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Paper Monitor

13:37 UK time, Tuesday, 26 June 2012

A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.

"Forget football, a Brit girl wins Wimbledon!"

Hurrah! So what if the Daily Mail's rather misleading front page banner nods only to tennis player Heather Watson's performance on the opening day?! It's cheered Paper Monitor up no end after a dismal football effort on Sunday ("Glum on England" puns the Daily Star, with pics of Wayne Rooney and Steven Gerrard doing their lip-pursing sad faces).

We need to move on, advises the Star - after all, "it's time for the Murray magic". And time, obviously, for photos of the Brit number one "adjusting" himself and inspired headlines about "new balls please, Andy".

And what kind of Wimbledon coverage would be complete without images of photogenic (female) tennis babes? Heather graces the Mail's front page, and the Sun, in its commendable effort to cheer up the nation and "get Ova" England's Euro defeat, also obliges: "Sexy Maria Sharapova gives deflated sports fans a little lift yesterday", it coos, "as she hitches up her skirt at Wimbledon".

Photographic proof provided, naturally. Apparently, the 25-year-old Russian "answered The Sun's Page One call for tennis to boost our morale from frock bottom". What a good sport. She's got such a beautiful... heart, that one.

But heaven forbid that the annual tennis comp excites editors merely because it provides an almost-legitimate reason to feature the thighs/bottoms of lithe young women at the height of their physical prowess. Indeed, today we also get features on body art - as featured on, erm, the thighs of Karolina Pliskova. AND it's another great opportunity for subs to stretch their headline-writing muscle: "I say, ladies, that's tattoo much", puns the Daily Express.

If you're still in need of cheering up, may we also recommend consulting page three of the Daily Mirror? After Holly Willoughby tweeted a snap of herself make-up-free, we're treated to a rather satisfying picture gallery of other celebs without their slap.

In difficult times like these, every little helps.

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