A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.
Happy St Piran's day! That's the national day of Cornwall, for those of you unfamiliar with the significance of the date, and Paper Monitor - who holidayed in the county last autumn, and is clearly now halfway to full Brythonic status - looks forward to raising a a glass of Doom Bar by way of celebration.
The Times marks the occasion by asking whether Cornwall's burgeoning nationalist movement could, like their counterparts in Scotland and Wales, secure a devolved Assembly.
Certainly, the article suggests political Cornishness is in the ascendancy. It says a survey of 70,000 schoolchildren found that 41% see themselves as "Cornish" rather than "English", a rise on 2009's figures. In December, a petition demanding home rule was submitted to Downing Street after attracting 50,000 signatures - equivalent to 10% of the county's population.
However, a quote from pro-devolution councillor Bert Biscoe suggests intra-West Country rivalries may have contributed to this groullndswell. "There is a word for Cornwall in every European language except Finnish and Basque," he says. "There is no word for Devon in any of them."
The Daily Mirror takes a less controversial approach to St Piran's day: it covers the World Pasty Championships at the Eden Project.
"Pasties are taken very seriously in Cornwall," it reports solemnly. "Additions like peas and carrots are frowned upon."
Appropriately, accolades went to a chef who specialises in beef and smoked fish pasties named Graham Cornish.
Readers tempted to pack up their belongings and relocate to the western end of the A30 may wish to consult an article by the Daily Mail's Liz Jones, in which she asks whether "townies EVER pull off the country look".
Although the feature is decorated by an image of Ms Jones in full squire attire, she concludes in the negative:
I find Barbours simply not warm enough for the reality of looking after horses in winter, while a flat cap might make me look as though I condone shooting and fishing, which I most certainly do not. I tend to dress in a much more eccentric and townie fashion, with Prada jodhpurs, a Helmut Lang frock coat for walking my four dogs, and a Topshop parka for mucking out.
Ms Jones's run-ins with her neighbours in Somerset are once again given fuller context. Perhaps she could pop down to Cornwall and pick up some pasties for them as a gesture of reconciliation.