BBC Sport: Olympics blog

First of all let me apologise about the relative blogging silence from me in the last few weeks. As I'm sure you can imagine it has been a furiously busy period for me and all the other guys, not only in the judo team but also all of the other sports who will make up Team GB in Beijing in August.

Since the last time I wrote on the BBC website I have been through a torturous three weeks in Japan, felt the strain of injury on the return to Scotland and the relief of getting back to business on the mat.

I have shown that I can win medals when everything goes wrong and most recently I experienced what being a member of Team GB - rather than the British judo team - feels like when I was kitted out in my Olympic gear last week.

Like many other judoka, I have spent a considerable amount of time in Japan. I have put the hard hours of randori there. I have come to learn that extended periods of time in the Land of the Rising Sun can test your physical and mental steel, with day after day pitting yourself against some of the most technically gifted judo athletes in the world.

So heading out there with the rest of the team for a relatively short three-week stint didn't fill me with fear. I felt that the months on end I had spent there in previous years would stand me in good stead and I would fly through the trip with relative ease.

What I hadn't bargained for was the difference between going out to Japan with no real pressure and preparing for an Olympic Games. When I have visited in the past the focus was always on learning, developing and moving technically forward. This time around every practice became important, every throw analysed and mistake agonized over.

I was no longer in Japan to learn. I was there to battle. To begin the process of maximising my potential for each five-minute fight that will stand between me and Olympic success.

By the time we left Japan the team were certainly in better condition than when we arrived, but we were also hanging on by a thin thread! We had pushed time and again and the stresses were beginning to tell. Meanwhile the coaches and support staff had to deal with all the problems a camp like this will throw up and keep us on track and motivated - not a simple task at times!

In all, I think you would be hard-pushed to find another group of people happier to be boarding a plane out of Japan that day.

When I got home to Scotland, something just didn't feel right. I noticed a pain in my shoulder that began to get worse and worse as the week went on, which was very frustrating.

It meant some time off training, which in hindsight may not have been a bad thing. With fantastic work by my doctor - thanks Charlotte! - some intensive physio and rehab from Sandi and a quick day trip to London to see some of the best shoulder experts in the land I was back in the dojo and finally felt fresh and recovered from Japan.

Although it was a close call I decided to fight at the German Open - my last warm up event before Beijing - and it turned out to be a valuable experience.

I always like to feel that everything is as well-organised and prepared as possible. I like to feel confidence in my preparation and to have tried and tested every eventuality. I usually have quite a planned out pre-tournament regime, from what I eat, how I warm up and what I wear.

I also know that things can go wrong. And in Germany pretty much anything that could go wrong, did.

What should have been a pretty painless journey from Edinburgh to Hanover turned into an all day extravaganza when the airline downsized our plane for a connecting flight from Amsterdam and there was no space for us.

When we eventually got to Hanover, we found our luggage had not made the flight with us and although we were assured it would be a later I was beginning to assume the worst: there would be no kits, no belt (which probably doesn't sound too important but ask any top judoka about how they'd feel if they lost their belt!), no warm-up kit, food. NOTHING.

I arrived at the hotel travelling decidedly light with my GB tracksuit jacket, shorts and flip flops on at 10pm on Friday night. The weigh in for -90kg (I was fighting up a weight in Germany) was due to start at 6am Saturday.

The next morning was surreal. I went to the competition wearing the same shorts and jacket I travelled in, borrowed a pair of pants from Sarah Adlington, our +78kg player, and also fought in her slightly-too-big kits. Thanks for the loan, Big Ginge, much appreciated!

Despite all of the distractions, the travel delay and fighting up a weight I managed to stay calm and relaxed and won my first four fights to put me in the final. It really showed me that I could perform in any circumstances. It showed that even if something does go a little Pete Tong in Beijing I can still fight and still win.

My reward for all that hard work? A final with one of the greatest European judo players of my era, the former Olympic and current European -90kg champion Mark Huizinga of the Netherlands.

I lost the match but it was close enough against a player of the highest calibre at the weight above my own to give me confidence going into Beijing. Huizinga is 34 years old and this may be the only chance I will have to fight him. Although I am disappointed to lose I am also extremely proud to have fought such a great champion.

He is an inspiration in how to conduct yourself as an athlete and gives me even more confidence that with the correct attitude I can still be improving as a judoka when London 2012 arrives and I will be 33.

I mentioned that I now feel a real part of Team GB and that is primarily down to having received my Olympic kit, all 40kg of it!

Sarah Clark and I flew down to Birmingham to be sized up and kitted out at the NEC. It was a thoroughly enjoyable experience and the kit from Adidas and Lee Cooper is fantastic. I haven't worn any of it since I got back to Edinburgh and don't think I will. It probably sounds stupid but I don't want to tempt fate by prancing around like an Olympian before I get out there. I think I will only truly feel it when I'm on the plane to the holding camp in Macau.

I hope that this has got you up to speed with what has been happening lately and I will try to keep in touch a little more regularly between now and the big day.

I'd like to finish with saying thank you to all the well-wishers who have already been wishing us luck for our special day out in China. I really appreciate all the messages of support from everyone at Sport Scotland, the Scottish Institute of Sport, Judo Scotland, British Judo, the BOA, UK Sport and all of the individual players, parents and friends who have wished us luck in the last weeks. I hope that I can do you all proud.