A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.
If you've ever wondered what university academics do apart for teaching for a few hours a week, the answer is clear in today's papers - research. Whether it's time well spent is a matter of opinion.
One study dominates and you don't have to be a professor of whatever to work out why. Scientists at University College in London have concluded that half of Britons have some German blood in them. The Daily Mail says the findings are "herr raising". Arf arf.
It's a result of Anglo-Saxopn migration after the fall of the Roman Empire. As the Daily Telegraph points out the new findings now make it a case of "don't mention the relations". It also points out the German press are having a field day with the findings. It says Der Spiegel, the German news magazine, wrote:
There is no use in denying it. It is now clear the nation which most dislikes the Germans were once Krauts themselves.
Probably the biggest shock with regards to the story is that it wasn't picked up by any tabloid. In a state of denial?
Other research in the Daily Telegraph today reveals what's the best place for an afternoon nap - a hammock. It's the rocking motion apparently. Glad that's cleared up.
Another issue cleared up in today is that of raunchy photoshoots and the pressure they may or may not put on women. The expert opinion in this case comes from Page 3 girl and Newsnight guest Peta Todd. Yes, you read that correctly. Following her second appearance on the "super-serious" news programme hosted by the "even more serious Jeremy Paxman", she sets out her case for lads' mags and Page 3:
The word "objectification" is bandied about a lot at times like this, particularly in relation to lads' mag culture. According to some, women are objectified by raunchy, topless photoshoots. But objectification, in my opinion, is an ugly way of saying "appreciation" - appreciation of women and the naked form.
There you go feminists. Sorted. This little mix up has all been the fault of ugly words. Ms Todd also argues Page 3 and lads' mags are much better than women's magazine because "the average size and curvyness of the girls in the lads' mag will be far bigger than those inside the women's".
And just to prove how much the Sun "appreciates" the curvier naked form, at the bottom of Peta's opinion piece is a strapline promoting a feature in today's paper. It's a photoshoot of "proud size16 readers" posing naked. Female emancipation tabloid style.