A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.
Just over a week on and some of the papers are valiantly keeping the Royal engagement on the news agenda. The Daily Mail and the Express manage to do it with news that Kate Middleton bought some food in a supermarket yesterday. Yes, and put it in carrier bags. Yes, and carried them herself. How's that for a people's princess? It was Waitrose of course. If it had been Lidl that really would have been a story.
The Daily Telegraph sticks to fashion. It says Kate's engagement-announcement outfit is now being replicated all over the High Street and women - maybe even men - are flocking to buy it.
How does it know this? Women are buying blue dresses and black shoes of course. Is this something no one ever did before last week? That would seem to be the suggestion.
Miss Middleton wore a pair of plain black suede court shoes. Several similar pairs can now be found.
You're kidding me, there are now lots of plain black suede court shoes on the High Street? Those rarest of shoes? The paper has also managed to track down four other knee-length blue dresses on sale in the shops. Wow, probably an impossible task a few weeks ago.
And finally, when does "free" actually mean you don't pay a thing? Is it when the Daily Mail offers its readers a "free Royal Doulton plate to mark William and Kate's engagement"? The answer to that would be... no.
A massive fan of souvenir china, Paper Monitor quickly flicked to page 42 for details on how to get this "free" plate. Collect 50 - yes, that's a five and then a nought - differently-dated tokens and send them with a cheque for £2.75 to cover postage. With the paper costing 50p a pop, that's £27.75 in total to get this "free" plate. Bargain.