- 15 Aug 08, 11:55 AM
It's just after 8.30 in the morning in a small park in the Jingshan area, and the mood around the open-air table-tennis tables is relaxed.
Old boys in vests and baggy shorts are puffing on cigarettes as they play, casually smashing balls at each other in a Gumpesque manner while others clean their bats, drink fruit juice and wait their turn in the shade of the leafy trees.
My plan was to chat to the locals about the Chinese obsession with ping-pong.
Within a few minutes, however, it becomes clear that I'm expected to join in with the matches.
Excellent, I think. I've always enjoyed a spot of flim-flam. Back in the day, I even won a school competition, albeit one that not many people entered.
When my first opponent is revealed to be an ancient-looking white-haired man, therefore, I'm a little insulted.
"I'm 84 years old," Ma Yu Chang tells me proudly, scratching his belly.
It's hard not to laugh. I've never played sport against a man half a century older than me before.
Warm confidence in my veins, I send down a sneaky little slicey serve. With a flick of the wrist, Ma drills it back past me while I'm still completing my follow-through.
Must be the pen-style grip he's using, I reflect. Not used to that back home. Better watch out for it.
I try a rapid serve. The ball sizzles instantly back over the net, but it's alright, because I've got it covered - I'll just....
What happened there? How did the ball do that?
A small crowd has gathered. Right Ma, I think. You're 84. I'm going to move you around, play on your obvious weakness.
Have that on your backhand, then that on your forehand, and then - woah!
With no warning, a flashing drive has spat up off the table like a Curtly Ambrose bouncer. So poor are my reactions that the ball actually hits me in the face.
There's a cackle from across the other side of the net. A small crowd of laughing locals has gathered.
With my t-shirt already darkening with sweat, I attempt to buy some time with a little conversation between points.
"When did you get this good?" I pant.
"During the Cultural Revolution," Ma says, sucking on his fag. "There wasn't much else to do."
He tells me his favourite player is Jan-Ove Waldner, the balletic Swedish legend whose improvisation and artistry transformed the game in the 1990s. I nod and look impressed.
He asks who my favourite is. "Desmond Douglas," I say. He looks at me blankly.
I decide a change of approach is called for. Maybe I'm being too anxious, trying to do too much.
I'll go on the defensive, adopt the wall-like tactics that served my sister so well in her occasional and hugely annoying victories over me during school holidays.
It makes no difference whatsoever to the points tally. It just makes me look like a coward.
Ma actually looks bored. After a while, he stops trying to win points and just keeps the ball in play, waiting for me to lose them.
I toy briefly with the idea of asking him to play with a half-size bat, as I do when I play against my nine-year-old niece.
The awful reality sinks in: not only am I being beaten by a man 50 years older than me - I'm not even giving him a game.
At 18-3 down, I switch to all-out aggression. I get lucky with a wild topspin swipe and then hit a sweet backhand drive cross-table for a winner.
Ma yawns, creams three more dipping forehands past my desperate lunges and strolls forward to shake my hand.
21-5. Sorry, Britain.
Over a post-match apple juice, I hear more about the legends and heroes of the Chinese game.
It was Chairman Mao who declared table-tennis the country's national game, shrewdly reasoning that sporting success was the quickest way to rebuild his nation's sense of pride after the humiliating military defeats of the past 100 years.
So obsessed with table-tennis was he that he even put his name to a coaching manual.
It was also a way of legitimising his revolution, of proving to the outside world that the new China was a nation to be reckoned with again.
It worked. When Rong Guotauan was crowned world champion in 1959, it was the first global title China had ever won in any sport. They followed it with the next three too, through the robot-like Zhuang Zedong, and have since won 16 of the 20 ping-pong golds that have been played for at the Olympics.
These days, the expectations are just as high.
Later in afternoon I jumped on a bus over to the Peking University Gym to watch the early rounds of the men's doubles, and found an atmosphere like that in a cock-pit.
There was screaming, stamping of feet and rafter-shaking roars whenever a player from China - or Hong Kong, or Taiwan/Chinese Taipei - got close to winning a point.
It was wonderful to watch, better than anything else I've seen at these Olympics so far.
What it couldn't do, sadly, is rid me of the memory of what happened after a slightly younger mate of Ma's also challenged me to a game before I left the park.
The full details are a little too painful to go into, but if I tell you that he was hitting smashes past me from behind his back and through his legs, you'll probably get the idea.
At one stage it got so bad that I thought he'd given me a trick bat, one that could only hit the ball sideways.
I shan't be going back.
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Comments
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Ha Ha, even Dirsy could have done a better job!
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Love the Desmond Douglas line, funny.
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Lovely little piece regarding the history of ping-pong in China! And kudos to you for playing against Mr. Ma (I suppose you don't have to feel as though you've lost to a man five decades older....rather, it might be better to say you played against a man with five decades more experience than you)
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The Chinese have a wonderful 'park' culture. In every village, town and city, from early morning to late in the evening, groups of residents, young and old congregate for a spot of ping pong, tai chi or synchronised dancing! It's just amazing to see...
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Hey man, its ok. I thought im good enough to give foreigners a ping-pang lesson, but actually, i was beaten by 2 scottish and the other two europeans. lol. see, im chinese, but.....
maybe we can play a game sometimes, lol. bad against bad, lol
cheers!
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Nice peice! really enjoyed reading!
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The correct spelling should be Rong Guotuan actually, a ping-pong hero in 60s.
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I am glad to see articles like this. I play tt in a local league and it is a fantastic social sport. It stretches mind, body, technique and co-ordination, nerve and is a joy and cheap to play whatever the standard. It's good the profile of tt is high in these games due to the Chinese devotion to it. I've been recording the Beebs coverage on Freeview and watching it in the evening, and the atmosphere is great and the play too, but would good if it can be shown on bbc1 a bit more though to get people watching. It's a sport more people should be aware of and play here and the media should cover more rather than telling us about Rooney's wedding, Gerrard etc all the time.
Wouldnt it be nice to have some public tt tables like Tom played at in this article. Cant see it happening here though, theyd just get vandelised!
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Tom,
You have my sympathy mate. Once lost a game of tennis to a five-foot tall 86 year old.
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good staff, glad you enjoyed it
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I hope I can play against these old fogies when I go to China. Thanks for the blog entry, seems as though you're enjoying yourself and making most of experiencing the life on the streets. Take it easy.
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This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the House Rules.
I help run the local table tennis club and used to play a bit, just local league stuff. When I was at Uni I got to play against a twelve year old Chinese girl who was part of a school team visiting the uni to talk about their training etc.
It wasn't the beating so much as the 'cha!' after each point that made me smile! It's hard to enter in to an agressive, competitive mode against a twelve year old girl.
Anyhow, outdoor tables would be fun but I'm not sure we have the weather for it ...
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no need to feel ashamed, Tom!
grandpa Ma (the chinese way to call old people) had gone through the culture revolution days. he's tough!
ur victory is guaranteed if u play ping pang with me!
I've never played ping pang in China because I don't enjoy loosing.
Anyway, glad u enjoy the little game in China!
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I used to play a lot casually with a couple of county-level players while at Uni back in the late 70s, and I could occasionally steal a game from them - I'm not that good. In the summer term we had a visiting lecturer from China come through the room and ask politely if he could have a "quick go". He must have been in his 50s or so and was wearing very worn old slippers and carrying a newspaper and a full cup of tea. I gave him my bat and then watched him totally wipe the floor with my county-level friend something like 21-3, but with the newspaper tucked under his arm and still holding his tea cup (and he never spilled a drop). I know it sounds unbelievable, but it is absolutely true. I'll never forget it, or the look of complete and utter shock on my friend's face.
I watch the sport ever since with a much better understanding...
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confusios say "playing old chinese man at table tennis and hope to win, as futile as chasing cheese down a hill! no hope in hell"
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ahahaha.
this was a pretty funny piece.
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I think maybe you need to watch more Superhero movies or read more comics Tom.
Had you done so you would have known that small elderly and wizened little Chinamen are invariably possessed of super-human reflexes and strength, together with a handy line in home-spun wisdom and philosophy.
Did he also own a run down little bonsai shop?
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Funny piece, I played my mate coops at table-tennis once and he was an outrageous cheat, he also cheats at football dream-teams by stealing my players, which is why coops should be banned from life.
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Interesting article indeed! We need more articles like this please - good insight into everyday Chinese culture.
I have been living in Cambodia this last year and a feature of Asian life which I love is people gathering in the parks to play sport.
There are huge numbers of people in every park playing shuttlecock and soccer as the sun goes down.
Not something we see in the UK, sadly!
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haha, such a nice post. enjoyed it very much. Good job!
I've never leant ping-pong officially. I started playing it with my classmates when I was in middle school in Beijing. It lasted for about a year.
Now after 20 years not practicing it, I found myself still can beat pretty much anyone in my Hall of Residence in London.
Oh, I'm a Chinese.:)
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A defeat this time, but judging by your skills in Bar Isit after the Wales Grand Slam, you should definitely try a rematch with Mr Ma in the mime form of the game. The post-match punters were mesmorized. Ma wouldn't stand a chance.
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Great piece - more like this please
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Mao tried to reinspire his country by getting them to play table tennis?
It's a bit of a joke of a 'sport', and is on a level with darts. While as technical as you like, it's a minature of a proper sport.
Maybe if he got his country playing football he'd be on to something.
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Nice to see such positive feedback. Ping pong has to be one of the most underrated sports going, highly technical, physical, and psychological....
Bend those knees Tom, and Go back and learn something.
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Just goes to show RobbyKing doesn't know what he is talking about :-)
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Yes, Collie21, that much is painfully obvious.
I love playing table-tennis. It's amazing how fast you get a sweat up, even if you are fit! There aren't many faster games in the world. Great to have a good piece on it. The text commentary was highlighting Singapore's win this morning: pure passion!
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Were you not the greatest at maths at school? I refuse to believe that you're 34!!
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Have played a bit of table tennis myself, and having watched some of the Hong Kong v. China games I was incredibly impressed with the standard. I definitely consider it a 'proper' sport.
But can anyone tell me why Hong Kong has a separate team to China? Surely they are part of China now? When I was in Hong Kong there were many articles about 'citizenship problems', where some Chinese players had moved to Hong Kong but weren't allowed to represent HK, think the Chinese table tennis authorities had some say in who could make the move and who couldn't (correct me if I'm wrong, a while ago now). So why are they two separate teams?
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timchippingtonderric - that's a great tale. I might make it my life's ambition to beat someone at sport while holding a cup of tea and rolled-up newspaper.
DHesketh - I was a fool. And I paid the price.
mr_medzy - the mime form of the game plays to my strengths, particularly the delusion that I can get smashes back. Wonder if we could set up a mime-sport Olympics. The archery could be controversial.
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I love this blog! I live in central China and everything you say rings so true ...
I'm in Beijing for the Olympics and you should see the looks I get from other hostel-dwellers when I'm spluttering with laughter at the computer.
More please!!
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Taking a stab at answering smellslikesalmon's question regarding separate teams for Hong Kong and China: Hong Kong has had its own official Olympic team long before 1997 (handover); the product of the strange history that characterizes the city.
There probably isn't a merging between the two teams because of political reasons between the city and the nation; HK is considered a Special Autonomous Region with its own form of government, and residents of HK even have separate passports than the people in the mainland...some HK people I know consider themselves having a different identity than their northern neighbours. It's all very complicated...
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Tom,
Enjoy your blog and thanks for the information along the lines.
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bit of a random one -
can anyone tell me the name of the classical piece of music which played in the background of the awesome bbc olympic report on history of table tennis in china? piano/violin? piece. thank you SO much, stevomarsh@hotmail.com x
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Des Doug? Surely saying Timo Boll would have been more impressive and you could have bluffed a knowledge about todays TT that you don't have.
You might have found out that Timo is the only European player that the Chinese fear.However watching the German team struggle to beat Japan I'm not sure that his form is 100%.
By the way I think Des did have an Asian tour or two that earned him some respect.Perhaps his victories were censored.
That "cha" noise that players make when winning a point I find it so annoying.
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I, for one, am applauding Mr Ma. If for no other reason than it should wipe the smug grin off Mr Fordyce's face next time he suggests we have a game.
I seem to remember the challenge going along the lines of: "We should have a game some time...... I used to play a bit of ping pong."
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I'm surprised he didn't know Des - he may not have been impressed at the 11 time English Champion statistic, but he was also World Number 7.
Also.. your backhand looks all wrong, Tom!
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As a amateur table tennis player, I enjoy this article thoroughly. It's hilarious! Thank you for writing it, Tom.
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