A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.
The popular soccer website Football365 likes to point out particularly gratuitous use of words like "ace" in the sports pages of the tabloid press.
But today they've managed to infiltrate the news bit of the Sun.
The front page splash is about a "Prem star" [translation: a football player from the English Premier League] who has had a "4-in-a-bed orgy".
The story carries on on page five with the headline "Ace Orgy".
But there's an even odder use inside. "Rings ace in surgery" is about Lord of the Rings director Peter Jackson. He is most definitely not a top sportsman.
All the redtops have big pictures of Richard Keys' wife Julia bringing a tray of cups of tea out of her house. But where was she taking them to?
The Daily Mirror speaks of the "lads gathered outside". But the Star and the Sun explain that the tea was being delivered to the press scrum gathered outside the mansion in Surrey.
It is not as rare an occurrence as one might think. Even with their houses surrounded by a mob armed with camera flashes and waving shorthand pads, some people respond with hot drinks.
Oh, and it also gives you a chance to say your piece in a fashion that's a bit more natural than a prepared statement.
But Paper Monitor is left wondering whether a tray of teas might have melted the hearts of determined besiegers from days gone by.
How would Genghis have responded to a cuppa?