Re: Twitter name @theashes brings cricket fame to US woman. "The 22 year old said her boyfriend had been calling her "the ashes" for a long time, but that neither he or she could remember why he had given her this nickname." Ummm, call me Mr Obvious, but is it not because ashes is an abbreviation of Ashley Kerekes, her name?
Whilst working as a Christmas casual in a well-known supermarket in Dorset, I was asked by a customer where she could find "biscuits for cheese ". I accompanied her to the correct aisle, lifted down a packet from the very top shelf, handed them to her and said: "Your crackers Madam." She didn't see the funny side of this and I was reported to the manager. Luckily, the manager did have a sense of humour - he reprimanded me in front of the customer but then slapped me on the back and gave me a huge grin when she'd gone.
Nigel Francis, Warrington, England
Regarding today's Random stat. Did he not take no for an answer?
Dodie James, London, UK
Re: The Shard was conceived on the back of a napkin. Why is it that you never hear about an idea/calculation/drawing appearing on the front of a napkin?
Tim Evans, Oxford, UK
Talking of funny names for buildings, here in Wellington we call our stadium the cake tin.
Al, Wellington NZ
It may be his real hair, but it is also a multi-billion dollar, world-class, 76-story solid-gold comb-over.
R Slack, Cambridge
Re: Ten Things: "2. A elephant's cracked tusk requires at least 47 tubes of resin to fill it." Surely this depends on the size of the crack and the size of the tubes - lets keep "at least" to mean "at least" not "on one specific occasion"
Tim Webb, Notts England
Paper Monitor is normaly peppered with links to outside sources, however today's story of "a bikini clad lovely massively displayed" contains no such hyperlink. Of this I am sure, having clicked (no euphemism intended) for some 40 minutes now. This omission is surely proof, if proof were needed, that Monitor is female.
Chairperson, Monitor's A Girlie Society, Vacillation, UK
John Bratby (Friday's Letters), unlike the man who left his money on the top of his car, who would have been better off leaving it in a shop, perhaps it might have been more constructive to have left your birdseed atop your motor.