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Paper Monitor

12:13 UK time, Wednesday, 9 March 2011

A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.

Welcome to the wonderful world of walkabouts Kate Middleton. Yes, our soon-to-be princess got her first real taste of what the papers want when it comes to visits by the Royal Family.

These are as follows: a picture of you doing a slightly silly activity that will lend itself to a good pun in a headline, to grimace while you are doing it and then get your hair blown around in a wild and windy way. Like a professional, she provided all three yesterday.

She tried her hand at traditional Shrove Tuesday pancake tossing while on a tour of Belfast with William. "Pankate Day" is the headline in the Sun and Mirror. Get it? While "flipping good" features in the Times, Daily Mail and Express headlines.

Even better, Miss Middleton manages to make a slightly odd face while she is doing it. Then her hair gets blown around in the wind.

It's a performance that guarantees her picture gets in every paper today, except the Independent.

The only other person who matches this sort of coverage is US actor Charlie Sheen and he had to do really crazy stuff, likewave around a machete and drink what he calls "tiger blood" to make sure he matched her column inches.

But one person who isn't completely charmed by Kate's pancake flipping is Daily Mail columnist Liz Jones. After previously urging her to champion British designers, Ms Jones is pleased to note Kate was wearing a £650 Burberry Prorsum coat on the visit.

But that's where the compliments end. She may have got the coat right, but she isn't wearing it right, says Ms Jones.

I know I wrote on Monday I don't want Kate to become a clothes horse, but she should at least inhabit the 21st Century, and dress her age! Someone, please (a corgi, maybe), ladder those black tights, and chew those awful low black heels!

Lesson one Kate. You'll never please everyone, even if you do successfully toss a pancake.

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