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The 10 Worst Films of 2012

Friday 28 December 2012, 14:26

Mark Kermode Mark Kermode

As is traditional at this time of year here is my list of the ten worst films released in 2012 - enjoy!

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The Worst Ten Films of 2011

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  • rate this
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    Comment number 1.

    It's hard to argue with this list, though it does feel strange to positively review anything which contains Adam Sandler.

    Perhaps Battleship should have been higher. It's a shame really, as the film is a shade away from being one of the all-time great spoofs. Around the point with the war veterans fixing up the "Battleship", I was holding back the laughs, surely the whole thing was a tongue-in-cheek critique of brainless Hollywood blockbusters? That was until I saw the credits...

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    Comment number 2.

    That's a pretty good list of bad movies, I totally agree with number 1, it might even be the worst film of the millennium. I would also like to mention Abraham Lincoln Vampire hunter as I am sure it just missed being in there.

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    Comment number 3.

    I was ready to go crazy if anything other than the Keith Lemon movie was at the top/bottom of this list. It's arguably the worst film ever made.

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    Comment number 4.

    I'm so proud that I've not watched any of them. And never will.

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    Comment number 5.

    I still think you're being too harsh on John Carter, Mark. If you disregard the amount of money spent and the terrible marketing, do you _really_ think it was worse than Jack and Jill as a movie?

    Nice jumper by the way.

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    Comment number 6.

    I agree with pretty much all of this ... John Carter ... i spent a lot of money to go and see that particular one, at the local CineBistro here in the USA.

    The Rules of Conduct needs to have a refund policy attached to it. We need to demand our movie back for a defective product. If John Carter was a grocery item from Tesco, you would return it immediately, even if all you got was TescoClubPoints back!

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    Comment number 7.

    I'll swap you 'John Carter 2D' (which I really enjoyed!) for 'This Means War', 'The Watch', 'Cold Light of Day', 'Taken 2', 'Act of Valor', 'Cosmopolis', & 'Rock of Ages', to all of which I gave my ultimate bad review... I FELL ASLEEP WHILE WATCHING THEM.

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    Comment number 8.

    I think there are much more movies that deserve a place on this list thn John carter but that's just me. Is John carter a failure, yes but was it boring and dumb like Battleship, NO. Movies like That's My Boy, Jack and Jill deserve to be on the list but I think that movies like The Three Stooges, Alex Cross, The Watch even Woody Allen (who I like) To Rome with Love deserve to be in front of John carter, so don't trash the film just because he was a failure but how terrible it was even if it cost nothing. Just look at Nature Calls, This Means War, The Oranges, The Apparition, Madea's Witness Protection, Resident Evil: Retribution, What to Expect When You're Expecting, Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance

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    Comment number 9.

    I agree with the ones I've seen in your list Mark - Battleship and John Carter are awful.

    But I think Taken 2, The Pact and Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter should be in there. They were absolute stinkers.

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    Comment number 10.

    in 6.21 you gave me more entertainment and laughter than all the top 10 on your list. AMAZEBALLS

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    Comment number 11.

    OUCH! That bang to the head looked like it really hurt. I've manged to avoid all the films on Kermode's list, but some lousy films still got through the net.

    1: A Dangerous Method. How could a film with this director and this subject be soooo boring.
    2 Once upon a time in Anatolia. Some people rate this as a masterpiece, i can only give my honest reaction, that i found it to be a supremely unrewarding experience.
    3: Electrick Children. Being an indie film does not excuse one note characters, an undeveloped plot and a general feeling of dissatisfaction at the end.
    4:360. This film thinks it's terribly profound and insightful, but as the title suggests it all adds up to a big fat zero.
    5:Elles. In fairness Juliette Binoche is very good in what is a very shallow and rather pointless film. Although (damning with faint praise) it's still better than last year's Sleeping Beauty.
    6: Seven Psychopaths. This film has a great title, a great poster, a great cast and not much else.
    7: Freemen. Given the subject this should've been a great film, rather than a dramatic dud.
    8: Dark Shadows. Whilst Prometheus was an interesting mess of a film this is just a mess.
    9: The Woman in the Fifth. This film manages the unique balancing act of being engaging enough not to be boring, but not engaging enough so that you care about anything or anyone in it.
    10: Savages. Oliver Stone has made a good film called Savages, and some day we'll find it.

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    Comment number 12.

    For a few awful, stomach churning seconds there Mark, I thought that Keith Lemon The Movie might NOT have made it to the top spot. Never have I been more relieved to have seen Keith Lemon. The film was quite staggeringly grotesque, and my heart bleeds for all the up and coming film makers out there who are desperate for a big break but can't quite get it whilst this colossal disaster was unleashed on cinemas

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    Comment number 13.

    no Prometheus... Clearly one of the biggest messes of a film this year.

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    Comment number 14.

    I'm assuming that it's because of your love affair with Ray Winstone that you left out The Sweeney, in which Ray spent more time looking at his cheque than the terrible script, and Plan B delivered his lines as though he was a short sighted man reading the eye test chart at an opticians.
    Also missed out was the dreadful Cockneys vs Zombies.
    Two films that should have been on the list and reflect the ongoing decline of the British Film "industry"

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    Comment number 15.

    I've not seen any of the "Worst 10". Does that mean I've been redeemed?!

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    Comment number 16.

    Not seen any of these nor will I. Have to agree about The Sweeney, awful awful awful film, the worst part being having to watch fat bloke Winstone having it away with quite a fit looking actress....Yeeeech. Waste of 2 hours of my life.
    Never seen anything of Keith Lemon apart from trailers for his shows on TV. It looks incredibly unfunny and peurile.

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    Comment number 17.

    Putting John Carter into a 'worst of 2012' list especially ahead of Sandler's two movies is pretty ridiculous. Kermode's main gripe with the film seems to be the overblown budget and botched job Disney made of marketing the film.

    It's not a great film by any means, not even a good one perhaps but at least the filmmakers were trying to tell a story - is that really worse than cynical drek like "That's my boy" or "Jack & Jill"?
    I think a large portion of Mark's dislike of the film stems from the chippy interview he had with the director Andrew Stanton.

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    Comment number 18.

    I didn't think "John Carter" was as bad as you make out, Mark. However its problem was its source material: it was based on a series of books by Edgar Rice Burroughs, of "Tarzan" fame. As fantasy/sci-fi adventure stories, they're actually pretty good, for their time (1912 was the first). They went on to inspire such films as Star Wars and Avatar: both Lucas and Cameron are on record as saying they read the Carter books as kids. 2012 was also the centenary of the character's first appearance. So all the reasons for making the movie were all there. I guess the problem is they stayed too close to the original source material: we now know there's bugger all on Mars, unlike back in Burroughs' day, and this one fact alone probably spoiled audience's willing suspension of belief. Nevertheless, if you can set that aside, it's not a terrible film: the action rattles along, and the special effects are great. If you're a 12 year old boy (the main target audience), you'll love it. It's no more daft than Flash Gordon, and it will probably find its audience on DVD.

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    Comment number 19.

    Yeah would generally agree, although I would have tried to get Taken 2 in due to the blatant money grabbing if for no other reason.

    Oh and the jumper is clearly a bet!

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    Comment number 20.

    I knew right after seeing the trailer for Battleship, that will be as bad as Transformers and i was right. Actually if you watch each one of the trailers for the movies listed by Mark, they look bad. So no need to waste valuable money one them, better go to cinema to see Skyfall, Argo, The Dark Knight Rises or Prometheus. If anybody dares to put Prometheus in the worst films of the year just because it's disappointing, then you clearly need to watch it again with more maturity. I'm sick of people hating on it, just because of some flaws. I'm sorry but The Hobbit was disappointing but it's still a good film, it has as many flaws as Prometheus. Anyway, one thing is for sure, the next transformers movie will be one of the worst of 2013 !!!

 

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Outspoken, opinionated and never lost for words, Mark is the UK's leading film critic.

This twice-weekly video blog is the place where he airs his personal views on the things that most fire him up about cinema - and invites you to give your own opinions.

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