New Ms Wheelchair America announced
I know it's been on the minds of Ouch readers everywhere, since the scandal of the Ms Wheelchair America beauty pageant a few months back, when it was revealed that the holder of the title could stand and walk for short periods of time - shock! Horror! - so I'm pleased to be able to inform you all that the competition has finally crowned a new winner. She's called Kristen Connors, and she's from Rhode Island Which is nice.
But I know what you're wondering - you're wondering what happened to Janeal Lee, the Ms Winconsin who was stripped of the title when a photograph of her standing up appeared in a local newspaper, aren't you? Well, fear not my little Ouchies, because she was given the title of Miss disAbility International. Not to be confused with Ms Wheelchair America, this is a new competition launched by the World Association of Persons With Disabilities.
Blimey. I hope you followed all that, because I'm now thoroughly confused.
Of course, I don't approve of such frivolous beauty competitions. I haven't done so since I was scandalously stripped of the title of Best-Looking Disabled Monkey In A Wheelchair, which I won while on holiday in Skegness in 1987.