Not the Queen's Speech
"My Lords, and members of the House of Commons. My government's over-riding priority is to win a fourth term in office.
"My government shall bring forward legislation to highlight the big choice facing one's subjects.
"A Bill shall be introduced to guarantee high-quality state education and to allow my ministers to suggest that anyone who opposes such Bills shall be in favour of the few and not of the many."
It is always amusing to see what language the incumbent party's spin doctors can slip into Her Majesty's speech without the Royal courtiers vetoing it. They are unlikely, however, to succeed in going quite as far as the mythical extract above.
Ministers insist that they are enacting the people's priorities. Their opponents insist, just as vehemently, that those ministers are electioneering. They may, of course, both be right.
Labour believes that the public wants new laws to guarantee better school standards, to give free personal care to those in greatest need still able to live at home and to strengthen banking regulation. They can point out that proceeding with a flood and water management bill is hardly naked politicking.
Their political foes will point out that laws as gestures or aspirations - promising to halve the deficit, to halve child poverty and to give every child a legal right to good schooling - are worth little more than the paper they're written on.
One thing's clear. Soon, you'll have the chance to vote on who's right.