A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.
Men are from Mars and women are from Venus. So says the Daily Telegraph.
The paper cites an academic study which apparently concludes that female humans display more "sensitivity, warmth and apprehension", while their male counterparts favour "emotional stability, dominance, rule-consciousness and vigilance".
The conclusions have been contested by a rival school of scientists, the article continues.
But it appears the survey may have one learned supporter, if an article in the Times is anything to go by:
Stephen Hawking, the former Lucasian professor of mathematics at the University of Cambridge, admitted that these days he spends most of his days contemplating women but they remain a "complete mystery" to him.
And are they a "complete mystery" to Fleet Street?
The morning's papers feature a mocked-up photograph of the Duchess of Cambridge as a Scout, myriad pictures of Meryl Streep at the premier of Margaret Thatcher biopic The Iron Lady and a story about the daughter of a 1980s pop star falling pregnant.
Paper Monitor will leave male and female readers alike to draw their own conclusions.