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Paper Monitor

10:23 UK time, Tuesday, 8 November 2011

A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.

Several people are having what is technically known as a "bad day" in Tuesday's newspapers.

Home Secretary Theresa May finds herself on several front pages after confirming yesterday that she had authorised a "pilot" scheme in July to relax passport controls and then extended it in September. As a result illegal immigrants were able to enter the country. How many? She admitted she doesn't know - and never will.

"I''m sorry, I haven't a clue" is the Daily Telegraph's headline. While the Daily Mail thinks the story is such a disgrace the headline deserves ALL CAPITALS. It says her "blunder allowed 'danger migrants' to vanish".

The Times also has the story front page and it continues inside. It illustrates the piece with a picture of May addressing the Commons, with David Cameron sitting behind her with his hand clasped to his weary brow. An itch or a gesture of despair? It looks like the latter.

X Factor contestant Frankie Cocozza is also having a bit of a 'mare - as he might say. Seemingly short on talent but big on partying, he is now the subject of an Ofcom investigation. He is accused of swearing on television before the watershed and allegedly glamorising alcohol consumption.

He is allowing the papers to indulge in some nice alliteration. He's foul-mouth Frankie in the Mail, freakout Frankie in the Sun and funtime Frankie in the Mirror.

In his defence he says he is upset at being criticised by people on Twitter. He was also told rather frankly by X Factor judge Louis Walsh that he would never be a pop star after his poor performance on Saturday night's show. But there is still no sympathy for him in the papers.

As Mirror columnist Polly Hudson puts it:

Is anything worse than being told you'll never amount to anything by Louis Walsh?

Yet even after that she can't feel sorry for him. Oh dear. Taxi for Cocozza!

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