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My Ten Worst Movies Of 2013

Friday 27 December 2013, 01:52

Mark Kermode Mark Kermode

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Here is my list of the ten worst movies I have seen in 2013 - be afraid - be very afraid...

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Worst Five Films Of The Year So Far

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  • rate this
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    Comment number 1.

    i totally agree with "The counselor"

  • rate this
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    Comment number 2.

    Surely Pacific Rim should be included for the same reason as The Counsellor and Kick-Ass 2. It is now 7 years since Pan's Labyrinth and this is the best that Del Toro can give us? From one of the greatest movies ever made to a $180 million version of Power Rangers. Loud noisy boring it wastes Idris Elba and Ron Perlman proves Charlie Hunnam isn't a leading man and has two of the most annoying characters in contemporary cinema in the two scientists! All those years hanging out with Peter Jackson haven't helped. Del Toro needs to get back to making Spanish language movies which are invariably better than his English language ones.

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    Comment number 3.

    I felt that some of the main problems with Diana involved the sentimentality surrounding the situation. I got the feeling that the makers were trying to be too careful.

    The problem with making biopics is that there will be those who'd be able to pick holes in accuracy, likenesses(how many actors/actresses actually look and/or sound like the people they are portraying?) etc. Unfortunately, in this case, this group was somewhat bigger than others.

    I tried to go in with an open mind through avoiding the sentimentality etc. I certainly didn't think it was a terrible film. It was bad/weak Definitely not anywhere approaching good), but certainly not terrible.

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    Comment number 4.

    Michael Bay should just go off and make porn flicks, seeing as he treats his movies in such a fashion. Still, I doubt he'd be competent in that field either. And to think we have "Transformers: Age Of Extinction" to look forward this year; an obvious contender for Mr. Kermode's top worst film of 2014.

    For me, it was "Gangster Squad:" major talent trying to make sense of a confused script. Dreadful.

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    Comment number 5.

    To this I would also add RIPD, for Ryan Reynolds' astonishing blank of a performance. You'd think, after Green Lantern, somebody would have learned something.

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    Comment number 6.

    Luckily I have only seen Bula Quo & Kick Ass 2 from Mark's list.

    Also, I haven't seen many terrible films this year but I have seen a lot of mediocre films. WWZ, Kick Ass 2, The Wolverine, Flight & Gangster Squad to name a few.

    However as a Top 5 worst films of 2013 list, I have come up with -

    1 - Spring breakers
    2 -Sharknado (A TV movie I admit but it was terrible)
    3 - After Earth
    4 - The Heat
    5 -Bula Quo

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    Comment number 7.

    I thought 'Only God Forgives' was a let down. I loved 'Drive' and that film came nowhere near it. It was far too slow moving.

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    Comment number 8.

    I'm glad to say that despite the hype most of these only lasted a week at my local multiplex (and the ones that lasted longer were probably under contractual obligation) so the only one I've seen is, er, Run For Your Wife. Which wasn't as bad as it looks.

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    Comment number 9.

    For me the worst film has to be Man of Steel.

    Its a film that I expected to be good, really good but instead I was left disappointed.

    It started of as Superman II meets Batman Begins but then turned into Superman IV meets Transformers. To much CGI, to many buildings being destroyed and an end fight that was nearly as long as The Hobbit.

  • rate this
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    Comment number 10.

    I haven't seen any of the 10 films in Mark's list as they're all so obviously terrible why would I want to subject myself to that?

    My worst film of the year has to be Trance, for the same reasons as Mark's picked Kick Ass 2 - it was just generally very disappointing, and a very rare misstep from the usually fantastic Danny Boyle. Not really sure what he was thinking of with this one.
    Runners up would be Stoker, The Worlds End, and Filth for the same reasons - all a bit of a disappointment given the usual high standards of those involved.

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    Comment number 11.

    Happy to say I haven't seen any of the flop 10.

    My stinker of the year - Elysium. It's District 9 but without the laughs or intelligent social comment.

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    Comment number 12.

    The two worst films I saw this year, by far, were The Hangover Part 3 and The Counselor. But at least I got a couple of laughs out of The Counselor.

    Elysium was probably the biggest disappointment - not a bad film per se, but I was expecting so much more.

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    Comment number 13.

    I've seen eighty-three films this year, but it's mainly because of Mark's reviews, trailers and my own instincts that I'd only seen one of Mark's bottom ten. I saw The Counsel(l)or because I simply couldn't believe a cast and crew of that calibre could produce such a howler - well we all learn from our mistakes don't we. I understand that Scott Cooper's 'Out of the Furnace' sadly runs along similar lines.

    Other turnips that I was dumb enough to go and see this year were Bachelorette, The Purge, Stoker (sorry Mark) and (in my personal opinion) Django Unchained.

    Spring Breakers would have been included but for the way Harmony Korine pulled a snowy-white rabbit out of his own battered old hat by holding the whole narrative together through nothing other than its sound track. Just goes to show that you can polish a Richard - a little bit.

  • rate this
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    Comment number 14.

    I'm amazed "We're the Millers" didn't feature in the list; but then, it's been a ripe old year across all forms of entertainment. Let's be honest; it's hard to imagine 2014 bringing anything but cautious optimism after such a terrible, hateful year of music, movies and video games.

    Really, I can't imagine things being any worse than they have been this year.

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    Comment number 15.

    A very fair and justifiable list, glad you included Kick Ass 2 and The Councillor. I wasn't a fan of the first Kick Ass film, so no joy lost there. However The Councillor was one of the biggest cinematic disasters of 2013. The film was a bore and quite frankly I really do hope Scott's interest in directing an adaptation of Blood Meridian has waned. On paper it should have been a match made in heaven, McCarthy, Scott, Fassbender, Bardem et al. how could you lose? Well it was a loss.

    As for Pain and Gain, what were you expecting from an emotionally detached director like Michael Bay? If it isn't big robots or Pearl Harbor, its something in between, a bromance (hate that word) between robotic muscular arrogant self obsessed musclemen like Dwayne Johnson and Mark Whalberg.

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    Comment number 16.

    Sorry I forgot to add, one of my worst films of the year that will make a brilliant companion piece to Pain and Gain, is Sofia Coppola's The Bling Ring. I know you praised the film, but quite frankly the film goes from being a satire on the celebrity obsessed culture of today, and instead becomes a celebration of it. Like Pain and Gain, the film is repetitive, dull and annoying.

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    Comment number 17.

    Really surprised The Harry Hill Movie didn't feature in the list, from the trailers I've seen on TV I thought that was a dead-cert. That is unless you haven't seen it yet and it gets bumped onto the 2014 list like Jack and Jill did last year.

    Also, I learnt my lesson after Dark of the Moon and have no expectations of Age of Extinction. I am 99% certain it will be in the 2014 list.

  • rate this
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    Comment number 18.

    The World's End. I avoid most films that sound like stinkers, but this was a huge disappointment: repetiitive action scenes, poor writing, a dislikeable main character and with a stupid ending. All the wit of the earlier 2 films in the trilogy was missing.

  • rate this
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    Comment number 19.

    Worst Movie for me this past year has to be Iron Man 3. While entertaining, it was just a Marvel retelling of The Dark Knight Rises.

    Any chance we can see the Top 10 on here?

  • rate this
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    Comment number 20.

    Sorry to say it, but my let down of the year was Only God forgives. And I´m saying that, beeing a fan of Walhalla Rising and not only Drive. Refn completely lost it here. I blame Gaspar Noe. May God forgive them.

 

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Outspoken, opinionated and never lost for words, Mark is the UK's leading film critic.

This twice-weekly video blog is the place where he airs his personal views on the things that most fire him up about cinema - and invites you to give your own opinions.

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