A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.
Paper Monitor is not late today. Oh no, we're getting misty eyed about those fast disappearing beacons of provincial news - the evening paper.
The local papers are here with their own version of the silly season. "Owner of Asbo the dog is banned from having pets," reads a headline in the Nottingham Evening Post.
The story relates how a man has been banned from keeping animals for six months after his Staffordshire Bull terrier attacked three other dogs. And yes, the dog really was called Asbo.
The Newcastle Chronicle reports that Tony Blair was back on Tyneside to campaign for his Sports Foundation, which encourages locals to take up sports coaching. Blair's interview was notable for his reluctance to endorse David Cameron's Big Society.
"We started the Sports Foundation three years ago, so it is certainly nothing to do with that," the former PM said.
Poverty is a relative term, commented the Belfast Telegraph, with more than a trace of irony. The paper was responding to media reports that had golfer Darren Clarke not won the Open recently his finances would have been in dire trouble - despite the fact he already owned a rather nice set of wheels.
"As Clarke's £175,000 Ferrari 612 Scaglietti, resplendent with its personalised '60 DC' number plate, growled into the car park at Killarney Golf and Fishing Club, it was clear the term 'cash-strapped' is relative."
The phone hacking scandal has taken a bizarre turn, reports the Liverpool Echo with the news that former "Reds hero" John Aldridge had been snooped on by the News of the World.
"I had a phone call off the Met Police a couple of months ago saying my name had cropped up with some fella who had been hacking. It was a real shock."
Quite why this goal machine from the 80s was targeted was not revealed. Surely he's been forgiven for his boorish abuse of the fourth official at USA94? And that tash was a long time ago now.
Where would local papers be without some kind of spillage to report on. Right on cue the Birmingham Mail splashes with the headline: "Aston University evacuated after chemical leak in eye hospital."