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Paper Monitor

10:30 UK time, Tuesday, 14 February 2012

A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.

Paper Monitor appreciates that not all readers of this column will have woken up to flowers, chocolates and associated Valentine's Day paraphernalia.

It is with these people in mind that the Daily Mail is presumably pitching its page five lead.

"My online date didn't exist..." runs the headline, "and the scam cost me my £40,000 life savings".

It lays out in sorrowful detail the story of a woman who went looking for love on the internet but instead fell prey to a fraudster. Paper Monitor can reassure those bereft of cards this morning that after reading the article, even the most joyful Valentine's recipient will be left feeling cynical and depressed.

Julie Burchill in the Sun is in a similar happiness-puncturing mood.

"When I hear the word 'romance', I reach for my whoopee cushion," she harrumphs.

Nonetheless, Ms Burchill manages to find some solace each 14 February.

"I love Valentine's Day," she opines, "simply because it drives home to me how I'll never have to even pretend to be romantic again."

After reading today's press, neither will Paper Monitor.

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