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Paper Monitor

13:02 UK time, Thursday, 20 October 2011

A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.

Today, we again find ourselves looking at the problem pages in the red-tops.

It's the career Paper Monitor always secretly thinks it could have pursued with success. There's always something one wants to add to the answers.

Just Jane in the Daily Star has a letter entitled "I'm bedding mate's man".

It's about a woman whose best friend is getting married in December. But the woman is in love with the best friend's fiance and has been having it away with him.

Jane advises that the two guilty parties must tell the poor girl the truth.

Paper Monitor advises: Buy a decent helmet. Kevlar if poss.

Over in the Sun, Dear Deidre has to deal with an 18-year-old guy who has just gone to university. He's been sharing a bed with a girl in his flat almost every night. But she's been kissing other men on nights out and when quizzed said: "We're not in a relationship."

Deidre tells him to have a sensible chat with the girl about either getting their relationship settled or to stop sharing a bed and be friends.

Paper Monitor advises: Look sonny, you've been sucked into an episode of Hollyoaks. Get out now.

In the Daily Mirror, sensible Coleen Nolan plies her trade.

One letter has the headline "Girl's confused me by cooling it".

The chap's been dating a great girl for a few months but out of the blue she's asked if they can put things on hold so she can "sort her mind out".

At the same time, she's been seeing a lot of this chap's best friend.

Coleen suggests he should back off, let her see he's fine without her and let her realise what she's missing.

Paper Monitor advises: Think of your Christmas card list as already having shortened by two.

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