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When Jesus Christ shed tears for Lazarus, it was news.
David Beckham sobbing is not.
Especially when he does so on primetime television.
Anyone watching the BBC Sports Personality of the Year last night will have seen him weep when he received a lifetime achievement award.
It was an emotional moment, for him and the viewers, but for the UK's biggest-selling newspaper, the Sun, to repackage that event as a front page story the following day is a little desperate.
Millions already saw it happen, and those who didn't are probably not very interested.
But Paper Monitor is a big fan of the Sun and there is plenty else to admire - the headline Golden Bawls on the Becks story, for example.
And inside, it has a three-page special on The Apprentice which features a rundown of how long past winners stayed at Lord Sugar's company, which can be summarised thus:
2005, Tim Campbell: quit after two years
2006, Michelle Dewberry: quit after six months
2007, Simon Ambrose: quit this year [although this is disputed elsewhere]
2008, Lee McQueen: quit after two years
2009, Yasmina Siadatan: works for Amstrad Healthcare
The climax of The Apprentice and several other TV talent / reality shows in the last fortnight have filled countless news pages.
And today feels like the post-season hangover, after Kara / Stella / Matt / Stacey [delete as appropriate] have been crowned queens and king of their respective contests.
As well as providing Fleet Street fodder, these "events" prove that the obituaries for terrestrial television were written in haste.
About 30 million are estimated to have watched either X Factor or Strictly Come Dancing on Sunday of last week.
But now that they're over, certain newspaper editors are going to be scratching their heads.
Or maybe not. ITV's Dancing on Ice begins in the new year...