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My Worst Ten Films Of 2014 - Part 1

Tuesday 5 August 2014, 10:58

Mark Kermode Mark Kermode

We are half way through 2014 and here are the first five of my worst ten movies, from January to June.

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Worst films of 2013

Worst films of 2012



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    Comment number 1.

    300: Rise of an Empire wasn't that bad. Yes, it wasn't as good as the original 300, and male leads weren't that interesting. But, it was still perfectly enjoyable and Eva Green gave a dynamite performance. Can't wait to see her in Sin City 2!

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    Comment number 2.

    i am very good at avoiding "bad" films for the most part

    but the 2 for me this year so far were

    Locke - i don't watch tv programs so i don't tolerate this quality a production - the dialog was diabolical and the phone calls were cringe central - awful - i lasted half an hour

    robocop - just cos - it shouldn't have been made

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    Comment number 3.

    The thing with Cameron Diaz just makes me feel - why go to the cinema to see women screaming like that when you can hear it in a bus every day? It's Kate Hudson in You, Me & Dupree all over again.

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    Comment number 4.

    Have not had the displeasure of seeing too many mind numbing releases this year,but i did see this one that upset the apple cart.UNDER THE SKIN,this was as grating an afternoon i have spent at the cinema in a long time,though "Only God Forgives"pushed it close.
    Just could not buy this at all,i am aware it came with plenty of plaudits,but frankly my dear i could not give a dam.Where do i start?..slow,ponderous and went no where very laboriously,the poster states that it's "Mind Blowing"well my mind is still very much intact,maybe the film didn't exhale enough for me to detach my senses.

    After some soul searching through what has been an exemplary decent year for films thus far,the only one that rattled my cage was UNDER THE SKIN.
    To not be overly harsh,i did respond positively to Mica Levi's unnerving score,facilitating bleak beauty as our unsuspecting Glaswegian gentry sink to their deaths in what appeared to be the remnants of what the Exon Valdez spewed out some years earlier.All quite preposterous,leaving me,drained of any semblance of resuscitation,nor at this stage did i want to invest any further interest in this experience,well apart from the unscripted real life dialogue taking place on the streets of Glasgow,refreshing to see people rush to another individuals needs.

    Burnt into my membrane from a few months back,the one and only UNDER THE SKIN..
    I very rarely get scorched at the box office,but i hold my third degree burned hands up to this one.As far as British crime thrillers go Jonathan Glazer's "Sexy Beast" is up there with The Long Good Friday and Get Carter,so with that pedigree of production,i felt rather accomplished that i am on a good wicket this afternoon.First over of the day,i was clean bowled first ball.
    Being aware that this film was compared to Nicholas Roeg's "The Man who fell to Earth"incidentally i thought that was bland beyond belief also,i could stare puppy eyed at Scarlett Johannsen all day long,a truly beautiful woman,i wanted to save her,i wanted Bill Murray to bump into her somewhere in Govan,Gorbals,Easterhouse any where in the city and take her to a Karaoke bar,let her hair down,shed her skin and have a rollicking good time.Only Bill could have reignited my passion for this film,sadly he never showed up.

    This is an easy one UNDER THE SKIN.i don't go in for all that introspective approach/it's art house surely you can't criticise this absorbing piece of science fiction,look deeper,be more meaning full in your reasoning,it's too simplistic to shoot from the hip.
    Here's how it pans out,i read and watch some reviews,make my mind up,go the cinema,sit there,leave,then like or dislike it,no grey area's.It bored me senseless,a rare off day for me,but it's a film i can archive under,well "Off Day"don't break seal.

    Honestly do have a bias for Science Fiction,but i have to select UNDER THE SKIN..
    Vacuous from beginning to end.Miss.Scarlett's beautiful dialect,could not salvage my attention,i recall in the day watching some terrible episodes of "Blakes 7"this reminded me of an extended episode.Not the worst film i have seen by far,Chuck Connors in "Mad Bomber "holds that prestige,but i simply did not warm to this tale,desolate and flat lined through out.No redeeming pleasure existed,as my patience lasted the course,but any mental ability to embrace went for some pop corn and never returned.

    #As a side note.Arch Stanton,thanks for the "Jaws Log"recommendation,4 chapters in and a cracking read.

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    Comment number 5.

    Thank you Mark for going to see this rubbish so as we don't have to. You deserve a medal for sitting through this kind of junk year in, year out.


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Outspoken, opinionated and never lost for words, Mark is the UK's leading film critic.

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