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Paper Monitor

11:04 UK time, Friday, 31 December 2010

A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.

Paper Monitor has always had a sneaking suspicion that newspaper problem pages are not an accurate reflection of UK society.

If you take Dear Deirdre, "threesomes" are pretty much the norm. To illustrate this, Paper Monitor picks a random copy of the Sun (dated 23 December) from the "big pile".

Top Dear Deirdre letter: "I cheated on girlfriend with festive threesome."

In the Sun's Dear Deirdre the titillation is all in the questions. The answers have always been remarkably strait-laced. Oh, and then there are the photo casebooks.

Today, Just Jane in the Daily Star (with Jane O'Gorman) has a photo casebook on swingers.

If the problem pages are right, then life in the UK is rather like an endless Robin Askwith film.

A cynic might say that some of the letters were made up, although Paper Monitor knows no paper would perpetrate such chicanery.

The Daily Star has a grim letter about a boyfriend that went off sex after a stag do. The answer is suitably grim.

"It sounds like your guy got up to some things that have pushed him to the limit physically, mentally and even morally."


The Daily Mirror now has Coleen Nolan where once Miriam Stoppard used to be the only source of sage advice. Dr Miriam always tried to deal with the questions properly, armed as she was with a real background in medicine.

The tone with Coleen is a bit lighter. And Paper Monitor believes questions on incontinence and prostate cancer are a bit less likely to crop up.

Coleen deals with a cracker today.

"The other night I was looking at porn on the internet and I saw my best mate's wife on there."

The man wants to know whether he should tell said best mate.

Coleen's advice: "You should stay out of it... it's time to change your porn sites."

Paper Monitor's advice: "Tell him. Tell him now."

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