Numbers!

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Zephyr | 09:09 UK time, Wednesday, 29 August 2007

I've been bellyaching for a while because I don't have any devotees. It often seems like every other disabled person but me has a story about being pursued by an over-eager devotee. Most PWDs would rather ride their wheelchairs over broken glass than date a devotee. I, on the other hand, am completely curious about the phenomenon. As someone who respects fetishes, and has one or two herself, I'm completely open to the idea of meeting, and possibly dating, a devotee.

For those of you not in the know, a devotee is a person who is attracted to people with disabilities, often to the point of fetishism. Disability becomes a turn-on, instead of a turn-off. According to Wikipedia, for every disability there is a devotee somewhere! I find it hard to believe that someone would fetishize arthritis, but it's a weird and wonderful world.

Even if I'm not interested in a particular devotee, I'd love to pick his (I think most devs are male) brains about why he's so turned on my crip chicks. Is it because they perceive us as helpless, passive and dependent, in need of a big strong man to take care of us? Do they admire us for being brave and heroic? Are they just aroused because seeing a girl with a cane or scooter is different, much like a girl who wears glasses or has pink hair? Do they get off on the 'freak' factor, as if dating us is taboo and forbidden? The amateur sexologist within me really wants to know!

I'm wondering now if I have been attracting a few potential devotees lately. In the last month, I've had three men ask me if I need help crossing the road at an intersection. It's always men, in their 20s and 30s. I always say no thanks, but maybe I should ask them why they ask. Do I look like I need the help, or do they have a secret agenda?

The prize goes to the man who tried to pick me up at the pharmacy by complimenting my cane. He segued from "Nice cane. Where did you get it?" to talking about his business, and how he's in town for a week and would love some company. I was amazed at his chutzpah and smoothness. I have to say, if people are going to use my cane to pick me up, I'm all for it. Instead of people refusing to date me because of my disability, people are using my disability as an opening to flirt with me! That's more like it!

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Totally wierd. You learn something new every day.

Congrats on your first official devotee (the thing which first attracted him was your cane....and he's SOOOOO lonely).

And if you get those answers, please send me a copy - did you know the manager of the largest and longest running pay-per view devotee site is in BC? Woohoo, Canada is finally number 1 in something.

  • 3.
  • At 12:48 AM on 30 Aug 2007, Brenda B wrote:

I don't think being a devotee and being a fetishist is necessarily the same thing. Devotees often do not want anything to do with the REAL person who is "attached" to the fetish that they have. I can have a shoe fetish and that means I get hot over the object no matter if it is being worn by someone or not. A devotee is fetishizing a human being and not an object... but in that fetishization they are reducing and objectifying the person. When fetishistic behaviour reduces people then it is a problem; when it enriches, then it is hot. Watch out!

  • 4.
  • At 09:59 AM on 31 Aug 2007, Joyce wrote:

Devotees on the Internet

A devotee will not care about you, your character, or what you are interested in.

Be advised many devotees "hang-out" at the pen pal disability sites. When a devotee begins writing you even if he has not seen a photo of you but knows of your disability from your profile, he/she will still tell you how much they think your body is beautiful as it is. They will ask you to describe what your body looks like in the area that it is disabled, and they will ask for photos showing your disabled parts, no face required unless it appears to be disabled also. They will be suggestive as to make you think of your disabled body in sensual terms, hoping that you will relay those concepts back to them in your descriptions of yourself. Some may even claim to have the same disability as you, to get you to openly describe your limitations, your appearance, and lack of function. Some may claim to be male to one person and female to another person; it depends on whom he/she is trying to correspond with based off of the profiles that people leave on disability pen pal sites.

I think one must degrade herself/himself to date a known devotee since a devotee only wants you for your disability, not you personally. They may not even be interested in meeting you, but rather they just want detailed descriptions of your body's condition since that is what turns them on. The sexual gratification they can do on themselves, they don’t need you.

Perhaps your blog will get you the solicitations that you are asking for, but I think you did not realise what it was that you were asking for.

Joyce - I like to keep an open mind. Plus, as I posted, I am *curious* about the phenomenon. Having never experienced it firsthand, I'd like to meet some devotees and talk to them about it. It's the amateur sexologist within me. I have to know all about mysterious fetishes, even the ones I don't like.

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